One Year Ago......

A year ago this week, this Mommy had the scare of her life. Jesse was seven months old, and it was the very weekend that he started scooting. Kev had a Saturday class, and I drove him to school because I wanted the car to go to the market later. In my hurry to get him out the door, I was careless and left my curling iron on and sitting on the floor in our bathroom. When the boys and I got back home from dropping Kev off, I completely forgot about it and went about my business. Kaden went to use the bathroom, Jesse crawled in after him, and the rest is history.



Certainly the most traumatic thing we have ever been through as a family. Days upon days of screaming and cleaning and bandaging and rebandaging his sweet little hands. 45 minutes to an hour both morning and evening. Trying times.



Our family experienced God's grace and mercy in amazing ways during those weeks and months, though. We have a very unique insurance, so because of this only certain doctors and hospitals will take us on. If we didn't have this situation, we would have simply gone to one of the doctor's right in the area of our school. Instead, our pediatrician sent us to the number one Pediatric Hospital in the nation with one of the very best plastic surgeons in that hospital. And get this - not only was our Dr. Chang one of the BEST.......he had a specialty, and it was specifically HANDS!



Kev doesn't like re-living those days, and neither do I. But, it is important to remember how very good God was to us and how well He took care of us! We got the number one hospital with the number one doctor who was known for making toes into fully functioning fingers and operating on far more severe burns than our little guy experienced. He took such great care of our baby and what was even more amazing was the fact that back in those days Jesse was quite the screamer.....and he was completely mesmerized and calm whenever this doctor took care of him.....every single time! I wanted to take him home with us!

Being in that hospital was also helpful for me to gain proper perspective of our situation. Many parents were experiencing far more excruciating and traumatic situations than we were. In the grand scheme of things, it could have been far far worse. Nothing I EVER want to go through again.....but it was helpful to be reminded of how many things I had to be thankful for.



This is not a great picture, but it shows how his fingers healed before having surgery. They healed somewhat claw-like, and the doctors said that as his hands grew he would be in pain because of the lack of skin there and he would not have full functionality like he should.

So, on Jesse's first birthday, he got a little blue cast and had a skin graft taken from his hips. You can't even see the hip scar today, and the scarring from his burns is all on the bottom of his hand, so no one ever even notices unless he flips his hand over. I can't believe that I don't have a picture of his hand now, but needless to say, it is completely healed with full and total functionality. Praise the Lord! There is a tiny little scar along the side of his middle finger that may need to be looked at when he turns three or four, but if it feels tight or painful not only will he be able to tell us by that age, but it will be the tiniest, most minor of surgeries - and in and out thing which will not be a big deal at all.

And knowing my Jesse like I do......methinks this will be the first of many a hospital visit! But the last of one that is because of me, Lord willing.......

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"He heals the brokenhearted....and binds up their wounds." ~ Psalm 147:3

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God...I rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, oh people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." ~ Psalm 62:5-8

"When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." ~ Psalm 63:6-8

Okay. I love this lady. I want to be like her when I grow up! She's funny. She's witty. She puts on no pretense. She's authentic. She's vulnerable. She's encouraging. And she is super cool.

I like what she is NOT even better.

She is NOT holier than thou. She does NOT admit to having it all together. She is NOT afraid to share when she is struggling. And she does NOT fake her walk with the Lord.

I wish we could be friends. I wish I could go over to her house for coffee and just glean from her. I wish she could come to our Monday morning Mommy times and share with us all of the things that she has learned from walking this journey and being down the road a little farther than us. But alas, it is not meant to be. Instead, I'll just have to read her blog every day and pretend that we're fabulous friends and tell everyone else about her!

Anyway, one of her posts that she had written quite awhile ago has always stuck with me, and I was reminded of it again when I had the privilege of watching a dear friend's three month old baby today. This baby was a little doll today - nearly perfect. There were only three somewhat intense moments of her crying pretty hard and me learning how she needed to be soothed. But, Mister Man, those few minutes took me smack dab back into what my life was like nineteen months ago when My Little Screamer entered my world. The first six months of this little guy's life are months that I will be happy to not have to repeat. They were intense. Many tears all around!

That's the jist of this post and the reason why I love it so much. It's all about remembering.

Remembering the super intense moments that take place all throughout the various stages of childrearing. And then, not only remembering these moments but also empathizing with our friends as we see them walk down those same roads with their babies.

Empathizing is far different than sharing unsolicited advice. Empathizing is different than joking about how it can only get worse! Empathizing is different than patronizing. Empathizing is coming alongside our sisters and walking the road with them. It's loving and accepting no matter what. It's not judging. It's bearing their burdens with them. I am blessed to have friends who do that for me. And it's what Christ does with all of us on a daily basis!

Anyway, read this post. It rocks. This is how I want to be encouraged by other moms. And this is how I want to be an encouragement to them.

Pooch Pops

I came across this cute little cookie recipe the other day in Family Fun Magazine. This is seriously one of the coolest resources for finding fun kid recipes, crafts, and really fun and creative ideas.

Anyway, we tried it, and it was really easy and the kids loved it. Granted, most of the cookies didn't come out looking like puppies, and I ended up not using the popsicle sticks, but they were still pretty yummy. Behold! A masterpiece!



POOCH POPS

2/3 cup all-purpose flour (I would use 1/3 next time. It made them a little dry)
1 roll refrigerated sugar cookie dough
2 TBlsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
8 lollipop sticks
2 TBlsp. mini chocolate chips
1 tube vanilla decorating frosting (not really necessary - just shove the candy into the dough)
24 brown and/or red M&M's - (or whatever candy you have. Jesse kept eating all the M&M's, so we ended up using different chips)!

1. - Preheat oven to 350. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper. Knead flour into cookie dough until smooth. Divide dough in half. Knead cocoa powder into one half until smooth.

2. - Roll out vanilla and chocolate cookie doughs until they're barely 1/4 inch thick. Cut out 8 hearts from each using a 3-inch cookie cutter. Place the vanilla hearts about 3 inches apart on cookie sheet. Insert a lollipop stick into each heart shape. Slice the chocolate hearts in half lengthwise. Place on either side of vanilla hearts as the ears. Press 6 mini chocolate chips, pointed side down, on each of the vanilla hearts for freckles. Use frosting to attach eyes and nose - or just shove them in.

3. - Bake until just golden, 10 to 12 minutes. Transfer cookies to wire rack and cool completely. Tie a ribbon on the lollipop stick, if desired. Makes 8.

On Savoring......

I came across an awesome post by someone this morning.

I love reading about other moms and their children.....their struggles, their lessons learned, their love for their babies. I love reminders to savor, reminders that childhood is fleeting, reminders that these - the right here and right now moments - these are the glory days. These are the moments to savor and to drink in. These days are not for wishing away. Not for waiting for life to slow down and for the crazyness to be over.

These days are about CHOOSING to slow down. choosing to stop. to listen. to get down on my babies' level and to look them straight in their eyes and to truly see them. Clean floors don't matter. Piled high laundry will eventually get folded and put away. Dishes will get washed.......




And my chilren will grow and one day be gone....and then I'll have all the time in the world for that other stuff.

Jesus teach me. Remind me. Show me how fleeting this moment of motherhood is. Help me love as You do. To see my children through Your eyes.

To savor.

I Want to be a Bezalel!

I had never heard of Mr. Bezalel before yesterday, but now he's my new fave and I love him! Might even want to name my next boy after him. (Big joke - Kev would never go for it).

I'm doing a Beth Moore Bible study - a first for me - entitled "A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place," and I really really love it. She's taking us through the building of the Tabernacle in the Wilderness, and yesterday's lesson was all about this guy named Bezalel.

Bezalel was nothing out of the ordinary - just like me - but he was chosen by God because he was available and because he was obedient. Back in Old Testament days, before Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended on only a handful of people - for a period of time - and these were mostly leaders, prophets, elders...basically "important" people. In all the list of those important few who were filled by the Spirit, Bezalel was the only one who was not a leader or a prophet. He was just a wage earner....a blue-collar guy. Nothing special. Yet, he was the only one in Old Testament history to be filled and empowered by the Holy Spirit to construct the Tabernacle. Super cool. Just a regular dude.

The name Bezalel means "in the shadow of God." This guy was not on a power trip or craving recognition. He was perfectly happy to dwell in the shadow of the Almighty! God's name was enough for him, and he considered it a privilege just to work on God's team.

This is so awesome! And so unlike me, I'm afraid. I too often love and crave the accolades and the recognition. I like the spotlight way too much. But, I so badly want to just simply be happy and content serving and loving Jesus....content to live in His shadow.

Okay. Here's where the lesson hit home for me.

God empowered this man for an assignment that was WAY out of his league......hmmmmm.....somewhat like motherhood for me...., and He did this ON PURPOSE! He purposely assigned Bezalel a task beyond his capability so that God could fill him with His power.

Motherhood IS completely out of my league - raising my kids to love Jesus, helping them to become young men of character, etc. etc. Anything and everything of priority in the Kingdom is waaaaay out of my league! BUT THAT'S SO GOOD! I need to remember that God has me in a position way beyond my capability so that I will be at His absolute mercy, realizing that only He can succeed.....never me - especially in my own strength.

Sincerity and sweat will never suffice! Good intentions will always result in failure.

God wants to raise my boys to be godly men THROUGH me. He doesn't want ME to do it! He wants me to simply let Him do His job through me as a completely open and willing vessel. If I can stop to remember that I work for Him - and not the other way around - with my assignment will ALWAYS come the guarantee that I will be equipped for the job. It is ONLY through Christ that I will be an effective mother, wife, friend, woman!

He promises to equip me "for the work of service" to the building up of [my boys]. (Ephesians 4:12) He measures grace to me (Ephesians 4:7), and He promises that when I am in His Word and have His Word being lived through me that through Him, I will "be adequate, thoroughly equipped for every good work!" (II Timothy 3: 16,17)

That's a promise that I will cling to! Just call me Mrs. Bezalel......

Out of the Blue!

All of a sudden....

in the past couple of days, Kaden has discovered that he can write a whole whack of letters AND draw REAL pictures! This may not sound overly amazing to you, but it is the absolute coolest thing in my book to watch him literally go from one day drawing scrawly lines and squiggles to the next day writing letters and drawing real pictures!!!

He was just scrawling out a "picture" like he always does, and he looked down and said: "Hey! That's looks like an 'A'!" and it was like a lightbulb turned on inside his little head and something just clicked. He suddenly realized that he could write letters ALL BY HIMSELF! And now he's exploding with letters and asking me how to spell words right and left!




And then -

he was coloring with Grammy last evening, and he watched her create her own "real" picture, and it was like watching another lightbulb go on. And now - he's drawing pictures of trees and houses and suns and alien looking people....but they're real, honest to goodness PICTURES!

LOOK!!!




Amazing.

Not My Week......

OH. MY. WORD.

Somehow.....Someway.....in trying to add a new link to my "Good Things" Links on my sidebar, I deleted every blasted link over there - including that whole section! Seriously, I am concluding that I absolutely am unable to multi-task anymore.

Sooooo, if anyone can remember what I even had over there....or maybe some nice suggestions of things that I could add now, that would be fabulous. Even better, if there was some miraculous way that I could get them back, that would be awesome, too. Thanks.

Fantastic.

Yesterday......

Betty Crocker, I was NOT!!!

Holy Cow!!! Every single thing that I put my hands to bombed...ROYALLY!

We have a Mom's get together every Monday morning. I thought it would be fun to make some gingersnap cut-out cookies with the kids, so the older two helped me whip up the batter really quickly. I was rushing, and trying to multi-task, and misread the recipe BIG time! There was a grease spot on the ingredient amounts, and I mistook 1 teaspoon of baking soda and instead read 6 TEASPOONS! Holy nastiness!!

And the funny thing is, I didn't even notice until everyone had left and I had sent cookies home with the kidlets. I sat down and tried a bite of one for myself and just about died from the bitterness! In hindsight, I don't think any recipe that I have EVER made has called for six teaspoons of baking soda! Ha!

And then - later in the afternoon I was trying to make supper with my crabby younger son who had just awakened from his nap WHILE talking on the phone with a long lost friend who never updates her blog so I can't ever really catch up on her life...ahem...hint hint. So, needless to say, I was focusing more on our conversation rather than the recipe, and instead of putting curry in, I put in cumin - which KILLS my husband's stomach, by the way! Once I realized, I shook a whole bunch of curry on top of that, added a little honey for sweetness, and chucked it onto the table!

And in that moment, I decided that I was done in the kitchen for the day.

I LOVE......

:: these boys
:: this day
:: my life

Snow Day!

Snow is falling around these here parts - not too hard yet, really, but our church still cancelled for the day. We were actually the ONLY ones in the area to cancel! Kinda' funny.

We were all bundled and at church by 7:45 before the decision was made. It was actually closer to 9:00 by the time all details were wrapped up and we were able to head home, so we spontaneously called some friends and decided to go out to breakfast on our way. Tons of fun!

I love having days like this.

Usually our Sundays are so crazy - we practically live at the church all day. I actually don't mind that at all, and I love our new church family. But, this kind of feels like a snow day cancellation from school. You get all revved up for a busy day and then find out that you get to stay home all nice and cozy with your family! I love that! We're going to go out and play in the snow a little later and then maybe make some cut-out cookies together.

It's really been a nice week-end. It's felt like a mini vacation in a way. A good balance between errands and projects that have waiting to be done and also lots of vegging and family time and play. Love that.

Happy snowy day to the rest of you! May it be filled with cozyness, hot chocolate, and some fun family moments! And maybe even a nap!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

Wow! Is it ever cold out today! No one's car in the parking lot would start this morning, and my nostril hairs kept sticking together. Good times.

We're finding it somewhat difficult to think of ideas of what to do on our family days when it's so blasted frigid out. Hubby is one who likes to get out and about and doesn't really love sitting still for long, so we almost always go somewhere on our Fridays together. But, usually we drive somewhere so that we can be outside....and man - that's been hard to do! Any ideas?

Pre-kids, we would have hightailed it to the coast, even to just get out for a couple of minutes. But, that's not fun for the boys - especially Jesse who hates to be belted in even for a 30 second drive to church. They need to be able to get out and RUN if they're going to be driving for a trip anywhere. It's too cold for hikes or sliding...or maybe we've just gotten too wimpy. I'm not sure. We just hate being cooped up inside all day. All three boys start jumping off the walls!

So, we ran a couple of errands and then went to the mall and let them run around and play there. I'm so not a mall Mom, but it's fun once in awhile. Especially when treats are involved.

Now I'm sorting through a plan of attack for fun crafty ideas and things to do inside during these freezing cold days of yuck. I've got some ideas rolling around that I'll share if they're successes. We made some pretty fun homemade playdoh yesterday. Easy sneezy. For each kid: 1/4 cup salt and 1/2 cup flour. Let them stir that all around in a huge bowl. In another bowl add 1/4 cup warm water and let them have at it with making their own color out of food coloring. (Obviously, help the wee ones on this step. Jesse tried drinking his when I wasn't paying attention. Ahem). Mix all together and go to town with cookie cutters, feathers, toothpicks...whatever! Slightly messy, but good for about an hour of entertainment. It's worth it!

Before laying Kaden down to nap we had a cute little conversation, today. I said, "Kaden, do you know how much Mommy loves having you two boys?" He said: "Yeah. And you get to have THREE boys! How lucky are you?!!!"

Super blessed, Buddy.

Plan for the Joy

Nothing amazingly profound to report from my own lips today. Just wanting to share some tidbits from a couple of blogs that I read who are farther down the journey of motherhood than I and who are thus, much wiser than I about what is important and lasting in life and child-rearing.

A Mom of twelve writes:

* * * * * * * * * *
"Have you heard? Life is fleeting. Time is deceptive. The days are evil. That’s right, I said evil. In other words, the days are crafty little buggars. They lull you into a false sense of security, of feeling like nothing will ever change, and all the while…it is. Antique Mommy’s post here was yet another reminder to slow down, enjoy the moment, and most importantly, to plan for joy in our everyday moments. She does not advocate trying to fabricate joy, but to simply expect it. To be ready for it.

To have eyes to see it.

There are pearls in these days of ours. Pearls straight from God’s hand in the form of sunrises and sunsets, gentle breezes and fierce storms, clamoring voices and bubbling laughter, messes and mishaps. Is it possible that the irksome interruptions that derail me from my goals are themselves the goals instead? Too often I am the sow trampling those pearls of opportunity under my feet: unthinking, unappreciative…unwilling.

You’ve heard all this before. So have I. Taking our lives for granted is a priviledge only possible for a small percentage of the world’s population, and I’m part of that. I don’t want to be guilt-ridden, I just want to do better. And so I’ll keep saying it, if for no other reason than to remind myself to pull my head out of the mire.

Because someday, instead of mindlessly mucking about in the feed trough, I want to spy the pearls that are right in front of me. I want to pluck them up out of the mud, polish them, and string them on cords of gratitude to the One who scatters them with such indiscriminate liberality".
* * * * * * * * * *

Another AWESOME and oh-so-real post about discovering joy in the journey can be found over here by another busy Mommy of many who gets it.

We're all on this journey of motherhood and life together. No one ever said it would be easy; in fact - we should expect it to be hard.....because Satan wants us to fail! But we need to savor these years and these moments, we need to drink them in, because they are fleeting, and before we know it - they'll be gone!

Lord, help me to discover the joy in the mundane....to slow down the "tyranny of the urgent,"......and to plan for the joy in the everyday moments of this life that You have given me! Give me Your Joy - complete and overflowing, and may it spill over onto all who come in contact with me......

Frustrating!

Wow....gotta love apartment life. I just wrote a whole post, and we lost our signal here so everything got lost. Fantastic. Okaaaay, learning patience here. Anyway.....

We've had a nice weekend. It seems to have taken us a long time to find our groove here. Longer than we thought it would. Kev has always had one day off a week - for which we are all so very thankful. I know that we are blessed and that not everyone is able to have that gift. Usually on this our family day, we hightail it somewhere - anywhere - for a fun family day. But, I think we have only done this one time in the past three months. Very bad.

Anyway, we decided that yesterday we needed to get back into our rhythm, and we kicked it to our most fave coffee shop down in Camden. Kev and I love this place so much, that we don't even think twice about the hour (plus) time it takes to get there! It's a very funky and eclectic place that has awesome food and pastries, and really yummy organic coffee. We have yet to try something that we don't absolutely love - and we are coffee shop prissies! So, we went there for lunch and then walked next door to one of our favorite kid stores. This place had a train table set up for kids to play at as well as a fun little kitchen area. Jesse filled his pants while we were there, so we played until he stunk up the ENTIRE place, and then we hightailed it out of there. Good times, good times.

Yesterday I had one of my cleaning/culling urges. Kev and Kaden ran errands in the morning while Jesse and I cleaned and did laundry, and then during naps Kev and I reorganized our life that's in the attic storage. We managed to fill three trash bags and three yard sale boxes, so the clutter of my life seems lightened considerably. I hate stuff.

In other news, Jesse took a face plant off one of our waist high chairs yesterday. He took a diving, face planting leap out of his pack and play at church today. And I fell on the way to the car while holding him this morning and gave him a massive whip lash! If he makes it until two, I will be amazed!!

My 300th Post!

Holy Canolli! Who would've known I would have so much to say that I've reached my 300th post?.....Ahem....don't answer that! :0)

So, I've been thinking a lot about this whole world of blogging lately. Mostly because of my last post, I guess, and because of friends who have posted similar things on their blogs.....and because of many recent conversations with friends.

And I think this whole blogger world is an awesome thing, to be sure.

The whole reason why I originally created a blog was to keep in contact with my friends from Maine while living in Philly. And now I do it not only to stay in daily/weekly touch with them but also with my frieds that we left behind in Philly! This sort of thing works really great for me because I'm not a real lover of the phone, but I do love to just kind of pop into people's lives (blogs) and see what's going on with them every few days.

However.....I think blogs are kind of like a "pseudo-life" that in many ways aren't totally REAL. Well, they are real to an extent....but they don't really show the true day to day lives of each of us....which can lead to people thinking each other's lives are maybe something more than they really are. Are you following me? :0) What I mean is, I tend to only post when I feel like I have something worthwhile to say, or when we did something that was worth posting - like something funny or cute or family oriented. I don't post about the mundane or the more bummer of days - especially in the moment. Because, in the moment, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING, let alone post something on a numb blog. Or if I DO post about them - it's when they are already said and done, so they don't look nearly as bleak as they did in the moment.

So, maybe certain people's blogs portray them as being totally exciting, or having perfect families, or always on the go and up for anything, or always painting and coloring and baking and doing crafty things with their kids - when REALLY they maybe only do that once a week and they chose that particular day to post. You know what I mean?

For example, I didn't write about Kaden and I hurling our cookies all day on Monday because I thought I'd spare people the juicy details. Nor did I write about how we all sat around in our p.j.'s and watched t.v. ALL day the next day because I didn't want people to judge me! :0) And there are other days where all I did was laundry, dishes, and made supper. Nothing to get up in the night and rave about - let alone post about. You get my drift?

So, I am going to try to find the balance of being totally real and "in the moment" about everything and anything and have my blog really and truly portray who I am, but also spare the oh so many boring details of our lives, as well...which happens more often than not!

Thus endeth my rambly post! Happy Thursday, everyone!

Okaaaaay........Want to Play a Game?

I just got off of the phone with a friend who shall remain anonymous, but I just want you to know - dear friend - that this one is for you! You are the second person in the span of a few weeks here who has commented on the "peppy-ness" of my blog and, I believe the question of: "How come you are always so happy?" also came about in said conversation a few times.

I scan a few blogs where all that I read is perpetual sunshine and rainbows and butterflies and to be quite frank - I find them sickening, and they drive me absolutely CRAZY! Whenever I read these blogs, I feel like gagging from the oh so perfect gloriousness of these people's lives, and they by no means encourage me or brighten my day in ANY shape of the imagination...and I find it hard to believe that nothing EVER goes wrong in their lives and that they don't ever struggle.

Sooooo, if my blog is one of those kinds of blogs - by all means - shoot me right now! Generally - I really do love my life, and I am a happy person, overall - but BY NO MEANS am I sunshine and butterflies all day every day. It has never been my intention to come across this way in my writing. In fact, I have been trying to be more intentional about writing about ALL things in my life - the good, the bad, AND the ugly.

I know that we all struggle with things - some of us are just better at hiding these things than others, and it's super hard to be vulnerable...especially with people who seem to have life all together and tied up in a pretty bow all the time. I don't want to be one of those people. If I have done that, I am going to clear up a few things right now. Settle in, because this post is a long one. But, I just want to share a small sampling - a tiny tidbit - of the things that I am currently struggling with and, by God's grace, working through.

I'll call it - Amy's Top Ten Current Things of Yuck, and I'm just going to lay it all out there - no excuses, no nothing.

1. I think about my personal appearance more than I should. Since we've moved home I've gained ten pounds. Not sure how or when it happened, but it's somewhat all consuming and frustrating to me; and it's all I can seem to think about.

2. Whenever I go to certain friend's homes and see their creativity or things that I want or their lack of toys and stuff everywhere or their Suzy Homemaker abilities, I have to constantly fight the urge to not be ungrateful and to not covet. Kev can tell when I've been visiting them just by my attitude - I can become a completely different person and all of a sudden hate my home and all things in it instantly!

3. Kaden did not have a stellar Christmas in the "thankfulness department." This entire holiday I had to constantly remind him to thank the gift giver, to not compare what he got to others, to be happy with what he was given, and to actually LOOK at the present before tossing it to the side. Many moments of feeling like a failure here and of being embarassed......and not necessarily for the right reasons, either. I wanted him to act appropriately, so that people would see what a great kid he is.....so that in turn - they would think what a great mom I am.

4. I like the spotlight. I like accolades. When someone else gets them instead of me, I get jealous. (Nice, eh?)

5. There are MANY days (and often many moments within said days) where I could bonk my kids' heads together and promptly throw them out the window! In the four years that I have been a mother, I have never cried more in my life or felt more lonely or like a failure in EVERY area of my life. Half of the time I don't have a clue what I'm doing, I don't feel like I'm doing a good job, and I feel like everyone around has "it" completely together and never struggles with ANYTHING!

6. I am a people pleaser. I worry far more about what people think of me and my home and my mothering and my family and my LIFE than of what THE LORD thinks of any of those things.

7. Kaden and I are very different in our personalities. He is shy and timid and slower than death on stilts, and he needs things explained to the 9th degree......and I am not. I have to constantly reign myself in from constantly being short with him just because he handles life differently than me! I want to let him be HIM, but sometimes it's hard! And Jesse has me eating humble pie every day - he has had phases of biting, hitting, screaming, throwing, and all said things put together at once....and often in public!

8. Sometimes I crave "life before kids." I enjoyed working, I loved my independence, and I loved my home neat, sparse, and organized! In the darkest depths within me lies a career woman who could potentially leave my family in the dust for the lure of the spotlight and "things of importance" that can be measured by the world's standards. I know in my heart of hearts that what I am doing is of utmost importance in the Lord's eyes and that it is my highest calling, and MOST often I really am living my dream in being able to stay home with them....but there are days....just so you know.

9. I compare, compare, compare. And I don't compare myself to the Lord's standards, but I compare myself to everyone around me. When I look at myself through the lens of other's lives I see that I don't play enough with my children, I'm not creative enough with them, I shouldn't be so excited for naptimes, I'm not structured enough....or maybe I'm too structured, I enjoy being away from them more than I should....or maybe I'm too protective and don't leave them enough, I worry too much about the neatness of my home, I need to have a huge family if I'm a good Christian, don't I?, homeschool or regular school....and on and on and on. I could go crazy if I let myself.

10. Up until just last month, my quiet time with the Lord ROTTED, and was sporatic at best. I am just getting back into the routine that I think He is pleased with along with the right motivation behind WHY I am having my quiet time. And the reason why (I am reminded afresh and anew - almost every day it seems -) is that I desperately need Him and His wisdom and grace. I am a hopeless failure without Him!

So, there you have it. Real pretty, eh?

Did that encourage anyone?
Can anyone else relate?......Anyone else want to play?

Happy New Year!

Hubby is sleeping in this morning, the boys are dancing around in their new matching p.j.'s, and I'm snagging a few minutes on this new morning in the new year to write a bit. When I was writing our Christmas letter, I was once again struck by just how much can happen in the span of one little year. I find the saying, "the days are long, but the years are fleeting," to be especially true when I look back over the span of a few months!

In 2008 we were living in Philly, we were students, our baby had surgery, somehow he became a toddler, somehow Kaden turned four, we celebrated nine years of marriage, we graduated, we moved back to our roots, we lived in two different places, Kev got a new job, we have a new church, and now.... we're in a new year! Insane.

I wonder what 2009 will hold for us?

Life is such a crazy adventure, and I like to hope that I'm up for anything. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us. Another baby? (Nothing to report. I just don't feel that our family is complete as of yet). Another move? (Oh Lord. That might not be my favorite right now! I'd be content to stay here for a few more months, at least). Homeschooling or Christian School? (If we go the Christian School route - we need to decide Kindergarten at five or Kindergarten at six? We're pretty sure we're going to wait until he's six. We're just really praying about the "where" and the "what" right now). Yikes. And who knows what else will take place?

As my kids grow, I am often floored and overwhelmed at the responsibility that I have before me, I get almost panicky at how fast time seems to be flying, I feel filled to overflowing with love and thankfulness at the gift that I have been given in them, and I feel completely inadequate, often frazzled, very blessed, and most generally happy and content! It's a good life, and it's been a good year.

A P.J. Day

Quite often in the Booker household, we have a p.j. day where we just hunker down and the kids stay in their pajamas all day long. Kaden would live in his p.j.'s if I let him, so he always gets quite excited when I announce that no other clothes will need to be worn for the rest of the day!

Today was one of those days. Jesse has had a yucky cold for about a week, so we didn't go out and about or have any friends with wee ones over. I always feel bad if my kids are the cause of another's sickness, so we gave up all plans for the day. It actually turned out to be quite cozy. Grampy and Grammy came over for an impromptu lunch - unafraid of colds - and had a few hours of fun playtime with the boys checking out all of their new Christmas prizes. This broke up the day very nicely and helped me not to go too stir crazy, as well.

They are running rather wild now, chasing each other all over the place. Jesse is in his boots over his p.j.s - per his request, and we're just counting down the minutes until Daddy gets home. This is his long day, so it is tradition for the boys and I to just have cereal for supper on these nights. A meal we all think is quite fun (and oh so easy for Mommy!) And then when Daddy gets home, the lights are going to be OUT, and we are all going to be hiding in the bathtub....waiting for a kickin' game of Hide and Seek!

Let the games begin, Daddy! You're going down!

Until we get a phone call from the Lobby telling us to keep it down........

Merry Christmas!

We're heading up to my peeps this afternoon after the kidlets' nappy-doos....also known as the "Land of Dial-up," so I'll be signing off for a few days. May you have a wonderful CHRIST-mas celebrating Jesus with your loved ones!

This may be our first and last Christmas for awhile with my whole, entire family together, so we are going to savor it. My wee bro is moving to Texas for a year or so to do some Border Patrol training, so he may not be here next year. And my Sis-in-Law goes to her family in Virginia for Christmas every other year....but this Christmas we are together - all of us.

So, it shall be festive and joyous. Days filled with yummies, games, sliding, movies, visits, tea, and friends and family from near and far. Oh, and let's not forget the family Christmas photo that has become tradition....where everyone's sole purpose seems to be to try and be an irritant to poor Marmie! Good times, good times! Honest to goodness, I think our family could make the big bucks in having our own reality T.V. show. Gotta' see it to believe it! It's true, and I love it!

Merry Christmas!!!

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree....

Why did you die on MEEEeeeee?!

Seriously. Not really sure what happened here, folks, but our tree has suddenly turned completely brown and when touched it immediately drops all of its needles! This has never happened to us before....Hmmmmm. Maybe it hates us.

I'm thinking it's because we didn't trim a little more off the base once we brought it inside after cutting it down. There have been previous years where we have forgotten to do this, and it has kind of stopped drinking its water, but it has never just up and kicked the bucket like it did this year! Because we live in a hotel, it's super hard to regulate our heat up here, too. So, that may also be an issue. Or maybe Jesse has been feeding it some sort of special snackies? Who knows?

Whatever the reason, she came down this morning during Jesse's nap. I prepped Kaden to see if he was going to be devastated, but he was totally fine. Besides, we're off to Grampy & Grammy's house tomorrow, anyway, so it's not a huge deal. I'm just glad we celebrated our family Christmas last week!

Our Family Christmas Letter!

I had this letter already written before I decided to save us a bit of moolah on postage. So, here you have it bloggy style this year.

Sorry for the excessive verbage. It fit nicely on one sheet of cute Christmas paper, and it was originally intended for people who don't read this blog - and who therefore don't already know all of these details! Feel free to skim......

Dear Friends and Family ~

I am always amazed at how quickly the months fly by, and I can hardly believe that we have already entered another Christmas season! If there was one word that could describe the Booker’s lives these past twelve months it would be: WHIRLWIND. It has been a wild ride this year ~ one in which we feel we have hardly had time to catch our breath. Yet, it has also been an adventure and a year of trusting the Lord like never before; and for that we are grateful.

At the end of the summer, Kevin finished his final graduate class at Philadelphia Biblical University, and our chapter of being students in “the big city” came to a close. Kev graduated this month with a Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership and two Bachelor’s degrees - one in Business and another in Bible. We will be forever thankful for those three years in Pennsylvania, and we have made some lifelong friends who must now come and visit us up in “God’s Country!” :0)

Upon completion of his studies, Kev candidated and accepted the positions of Pastor of Family Ministries and Worship Leader at Calvary Baptist Church in Brewer, Maine, and we moved our little family back home to our “roots.” We are enjoying getting to know our new church family, and it has been wonderful making new friends and also reacquainting with so many old and dear.

Even though we are “home,” it has taken us some time to fully adjust as we made two different moves within two months and also experienced several weeks of some sort of sickness that none of us seemed able to shake. To add to the excitement, I crashed our “new to us” car just a couple of weeks after purchasing it, and as soon as we got it fixed, our other car promptly bit the dust! Joy unspeakable! We feel as though we are finally settling in now, though, and we are starting to experience the new “norm” of life for our family. We have a roomy, two bedroom apartment located in a Christian owned and operated hotel with café that is just a mile down the road from the church. The kids love being able to share a room together, and we often hear them giggling long after we have tucked them into bed for the night!

Kaden is now 4 ½ years old and seems to be growing up so quickly that I am afraid to blink. He is still obsessed with bugs and creepy crawlies of all kinds, and all summer long we had a plethora of tadpoles, beetles, worms, frogs, and salamanders living with us! We had a great time hatching frogs from tadpoles, beetles from wax worms, and moths from caterpillars; and we daily go on all sorts of adventures to try and find new “pets”. Kaden collects the “treasures,” and Jesse “loves” them to death! It is most definitely a boys’ world here! Kaden also loves books and music, painting, playing with his new friends, and all things outdoors. His silly sense of humor continually keeps us in stitches with Jesse as his biggest fan! Kaden is a wonderful big brother, and his sweet, tender spirit is a constant delight to us.

Jesse is now 1 ½, and I honestly have no idea where our baby went. This past winter we had a horrible scare when he grabbed hold of my hot curling iron and was unable to let go. We went through weeks of tending deeply burned hands which ultimately ended in skin grafts and a cast for his first birthday. This was truly the most traumatic thing that we have ever been through as parents, yet I fear that it is only the beginning with this one! Jesse is curious and fearless, and that combination is terrifying! It is a rare week that goes by where he does not have some sort of bruise, bump, or black eye from one of his tumbles. We like to call him our “wild child,” yet he also has a tender little heart and a hysterical sense of humor that redeems his oh-so-strong will. He is definitely the life of our party!

I am still living my dream in being able to stay home with my boys. I feel blessed to be near both sets of parents and so many wonderful friends who are in the same stage of life as I. A parent of children who are now grown and gone reminded us just weeks ago that we are truly in the greatest season of our lives right now. The days may be crazy and full of chaos, and we may wonder if we’ll ever get a complete night’s rest again, but they are also very full of life and love; and we would have it no other way!

Our hearts are full this Christmas as our home is filled with laughter and silliness, the pitter patter of
little feet, and the craziness of life. Merry Christmas to all of you! May you have a blessed
Holiday season celebrating with your loved ones.

Much love!

Amy and the Boys ~ Kevin, Kaden, and Jesse

December 2008

“For unto you is born this day, in the City of David,
a Savior who is Christ the Lord.” ~ Luke 2:11

Since it's Christmas for Us.....

Two in one day, I know.....but I just came across this and needed to share it. A reminder of how blessed we are in this moment and of the gifts we have in our children who are on loan to us. Snuggle your babies. Hug them tight. Savor. Drink them in........

An excerpt from Mary Beth Chapman's Christmas letter:

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"The last several days, my mind has not been able to stop thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Pregnant and scared, knowing that the baby she was carrying eventually would pay the ultimate price of His life. How would I have lived differently if I knew that my time with Maria was going to be this short? Regretfully, I would have lived much differently. I would have purposely hugged and kissed more. I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles. I would have colored more and worked less. I would have laughed more and fussed less. Bedtime wouldn’t have become a chore to check off the list of things to get done. Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed. The swimming pool wouldn’t have been too cold to swim in. The flowers in the garden would have all been picked, and definitely more ice cream would have been consumed!

I wonder what it was like for Mary after her son’s death. I know she saw him resurrected and was certain of the fact that she would she him again, but she was still his mom. Mary found favor with God; therefore she was chosen to be Jesus’ mom. But because God favored Mary, she was also chosen to suffer. Not just at the crucifixion, but her whole life. She was chosen to carry a baby in her womb, be persecuted and give birth in a dirty stable. Most of the time at Christmas we end the story there…. in the stable, with Mary, Joseph and Jesus receiving their company. Wise men, shepherds, and angels - you get the picture in your head right? The star, the animals, the Nativity! What about the rest of it? Mary, mothering the Son of God! She was human, she had a baby, and she raised that baby with the heaviness that she was to see him suffer and thus she too would suffer. I think when Mary was hiding things in her heart; it was a lot more than the reality of whom she carried in her womb. I am certain that she was hiding away the memories of first smiles and steps, as well as the first tears and tumbles. Knowing what was to come, did Mary have the opportunity to live differently as a mom to her little boy? I believe she did. I am sure that she watched him differently, taught him differently, and prayed differently. I can only imagine the discussions that she and Joseph would have when their son wasn’t listening, how they probably begged God to let the cup pass from them, but in the end yielding up the prayer we all hesitate to pray when it comes to our children…. Your will be done. UGGHH!!!! I don’t want to. I didn’t want to on May 21st, and I still don’t want to now. Yet somehow we did, and somehow we will continue to. I am reminded more than ever this Christmas, that it doesn’t end at the Nativity in Bethlehem in a cozy manger… it is a journey all the way to the cross on the hill in Golgotha on Good Friday."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Christmas With My Boys....

It's been Kev's and my tradition ever since we got married nine years ago to have our own little family traditions outside of the regular celebrating with both of our families. We LOVE the festivities that go along with Christmas with my side of the family and New Years with his, but we have always wanted to have our own "just us" time together, as well. So, since our very first Christmas together, we have usually taken the weekend before Christmas for our own little Booker Festivus!

Henceforth......yesterday was our Christmas Eve day and night, and all day today it has been Christmas with our little family!!! And have we EVER celebrated! And I tell ya, it just gets more and more fun as our family grows, and as the kids get a little older with each passing year.

Yesterday we went sliding in the afternoon before naptime. We thought it was awesome how we had the whole hill to ourselves....and then once we stepped out of the car, we realized why. It was BLASTED cold! But, we stayed warm by huffing and puffing up the hill - often lugging a child in our arms. As predicted, Jesse is an adrenaline junkie and absolutely loved being indoctrinated into the art of sledding! We had pizza for supper - a family favorite, opened a couple of stocking stuffers each, and topped the evening off with watching A Charlie Brown Christmas!

This morning, after making coffee together and twiddling our thumbs for awhile, Jesse and I woke the other two sleeping beauties so that we could carry on our festivities. We read the Christmas story out of Kaden's kids' Bible - (many more pictures than Mommy & Daddy's)! Then we all sat on the floor together and held hands and prayed together and talked about why we give each other gifts. Very neat. After this, we opened just a couple of gifts and then made breakfast while the boys played, and then we opened a few more after breakfast. I'm very much into letting the kids "savor" the gifts as they come and not have them just tear through them like a couple of crazies. We took our time all throughout the morning and right up until lunch just playing together and enjoying each other. It was so nice!

They are napping away now - with visions of Sugar Plums dancing in their heads, I am sure. And when they awaken, we are going to a Live Nativity with free hot chocolate afterwards! Delish. Grampy and Grammy are going to stop by for a visit this evening, we are going to make a gingerbread house together, and we may even watch another Christmas movie!

A wonderful day, indeed!

All Hail the Chief!

As of this weekend, Kev has been affectionately dubbed "Master Pastor!" I must admit - it is not his most favorite of pet names that I have given him, but it does roll off the tongue quite smoothly!

We had a glorious weekend reconnecting with Philly friends and attending all sorts of banquets and awards ceremonies. Graduation was on Saturday, and then we visited our church family for the day on Sunday. Kevy was asked to speak at a banquet, he won an award, and he graduated with Honors and three degrees - so we are all very proud of him! It was really a pretty special closure to the end of our three years in Pennsylvania. Amidst two part-time jobs and almost every semester him taking extra classes on top of the normal load, our family never once suffered or got put on the back burner. Somehow, (by God's grace, I know) he always managed to keep us priority while also getting our bills paid and papers turned in on time! Pretty awesome.

And now, what should be the final day of our adventure - an eleven hour road trip home to my JESSE (who I am CRAVING!!!!!).....we are finding ourselves camped out at a Holiday Inn in Connecticut after five hours of driving and Kev coming down with a sudden onslaught of the flu. Luckily we had a trash bag close by, and I was taking a turn at the wheel when El Nino rushed forth from the depths! I'd like to hope that he just ate something bad, but I'm pretty certain that he has the good old fashioned flu with body aches and all. Poor so so sick Hubby.

Soooo, while he sleeps and takes hot baths and gets drugged out with flu meds, Kaden and I are doing our best to suffer for the cause. We had a little date in the restaurant downstairs, we hit a couple of shops, we're playing games and reading stories, and after our naps we're going for a dip in the pool! Rough, it's oh so rough......but what is one to do?!

Updates....

Our computer has been on the fritz for days, so I have been unable to update. We are in Pennsylvania as I type - we travelled for 11 hours in the yucky, pouring rain - but we are here! Kev officially graduates from his Master's program this Saturday, so we are here to celebrate and see our Philly friends and church family.

I have left my Jesse with Mom and Dad for this trip, and it has been a little weird! We have never been away from each other for more than a few hours, but Mom is keeping me posted and says that he's having a blast! It's been kind of fun having a special time with just Kaden, but I am definitely feeling that our family is incomplete! Although the trip was VERY peaceful and I know that I'll be able to sleep in these next few days without my "Jesse alarm" going off before 6:00 a.m., I feel slightly unsettled, and I am missing those little chubby cheeks like CRAZY!!!

We are potentially sleeping at three different people's places, naps will be all over the place, and there are meetings and banquets galore, so I know that he will be having a much better time with Grammy. It's just a wee bit weird. And during times like this, I realize that we really need to get on the ball and get our WILL figured out. Morbid thoughts, but should something happen.....no plan is in the works. Scary..... Okay, not thinking about that anymore....until we get home, and then a plan WILL be made. Pronto.

And on that cheery note, I am off to hit the hay. It's amazing that after sitting on my rear for eleven hours and doing absolutely nothing but dozing and eating, I am completely pooped!

Baking! Baking! Baking!

Yesterday, the boys and I spent ALL day in the kitchen baking and cooking and decorating.....and it was SO MUCH FUN! Surprisingly!

I was gearing myself up for some large amounts of stress and mess and gritting my teeth while flour and sugar flew everywhere. But, it was actually pretty awesome, and the three of us had a ball!

The kids each pulled a chair up to the bar, I gave them both a wooden spoon for stirring, they each got their own cookie and little dish of frosting with a knife, and we baked and frosted for hours!

We had such a special time and so many cool conversations. I told Kaden that we would be able to eat a few of these treats but most of them would be going as gifts to others. He said: "I love sharing things, Mommy! I love giving presents to people!" We talked about the reason behind giving gifts to people at this time of year - because God gave us the greatest gift of us in sending us His Son, Jesus. And Kaden said: "Yeah. And he gave us an even bigger gift when he died on the cross for us, too. Right?"

It was just such a cool time. And I almost didn't do it. I had planned to do all of the "messy" stuff during their naps to avoid getting my kitchen all sticky and yuck. Had I stuck with my original plan in being more worried about my floors and the potential mess, I would have missed out on some awesome moments with my boys and some really cool Christmas memories.

I'm learning.

Dates With Daddy

At Bagel Central yesterday....

DADDY: Are we always going to do this - even when you're older?
KADEN: Yup. We'll do this even when I'm a big man!
DADDY: YEAH! High five! Buddy's forever.
KADEN: We'll be buddies until I die!

Priceless.....
That's the idea, Sweetheart. That's the idea.

Keeping it Simple

Kev and I sat down and had a serious chat about money the other morning and have come to the conclusion that this Christmas is going to need to be paired down in an extreme way. In the past few months we: moved, crashed our car, and graduated from college. So, needless to say, we are the poorest we have ever been!

On the one hand, this kind of stresses me and even makes me a little sad, because I really really really love to give, and I really really really love to cook, and there are also a few traditions (like sending cards and family photos) that I really love to do....but all those things cost money!

However, on the other hand, I HATE excessiveness, I despise shopping, I don't like stressing about money, and I thrive on simplicity. Soooo, whether we want to or not - this time, we have no choice in the matter - Christmas is going to be very simple this year. And the more that I come to accept this fact, the more I am beginning to embrace it!

We are going to forego the "Family Christmas Letter" along with the family photo. (Be still, my soul! This part of the plan I am reluctantly giving up). However, when thought about realistically, everyone will chuck the letter and picture within a couple of weeks if not sooner, anyway! And seriously, the people who really care about all the boring things that go on in our lives read our blog or check facebook or talk to us on the phone or see us face to face anyway! I'll instead write a little bloggy version of our Christmas letter perhaps, and post it just a bit before Christmas.

We are also going to only get each other one present. For the kids, we're going to give them stocking stuffers, one gift apiece, and one gift to share. Good heavens - that's totally sufficient in my mind, anyway! By the time Grampy's, Grammy's, Aunties, and Uncles all hand out their gifts, we'll still be dealing with the glazed eyes of overload. I'm sure of it. And I have many married friends who don't even get anything for each other, either. So, it's not like anyone is going to be suffering!

I want to be more intentional and focus better on what Christmas is truly about - especially with our children getting older. I want to do more of the simple things with them each day in the time leading up to Christmas, also - like decorating cookies together, reading and relaxing by the tree, doing little crafts, savoring the magic, having people over etc., - simple things! - as opposed to constantly fighting the crowds and stressing over how far to stretch the budget. I want Kaden & Jesse to see us living out what we are trying to teach them: It's better to give than to receive, it doesn't matter how small your gift is as long as you give it out of a heart of love, and it's not "stuff" that's supposed to make us happy, anyway! That is NOT what Christmas is all about!

When, just by sheer necessity, excessiveness is weeded out of our lives - at least for me - a burden is almost lifted - and I'm able to relax again and just focus on what I'm supposed to be thinking about anyway.

Gifts will still be given....but with more creativity and thought put into them. Packages will still be unwrapped....but they'll be savored more as there will just be a few. Bills will get paid. Wisdom will be exercised. Stress will go down! And above all, Christ will be better celebrated, more intentionally talked about, read about, and sung about - and perhaps even more so now, because after all - He truly is the reason for this season!

Let the Wild Rumpus Begin!

We got our Christmas tree yesterday amidst the drizzle. I looked online at the forecast prediction for the day and saw that it was only a 3% chance of rain....hmmm.... She surely did rain, but that did not spoil our fun one iota.

Up until we moved to Philly, we always went to a rockin place called Piper Mountain to get our tree, and I have craved going back ever since. So, yesterday - three years later - we were finally reunited with our most fave Christmas tree spot EVER. And having kids just makes it that much better. We took our hefty little saw and chose and chopped our very own tree. Then we meandered over to the little gift shop while the tree was being wrapped for us and got some free apple cider and homemade donuts. And then, to top the trip off, we went on a little horse and buggy hayride all around their tree property which the boys absolutely loved. So so so much fun.

And the drive there and back was beautiful, and we got some winterberries on the way home, and now our place looks super festive, and so far...knock on wood....Jesse hasn't done a whole lot of damage to this new "decoration" in our home! When we first brought it in, he kept on screaming at it and dancing all around. And he likes to keep "trimming" it by shoving whatever toy he's playing with deep into the branches, but as of this afternoon anyway, it seems to have lost it's newness factor for home. The last thing that he shoved into the branches was an empty oatmeal container last night! So, hopefully, the tree shall stay standing until Christmas.

Thankful

Sitting in my p.j.'s.
Listening to Daddy and his two little helpers make coffee.
Christmas music playing in the background.
Revving up for a fun family day of getting and decorating our Christmas tree.
An awesome family day and feast with Kev's family yesterday.
A cozy, long apartment where the kids can ride their bikes from one end to the other.
Wonderful friends both near and far.
Two amazing little boys.
My best friend and soul mate of a husband.
A loving Savior who gives above and beyond all I could ever ask or imagine.
Thankful EVERY day......

Merciful Heavens!!!

Holy dyin'!!!!

Blessings upon us all - the internet access here is not the greatest, to say the VERY least. I have felt absolutely cut off from the world these past weeks, I must say. For some miraculous reason, we have connection today, but there are no guarantees for tomorrow, so I shall blog and email away with abandon! I also need to get our Christmas picture card together; otherwise, at the rate that we're going here, it's going to be a Happy New Year card!

This past weekend, our little fam kicked it up to the County to celebrate an early Thanksgiving with my parents and brothers. We had our first snow while we were up there which was tons of fun! We drove up late on Thursday after Kev's meeting at church, so we didn't arrive until Midnight, and we left late afternoon on Saturday - so it was a whirlwind visit, but still very nice and lovely.

We all went on a group four-wheeler in the FREEZING cold, we ate lots of yummies, the boys went hunting, and we just had a really great time vegging with family. Loved it. And we shall do it all over again on Thursday with Kev's little fam. Glorious!

I think we're going to be getting our Christmas tree this weekend, even though I feel like it's a little early to be doing so. The Holidays sneak up so quickly, and I just want to lengthen and savor them as much as possible, so methinks we shall do it on our family day this Friday. (This may also prove to be a very large headache with whirling dervish child who will probably attempt to climb said tree a kajillion times a day. I may wish we had opted for a fake table trop tree....but where is the fun in that?)

In a couple of weeks we are heading back to Philly for a five day trip (2 days of driving) for Kev's graduation. We have actually decided to leave Jesse with my parents as the weekend is going to be crazy with events, two very long drives back to back, and nights spent at several different places. I think it's a good decision that we made, but it will be the longest that I've ever left him....in fact, I don't think that I have EVER left him overnight, so I'm feeling kind of weird about it. He's quite the Mama's boy, but he absolutely loves Mom, and she gives him undivided attention which he loves, so I think he'll do okay. OH man - it's just going to be weird; I'm going to miss him like CRAZY! On the other hand, I'm also excited for some extended time alone with Kaden. Being older does come with its privileges!

So, that's all for now, I guess. Lots of covert Christmas ideas and shopping going on, fun things to make with the kidlets, and special memories to be made.

In case I can't get online forever again - Happy Thanksgiving! And while I'm at it -just in case - Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day, Easter, St. Patty's Day, May Day, Happy 4th, Merry Summer......you get it......

Thinking, thinking, thinking.....

Sometimes my wee little pea brain just starts to go crazy with ideas and thoughts on life and parenting and being purposeful and intentional and "Am I doing a good job?" thoughts and "Am I doing enough?" questions and etc. etc. etc....

As of late, I am having lots of serious thoughts and ponderings mostly about this whole crazy responsibility of parenting my boys. I am this weird mix of one part of me wanting to be loosy-goosy, let's-just-have-fun and not be too serious and then the other part of me thinking that maybe-I-should-be-way-more-purposeful-and-intentional-in-ALL-that-I-am-doing with the kids. Kind of like how I was in school. I didn't take a lot of life too seriously and always wanted to be where the action was, yet I was super anal retentive when it came to my classes and my studies, and I demanded perfection from myself when it came to my grades. Kind of a weird combo.

I think that's what is playing out in my thoughts as of late. Sometimes I honestly, seriously toy with the idea of homeschooling my kids. I love the philosophy behind it and I stand by it; yet, this is something that I never in a million years dreamed that I would EVER want to do. I'm not sure if I could even stay structured enough to ensure that my kids were educated properly! Yet, as the time gets closer for Kaden to go to school, I'm not loving the idea of other people getting him for more hours of the day - actually his BEST hours of the day - than I do. I still have time, so I continue to process....

On a smaller scale, today I was reading Kaden some books from the library - just some fun and silly books - and then I got to wondering if I should just be reading him only Christian books, and "maybe I shouldn't read him the Polar Express because it's about Santa and we don't really do Santa in our family." And maybe while Jesse is sleeping we should be doing something that is educational. And I probably should have given him some carrot sticks for a snack instead of that handful of swedish fish. And what about this? Or how about that?

I guess the bottom line is balance. It is so easy to be influenced by other people and by things that I read or by things that others do. It's so easy to compare and judge and feel insecure and get all stressed! I think that an even true-er bottom line is doing what is right for your own family! What Kev and I may choose to do in our relationship and with our children may never work for yours and may not even be good for yours! No matter how big or how small something may be. There's freedom in that, eh?

My friend has a quote on her fridge that says: "Comparison destroys contentment." Man - so so true. Especially for women - I think that is something that many of us struggle with. I know that I do! But when I just let go of my insecurities and give them to the Lord - trusting that He will show me what He wants to do with my family and with my life - then I can rest, and I can just live and LOVE my boys.

And in living and loving and trusting my Savior for His wisdom and grace - I really do end up being intentional and purposeful in my mothering. That kind of takes the stress out of my ponderings. It also takes the comparing factor away, as well; because then my eyes are fixed on the Author and finisher of my faith rather than on other people and circumstances and such. He alone I desire to honor and He alone I desire to please. And as a result of looking to Him alone, it also takes the legalism factor out of life, which I really really love. Grace and truth, Baby.

Wow - rambly, I know. I kind of just went all around Robin Hood's barn, as my Mother likes to say. Maybe it didn't make sense to any of you, but it makes good sense to me. Enough of this seriousness for one Saturday. I need to go find my Kaden and eat a handful of M&M's with him while reading something mindless and perfectly silly......

A happy, rainy Saturday to you, my friends!

The Power of a Praying Mommy

This was not my idea, but oh how I wish it was.

I love this lady's blog. She has been through much heartache and loss, yet her love for Christ and for her family is so vibrant.....so how I want mine to be.

Anyway, she is challenging herself - and in the process me - ......who now wants to challange YOU....so that we can challenge each other....:0)....to intentionally pray for our children each day about specific things. She is a far more eloquent writer than I, so here is what she has to say about her idea.....

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I don't sit around and pray that my girls will learn to read today, or that they will understand a foreign language by the time they are 6, or that they will know their times table by next week. I do spend a lot of time asking God to give them "undivided hearts (Psalm 86:11), " and praying "that they will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel when they open their mouths (Ephesians 6:19)." I pray that God will help them to be good stewards of their time, their money, their words. I pray for their character, their faith, their decisions, their husbands. I want them to be wise, Godly women who chase after the Lord.

I'm thinking that instead of getting a "My kid is on the honor roll" bumper sticker, I may create a "My kid has an undivided heart" one. And then people will make ones that say "My kid kicked your 'undivided heart' kid's butt" stickers.

Maybe not.

But, the point is that one of the most important things I am privileged to do as a mother is to pray for my children every day.

The other day I came across a verse that God used to prompt me to write this post. If you are a mom (or have someone else you want to pray for specifically), I hope you will join me as I do this for the next 7 days. It struck me that I need reminders during the day to be praying over my girls, and I decided to choose 7 events in a day that would remind me to do so. Then, I chose verses that had to do with that time of the day (for example: as my kids are getting dressed in the morning) and then I put them on notecards.

Here are the events and verses I chose:

1. When they wake up: "Let the morning bring (child's name) word of your unfailing love, for she has put her trust in You. Show (her/him) the way (she/he) should go, for to you (he/she) lifts up her soul." (Adapted from Psalm 143:8)

2. When they are getting dressed: "Therefore, as God's chosen child, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Lord, help (him/her) bear with others and forgive whatever grievances (he/she) has against others. Help (him/her) forgive as the Lord forgave (him/her). And over all these virtues, help (him/her) put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Adapted from Colossians 3:12-14)

3. While they are eating: "Teach (child's name) the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Teach (him/her) that (he/she) can do everything through him who gives (him/her) strength." (Adapted from Philippians 4:12-13)

4. When they go out of the house: "(Name of child), do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Adapted from Romans 12:2)

5. While they are taking a bath: Lord, give (name of child) clean hands and a pure heart, and let (him/her) not lift (his/her) soul to an idol or swear by what is false. Let (him/her) receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God (his/her) Savior. Let (him/her) be part of the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. (Adapted from Psalm 24:4-6)

6. When they are going to bed: "The Lord Your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, be will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

7. While they are sleeping: "I pray that (name of child) will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that he/she may become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which he/she shines like a star in the universe as he/she holds out the word of life-in order that he/she may boast on the day of Christ that he/she did not run or labor for nothing." (Adapted from Philippians 2:14-16)


I feel like God has been reminding me more and more lately that I need to live my life in prayer. For my children, husband, family, friends, country, those in need, etc., etc. As a mother, it has been so pivotal for my children to hear me praying out loud over them, and I want to commit to do this every day (seven times a day!) for the next week.

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Wow, eh?

What a privilege we have! What a responsibility......

Love it. LOVE it.

So.......do you want to play?

A Week in the Life of Me....

Contact with the outside world has been a wee bit interesting these past few days. I don't have the computer during the day as Kev takes the laptop to work. This is going to be changing soon, as I feel that I have lost all connection with what is going on outside these walls, but regardless - even when I have had my opportunities to get online, the service at our hotel has been very sporatic. Today is a good day, so I shall blog at will with no guarantees of when I will be back!

Nothing overly amazing to report. I'm starting to get geared up for the Christmas season. Doing a little shopping and a little planning for what we're going to do with our family. Kaden is at the age where he is totally involved and where he will start to remember what we do for family traditions, so I'm trying to be really purposeful and intentional in the things that we are going to do. We've already made cookies together, and I'm just excited about savoring the little things and doing all kinds of fun cooking and crafting and reading and playing.

Kev and I were able to go on a really nice date a couple of days ago. It was just so nice to be able to really connect and catch up with each other's lives. It's so easy for one day to turn into a week before really sitting down and seeing what's going on in each other's hearts and minds. We had some yummy Mexican food, some great conversation, and THEN we were able to sneak over to see our new little "neice,".....another potential bride for one of my boys.....(right, Scott?) Sweet Kirsten Jael...a truly beautiful little daughter of some sweet friends of ours.

Let's see.....also in this week, Jesse managed to get quite the nice shiner from falling into the corner of a table, and I managed to run over Kaden's fingers with a grocery cart while shopping that very same day. Many tears and drama were involved on that day! A somewhat typical day in the life of us, I guess.....

I was able to have some nice visits with some friends and their babes this week...more to come this next week, as well. I always love that. We also went to a day long conference with the deacons and wives from our church yesterday. Although I'm not much of a fan for giving up my Saturdays, I really did enjoy getting to know these couples a lot better. We actually had quite the hoot together during a good part of the day. Kev told me that I was quite "boisterous.".......uh-oh. They all saw the real me, I guess!

We have started a new family tradition where every Friday night the boys put on their p.j.'s and we go downstairs to the little Christian cafe. We eat a pizza and listen to whatever live band is playing, and then the kids run around a little until bedtime. It's quite nice, really! Both kids love music, and it's really fun being so close to whoever is playing on the stage. This past Friday, we also acquired a new pet - a little lone fish that was struggling in an aquarium down there with no one to love him. Kaden and I took pity on him, so now we are fishy sitting him back to health. He's quite cute, and both boys are thrilled with our new addition. I have to keep Jesse from giving him hugs and squeezes. Instead, he just points and screams to his heart's content! Good times!

And the name of our new pet? "Fish Bowl." Classic.

So...yup. That sums up our week in a nutshell. I hope all of you are doing well. Happy Sunday to you!

A Week-end in the County

And we're doing this Dial-up style.....my the patience that has been required of me to wait for this one little page to open up for me to type upon. In the time it has taken for this glorious computer to dial up, I have managed to: run a bath for my kids, read an entire story to Kaden, do all of the supper dishes, and wash an entire load of laundry.

Just kidding......kind of...

Anyhoo, my wee bairns and I kicked it up to the County for a few days to see my little family. I haven't been up north (Canada, as Peter likes to refer to my homeland) since we've arrived back in Maine, so we were all more than a little excited for this trip.

While Hubbito has been the mighty white hunter this weekend, I have partaken in all sorts of wondrous country activities that my soul has craved for many a month. Dad and I went for a long four-wheeler ride all bundled up in whatever clothes we could find and went looking for a bunch of moose that he had found in some field the other day, we have raked mountains of leaves and jumped into them, we picked apples from Mom's winter apple tree and I'm going to make oodles of yummy applesauce when I get back, we carved a pumpkin, I've had splendid visits with my cousins and my big bro, Mom has let me sleep in EVERY morning - glory to God in the Highest!, we've cooked and decorated fall and Christmas cookies, we've had tea parties, I don't think I've been hungry once this entire week-end because I have never stopped eating, and Mom and I have had movie nights every night after the rest of the house has hit the hay!

Food, fun, family, fellowship. Wide open spaces, the country fall air. Quality time with my mom and my boys. I am refreshed and rejuvenated!

A glorious week-end, indeed!

Ten Things

In the quiet of the boy's naps and Kevy running errands, I am reminded once again of how full my life truly is and how blessed I am with all that God has given me.

I am getting to know myself better and better with each passing year and life chapter, and I am becoming increasingly aware of how much I really do not like change....it's really not my fave! Yet, how much fun would it be to lead a safe and boring life for all of one's days? Not very! So, even though these past fews weeks have been a little MWWWWAAAAHHHH-ish....I'm thankful for them...and I'm excited for what the future holds. I'm excited for these new changes, this new home, and this new chapter of our lives.

~ I'm excited that our boys now live so much closer to both sets of grandparents. Both Kev and I had grandparents who played huge roles in each of our lives, and we have always wanted that for our children.

~ I'm thankful for the support system of our moms and families, as well. They have already blessed us beyond measure in these few short weeks that we have been home.

~ I'm excited for the boys to be sharing a room together. My big bro and I shared a room for quite a few years when we were really young, and those are some of my very best memories with him. Naps may still be taken separately, as I tried that the other day and they laughed together for an entire HOUR before finally falling asleep, but I honestly don't mind that, either. Those times are what family memories are made of.

~ I'm thankful for my beautiful MAINE friendships....many old from the very earliest years of our marriage and also some new with our new church family. Some of my girls I have yet to hang with - which must be remedied forthwith....But my life is full here. I never have an excuse to be lonely.

~ The help that we have received since we arrived home has been amazing. In the midst of moving, I had help with the painting and decorating, food was made, the boys were watched, and offers for borrowed cars have been coming out our ears since ours have died. Rach has been my sanity, Anna has loved on my boyzies at church, and friends have called and emailed often.

~ I'm thankful for how much fuller my life is now because of our three years in PA, as well. Some lifelong friendships were made there along with some fantastic memories. I will forever treasure that chapter in our life. We even got a Jesse out of the whole deal! :0)

~ And for my sweet Kaden. My boy who forever changed my life and created for a me a role that I wondered if I would ever be worthy of....Mommy. What a gift he is. What a treasure. And he warmed my heart the other day when he told me that he wanted to start doing some Mommy and Kaden dates - "Just us!" he said. You'd better believe it, Buddy. I am honored you would ask.

~ And sweet Jesse - my boy joy wild child. I daily eat humble pie with this one, and he has aged me already. Yet, I would not trade him for the world. He is boy through and through and he delights me. (On my bad days, Kaden and I threaten to sell him to the zoo, but they honestly are fairly few and far between....okay, maybe once or twice a week....) I'm praying that he will be a warrier for Jesus, and that he will love and serve Him with the intensity that he has for all of the rest of life. He is a leader. Those spitty kisses....those squishy hugs....be still my soul!

~ And my Kevy. The man who I would follow to the ends of the earth. My best friend and my soulmate who knows me better than I know myself. I honestly do not know where I end and where he begins. He is the heartbeat of our family.

~ Finally, Lord Jesus. It's all about You...and all this is for you. Thank you for your gifts, your patience, your wisdom that you give, and the grace that You so freely bestow. Great is thy faithfulness Oh God my Father......

Created for His Glory

Remember about a thousand posts ago I said that I was going to be more real and vulnerable in my blogging, and I wasn't just going to write about the good and cute and super Mommy moments where everyone would think that I'm amazing and have everything all together and all of my ducks perpetually in a row? (Well...those of you who know me well, already know this is not true of me...but I'm just saying... Just in case I'd fooled a few of you.....)

Anyway, this is going to be one of those posts....

This past month has been HARD. I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly why this has been the case, but I think that it's just been because of a whole bunch of little things - two moves and all of the packing and unpacking that goes with that with two wee ones, perpetual sickness that we just CAN NOT seen to shake, trying to adjust and readjust to new living arrangements, the somewhat instability of our current living situation - being unsure of how long we will be able to stay, both cars dying - one because of me and the other because who knows why, the kids adjusting to sleeping together thus making nights a little more sleepless and interrupted......I don't know. All seemingly little things in the grand scheme of life, but when they're added up together, life has just become stressful and a little overwhelming these past weeks.

Anyway, in the midst of these somewhat darker days for me, I am finding that the easiest place to release my stress and frustration is on my children. I find myself getting more frustrated with Jesse's busyness, selfishly irritated when Kaden comes out of his room at night after kisses and prayers, because now he's interrupting "my time," irritated even more because once "my time" finally arrives, all I want is my bed, stressed because anything that I want or need to do in life or ministry or WHATEVER has to become an event where I need to get a sitter for the kids or weigh the pros and cons of if it will be worth doing while having two little rugrats by my side, frustrated that no pocket of my home can seem to be free of messes even for a moment because I have a whirling dervish of a crabby-as-of-late toddler, and just tired.....oh so tired....sleepless nights, refereeing squabbles, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning....

I have found myself wishing that my life were a little different, that my youngest's wiring and personality were a little more RELAXED...(holy cow, child!), that I could just get away.........

Yet in the midst of my whining, my Father is slowing me down and quietly whispering in my ear that I am HIS child.....and He does not treat ME this way. Christ expects no perfection from me, and He is not wishing for time off from me! God did not create me because He needed me; He created me because He wanted me. The act was based on the pure pleasure of His will. I am created to be His pleasure! He loves me for who I am, and He created me for relationship.

A pretty profound truth when looked at in the context of my relationship with my children.

This is the attitude I need to have with my boys. And this is my prayer for this new day. Why did we choose to have babies in the first place? Well, one of the reasons is because we WANTED to...pure and simple. Did I expect perfection from them when we made plans to become parents? Apparently so, by my actions sometimes! I am blessed beyond measure, and my life is full and rich. I love my life for what it is, and I love my boys for who they are. The truth is, no matter how crazy life is right now, I would have it no other way.

I just need to be reminded.....

And the enemy of my soul desires to have me. In Genesis 4:7, God told Cain that "if he did not do well, sin was crouching at the door; and its desire was for him, but he must master it." Satan waits for the weak moments. He desire is for my defeat, and he would like nothing better than for me to lose focus on my most important ministry of all - my family. The battle is so much bigger than my often very narrow minded focus.

I love II Chronicles 16:9 - "The eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." Strengthen us all Lord Jesus. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood......"

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" ~ Psalms 91:1,2

Tis the Season

For warm cozies and lots of stories inside on chilly days
For winter berries in sap buckets.....oh, how I am addicted to winter berries!
For colds and runny noses that can't seem to be shaken
For homemade bread and chicken cooking slowly all day in the oven
For Mommy waking up three times each night to brothers waking each other while sharing the same room. Praises!
For both of our cars to die at once.
For friends to come to ME becaue I am stranded here alone all day.
For thankfulness amidst exhaustion.
For all of the boysies in my life that love to make perpetual MESSES!
For a new day where God's mercies are new and afresh!

Happy Thursday!

The New "Norm"

Well, I feel like we are settling in more and more each day. Our home still feels new and not worn in yet, but that will come with each day of play and baking and messes being made. I don't feel like the place smells like us, yet. Do you know what I mean? Whenever I walk into a friend or family member's home, I feel that it always smells like them. Ours still smells a little "hotel-y," but it will soon change, I'm thinking.

I am quickly learning what decor and placement of certain things is needing to be moved around and be changed, as my oh so curious climber and whirling dervish of a 16 month old has taken it upon himself to completely and totally explore his entire surroundings leaving no drawer unopened and no shower un-climbed in. Whew! He's a busy one! His version of play is often dumping out an entire bucket of blocks and swhishing through them with his feet, all the while throwing his head back in laughter; and then he's on to the next thing to conquer!

The boys are doing fairly well sharing a bedroom together. Jesse is definitly not the sleeper that Kaden is; but for the most part, Kaden sleeps through all of Jesse's chatter and singing that takes place for 45 minutes before he falls asleep in the evening and the fussing that takes place for about a half hour before I go and get him each morning. He thinks his day should start at 5:00. Seriously. That's still like Midnight to me! This Mama can't start her day before 5:30. That's just wrong.

Not for this reason alone, (but this reason definitly plays hugely into our decision!), we are choosing to put our t.v. away for a season. Horrors! :0) However, we all kind of got used to this from being out at camp for over a month and missing all of the season premiers of my fave shows, anyway....so it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I'm actually enjoying the quiet and the conversations and the extra sleep.

I'm actually hoping that once my funk wears off completely, I will be up for some crafting and projecting once the wee ones are abed at night. These days I'm good for about another half hour, and then I'm off to bed myself!

We have been enjoying the beautiful fall weather these past couple of days. Just yesterday, the boys and I took a stroll through the Bangor City Forest and brought home some glorious treasures: a ginormous night crawler that Jesse loved the snot out of and also let loose in the hotel lobby while guests were checking in, a cute little tree frog that we are going to let go this morning because he has no food, and three massive salamanders - one of which has a stub tail. That's a whole lotta coolness sitting on my kitchen table right now!

Today we have no big plans. We're all still feeling pretty sleepy. So, hopefully peace will reign supreme and lots of books will get read and the rain will hold off for another walk, maybe a trip to a local farm will take place with some friends, and the boys will sleep long and deeply for their afternoon naps!

Disclaimer: Usually I go back and proofread my posts, but Kev is waiting to take the laptop to work and a frog is loose in my kitchen......so, those are my excuses for any typos you may have encountered! Good times....good times.....

Back in Business!

No,I didn't die.....Whew!

Out of control. Crazy. Chaotic. Overwhelming. Nuts. Just a few words to describe the past month of the Booker's lives. Not something that I want to repeat again anytime soon, but we are finally here and nicely settled into our new apartment as of two nights ago! And I am happy to admit, that thanks to the help of some FANTASTIC friends and members of our new church family, what could have been even more overwhelming and nuts-o, went relatively smoothly, and I love our new digs!

Allow me to give a brief rundown of the past month of our lives.....

For the past two weeks, our entire family has been the sickest that we have ever been in a long time. The boys both had fevers, coughs, and runny noses; and Kaden kept breaking out in random bouts of hives. Kev and I had the good old fashioned body aches, exhaustion, and coughing, and we just could not seem to shake this bunch of yuck!

We got a "new to us" second hand vehicle, so that I could finally be able to go out and about with the kids whenever we wanted, and no more than a month after purchasing said vehicle, I got into a $5,400-worth-of-damage-accident, and it is now in the shop awaiting repairs. Praises.

And then there has just been everything that comes with the territory of making a life and career change: new people and places to get to know, old connections to try and re-establish, helping the kids transition into many new and different environments, missing the relationships that we had made the past three years of our lives, and acclimating to a new norm - realizing that even though we are "home," home is different than it was three years ago. All kinds of crazy stuff. Nothing bad - just lots of NEW.

Anyway, after being sick and essentially needing to move twice because of living out at a camp until our new apartment was no longer occupied, I called my Mom in tears - completely overwhelmed with life - and she did what she always does: she came to my rescue! She stayed with us for a week and gave the boys tons of loves and added security to their new surroundings and new little lives, and I was able to go and conquer our place - painting, cleaning, organizing, and decorating until all hours of the night, and THEN - because Mom was here to help, she let me sleep in every morning! Ahhh, sheer bliss, I tell you!

So, we are finally settled, with just a couple more boxes to unpack, I finally have connections to the World Wide Web once again, we are no longer eating off of paper plates, the boys have their own space with their own toys and beds, we have turned a corner with our sicknesses, and other than a wallpapered kitchen, which isn't so much my fave, I am happily settling into my new home that feels like "me!"

So my friends.....those of you who live nearby (and those of you who don't!), come on over for some coffee and a catch-up! I have missed you! It's all good! :0)