Ten Things

In the quiet of the boy's naps and Kevy running errands, I am reminded once again of how full my life truly is and how blessed I am with all that God has given me.

I am getting to know myself better and better with each passing year and life chapter, and I am becoming increasingly aware of how much I really do not like change....it's really not my fave! Yet, how much fun would it be to lead a safe and boring life for all of one's days? Not very! So, even though these past fews weeks have been a little MWWWWAAAAHHHH-ish....I'm thankful for them...and I'm excited for what the future holds. I'm excited for these new changes, this new home, and this new chapter of our lives.

~ I'm excited that our boys now live so much closer to both sets of grandparents. Both Kev and I had grandparents who played huge roles in each of our lives, and we have always wanted that for our children.

~ I'm thankful for the support system of our moms and families, as well. They have already blessed us beyond measure in these few short weeks that we have been home.

~ I'm excited for the boys to be sharing a room together. My big bro and I shared a room for quite a few years when we were really young, and those are some of my very best memories with him. Naps may still be taken separately, as I tried that the other day and they laughed together for an entire HOUR before finally falling asleep, but I honestly don't mind that, either. Those times are what family memories are made of.

~ I'm thankful for my beautiful MAINE friendships....many old from the very earliest years of our marriage and also some new with our new church family. Some of my girls I have yet to hang with - which must be remedied forthwith....But my life is full here. I never have an excuse to be lonely.

~ The help that we have received since we arrived home has been amazing. In the midst of moving, I had help with the painting and decorating, food was made, the boys were watched, and offers for borrowed cars have been coming out our ears since ours have died. Rach has been my sanity, Anna has loved on my boyzies at church, and friends have called and emailed often.

~ I'm thankful for how much fuller my life is now because of our three years in PA, as well. Some lifelong friendships were made there along with some fantastic memories. I will forever treasure that chapter in our life. We even got a Jesse out of the whole deal! :0)

~ And for my sweet Kaden. My boy who forever changed my life and created for a me a role that I wondered if I would ever be worthy of....Mommy. What a gift he is. What a treasure. And he warmed my heart the other day when he told me that he wanted to start doing some Mommy and Kaden dates - "Just us!" he said. You'd better believe it, Buddy. I am honored you would ask.

~ And sweet Jesse - my boy joy wild child. I daily eat humble pie with this one, and he has aged me already. Yet, I would not trade him for the world. He is boy through and through and he delights me. (On my bad days, Kaden and I threaten to sell him to the zoo, but they honestly are fairly few and far between....okay, maybe once or twice a week....) I'm praying that he will be a warrier for Jesus, and that he will love and serve Him with the intensity that he has for all of the rest of life. He is a leader. Those spitty kisses....those squishy hugs....be still my soul!

~ And my Kevy. The man who I would follow to the ends of the earth. My best friend and my soulmate who knows me better than I know myself. I honestly do not know where I end and where he begins. He is the heartbeat of our family.

~ Finally, Lord Jesus. It's all about You...and all this is for you. Thank you for your gifts, your patience, your wisdom that you give, and the grace that You so freely bestow. Great is thy faithfulness Oh God my Father......

Created for His Glory

Remember about a thousand posts ago I said that I was going to be more real and vulnerable in my blogging, and I wasn't just going to write about the good and cute and super Mommy moments where everyone would think that I'm amazing and have everything all together and all of my ducks perpetually in a row? (Well...those of you who know me well, already know this is not true of me...but I'm just saying... Just in case I'd fooled a few of you.....)

Anyway, this is going to be one of those posts....

This past month has been HARD. I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly why this has been the case, but I think that it's just been because of a whole bunch of little things - two moves and all of the packing and unpacking that goes with that with two wee ones, perpetual sickness that we just CAN NOT seen to shake, trying to adjust and readjust to new living arrangements, the somewhat instability of our current living situation - being unsure of how long we will be able to stay, both cars dying - one because of me and the other because who knows why, the kids adjusting to sleeping together thus making nights a little more sleepless and interrupted......I don't know. All seemingly little things in the grand scheme of life, but when they're added up together, life has just become stressful and a little overwhelming these past weeks.

Anyway, in the midst of these somewhat darker days for me, I am finding that the easiest place to release my stress and frustration is on my children. I find myself getting more frustrated with Jesse's busyness, selfishly irritated when Kaden comes out of his room at night after kisses and prayers, because now he's interrupting "my time," irritated even more because once "my time" finally arrives, all I want is my bed, stressed because anything that I want or need to do in life or ministry or WHATEVER has to become an event where I need to get a sitter for the kids or weigh the pros and cons of if it will be worth doing while having two little rugrats by my side, frustrated that no pocket of my home can seem to be free of messes even for a moment because I have a whirling dervish of a crabby-as-of-late toddler, and just tired.....oh so tired....sleepless nights, refereeing squabbles, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning....

I have found myself wishing that my life were a little different, that my youngest's wiring and personality were a little more RELAXED...(holy cow, child!), that I could just get away.........

Yet in the midst of my whining, my Father is slowing me down and quietly whispering in my ear that I am HIS child.....and He does not treat ME this way. Christ expects no perfection from me, and He is not wishing for time off from me! God did not create me because He needed me; He created me because He wanted me. The act was based on the pure pleasure of His will. I am created to be His pleasure! He loves me for who I am, and He created me for relationship.

A pretty profound truth when looked at in the context of my relationship with my children.

This is the attitude I need to have with my boys. And this is my prayer for this new day. Why did we choose to have babies in the first place? Well, one of the reasons is because we WANTED to...pure and simple. Did I expect perfection from them when we made plans to become parents? Apparently so, by my actions sometimes! I am blessed beyond measure, and my life is full and rich. I love my life for what it is, and I love my boys for who they are. The truth is, no matter how crazy life is right now, I would have it no other way.

I just need to be reminded.....

And the enemy of my soul desires to have me. In Genesis 4:7, God told Cain that "if he did not do well, sin was crouching at the door; and its desire was for him, but he must master it." Satan waits for the weak moments. He desire is for my defeat, and he would like nothing better than for me to lose focus on my most important ministry of all - my family. The battle is so much bigger than my often very narrow minded focus.

I love II Chronicles 16:9 - "The eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." Strengthen us all Lord Jesus. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood......"

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" ~ Psalms 91:1,2

Tis the Season

For warm cozies and lots of stories inside on chilly days
For winter berries in sap buckets.....oh, how I am addicted to winter berries!
For colds and runny noses that can't seem to be shaken
For homemade bread and chicken cooking slowly all day in the oven
For Mommy waking up three times each night to brothers waking each other while sharing the same room. Praises!
For both of our cars to die at once.
For friends to come to ME becaue I am stranded here alone all day.
For thankfulness amidst exhaustion.
For all of the boysies in my life that love to make perpetual MESSES!
For a new day where God's mercies are new and afresh!

Happy Thursday!

The New "Norm"

Well, I feel like we are settling in more and more each day. Our home still feels new and not worn in yet, but that will come with each day of play and baking and messes being made. I don't feel like the place smells like us, yet. Do you know what I mean? Whenever I walk into a friend or family member's home, I feel that it always smells like them. Ours still smells a little "hotel-y," but it will soon change, I'm thinking.

I am quickly learning what decor and placement of certain things is needing to be moved around and be changed, as my oh so curious climber and whirling dervish of a 16 month old has taken it upon himself to completely and totally explore his entire surroundings leaving no drawer unopened and no shower un-climbed in. Whew! He's a busy one! His version of play is often dumping out an entire bucket of blocks and swhishing through them with his feet, all the while throwing his head back in laughter; and then he's on to the next thing to conquer!

The boys are doing fairly well sharing a bedroom together. Jesse is definitly not the sleeper that Kaden is; but for the most part, Kaden sleeps through all of Jesse's chatter and singing that takes place for 45 minutes before he falls asleep in the evening and the fussing that takes place for about a half hour before I go and get him each morning. He thinks his day should start at 5:00. Seriously. That's still like Midnight to me! This Mama can't start her day before 5:30. That's just wrong.

Not for this reason alone, (but this reason definitly plays hugely into our decision!), we are choosing to put our t.v. away for a season. Horrors! :0) However, we all kind of got used to this from being out at camp for over a month and missing all of the season premiers of my fave shows, anyway....so it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I'm actually enjoying the quiet and the conversations and the extra sleep.

I'm actually hoping that once my funk wears off completely, I will be up for some crafting and projecting once the wee ones are abed at night. These days I'm good for about another half hour, and then I'm off to bed myself!

We have been enjoying the beautiful fall weather these past couple of days. Just yesterday, the boys and I took a stroll through the Bangor City Forest and brought home some glorious treasures: a ginormous night crawler that Jesse loved the snot out of and also let loose in the hotel lobby while guests were checking in, a cute little tree frog that we are going to let go this morning because he has no food, and three massive salamanders - one of which has a stub tail. That's a whole lotta coolness sitting on my kitchen table right now!

Today we have no big plans. We're all still feeling pretty sleepy. So, hopefully peace will reign supreme and lots of books will get read and the rain will hold off for another walk, maybe a trip to a local farm will take place with some friends, and the boys will sleep long and deeply for their afternoon naps!

Disclaimer: Usually I go back and proofread my posts, but Kev is waiting to take the laptop to work and a frog is loose in my kitchen......so, those are my excuses for any typos you may have encountered! Good times....good times.....

Back in Business!

No,I didn't die.....Whew!

Out of control. Crazy. Chaotic. Overwhelming. Nuts. Just a few words to describe the past month of the Booker's lives. Not something that I want to repeat again anytime soon, but we are finally here and nicely settled into our new apartment as of two nights ago! And I am happy to admit, that thanks to the help of some FANTASTIC friends and members of our new church family, what could have been even more overwhelming and nuts-o, went relatively smoothly, and I love our new digs!

Allow me to give a brief rundown of the past month of our lives.....

For the past two weeks, our entire family has been the sickest that we have ever been in a long time. The boys both had fevers, coughs, and runny noses; and Kaden kept breaking out in random bouts of hives. Kev and I had the good old fashioned body aches, exhaustion, and coughing, and we just could not seem to shake this bunch of yuck!

We got a "new to us" second hand vehicle, so that I could finally be able to go out and about with the kids whenever we wanted, and no more than a month after purchasing said vehicle, I got into a $5,400-worth-of-damage-accident, and it is now in the shop awaiting repairs. Praises.

And then there has just been everything that comes with the territory of making a life and career change: new people and places to get to know, old connections to try and re-establish, helping the kids transition into many new and different environments, missing the relationships that we had made the past three years of our lives, and acclimating to a new norm - realizing that even though we are "home," home is different than it was three years ago. All kinds of crazy stuff. Nothing bad - just lots of NEW.

Anyway, after being sick and essentially needing to move twice because of living out at a camp until our new apartment was no longer occupied, I called my Mom in tears - completely overwhelmed with life - and she did what she always does: she came to my rescue! She stayed with us for a week and gave the boys tons of loves and added security to their new surroundings and new little lives, and I was able to go and conquer our place - painting, cleaning, organizing, and decorating until all hours of the night, and THEN - because Mom was here to help, she let me sleep in every morning! Ahhh, sheer bliss, I tell you!

So, we are finally settled, with just a couple more boxes to unpack, I finally have connections to the World Wide Web once again, we are no longer eating off of paper plates, the boys have their own space with their own toys and beds, we have turned a corner with our sicknesses, and other than a wallpapered kitchen, which isn't so much my fave, I am happily settling into my new home that feels like "me!"

So my friends.....those of you who live nearby (and those of you who don't!), come on over for some coffee and a catch-up! I have missed you! It's all good! :0)