Vapor

I watched the old Robin Williams movie - Hook - the other day. Out of that entire hour and a half, there is one quote that has been haunting my brain ever since then.

It's from the scene in the beginning of the movie where Peter Panning (I think that's his last name) has completely forgotten that he used to be Peter Pan. He has forgotten how to play, and he's forgotten how to enjoy his children. Instead, he's this crazy busy lawyer who makes promises that he can't keep, who takes business calls during his daughter's play, and who misses his son's most important baseball game because of a meeting.

That evening, his wife takes him aside and makes this statement:

"Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack might not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast Peter. Just a few years, and it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it."


You're children love you...they want to play with you.

How long do you think that lasts?

We have a few special years with our children when they're the ones that want us around.

After that, you're going to be running after them.....

It's true.

I see that in our own mothers - living for the times when we pop over for a visit, never wanting to push or pry or make us feel like we have to...but wanting to see us - I am sure - more than they get to.

Each day, our boys get a little more independent. A little more content on their own. This is right. And this is good. We raise our children to be independent, and we are raising our boys to depend on Christ alone and to be godly leaders in their own homes.

Our lives are fleeting - a vapor.
...And so is THEIR childhood.

I see my laundry, the dishes, forever unending and never caught up.
The table is always piled high.
The legos are perpetual.

But some day that will be all over.
These are the years for slowing time down.
For savoring.
I need to be careful so that I don't miss it.

Holy Ordinary

Is God interested only in the grand moments of Christian pomp and ministry achievement? Does He show up only when "truly great things" are taking place?

I think not.

Is God not here also amidst the mundane of life?
In the seemingly simple?

After all, most of life IS wholly ordinary.

But, might all of it REALLY be "holy" ordinary?

Does He not see - Does He not smile - at all of the beauty that can be found in the midst of the messy? All of the sacred that lives right in the very middle of the chaos?

I think He does.

In fact, I think that we bless Him when we count His blessings that He daily - moment by moment, really - gives to each one of us!

Life is not an emergency.

All of life is a gift.
And I will find the blessings. I will see the beauty.

Just as it blesses me to be thanked for gifts given - free though they may be - I will bless my Father for His gifts so freely given.

We can slow.
We can wake.
We can trust.
We can pay attention.

Genesis 12:2 - "I will bless you....and you will be a blessing."


********
708. First flower gift of spring given by Kaden & Jesse
733. Kids running wild and free All day long!
752. Memorizing my baby in the moment's he is still.
743. Running barefoot on the lawn.
750. Birds joining the peepers in the earliest morning.
751. Daddy and big boy fishing dates
753. First day of capris!
754. Weekends for slowing down
735. Lifelong friends walking our journey together
707. Midnight lattes with friends

Somewhere in the world today....

We have some of our dearest friends spending the week with us. We met them in PA in the same stage of life. We'd all just sold our homes, left our families, and moved to (what felt like to us) the big city where we knew no-one, to finish out our college education. We all lived in the married student housing where it kind of felt like the college days all over again - glorified dorm life, in a way, but we were all married and having babies! It really was super fun, and they will be lifelong friends.

Anyway...they have two little girls the ages of my Jesse and Ransom. They stepped out for a couple of hours one evening, so Kevy and I pretended that we were parents of a "big family." Overall, things went very smoothly. Completely outnumbered 5-1, there were no catastrophes, all got fed, and all were tucked into bed with relatively no misshap. We were impressed with ourselves!

After the big boys and the babies got settled down - I laid down with their little four year old daughter for a few minutes while I was tucking her in. I read her a story, we prayed together, she gave me a big hug and kiss, and then I just kind of laid there and watched her little face as she told me story after story. It was so tender and sweet, and she was just so animated and lovely. She really is darling, and it has been so much fun having little girls running around our place this week. She has handled herself well in this boy's world (although she told her Mama that though she would miss the boys, she was ready to be done with the rough and tough! Ha!)

Anyway, while I was laying beside her listening to all of her little stories, it hit me that somewhere out there, right now, there are - Lord willing - three little girls growing up with their Mommies and their Daddies who will marry my three little boys some day. I do think about it, and I often joke about it with my friends who have little girls, but tonight for some reason, it really struck me. While I was looking at her little face and laughing at her little mannerisms and animation, my heart just filled with such love for this little girl...and for whoever the Lord has out there that He is preparing for my boys.

While I don't have any daughters - and I maybe never will, someday I might get the chance to love three young women, and I need to be praying for them now. Little hearts are getting molded, little personalities are being developed, and I pray that someday my boys will have a marriage as wonderful as their Daddy and I - one where they are best friends, where my boys treat their wives with respect and tenderness, and one where their wives feel safe and secure, loved and honored. My boys saw this week, that they have to handle little girls differently than they handle each other. They need to be more sensitive, more gentle, and they need to be careful with their words and their actions.

Heavy stuff, really. Marriage is forever, and I want my boys to be students of their wives just as Kev is with me. Just as my heart is so full of love and protection for my boys, I got just a tiny taste of that love and tenderness for my future daughters-in-law who - somewhere in the world today - are running and playing and growing just as mine are.

And then my friend Lori sent me this song:

My little boys need godly wives, so hold onto Jesus little ones....

He Is Not Here....

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain...
For me.
For you.
For the whole world.



With all creation I sing - "PRAISE to the King of Kings!
You are my EVERYTHING - and I will ADORE You!"

HE IS RISEN!!!

My Roots...

We kicked it up home to the County for a quick overnight last night. It was a whirlwind visit, but lovely nonetheless. Whenever we go up home, I like to bring out my "hick" in full swagger. Lots of firepit fires, tons of filth and smelling like smoke, many hotdogs and marshmallows roasted outside, and a whole lotta' wide open spaces.

Our main purpose in going was for Kev to do some old fashioned business dealings with a cuz up home. A tradesies of sorts. You know - "Hey, I've got an Old Town canoe and a nice gun. Ya wanna' trade for your tin boat with a motor?" That sort of thing. We have grown too large - and too crazy - for our canoe. That chapter of our lives - for a season - is over. But the season for an old Cadillac tin boat that is a bit more steady? Oh Baby -- that's the season we're in right now. Let the good times roll!

So, while Dad and Kev puttered and worked around the yard all day on my Grampy's old boat... Mom, the boys, and I -- well, we played! Just a few hours and just one overnight, but - oh the little love tanks are filled. And our visits up home are (always) further affirmation for Kev and I that our decision to move closer to the grandparents was indeed very wise.

There's just something about the role that the Grandparents play in my children's lives -- and still in my own, that is irreplaceable. Our grandparents played hugely pivotal roles in our lives growing up, and we want our parents to do the same with our children. It's priceless, really.

685. My father - gentle and strong.
686. Full of wisdom, simple faith.
687. Faithful provider, protector, and friend.
688. Hands-on Grampy, silly and fun.
693. His box of old junk wood.
694. Turned into wooden boat treasures.
705. Working alongside Kevin all day.
706. Tired at day's end - still takes Kaden fishing.

693. Mother mine - mother of two boys herself, knows well the boy's world.
697. Floating boats in the stream all morning - attentive Grammy always watching.
699. Always my mother - worrying, helping.
700. Getting the baby so I could sleep in.
701. Sending me home with boxes of groceries to feed my family.
702. Watching her wave until we drove out of sight.
703. Calls to make sure we arrived home safely.
704. Relationship morphing to that of dear friend.

"These are for you - gifts - these are for you - grace - these are for you - God, so count the way He loves, a thousand, more, never stop....and you can slow and you can trust, and you can receive each moment as grace." ~ One Thousand Gifts

Easter for the Kidlets

CBD (Christian Book Distributers), and I'm sure Amazon as well, has some pretty great Easter material out right now for little ones. I love LOVE this book here:

It's just a simple telling of the Easter story. It starts on Palm Sunday with the crowds shouting "Hosanna!", and then it goes through the crucifixion - very age appropriately - and culminates in Jesus rising again, meeting with the disciples, and going back to Heaven.

CBD also sells these Easter fridge magnets. (Who knew?) They go along well with the story, so while I read it, I let them take turns holding the magnets and playing with them. They never make it to the fridge, for some reason.

And when combined with the Resurrection Eggs, there are many things for little hands to hold and touch -- and little attention spans are held for much longer!

You can find out how to make your own Resurrection Eggs anywhere. (Just google how to make your own). OR - if you want to make them double as a beautiful centerpeice, just go over to my cousin's blog, and see what she did. Practical AND beautifully pleasing to the eye. Nicely done!

Also -
Here's a super simple "Resurrection Roll" recipe that is really fun (and yummy) to make with your littles, that also tells the story of Jesus rising from the dead.

You will need:
1 package refrigerated crescent roll dough
8 large marshmallows
2 Tablespoons melted butter
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 Tablespoon sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Give each child one triangle of crescent dough and a marshmallow. (The roll represents the cloth that Jesus' body was wrapped in and the marshmallow represents Jesus). Just go with it...

Have each child dip the marshmallow in the melted butter. (The embalming oils). Dip the marshmallow in the cinnamon and sugar (The spices used to anoint Jesus' body). Wrap the coated marshmallow tightly in the crescent roll - not like a typical crescent roll - but bring up and seal the marshmallow inside. (This represents the wrapping of Jesus' body after His death).

Place on an ungreased cookie sheet and place in the oven. (This represents Jesus' tomb). Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and cool slightly. When the rolls are cool, the kids can open up their rolls (the burial cloths) and discover that Jesus is no longer there!!!

HE IS RISEN!!!

NOTE: As long as the crescent rolls are sealed, the marshmallows will melt, and the roll will be puffed up, but empty.

Us Chicks...

So, I don't know about the rest of you, but we have a little nighttime getting ready for bed routine with the hoolies that Kev and I always do together - a tag team event of sorts. When it's time for all the little boys to hit the hay, he & I will together, help them into their p.j.'s, help them brush their teeth, get their beds and music all organized, pick up their toys from the day, give them their last sips of water, etc. etc. etc. You know the drill.

Often, in the midst of this ritual - me, Mrs. Easily Distracted - will run off to do that last minute thing "super fast" that I just remembered needed to get done, and I will leave poor Kevy hanging.

Usually, it goes down something like this:
Me: "Oh! Kevy!!! (Said with much excitement and urgency) I forgot to shut the girls in their roost, and it's getting dark. I'm just going to run out and do that really quickly before a fox gets them."
Kevy: "Quickly...Yeah right."
Me: "No. Seriously. It'll take like 30 seconds." (And off I fly like the wind).

My intentions are always good. Sometimes, it does "take like 30 seconds." Other times, he has to go on an Amy hunt. And if I were to be completely honest, maybe even most times he has to go on an Amy hunt. Ahem. Take last night for instance. The plan was just to shut the girls in their roost. But, we got chatting about the day, and well... you know...time ticks away. We were having a lovely conversation, and a couple of them didn't want to go to bed, and then they were telling me the lovliest of stories...and well, 30 seconds sort of turned into ten minutes. It happens to the best of us. I'm working on it.

597. Nighttime chicky routines (Please pardon the baby talk).
598. Patient, understanding hubby (You can hear his "HELLO???" in the background)
599. Who doesn't easily anger or get irritated
600. And who loves my chickies as much as I do.

(Okay, scratch #600. It's a lie).
Moving right along....
********

Yesterday deserves a whole blog post of its own, really.
It deserves a whole page of blessings recorded.
I love days like yesterday. They are food for the soul:

580. Super early in the a.m. playdate call to old college friend. She says yes.
581. 6 kids playing happily
582. 2 Mamas on the porch, 3 hrs., (mostly) uninterrupted conversation
583. Heavy & silly, simplicity & depth, gut exploding laughter & serious life stuff
584. Years of history - still meshing lives
585. Mutual encouragement, challenge, & inspiration
586. More treasures! - Taddy eggs, larvae, a butterfly, & 2 more newts
587. She, farther down life's road - wisdom & grace to give
588. 3 little girls, graciously rock it out in a boy's world for a day
589. All go to bed with heart's full & spirit's happy - God's gift of FRIENDSHIP!

Oh man. It's the simple pleasures that give such beauty in the rest of life's mundane. A mid-week break from the normalcy of our typical days - where two busy Mamas with six kids between us agreed to put a hold on all that needed, and should've gotten done in our day. Instead of doing, we chose to stop for a few hours and just "be."

We let our kids run free and we re-connected. Two women, two wives, two Mamas - for just a couple of hours - stopped the race. We put our blurring, whirling lives on hold, we sat, we listened, and we saw each's other's hearts.

"It is our very presence in each other's lives that makes US the gift. It is by the very function of our being, not our doing, that we are the beloved of God. And so we become the love of God, blessing those He loves." - One Thousand Gifts

So Here's The Thing...

I am well aware that this blog is not going to help find a cure for any disease or solve any of the world's hunger problems.

I have no platform or awareness for anything that I am trying to create...except only to record the highlights of our family's life to publish for my boys someday.

I want them to see how their Mama lived the day to day, and I want them to know how hard she tried to savor the few years that she had with them.

The truth?
I'm not always happy, and things aren't always perfect.
I just don't very often post about those times. It's how I roll.
It doesn't mean that they don't exist.

My natural tendency is to generally see the glass as half full, but I also intentionally look for the humor and the joy to write about and remember.

I have read "those blogs" where everything is sugar-coated, super sweet, and gag me if I have to read another post about your perfect life. Holy Hannah, just shoot me now if my blog has ever come across that way. That has never been my intention.

Here's how I see it:
Life is full of crap. (No, I do not use that word in front of my kids. They would love it, and it would become their sole adjective of choice).

Anyway, life is full of it - and we've lived our share of it. So, I view this blog the same way I view sad movies. Here is Amy's philosphy on that whole deal: Life is already full of enough sadness and pain. Why voluntarily put yourself through more of it? This is why I have a strong, personal stance against seeing any sad or traumatic movies. Ask any of my besties. If we're going to watch a movie together, they must already know what the ending is and assure me that it's going to be happy, otherwise I won't watch it. Pathetic, I know. It's just my thing.

And so is this blog.

My little corner of this world over here - it's real and it's authentic.
There's nothing fake about it.
It's not always great, it's not always fun, and we're not always happy.
I am just choosing to record the joy.

Like that verse in Habakkuk 3:18: "I will take joy."
That's what this blog is for me.
I write through the lens of what is good and life bringing to our days, and I try to always embrace the small joys.

It's therapy for me.
It's testimony of God's goodness in our lives.
It's an outlet for my love of words.
And it's a legacy for my kids.

I don't negate the sorrow or pain that's out there.
I am acutely aware that it exists and that it's very real.
I don't deny, or turn a blind eye or a deaf ear.
I am surrounded by failing marriages, broken families, and loved ones dying.
I have friends with barren wombs, husbands at war, and limping lives.
I see many dead walking - waiting to die.

It's there. I know.

And I am trying to live intentionally in such a way that makes room for God to come in and move me to "be" and "go" and "do" whatever He would have for me to do.

But, because of all of the pain and yuck that's out there -
And maybe even in spite of it -
I am intentionally choosing, for the most part, to write about the good that can be found in every day.

If I don't record it, I won't remember.

And so, for the most part, I write about what is happy and life giving. What is whole and what brings joy. Simple pleasures and tiny nothings. Because this is what brings redemption to our days. When I sit down at my computer and look through all of the pictures that I took in one single day - I can see the gifts. No matter how that particular day went down - good, bad, or ugly - those pictures tell the story. And when I choose to list the blessings and remember the small things - well, a whole lot of simple little moments end up becoming one blessed life that is full to overflowing.

When the struggles and the sorrows come - which they will, I can bank on that - I can look back, and I can see the good. I can remember the joy. And then when things get cloudy and confusing, I can look back and see clearly.

I embrace the gifts of now wholeheartedly.
I bend the knee and receive today.
Tomorrow will take care of itself.

And when I record the thanks - always, everywhere the good -
Satan loses. Every time Satan loses.

So, right here -
THIS little corner of the world...
this is me - choosing to see, choosing to chase joy.
It's a good life, and I know full well that I am blessed.
And I'm going to rock the heck out of it.

It's What You Make It

I have this slice of Heaven.
I like to call it HOME.
It holds three boys and one fine man,
and chickies freely roam.

The housework's never finished.
Messes are made ALL day.
But it is full of laughs and love
with kids who learn and play.

Some mud, our stream - the neighbor's pond...
A boy's "Adventureland."
It isn't much. The cost? It's free!
But oh! For them, it's grand.

They're pirates, hunters, army men -
Fierce warriors - unbending.
Tis the season for this girl
for laundry never ending!

The washing - it is never done.
I swear, it is perpetual.
The boys go out and fall in mud.
This has become their ritual!

These three, I can not keep them clean.
They're filth from head to toe.
There's dirt and mud from nose to chin.
But, Oh! I love them so!

It isn't always perfect.
The kids aren't always good.
They spat and fight
And make me NUTS
...don't listen as they should.

But we are FULL - We have SO much.
Compared to most, we're wealthy.
A family that's committed,
A home, food, clothes, we're healthy.

So, I choose joy with my four boys.
My gifts of life and love.
I thank my God - Giver of All
My Father from Above.

For this life, He's given me
The happiness with sorrow.
I'll live a life that's full today -
I'm promised no tomorrows.

I'll make mistakes, I'll fall, I'll fail.
I have regrets, for sure.
My fears and failures I remember.
They're always at my door.

But God is Healer - Life Sustainer,
Forgiveness, Full of Grace.
I see just how He handles me -
For my boys, I'll do the same.

Grace and love freely bestowed,
Forgiveness always given.
So our life here on Earth below
CAN be a slice of Heaven.


For LIFE is what you make it.
The good comes with the sorrow.
For me - I'll live JOY for today -
I might be gone tomorrow.

And Then There Were Three

Three little boys, living life together.
All so very different in looks and personality.

Three who have swollen me, shaped me, and birthed me into love.

Three who frazzle me to no end.
Three who have shown me the deepest joy possible.
Three who fill my days with love and laughter...and chaos.
And three who cause me to depend on Christ like never before.

This is my life, and I embrace it.

I choose to live a life of joy, and some days are harder than others, I will admit.
But, till my last heaving breath, I will fight for this.
"I will take joy." - Habakkuk 3:18
Because, "No man can live without joy." - Thomas Aquinas

And because, "it's the joy of small that makes life large." - Ann Voskamp
And so I embrace the small.
I count the blessings.
I name each one.

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."
-Dawna Markova

Marmie Reminders

"Empty Nest"

(Written by my Marmie the Fall I graduated from High School)

My house is growing emptier
As children leave the "nest" -
The days are getting quieter
The nights seem long, to rest.

I lie awake in bed at night,
And wonder how they are -
Not long ago, they slept here too
But now they're scattered far.

No "late night chats" - no "goodnight kiss"
Just quiet empty rooms
Bear witness to the changes here,
And add to Mother's gloom.

How fast the years have hurried by
since childhood days of play -
How is that they've grown and gone
And brought me to this day?

Sometimes I'd like to turn the clock
of time back just a bit -
To see their little faces smile
And hear their childish wit!

But I cannot - and life goes on
Though one day I shall see
Their image in THEIR children's eyes
Looking back at me.


You taught me well, Marmie.
I am learning.
I am savoring.
I had the very best teacher in you.
For this, I thank you...

The Little Things...

Because that's really what makes up our days...


...visits to the stream and lots of outside play.
And multiple cups of coffee for the Mama.

...reminders of God's majesty and beauty all around us...

...little touches of country, even though we're not technically there...

...evidence of three little boys...

...breakfast traditions and cozy starts to busy days...

May your Tuesday be full of all the special little things that make your home, your family, and your life uniquely...YOU!

Slow....see the sacred amidst the chaos.
It's there. We just have to look for it.