An Explanation.......

I feel that I must clarify my "R" for "Rebel" statement a wee bit.

Remember that I said I am a rebel as far as a nontraditional sense of "style" goes. This is very different from being a rebel as far as a heart issue goes. Now, don't get me wrong. If you talk to me about wearing nylons and dresses to church, you'll see the rebellion there. But, that's another issue for another post. I'm working on it. Especially if Kev gets hired by a church that really really wants me to dress up a little. That's really not overly cool with me, but I'll work on it. I really well. But I digress......maybe it was all those years at N.B.B.I......

When I said that I will not have an issue if my boys want piercings or tats, I honestly won't IF they don't do it out of a rebellious SPIRIT or wrong motives. And you can tell the difference. I'm not talking about being cool with it if they want to do it when they're in junior high - or even in high school for that matter. I don't know....we'll see. What I am saying is that if once they're out on their own and they come home from college on a break with a tat, I'm not going to fly off the handle and preach to them about being backslidden. Holiness is not about a list of rules and regulations. It's a matter of the heart. When we start talking about offending the weaker brother or being a stumbling block to others, well frankly, that's why I haven't done a lot of things that I might like to do. We'll discuss all of this if and when the time comes.

"Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart," and I care a great deal more about what God thinks. By no means have I figured this whole thing out, but there is a delicate line to be walked between legalisim and offending our brother.

My parents were really awesome about this during our growing up years. We lived in a community and culture where going to movies and dances was a sin, and where even wearing makeup might spark a discussion. I clearly remember in my high school years being taken aside by a deacon in my church because I had pierced the top of my earlobe. Now, I know the dear soul loved me and he was just concerned for my "spiritual well-being," but mister man, at the time did that EVER turn me off. That little discussion did nothing for my spiritual well-being!

When senior prom rolled around, there were many of my Christian friends who were having major issues with their parents, because they were forbidden to go. My mom and dad, on the other hand, told me that if I wanted to go they would go dress shopping with me and it would be no problem with them. They trusted me. They knew me. And they knew the friends that I hung out with. This spoke VOLUMES to me! In a sense, they were putting their own necks out on the line with THEIR friends, because they were letting us go. Ultimately I chose not to because, for one thing, I can't dance to save my soul, and for another, my boyfriend of four years and I had just broken up. I wanted nothing to do with the whole scene. But, had I wanted to go, they would have let me! That trust that they had in me made me want to live even more trustworthy for them! Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Clear as mud?! I just want to major on the majors and minor on the minors. My parents did a really great job at that. I want my boys to love Christ intimately and passionately. I want them to be completely sold out to Him. I want to be completely sold out to Him. And if this is the case, what's a little ink? I shudder to think of the things that I will really be dealing with them ten years from now. I'm sure that by then, tats and piercings will no longer be what's "cool" and it'll be something like shaving their heads or pulling out all of their teeth, or women trying to grow beards that will be the "in" thing.

Then, I'll really have to eat my words...........

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Ame...you're funny...And, you make sense, don't worry...it is funny, though, some of the things we grow up with - and especially at NBBI, convince ourselves that certain things 'prove' our spirituality and godliness...only to find that as you grow closer to Jesus, those things are often so insignificant...perhaps in more recent years, the conflict of "liberty" and "freedom" can be taken too far, thinking we are entitled to do whatever we wish, but...I think if we know God, and are loving Him with pure heart, we know that if He was indeed walking the earth today, He would be doing many of the very things thought to be "rebellious" according to some church's standard today...we were talking about that at Bible study lastnight, reading in John, about Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman, who had 5 husbands...and then the miracle of healing the man and asking him to carry his mat on...the SABBATH!!...Jesus marched to the beat of His own drum, though He ALWAYS had a pure and perfect heart, always longing to bring glory to His Father...I think if that is our desire, many other things fade into insignificance...and truly, desiring to please HIM, and worrying less about what others think...that would be a remarkable thing to really conquer...Slowly, but surely, He continues to teach us...

Anyways...i'm rambling...just wanted to say Hi - glad to see an update (and explanation of your 'rebellion'...you dear soul...)

Much love, my friend...

Anonymous said...

...P.S. - did I get the top of my ear pierced with you - were we in Fredericton or something? That rings a bell...though, i took mine out a few days later, as I'm pretty sure the shaky hands of the girl piercing, actually pierced a nerve...it KILLED!!!...just a thought...I think you, me and Matt went to Fredericton for the day or something...can't completely remember....

Shannon said...

This could make quite a conversation. It really could. I'd love to sit down and have a coffee with you talk about all this stuff. But, you're just far away and its not going to happen. :)

Trish D said...

Great explanation - and I couldn't agree more. I grew up in a very legalistic church, and frankly my parents were more concerned about outward appearances than heart issues. Something I am trying really hard not to do with my kiddos.

And I'm planning to get a tat next year for my 35th birthday :)

Life With My Joys..... said...

Oh Shannon! How I would love to sit down and chat with you....and I do so love coffee! Email and blogging just don't quite cut it. Just as Kristi - that's been our friendship for much of our life!

Angie said...

amen. i grew up in the 'christian' environment where I was taught to be a self-righteous christian who should be more focused on the list of 'what i do NOT do' then what place Jesus has in my heart and life. and there is no mistake in the parenthesis around 'christian'...because i do not believe this attitude is Christ-like at all. Because for my parents (at the time) and most of my adult spiritual influencers, it was a faith based on FEAR, not FAITH. Big difference. Afraid that if their kids came in contact with sin, then it would permeate them to the core, and all would be lost. But, what about the reality that we ARE all sinners...it is a part of us, in our old nature, and it is only God's grace & truth through a relationship with His Son, that makes up our new nature, and all that is 'good' in us. And, we won't be rid of our old nature until we die. All that to say, that is why we have chosen to make decisions in our lives and our kids lives. Take our decision to send them to public school instead of christian/home school...we want them to have a real relationship with God, and believe that His working in their heart and life is so powerful that they will be a light to the kids/teachers around them. Will they make mistakes? yep. Will they hear/see/do things that I wish they would never hear/see/do? yep, but I've learned that God's grace and love is not only evident in a safe environment, but in reality, the opposite is true. His grace is actually shown in our weakness...during those times when we are tested...when we're being a light in dark places. Now, I'm not trying to start something at all :), and these are convictions that Rob and I have come to before God for our family. I don't have my head in the sand...i realize the home school vs christian school vs public school debate is alive and well in christian circles and we've prayed about every one of them and this is the one that undoubtedly God has for our family. And my faith has been tested in trusting my kids to Him each day that they walk out of my safe environment and arms, and walk straight into the lions den...but seeing them grow and be such a light, at such a young age, is a constant evidence of God's power...even through the littlest of them. I think a POT of coffee might be in order for this convo, eh? ;) love you, my little rebel.

Angie said...

soooo....just re-read my comment and hope I haven't started something...:s. but honestly, the example of schooling was the first one that came to my mind, because it was one of the first ones we made where I really had to challenge all those ingrained 'legalistic' tendencies and really pour my heart out to God and be open to what He wanted us to do. His will, not ours. Anyway, you've got my brain churning, so think I'll post a little diddy on my blog, so I can reap the results of my thoughts on my blog, and leave yours out of it. ;) I love you ame, and truly believe that you are such a wonderful sincere example of what being a follower of Christ, a Christian, should be. And, again am not suprised at the continued influence you have on everyone around you. Love, your intense but sincere friend...ang :).

Anonymous said...

Am I a rebel because I have a tattoo?!?! I didn't do it out of rebellion, I just really like tattoos in good taste (key words!!) That's why we got them together and they symbolized our marriage. I'm getting another one after we have our first child. Wanna come with?!?!

Unknown said...

All I can say is, Amen! And too, it makes me think of what Beth Moore was saying in our Bible study video yesterday. We're studying Jesus, the One and Only. She made the point that few Christians are doing ministry the way Jesus did, that you need to see more doctors sitting next to drug pushers in church. So often Christians are too "pretty" and can't get past the outward appearances of those we're trying to save. So many of these things are associated with evil but might not be bad in and of themselves. Let's reclaim them for Jesus! He was hardest on the legalistic Pharisees.

Unknown said...

Hey Ame,
Would it work for you guys for us to stop by on the end of our D.C. trip? It would be the weekend of the 18th through the 20th of April. Let me know if not, we might be able to make the previous one work, but we'll already be swinging by my other PA relatives then. Loves, Shannie

Shay said...

If you go to GodTube.com and search for Brian Welch you can watch his testimony on James Robison's show. I think you'd enjoy it, going along the lines of your topic. :)