"Quiet Time" and "Motherhood" are Oxymorons

My babies have been fighting fevers all week, thus they are not sleeping well, therefore they are not in the greatest of spirits. I must confess, on a couple of these days when Kev kissed me good-bye and headed out the door to have a lunch meeting with so-and-so and a breakfast meeting with such-and-such, and a: "I'm going to shut my phone off for a bit and find a place to hide and have my quiet time before heading to work," I thought about offering to trade roles for the day.

Isn't there a verse somewhere that says: "Oh that I had wings like a dove and could fly away?" Amy's paraphrase, of course. There are rare days that I feel this way - and usually it's fixed by an early bedtime where I can find my sanity once again. But, oh - how I've been craving some honest to goodness, TRUE, "quiet time" with the Lord. A retreat of sorts, perhaps. Or at least something beyond the bible reading during the hair drying, or the praying during the nursing, or the devotions during the kids playing darts and wrestling matches in the living room or the prayers in the shower...... Something a little more restful and something a little less distracting.

I honestly DO think the Lord understands this season of life, though. I really do. It's fleeting. It's short. Someday I'll have a quiet house to myself for hours on end. Someday I'll be able to get out of bed before 6:00 in the morning and actually feel fresh and refreshed - not like I'm run over by a Mactruck! Someday, there will be silence for more than three seconds. And someday, I might even be able to take five minutes to write a blog post without someone hanging off of me or licking my toes - like child #2 is doing right now at this very second. No joke.

For now, though, I'll cling to the verses that go like this: "How blessed is the(wo)man whose strength is in YOU!" and "You who seek God, let your heart revive!" Cause I'm seeking Him, and I want revival - it's just looking a little different than, say a three day secluded women's retreat, or a two hour vigil with just me, my Bible, and God. For the here and now, it's looking a whole lot more like me sitting on the front steps watching my big boy ride his bike in the driveway, while my middle one wants my empty lap, during which I try to fish rocks out of Ransom's mouth, all the while I am trying to keep supper from burning while I try to digest a chapter or two. But, it's good. It's all good. God knows. He understands.

1 comment:

ange said...

oh man..dont i EVER know what you mean..(sigh)..there have been many days that ive wished to trade places with Mike...all the people he gets to meet, all the coffee he gets to drink with grown ups..all the quiet time he gets in his lovely corner office with the big bay window overlooking the church gardens...sigh..sounds dreamy..

But just like you..i remind my self that this is a season,,that will swiftly pass...and will no doubt be missed once the dust & clutter settle...

So thankful that God listens to us even while we are vacuuming and scrubbing floors! ox