Changing My Perspective

So, pretty much since Jesse's birth, my goal has been to get his napping schedule to line up to be the same as Kaden's, so that in the afternoon I'll have a little bit of solitude for myself. While I don't think this is necessarily an unhealthy goal - I actually think that in the end, some days it makes me a better mom! - I do think that I have been focusing on this a little too heavily, lately.

I have so badly wanted their naps to line up that I have allowed myself to get really frustrated and even a wee bit resentful at times when I only get snippets of my day to myself. While we were away on vacation, Kev and I talked about this some, and I've talked about it with the Lord a whole lot more. In these past couple of days I've tried to totally change my perspective on this whole idea. While I am still trying to get their naps to line up somewhat, I am now being really intentional to enjoy the one on one time that I get with each boy when the other is napping. Kaden is awake during two of Jesse's naps. So, for one of those naps I make an effort to just be with him and do what he likes to do - play K'Nex, play picnic, read books, do puzzles, have a tea party (it's a little boy set, okay?) - whatever. And then for Jesse's other nap I try to get things accomplished while still visiting and focusing on Kaden through our conversation. Then, while Jesse is awake during Kaden's nap, he and I spend lots of time snuggling and playing rather than lugging him around under one arm and trying to do whatever I can with the other!

I'm also finding that both boys do much better at being by themselves for awhile after I spend some quality time with them. It's like their little love tanks just need to get totally filled up and then they're good to go on their own for awhile! This whole change of focus and perspective has also helped me feel like I'm being a better mom as I really am taking the time to focus on what is truly important in my life!

Another bonus: Kev is going to start giving me one afternoon a week to go out for a couple of hours while he stays home and plays with the boys! I'm going to resist the urge on these occasions to JUST play, and I'm going to go FIRST to a cozy little place where I'll order a yummy coffee and have some quality (and uninterrupted a bajillion times) time with the Lord!

Rewards all the way around!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, P.S. I didn't need anything in particular that day; I just knew it was Kevin's birthday and I wanted to know if you needed/wanted a babysitter.

So! If you ever need a babysitter some evening after this weekend . . . :)

Anonymous said...

Amy, It is so good to catch up on your news and life! Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty. You bless my heart! I love you, Brenda

Anonymous said...

Always enjoy reading your posts, Ame, and catching a glimpse into your life, and your heart...I think you are probably an amazing mother...I know your heart, and am sure your boys are amazing, like their parents...wish I could know them. I am thankful to be able to glean (good word!) some knowledge from you and other friends, and their parenting tips and perspectives...can't wait to have my own stories to share!!! And glad to be able to have other mothers I'll be able to call, too!!!

I love ya -- and hope you have a wonderful day today...and some wonderful time with your boys...Happy Halloween!!!