In the quiet of the boy's naps and Kevy running errands, I am reminded once again of how full my life truly is and how blessed I am with all that God has given me.
I am getting to know myself better and better with each passing year and life chapter, and I am becoming increasingly aware of how much I really do not like change....it's really not my fave! Yet, how much fun would it be to lead a safe and boring life for all of one's days? Not very! So, even though these past fews weeks have been a little MWWWWAAAAHHHH-ish....I'm thankful for them...and I'm excited for what the future holds. I'm excited for these new changes, this new home, and this new chapter of our lives.
~ I'm excited that our boys now live so much closer to both sets of grandparents. Both Kev and I had grandparents who played huge roles in each of our lives, and we have always wanted that for our children.
~ I'm thankful for the support system of our moms and families, as well. They have already blessed us beyond measure in these few short weeks that we have been home.
~ I'm excited for the boys to be sharing a room together. My big bro and I shared a room for quite a few years when we were really young, and those are some of my very best memories with him. Naps may still be taken separately, as I tried that the other day and they laughed together for an entire HOUR before finally falling asleep, but I honestly don't mind that, either. Those times are what family memories are made of.
~ I'm thankful for my beautiful MAINE friendships....many old from the very earliest years of our marriage and also some new with our new church family. Some of my girls I have yet to hang with - which must be remedied forthwith....But my life is full here. I never have an excuse to be lonely.
~ The help that we have received since we arrived home has been amazing. In the midst of moving, I had help with the painting and decorating, food was made, the boys were watched, and offers for borrowed cars have been coming out our ears since ours have died. Rach has been my sanity, Anna has loved on my boyzies at church, and friends have called and emailed often.
~ I'm thankful for how much fuller my life is now because of our three years in PA, as well. Some lifelong friendships were made there along with some fantastic memories. I will forever treasure that chapter in our life. We even got a Jesse out of the whole deal! :0)
~ And for my sweet Kaden. My boy who forever changed my life and created for a me a role that I wondered if I would ever be worthy of....Mommy. What a gift he is. What a treasure. And he warmed my heart the other day when he told me that he wanted to start doing some Mommy and Kaden dates - "Just us!" he said. You'd better believe it, Buddy. I am honored you would ask.
~ And sweet Jesse - my boy joy wild child. I daily eat humble pie with this one, and he has aged me already. Yet, I would not trade him for the world. He is boy through and through and he delights me. (On my bad days, Kaden and I threaten to sell him to the zoo, but they honestly are fairly few and far between....okay, maybe once or twice a week....) I'm praying that he will be a warrier for Jesus, and that he will love and serve Him with the intensity that he has for all of the rest of life. He is a leader. Those spitty kisses....those squishy hugs....be still my soul!
~ And my Kevy. The man who I would follow to the ends of the earth. My best friend and my soulmate who knows me better than I know myself. I honestly do not know where I end and where he begins. He is the heartbeat of our family.
~ Finally, Lord Jesus. It's all about You...and all this is for you. Thank you for your gifts, your patience, your wisdom that you give, and the grace that You so freely bestow. Great is thy faithfulness Oh God my Father......
Created for His Glory
Remember about a thousand posts ago I said that I was going to be more real and vulnerable in my blogging, and I wasn't just going to write about the good and cute and super Mommy moments where everyone would think that I'm amazing and have everything all together and all of my ducks perpetually in a row? (Well...those of you who know me well, already know this is not true of me...but I'm just saying... Just in case I'd fooled a few of you.....)
Anyway, this is going to be one of those posts....
This past month has been HARD. I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly why this has been the case, but I think that it's just been because of a whole bunch of little things - two moves and all of the packing and unpacking that goes with that with two wee ones, perpetual sickness that we just CAN NOT seen to shake, trying to adjust and readjust to new living arrangements, the somewhat instability of our current living situation - being unsure of how long we will be able to stay, both cars dying - one because of me and the other because who knows why, the kids adjusting to sleeping together thus making nights a little more sleepless and interrupted......I don't know. All seemingly little things in the grand scheme of life, but when they're added up together, life has just become stressful and a little overwhelming these past weeks.
Anyway, in the midst of these somewhat darker days for me, I am finding that the easiest place to release my stress and frustration is on my children. I find myself getting more frustrated with Jesse's busyness, selfishly irritated when Kaden comes out of his room at night after kisses and prayers, because now he's interrupting "my time," irritated even more because once "my time" finally arrives, all I want is my bed, stressed because anything that I want or need to do in life or ministry or WHATEVER has to become an event where I need to get a sitter for the kids or weigh the pros and cons of if it will be worth doing while having two little rugrats by my side, frustrated that no pocket of my home can seem to be free of messes even for a moment because I have a whirling dervish of a crabby-as-of-late toddler, and just tired.....oh so tired....sleepless nights, refereeing squabbles, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning....
I have found myself wishing that my life were a little different, that my youngest's wiring and personality were a little more RELAXED...(holy cow, child!), that I could just get away.........
Yet in the midst of my whining, my Father is slowing me down and quietly whispering in my ear that I am HIS child.....and He does not treat ME this way. Christ expects no perfection from me, and He is not wishing for time off from me! God did not create me because He needed me; He created me because He wanted me. The act was based on the pure pleasure of His will. I am created to be His pleasure! He loves me for who I am, and He created me for relationship.
A pretty profound truth when looked at in the context of my relationship with my children.
This is the attitude I need to have with my boys. And this is my prayer for this new day. Why did we choose to have babies in the first place? Well, one of the reasons is because we WANTED to...pure and simple. Did I expect perfection from them when we made plans to become parents? Apparently so, by my actions sometimes! I am blessed beyond measure, and my life is full and rich. I love my life for what it is, and I love my boys for who they are. The truth is, no matter how crazy life is right now, I would have it no other way.
I just need to be reminded.....
And the enemy of my soul desires to have me. In Genesis 4:7, God told Cain that "if he did not do well, sin was crouching at the door; and its desire was for him, but he must master it." Satan waits for the weak moments. He desire is for my defeat, and he would like nothing better than for me to lose focus on my most important ministry of all - my family. The battle is so much bigger than my often very narrow minded focus.
I love II Chronicles 16:9 - "The eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." Strengthen us all Lord Jesus. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood......"
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" ~ Psalms 91:1,2
Anyway, this is going to be one of those posts....
This past month has been HARD. I'm still trying to put my finger on exactly why this has been the case, but I think that it's just been because of a whole bunch of little things - two moves and all of the packing and unpacking that goes with that with two wee ones, perpetual sickness that we just CAN NOT seen to shake, trying to adjust and readjust to new living arrangements, the somewhat instability of our current living situation - being unsure of how long we will be able to stay, both cars dying - one because of me and the other because who knows why, the kids adjusting to sleeping together thus making nights a little more sleepless and interrupted......I don't know. All seemingly little things in the grand scheme of life, but when they're added up together, life has just become stressful and a little overwhelming these past weeks.
Anyway, in the midst of these somewhat darker days for me, I am finding that the easiest place to release my stress and frustration is on my children. I find myself getting more frustrated with Jesse's busyness, selfishly irritated when Kaden comes out of his room at night after kisses and prayers, because now he's interrupting "my time," irritated even more because once "my time" finally arrives, all I want is my bed, stressed because anything that I want or need to do in life or ministry or WHATEVER has to become an event where I need to get a sitter for the kids or weigh the pros and cons of if it will be worth doing while having two little rugrats by my side, frustrated that no pocket of my home can seem to be free of messes even for a moment because I have a whirling dervish of a crabby-as-of-late toddler, and just tired.....oh so tired....sleepless nights, refereeing squabbles, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning....
I have found myself wishing that my life were a little different, that my youngest's wiring and personality were a little more RELAXED...(holy cow, child!), that I could just get away.........
Yet in the midst of my whining, my Father is slowing me down and quietly whispering in my ear that I am HIS child.....and He does not treat ME this way. Christ expects no perfection from me, and He is not wishing for time off from me! God did not create me because He needed me; He created me because He wanted me. The act was based on the pure pleasure of His will. I am created to be His pleasure! He loves me for who I am, and He created me for relationship.
A pretty profound truth when looked at in the context of my relationship with my children.
This is the attitude I need to have with my boys. And this is my prayer for this new day. Why did we choose to have babies in the first place? Well, one of the reasons is because we WANTED to...pure and simple. Did I expect perfection from them when we made plans to become parents? Apparently so, by my actions sometimes! I am blessed beyond measure, and my life is full and rich. I love my life for what it is, and I love my boys for who they are. The truth is, no matter how crazy life is right now, I would have it no other way.
I just need to be reminded.....
And the enemy of my soul desires to have me. In Genesis 4:7, God told Cain that "if he did not do well, sin was crouching at the door; and its desire was for him, but he must master it." Satan waits for the weak moments. He desire is for my defeat, and he would like nothing better than for me to lose focus on my most important ministry of all - my family. The battle is so much bigger than my often very narrow minded focus.
I love II Chronicles 16:9 - "The eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." Strengthen us all Lord Jesus. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood......"
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" ~ Psalms 91:1,2
Tis the Season
For warm cozies and lots of stories inside on chilly days
For winter berries in sap buckets.....oh, how I am addicted to winter berries!
For colds and runny noses that can't seem to be shaken
For homemade bread and chicken cooking slowly all day in the oven
For Mommy waking up three times each night to brothers waking each other while sharing the same room. Praises!
For both of our cars to die at once.
For friends to come to ME becaue I am stranded here alone all day.
For thankfulness amidst exhaustion.
For all of the boysies in my life that love to make perpetual MESSES!
For a new day where God's mercies are new and afresh!
Happy Thursday!
For winter berries in sap buckets.....oh, how I am addicted to winter berries!
For colds and runny noses that can't seem to be shaken
For homemade bread and chicken cooking slowly all day in the oven
For Mommy waking up three times each night to brothers waking each other while sharing the same room. Praises!
For both of our cars to die at once.
For friends to come to ME becaue I am stranded here alone all day.
For thankfulness amidst exhaustion.
For all of the boysies in my life that love to make perpetual MESSES!
For a new day where God's mercies are new and afresh!
Happy Thursday!
The New "Norm"
Well, I feel like we are settling in more and more each day. Our home still feels new and not worn in yet, but that will come with each day of play and baking and messes being made. I don't feel like the place smells like us, yet. Do you know what I mean? Whenever I walk into a friend or family member's home, I feel that it always smells like them. Ours still smells a little "hotel-y," but it will soon change, I'm thinking.
I am quickly learning what decor and placement of certain things is needing to be moved around and be changed, as my oh so curious climber and whirling dervish of a 16 month old has taken it upon himself to completely and totally explore his entire surroundings leaving no drawer unopened and no shower un-climbed in. Whew! He's a busy one! His version of play is often dumping out an entire bucket of blocks and swhishing through them with his feet, all the while throwing his head back in laughter; and then he's on to the next thing to conquer!
The boys are doing fairly well sharing a bedroom together. Jesse is definitly not the sleeper that Kaden is; but for the most part, Kaden sleeps through all of Jesse's chatter and singing that takes place for 45 minutes before he falls asleep in the evening and the fussing that takes place for about a half hour before I go and get him each morning. He thinks his day should start at 5:00. Seriously. That's still like Midnight to me! This Mama can't start her day before 5:30. That's just wrong.
Not for this reason alone, (but this reason definitly plays hugely into our decision!), we are choosing to put our t.v. away for a season. Horrors! :0) However, we all kind of got used to this from being out at camp for over a month and missing all of the season premiers of my fave shows, anyway....so it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I'm actually enjoying the quiet and the conversations and the extra sleep.
I'm actually hoping that once my funk wears off completely, I will be up for some crafting and projecting once the wee ones are abed at night. These days I'm good for about another half hour, and then I'm off to bed myself!
We have been enjoying the beautiful fall weather these past couple of days. Just yesterday, the boys and I took a stroll through the Bangor City Forest and brought home some glorious treasures: a ginormous night crawler that Jesse loved the snot out of and also let loose in the hotel lobby while guests were checking in, a cute little tree frog that we are going to let go this morning because he has no food, and three massive salamanders - one of which has a stub tail. That's a whole lotta coolness sitting on my kitchen table right now!
Today we have no big plans. We're all still feeling pretty sleepy. So, hopefully peace will reign supreme and lots of books will get read and the rain will hold off for another walk, maybe a trip to a local farm will take place with some friends, and the boys will sleep long and deeply for their afternoon naps!
Disclaimer: Usually I go back and proofread my posts, but Kev is waiting to take the laptop to work and a frog is loose in my kitchen......so, those are my excuses for any typos you may have encountered! Good times....good times.....
I am quickly learning what decor and placement of certain things is needing to be moved around and be changed, as my oh so curious climber and whirling dervish of a 16 month old has taken it upon himself to completely and totally explore his entire surroundings leaving no drawer unopened and no shower un-climbed in. Whew! He's a busy one! His version of play is often dumping out an entire bucket of blocks and swhishing through them with his feet, all the while throwing his head back in laughter; and then he's on to the next thing to conquer!
The boys are doing fairly well sharing a bedroom together. Jesse is definitly not the sleeper that Kaden is; but for the most part, Kaden sleeps through all of Jesse's chatter and singing that takes place for 45 minutes before he falls asleep in the evening and the fussing that takes place for about a half hour before I go and get him each morning. He thinks his day should start at 5:00. Seriously. That's still like Midnight to me! This Mama can't start her day before 5:30. That's just wrong.
Not for this reason alone, (but this reason definitly plays hugely into our decision!), we are choosing to put our t.v. away for a season. Horrors! :0) However, we all kind of got used to this from being out at camp for over a month and missing all of the season premiers of my fave shows, anyway....so it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I'm actually enjoying the quiet and the conversations and the extra sleep.
I'm actually hoping that once my funk wears off completely, I will be up for some crafting and projecting once the wee ones are abed at night. These days I'm good for about another half hour, and then I'm off to bed myself!
We have been enjoying the beautiful fall weather these past couple of days. Just yesterday, the boys and I took a stroll through the Bangor City Forest and brought home some glorious treasures: a ginormous night crawler that Jesse loved the snot out of and also let loose in the hotel lobby while guests were checking in, a cute little tree frog that we are going to let go this morning because he has no food, and three massive salamanders - one of which has a stub tail. That's a whole lotta coolness sitting on my kitchen table right now!
Today we have no big plans. We're all still feeling pretty sleepy. So, hopefully peace will reign supreme and lots of books will get read and the rain will hold off for another walk, maybe a trip to a local farm will take place with some friends, and the boys will sleep long and deeply for their afternoon naps!
Disclaimer: Usually I go back and proofread my posts, but Kev is waiting to take the laptop to work and a frog is loose in my kitchen......so, those are my excuses for any typos you may have encountered! Good times....good times.....
Back in Business!
No,I didn't die.....Whew!
Out of control. Crazy. Chaotic. Overwhelming. Nuts. Just a few words to describe the past month of the Booker's lives. Not something that I want to repeat again anytime soon, but we are finally here and nicely settled into our new apartment as of two nights ago! And I am happy to admit, that thanks to the help of some FANTASTIC friends and members of our new church family, what could have been even more overwhelming and nuts-o, went relatively smoothly, and I love our new digs!
Allow me to give a brief rundown of the past month of our lives.....
For the past two weeks, our entire family has been the sickest that we have ever been in a long time. The boys both had fevers, coughs, and runny noses; and Kaden kept breaking out in random bouts of hives. Kev and I had the good old fashioned body aches, exhaustion, and coughing, and we just could not seem to shake this bunch of yuck!
We got a "new to us" second hand vehicle, so that I could finally be able to go out and about with the kids whenever we wanted, and no more than a month after purchasing said vehicle, I got into a $5,400-worth-of-damage-accident, and it is now in the shop awaiting repairs. Praises.
And then there has just been everything that comes with the territory of making a life and career change: new people and places to get to know, old connections to try and re-establish, helping the kids transition into many new and different environments, missing the relationships that we had made the past three years of our lives, and acclimating to a new norm - realizing that even though we are "home," home is different than it was three years ago. All kinds of crazy stuff. Nothing bad - just lots of NEW.
Anyway, after being sick and essentially needing to move twice because of living out at a camp until our new apartment was no longer occupied, I called my Mom in tears - completely overwhelmed with life - and she did what she always does: she came to my rescue! She stayed with us for a week and gave the boys tons of loves and added security to their new surroundings and new little lives, and I was able to go and conquer our place - painting, cleaning, organizing, and decorating until all hours of the night, and THEN - because Mom was here to help, she let me sleep in every morning! Ahhh, sheer bliss, I tell you!
So, we are finally settled, with just a couple more boxes to unpack, I finally have connections to the World Wide Web once again, we are no longer eating off of paper plates, the boys have their own space with their own toys and beds, we have turned a corner with our sicknesses, and other than a wallpapered kitchen, which isn't so much my fave, I am happily settling into my new home that feels like "me!"
So my friends.....those of you who live nearby (and those of you who don't!), come on over for some coffee and a catch-up! I have missed you! It's all good! :0)
Out of control. Crazy. Chaotic. Overwhelming. Nuts. Just a few words to describe the past month of the Booker's lives. Not something that I want to repeat again anytime soon, but we are finally here and nicely settled into our new apartment as of two nights ago! And I am happy to admit, that thanks to the help of some FANTASTIC friends and members of our new church family, what could have been even more overwhelming and nuts-o, went relatively smoothly, and I love our new digs!
Allow me to give a brief rundown of the past month of our lives.....
For the past two weeks, our entire family has been the sickest that we have ever been in a long time. The boys both had fevers, coughs, and runny noses; and Kaden kept breaking out in random bouts of hives. Kev and I had the good old fashioned body aches, exhaustion, and coughing, and we just could not seem to shake this bunch of yuck!
We got a "new to us" second hand vehicle, so that I could finally be able to go out and about with the kids whenever we wanted, and no more than a month after purchasing said vehicle, I got into a $5,400-worth-of-damage-accident, and it is now in the shop awaiting repairs. Praises.
And then there has just been everything that comes with the territory of making a life and career change: new people and places to get to know, old connections to try and re-establish, helping the kids transition into many new and different environments, missing the relationships that we had made the past three years of our lives, and acclimating to a new norm - realizing that even though we are "home," home is different than it was three years ago. All kinds of crazy stuff. Nothing bad - just lots of NEW.
Anyway, after being sick and essentially needing to move twice because of living out at a camp until our new apartment was no longer occupied, I called my Mom in tears - completely overwhelmed with life - and she did what she always does: she came to my rescue! She stayed with us for a week and gave the boys tons of loves and added security to their new surroundings and new little lives, and I was able to go and conquer our place - painting, cleaning, organizing, and decorating until all hours of the night, and THEN - because Mom was here to help, she let me sleep in every morning! Ahhh, sheer bliss, I tell you!
So, we are finally settled, with just a couple more boxes to unpack, I finally have connections to the World Wide Web once again, we are no longer eating off of paper plates, the boys have their own space with their own toys and beds, we have turned a corner with our sicknesses, and other than a wallpapered kitchen, which isn't so much my fave, I am happily settling into my new home that feels like "me!"
So my friends.....those of you who live nearby (and those of you who don't!), come on over for some coffee and a catch-up! I have missed you! It's all good! :0)
We Made It!
Wheeeeeeew!
Well, we made it safe and sound to our homeland! :0) A dear friend from school travelled with us to help with the kids and take turns driving the Uhaul and the car. Our Caleb made the trip much more fun and uneventful, and he was also a huge help in making the transition from Philly to Maine very smooth and fun for the boys. We made the trip in about ten hours and other than me forgetting to strap Jesse in once - I looked in my rearview mirror and saw him STANDING in his carseat! - it went pretty smoothly!
Our new church had about twenty volunteers ready to help us unload the Uhaul the next day. What took Kev and Caleb two days to load by themselves, the church had unloaded in less than an hour! We stayed the first two nights with Kev's parents, and then we headed out to our landlord's camp on the lake. They are letting us stay there until our apartment is ready, and I tell you - it is SUCH a welcome respite after these past few weeks of crazyness. It is beautiful and quiet and peaceful, and absolutely lovely.
Some wonderful old friends came over to spend the day with me at the lake today. It was so nice - and weird - all at the same time. It's been three years, yet it felt like it was just yesterday when we last got together. That's a sign of true friendship! But, at the same time - in the years that I have been gone - four babies have been born and one more is one the way! So, many changes have taken place in all of our lives.
I'm still feeling somewhat "nomadic" and trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I am not just here for a visit, but to actually live again! It's exciting and crazy and weird all at the same time. For now - camp is home. In a few weeks, we'll have an aparment, and then after that - who knows? Home is where you hang your hat with your little family, and for now, we are soaking up the sunshine at the lake. More updates later.....
Well, we made it safe and sound to our homeland! :0) A dear friend from school travelled with us to help with the kids and take turns driving the Uhaul and the car. Our Caleb made the trip much more fun and uneventful, and he was also a huge help in making the transition from Philly to Maine very smooth and fun for the boys. We made the trip in about ten hours and other than me forgetting to strap Jesse in once - I looked in my rearview mirror and saw him STANDING in his carseat! - it went pretty smoothly!
Our new church had about twenty volunteers ready to help us unload the Uhaul the next day. What took Kev and Caleb two days to load by themselves, the church had unloaded in less than an hour! We stayed the first two nights with Kev's parents, and then we headed out to our landlord's camp on the lake. They are letting us stay there until our apartment is ready, and I tell you - it is SUCH a welcome respite after these past few weeks of crazyness. It is beautiful and quiet and peaceful, and absolutely lovely.
Some wonderful old friends came over to spend the day with me at the lake today. It was so nice - and weird - all at the same time. It's been three years, yet it felt like it was just yesterday when we last got together. That's a sign of true friendship! But, at the same time - in the years that I have been gone - four babies have been born and one more is one the way! So, many changes have taken place in all of our lives.
I'm still feeling somewhat "nomadic" and trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I am not just here for a visit, but to actually live again! It's exciting and crazy and weird all at the same time. For now - camp is home. In a few weeks, we'll have an aparment, and then after that - who knows? Home is where you hang your hat with your little family, and for now, we are soaking up the sunshine at the lake. More updates later.....
Signing Off for a Bit
Just a quick little blurb before our computer gets packed away into the UHaul. We are hitting the road for home on Sunday around 4:30 a.m. We would appreciate your prayers as we drive for 10+ hours with the wee ones and one honking huge truck! Hard to believe this chapter is over. Crazy crazy. Can't really seem to wrap my mind around it! Much love to all......
CHAOS!
One week from today we hit the road for HOME.
Hard to believe! I know I've said it before, but it's just crazy to me that we are arriving home with Jesse the exact same age that Kaden was when we left for this adventure. And now we're arriving home with TWO babes and three years of awesome memories and friendships made.
With my place no longer feeling like home - boxes and little corners of chaos everywhere, I am now really beginning to feel ready for the next leg of our adventure and for however many years this chapter may be for us!
I am in heavy nesting mode right now - culling and organizing, labeling and sorting....AND I LOVE IT! Aaaaah, a good move every few years does wonders for the amounts of STUFF one can accumulate! Much chucking abounds!
On the more bittersweet side of things, yesterday began the "firsts" of many "lasts" around here. We spent our last Sunday at our church out here which had become home to us in many ways. I never in a million years would have dreamed that I would have grown to love this little family so much or that they would have returned the love so freely and fully to our entire little family. There were many tears and hugs and promises of visits on both ends.....and now - just like that - that little chapter of our lives is over. Crazy.
Just overnite the school has come alive again with students returning and classes resuming. But, this year, we will not be among those crowds of craziness. As students are throwing away their cardboard boxes and unpacking their things to settle in, I am sneaking up behind them and stealing them back to refill with OUR things.....because in one week - seven days, count them! - we are headed HOME.
Hard to believe! I know I've said it before, but it's just crazy to me that we are arriving home with Jesse the exact same age that Kaden was when we left for this adventure. And now we're arriving home with TWO babes and three years of awesome memories and friendships made.
With my place no longer feeling like home - boxes and little corners of chaos everywhere, I am now really beginning to feel ready for the next leg of our adventure and for however many years this chapter may be for us!
I am in heavy nesting mode right now - culling and organizing, labeling and sorting....AND I LOVE IT! Aaaaah, a good move every few years does wonders for the amounts of STUFF one can accumulate! Much chucking abounds!
On the more bittersweet side of things, yesterday began the "firsts" of many "lasts" around here. We spent our last Sunday at our church out here which had become home to us in many ways. I never in a million years would have dreamed that I would have grown to love this little family so much or that they would have returned the love so freely and fully to our entire little family. There were many tears and hugs and promises of visits on both ends.....and now - just like that - that little chapter of our lives is over. Crazy.
Just overnite the school has come alive again with students returning and classes resuming. But, this year, we will not be among those crowds of craziness. As students are throwing away their cardboard boxes and unpacking their things to settle in, I am sneaking up behind them and stealing them back to refill with OUR things.....because in one week - seven days, count them! - we are headed HOME.
Dates
My eldest love and I went on a little date today to our local tearoom. I'm trying to get in all of the things that I really love in these last few days before we move, and I thought it would be fun if the two of us when for a wee snack. I got a sitter for Jesse, and then a friend from church with her two little girls who are good friends of Kaden's and are right around his age went out for a yummy lunch.
Kaden is secure enough in his manhood to drink out of princess cups with the other girls; although he drew the line at wearing dress up hats and costume jewelry! I was just as glad myself. :0) Anyway, it was tons of fun - we're both all about the food - so it was a really nice morning.
As the kids get older, more and more I am realizing the need to do individual things with each one of them on a regular basis. It's so easy to just be tag-teaming them both all throughout the day, that I often do not feel like I really had any great quality time with either - even though we spend all of each and every day together. While Jesse naps in the morning, Kaden and I always try to do something fun; and when Jesse wakes before Kaden in the afternoon, he and I get some just alone together, as well. So, things have been working out that way pretty well. I just want to start doing some more intentional things with each of them.
It's so easy to be involved with so many other "important" people all throughout our days and weeks, that by the time each day is done, it's easy to feel really fried and not have a whole lot left over in the evenings for the kids. We don't ever want our children to doubt their importance to us, and we don't want to give everyone else the best of ourselves. So, we're starting to try and find some creative ways to do some extras with the boys. For starters, Kev is going to start taking Kaden out to breakfast every Tuesday morning - just the two of them, so they're both pretty stoked about that. Jesse's still so young - he's content as long as he can get some snuggle time. But, while they are out, I am going to really focus on giving Jesse all of me and try hard to not be distracted by all the things that could be getting done! And I also promised Kaden that for our next date, we would do something a little more manly!
Life is a constant battle of busyness and distractions. It can spiral out of control so quickly, and it is so easy to forget about the things that are truly important. So, we're taking baby steps to try and safeguard against this. Our children are our priority, and after each other - they are our primary "ministry."
Kaden is secure enough in his manhood to drink out of princess cups with the other girls; although he drew the line at wearing dress up hats and costume jewelry! I was just as glad myself. :0) Anyway, it was tons of fun - we're both all about the food - so it was a really nice morning.
As the kids get older, more and more I am realizing the need to do individual things with each one of them on a regular basis. It's so easy to just be tag-teaming them both all throughout the day, that I often do not feel like I really had any great quality time with either - even though we spend all of each and every day together. While Jesse naps in the morning, Kaden and I always try to do something fun; and when Jesse wakes before Kaden in the afternoon, he and I get some just alone together, as well. So, things have been working out that way pretty well. I just want to start doing some more intentional things with each of them.
It's so easy to be involved with so many other "important" people all throughout our days and weeks, that by the time each day is done, it's easy to feel really fried and not have a whole lot left over in the evenings for the kids. We don't ever want our children to doubt their importance to us, and we don't want to give everyone else the best of ourselves. So, we're starting to try and find some creative ways to do some extras with the boys. For starters, Kev is going to start taking Kaden out to breakfast every Tuesday morning - just the two of them, so they're both pretty stoked about that. Jesse's still so young - he's content as long as he can get some snuggle time. But, while they are out, I am going to really focus on giving Jesse all of me and try hard to not be distracted by all the things that could be getting done! And I also promised Kaden that for our next date, we would do something a little more manly!
Life is a constant battle of busyness and distractions. It can spiral out of control so quickly, and it is so easy to forget about the things that are truly important. So, we're taking baby steps to try and safeguard against this. Our children are our priority, and after each other - they are our primary "ministry."
Just Checking In
The weather here has been very Maine-like the past couple of days. I have actually needed my sweatshirt in the evenings! Happy for me as the sun makes me hot and itchy. Little Jesse has a couple of spots on his back and legs; I'm praying that it spreads no farther. I can tell that it's bothering him a bit. Poor little guy. As miserable as it's made me, I would gladly take another round of the stuff if I could spare him the same misery.
As a result of being on all of this steroid stuff, my baby has been quite suddenly weaned from his Mommy. We had been slowly working towards this anyway, but it actually took place far more quickly than I would have chosen. Jesse completely rolled with it and has done just fine; but I have been a little sad! One more milestone checked off toward becoming a big boy. I've been much more sentimental this time around......:0(
Well, we settled on where we will be living for at least the first little bit when we move. A Christian family who we know and love in Brewer, Maine bought a motel awhile back and completely renovated it. It is now entirely Christian owned and operated with a little coffee shop downstairs aimed to cater to the high school and college age crowd. They have made some of the rooms into one and two bedroom apartments, and they'll rent one to us at a really great price with zero committment for how long we have to stay. Should we find a house within three months (here's hoping!), they have absolutely no problem with that. We probably won't look for a house for a little while - until we get our feet back under us again - but we like having the freedom to move whenever we feel ready.
The only kicker is that the apartment won't be ready until the end of September, and we are moving home on September 1st. So, to solve that problem, they have offered us their camp out on Pushaw Lake - at the same rent - until the apartment is ready. While part of me wants to move only once and get immediately settled in as soon as we get home, the other part of me is trying really hard to just go with the flow and view this as just an extended vacation. We've been to their camp before and love it, and we'll finally be reunited again with our beloved canoe, and lake water, and nature, and the sounds of frogs croaking at night.....so, I'm rolling with it. The boy's routines are going to be completely thrown anyway with all of this crazyness; they might as well be thrown some place fun and campy first! It'll be Heaven for them out there!
Okay, I'm still itching like MAD! And the stuff is still spreading! Shouldn't it be subsiding somewhat, by now? Merciful Heavens - my legs will never look normal again, I fear! I'm going nuts....must go find my Caladryl. Pray for my sanity.....
As a result of being on all of this steroid stuff, my baby has been quite suddenly weaned from his Mommy. We had been slowly working towards this anyway, but it actually took place far more quickly than I would have chosen. Jesse completely rolled with it and has done just fine; but I have been a little sad! One more milestone checked off toward becoming a big boy. I've been much more sentimental this time around......:0(
Well, we settled on where we will be living for at least the first little bit when we move. A Christian family who we know and love in Brewer, Maine bought a motel awhile back and completely renovated it. It is now entirely Christian owned and operated with a little coffee shop downstairs aimed to cater to the high school and college age crowd. They have made some of the rooms into one and two bedroom apartments, and they'll rent one to us at a really great price with zero committment for how long we have to stay. Should we find a house within three months (here's hoping!), they have absolutely no problem with that. We probably won't look for a house for a little while - until we get our feet back under us again - but we like having the freedom to move whenever we feel ready.
The only kicker is that the apartment won't be ready until the end of September, and we are moving home on September 1st. So, to solve that problem, they have offered us their camp out on Pushaw Lake - at the same rent - until the apartment is ready. While part of me wants to move only once and get immediately settled in as soon as we get home, the other part of me is trying really hard to just go with the flow and view this as just an extended vacation. We've been to their camp before and love it, and we'll finally be reunited again with our beloved canoe, and lake water, and nature, and the sounds of frogs croaking at night.....so, I'm rolling with it. The boy's routines are going to be completely thrown anyway with all of this crazyness; they might as well be thrown some place fun and campy first! It'll be Heaven for them out there!
Okay, I'm still itching like MAD! And the stuff is still spreading! Shouldn't it be subsiding somewhat, by now? Merciful Heavens - my legs will never look normal again, I fear! I'm going nuts....must go find my Caladryl. Pray for my sanity.....
Day Four of the Plague
I have determined that my body has a far higher tolerance for pain than for itching. I would not wish this on my worst enemy......except Satan. I do, however, feel like today I have rounded a corner. I think the steroids are starting to take effect. Praise the Lord above. I still look like a monster, but at least I am not making a scene in public by frantically scratching and looking like I am about to go INSANE!
In other news, we're having a massive yard sale tomorrow along with some of our friends. That's always fun. Oh, how I love getting rid of things!.....except for my couches and chairs. I do like to be able to sit on things. Kev wants to get rid of EVERYTHING and start over fresh when we move home. To which I say: "My Love...whatever are we going to sit our bunsies on in the interim? (interum?)" He didn't seem too worried about that. I, however, happen to enjoy sitting on things other than the floor when I eat and watch t.v. He still has a few hours to convince me.......
In other news, we're having a massive yard sale tomorrow along with some of our friends. That's always fun. Oh, how I love getting rid of things!.....except for my couches and chairs. I do like to be able to sit on things. Kev wants to get rid of EVERYTHING and start over fresh when we move home. To which I say: "My Love...whatever are we going to sit our bunsies on in the interim? (interum?)" He didn't seem too worried about that. I, however, happen to enjoy sitting on things other than the floor when I eat and watch t.v. He still has a few hours to convince me.......
Slowly Going INSANE!!!
Okay. For the first time in my life I have contracted some sort of poison ivy or oak or SOMETHING. And I am about to go mad! It started out with just a couple of spots on both ankles and arms. That was two days ago. I woke up today with oozing blisters, hives, and splotches over my entire body and finally could take it no more. I went to the doctor who gave me some sort of steroid shot and a prescription for a stronger hydrocortizone cream than what you can get over the counter and now I am waiting for it to take effect. Waiting....waiting.....waiting.....
Must.crawl.out.of.my.skin................
Must.crawl.out.of.my.skin................
Quirks!
Two in one day, eh? Not bad - we're making up for lost time, here.
Okay, so I've been tagged by Shay, and here are the rules:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they've been tagged.
Okay, I've been thinking about this all day, and this is the best that I can come up with....
MY UN-SPECTACULAR QUIRKS!
1. I do not consider myself a "girly girl," yet I don't believe a day goes by where I do not use makeup and hairspray.
2. I can make my tongue REALLY fat and also make it ripple in waves.
3. There is very little that grosses me out, and my standards of sanitation are much lower than most, I am sure. To this day, I would be sorely tempted to eat a peice of candy that I found on the grocery store floor, if Kev wouldn't threaten to disown me, and if four other little eyes wouldn't quickly follow suit! (Jesse takes after me apparently: Kev had to fish a worm out of his mouth tonight. On second thought, I think his standards are even lower....).
4. I talk a mile a minute and can keep up with the best of anyone in a conversation, yet I don't really like talking on the phone.
5. I absolutely love giving birth - every part of it! Granted, the intense part of my labors have both been under five hours, but I love all that comes with that whole process - that whole experience. The feelings and emotions both during AND in those immediate moments afterwards are so powerful, so beautiful, so intimate, so strong......Probably the most natural high one could ever have!
6. I am slightly addicted to all things old, wooden, and earthy such as: bittersweet berries to be made into wreaths and old boxes and trunks. It truly is an addiction - just ask Kev. He had to draw the line awhile back!
Okay, so there's more of me than you probably ever wanted to know!
Here's a big ole tag to you six:
1. Jen
2. Shannie, (I'll let you link the fellow Mainers!)
3. Angie
4. Kristi
5. Esther - (You can tag team with Shannie - that should get everyone!)
6. Yolanda
Okay, so I've been tagged by Shay, and here are the rules:
1. Link back to the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they've been tagged.
Okay, I've been thinking about this all day, and this is the best that I can come up with....
MY UN-SPECTACULAR QUIRKS!
1. I do not consider myself a "girly girl," yet I don't believe a day goes by where I do not use makeup and hairspray.
2. I can make my tongue REALLY fat and also make it ripple in waves.
3. There is very little that grosses me out, and my standards of sanitation are much lower than most, I am sure. To this day, I would be sorely tempted to eat a peice of candy that I found on the grocery store floor, if Kev wouldn't threaten to disown me, and if four other little eyes wouldn't quickly follow suit! (Jesse takes after me apparently: Kev had to fish a worm out of his mouth tonight. On second thought, I think his standards are even lower....).
4. I talk a mile a minute and can keep up with the best of anyone in a conversation, yet I don't really like talking on the phone.
5. I absolutely love giving birth - every part of it! Granted, the intense part of my labors have both been under five hours, but I love all that comes with that whole process - that whole experience. The feelings and emotions both during AND in those immediate moments afterwards are so powerful, so beautiful, so intimate, so strong......Probably the most natural high one could ever have!
6. I am slightly addicted to all things old, wooden, and earthy such as: bittersweet berries to be made into wreaths and old boxes and trunks. It truly is an addiction - just ask Kev. He had to draw the line awhile back!
Okay, so there's more of me than you probably ever wanted to know!
Here's a big ole tag to you six:
1. Jen
2. Shannie, (I'll let you link the fellow Mainers!)
3. Angie
4. Kristi
5. Esther - (You can tag team with Shannie - that should get everyone!)
6. Yolanda
Restoring Order
Well, it's been exactly one week since my last post. Life around here has been somewhat crazy as we're trying to tie up all of our loose ends down here before heading HOME TO MAINE!! It's crazy - we can still hardly believe that our journey here is almost over and that's it's time to begin another chapter in our lives. We will be moving home with Jesse being exactly the same age that Kaden was when we first moved out here! These past three years have totally flown by for us, but when I look at my children, I can how long it has actually been. Kaden wasn't even walking when we first moved...and now he's FOUR!
So, these past few days have been spent getting one last doctor's visit in for the kids, trying to prep for a yardsale, organizing, organizing, organizing...and of course a family trip to Cabella's! We've got to get in all of these "one last times!"
Anyway.....on to the title of this post.
These past couple of months - since Jesse has started walking - have started to feel a wee bit out of control for me. Before we went to Maine for our last visit, I was formulating some plans on how to become a little more structured with the kids, but was hesitant to put anything into practice until we settled back into our rhythm here. These past few weeks since we've been back, we put our plan into action, and I am very encouraged with the results.
I have been slightly overwhelmed by Jesse's busyness as of late. Neither Kev or I feel that he is bad.....he is just BUSY! (Oh so very busy, be still my heart). From the moment his eyes open, he is "on." And I have to help him turn "off;" otherwise I think he would just be like the perpetual Energizer Bunny who keeps going and going and going.......All......Day......Long!
I will never expect Jesse to be like Kaden. There could never be too more different (more different?) little boys who share the same genes! I absolutely love this little boy's strength and curiosity and intense desire to conquer life! I never ever want to crush his little spirit with unrealistic expectations, and I don't want to change him. He totally delights us and adds quite the zest to our family! However, this wee one also has a very very strong will which does need a little more help to be reigned in and "shaped," shall we say.
Jesse has a very hard time sitting still and focusing on anything for any matter of time. He also has the tendency to be quite clingy and demanding at times. So, one thing we have started implementing every day is "playpen time." Jesse wakes up about an hour earlier than all the rest of us. So, when he wakes up, I'll nurse him and then put him in his pack and play with a bunch of toys and a little snack, and then I'll get my shower and get my head on straight for the day while my other boys sleep. It took about a week, but he now plays happily - by himself, this is key - for at least a half hour and often much longer! This has brought great peace and harmony to our little family, and it has really helped in teaching Jesse to entertain himself for a period of time, and to also be content in a contained area for a period of time.
There are other little things that we've been doing, as well, but this has been, by far, the greatest encouragement to me and quite a victory, as well. Jesse DOES NOT like to be confined, in any way, and he does not like to be alone. And to see him play happily and stay focused on a few toys for a significant amount of time is very very nice!
So, these past few days have been spent getting one last doctor's visit in for the kids, trying to prep for a yardsale, organizing, organizing, organizing...and of course a family trip to Cabella's! We've got to get in all of these "one last times!"
Anyway.....on to the title of this post.
These past couple of months - since Jesse has started walking - have started to feel a wee bit out of control for me. Before we went to Maine for our last visit, I was formulating some plans on how to become a little more structured with the kids, but was hesitant to put anything into practice until we settled back into our rhythm here. These past few weeks since we've been back, we put our plan into action, and I am very encouraged with the results.
I have been slightly overwhelmed by Jesse's busyness as of late. Neither Kev or I feel that he is bad.....he is just BUSY! (Oh so very busy, be still my heart). From the moment his eyes open, he is "on." And I have to help him turn "off;" otherwise I think he would just be like the perpetual Energizer Bunny who keeps going and going and going.......All......Day......Long!
I will never expect Jesse to be like Kaden. There could never be too more different (more different?) little boys who share the same genes! I absolutely love this little boy's strength and curiosity and intense desire to conquer life! I never ever want to crush his little spirit with unrealistic expectations, and I don't want to change him. He totally delights us and adds quite the zest to our family! However, this wee one also has a very very strong will which does need a little more help to be reigned in and "shaped," shall we say.
Jesse has a very hard time sitting still and focusing on anything for any matter of time. He also has the tendency to be quite clingy and demanding at times. So, one thing we have started implementing every day is "playpen time." Jesse wakes up about an hour earlier than all the rest of us. So, when he wakes up, I'll nurse him and then put him in his pack and play with a bunch of toys and a little snack, and then I'll get my shower and get my head on straight for the day while my other boys sleep. It took about a week, but he now plays happily - by himself, this is key - for at least a half hour and often much longer! This has brought great peace and harmony to our little family, and it has really helped in teaching Jesse to entertain himself for a period of time, and to also be content in a contained area for a period of time.
There are other little things that we've been doing, as well, but this has been, by far, the greatest encouragement to me and quite a victory, as well. Jesse DOES NOT like to be confined, in any way, and he does not like to be alone. And to see him play happily and stay focused on a few toys for a significant amount of time is very very nice!
Weekends!
It's scuzzy out today. We planned to go and pick some peaches and blackberries at our local orchard this evening, but we may just have to stay home and chillax whilst it thunders and rains outside.
Yesterday, out little fam kicked it for the day and went to a county fair over in New Jersey. Kev heard about it on the news, so we decided to go and scope it out. Both boys are at a really fun age to do something like this. Kaden loves the rides -even the scary ones - and there is enough action going on for Jesse so that he is very entertained and content while Kaden and I race from ride to ride. Daddy doesn't like the rides so much - but we are adrenaline lovers. It took me about fifteen minutes to convince this kid that he would not like the Gravitron! Do you all remember that ride? He thought for sure that he would love it, but we stuck with the kiddie coasters and little car rides, instead. No hurlage today, thank you.
Both boys loved the petting zoo, which, by the way, is my most favorite part of the whole fair. And of course - who can resist the yummy and oh so good for you fair food? De-lish!
But the highlight of the day was the "toddler races" that took place at high noon.
Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine - (hypothetically, of course) - two highly competative parents with a one year old who, at his well-child checkup the day before was told that at his age they only expect babies this young to be standing and possibly taking a toddling step or two. (Kaden didn't take a single step until well over fifteen months of age, by the way). WELL! Imagine my swollen head at the knowledge that our Jesse is not only running, but he is also able to climb on and off of all of our chairs, couches, and beds!
Soooooo, when we heard of this toddler "race" I was like: "Oh my word! Jesse is so totally going to kick butt in these races! Let's sign him up!" Kev was completely up for it, so we got some racing numbers slapped to his back and Daddy and he even had a couple of practice runs where Kev would run aways away and yell for Jesse to "Come to Daddy!" Kaden and I sat back and sized up our competition, and I pictured our very first trophy sitting on the shelf - completely convinced that we had this race in the bag!
WELL! When the race began we were told that one parent could wait at the finish line, and one person could "run" with their toddler. We could do anything but "help" them physically. (Looking back, I totally should have been waving his favorite snack in front of his eyes...then for SURE we would've won). ANYWAY.....He was raring to go, but I had to hold onto him to keep him from cheating and getting a jump start. Well, this got him all in a funk, so when the starting whistle blew, Jesse just stood there and crabbed at me for a good ten seconds! Then, when he finally realized that he was actually free and could run, he just mosied along like a little snail, he crossed over about four other lanes, he stopped and tried to flip over a wooden sign, he died laughing and walked like a drunkard, and HE CAME IN DEAD LAST!
Oh my word! We were laughing so hard, I almost peed my pants! You should have heard us cheering and seen how we acted like clowns trying everything in our power to get him to RUN to us! He would have nothing of it, and he absolutly loved making us look like idiots! He was so cute and so proud of himself! It was SO. MUCH. FUN!!!
Yesterday, out little fam kicked it for the day and went to a county fair over in New Jersey. Kev heard about it on the news, so we decided to go and scope it out. Both boys are at a really fun age to do something like this. Kaden loves the rides -even the scary ones - and there is enough action going on for Jesse so that he is very entertained and content while Kaden and I race from ride to ride. Daddy doesn't like the rides so much - but we are adrenaline lovers. It took me about fifteen minutes to convince this kid that he would not like the Gravitron! Do you all remember that ride? He thought for sure that he would love it, but we stuck with the kiddie coasters and little car rides, instead. No hurlage today, thank you.
Both boys loved the petting zoo, which, by the way, is my most favorite part of the whole fair. And of course - who can resist the yummy and oh so good for you fair food? De-lish!
But the highlight of the day was the "toddler races" that took place at high noon.
Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine - (hypothetically, of course) - two highly competative parents with a one year old who, at his well-child checkup the day before was told that at his age they only expect babies this young to be standing and possibly taking a toddling step or two. (Kaden didn't take a single step until well over fifteen months of age, by the way). WELL! Imagine my swollen head at the knowledge that our Jesse is not only running, but he is also able to climb on and off of all of our chairs, couches, and beds!
Soooooo, when we heard of this toddler "race" I was like: "Oh my word! Jesse is so totally going to kick butt in these races! Let's sign him up!" Kev was completely up for it, so we got some racing numbers slapped to his back and Daddy and he even had a couple of practice runs where Kev would run aways away and yell for Jesse to "Come to Daddy!" Kaden and I sat back and sized up our competition, and I pictured our very first trophy sitting on the shelf - completely convinced that we had this race in the bag!
WELL! When the race began we were told that one parent could wait at the finish line, and one person could "run" with their toddler. We could do anything but "help" them physically. (Looking back, I totally should have been waving his favorite snack in front of his eyes...then for SURE we would've won). ANYWAY.....He was raring to go, but I had to hold onto him to keep him from cheating and getting a jump start. Well, this got him all in a funk, so when the starting whistle blew, Jesse just stood there and crabbed at me for a good ten seconds! Then, when he finally realized that he was actually free and could run, he just mosied along like a little snail, he crossed over about four other lanes, he stopped and tried to flip over a wooden sign, he died laughing and walked like a drunkard, and HE CAME IN DEAD LAST!
Oh my word! We were laughing so hard, I almost peed my pants! You should have heard us cheering and seen how we acted like clowns trying everything in our power to get him to RUN to us! He would have nothing of it, and he absolutly loved making us look like idiots! He was so cute and so proud of himself! It was SO. MUCH. FUN!!!
Emotions....
I'm not a huge fan of change. Really, no matter what it is - initially, I don't like it. In fact, I feel like I am almost always a fairly optimistic person, but when change is on the horizon I become quite pensive and thoughtful - always imagining the worst! Weird.
This has happened enough times in the course of our marriage, that it doesn't weird me out anymore, and Kev knows me well enough to be very gentle with me during this time, so it's good. I think it must be the fear of the unknown and what the future is going to bring. Maybe it's because I'm not in control and that's nerve-wracking. I'm always thinking and wondering about how this is going to the change the dynamic of my family and what it may look like for Kev's and my relationship. The funny thing is - and I should know this by now - is that things always turn out fine, and once the change actually takes place I adapt just fine, and I always grow to LOVE it. God has proven Himself enough times in my life to show me that He ALWAYS does above and beyond all that I could ever ask or imagine in my finite little mind. He ALWAYS takes care of me. He NEVER leaves me or forsakes me. I am NEVER left alone.
Yet, I still am fearful and I still worry.
I remember the first time I was a camp counselor......We would get a new crew of kids each Monday, and every Sunday night I would cry because I had just gotten used to the old crew of kids - we'd just worked out all of our kinks, and I had just gotten to know and love them - and now I had to start all over again. On our way to youth group for the very first time, I honestly thought I was going to hurl - I was so terrified of walking into the teen room with all of those kids that would be staring at me and sizing me up! When we bought our new house, I cried for the first week because it was out in the country and I felt so cut off from all of my friends! I remember the first time we held Bible study at our new place, everyone just kept commenting on how far out we lived, and I was sure that no one would ever come out to visit me! The entire nine months that I was pregnant with Kaden, I was very pensive - wondering if I was going to be a good mom and worrying that it would change Kev's and my relationship! And don't get me started on the grieving that took place when Kev announced his dreams to uproot and move us out to Philly! Whew! Weeping and gnashing of teeth! Well, not quite, but close! Weird, eh? Yet, once the newness of all of these things wore off - I loved the new chapter and I thrived on the new change that had just taken place in my life.
So, here we are yet again, on the cusp of another change for our little family. The pensive, thoughtful side of me is once again thinking of the potential negative things that could take place: how stressful the packing and move could be with two little ones, not knowing where we are going to live for the interim until we find another house, saying good-bye to our church out here and all of the friends we have made, going home to another church and not the one we've always known - what if I don't see my old friends as much? What if the church doesn't like us? What if my boys become hoodlums - and Kev is supposed to be the "Pastor of FAMILY Ministries?!!" And it's been three years since we've lived in Maine.....I've changed...everyone's changed. It will be different, you know? What if? What if? What if?
Yet, quietly and softly, the Lord continues to remind me of how He has always been so faithful to me in the past. He calms my worries and He stills my soul. He calls me gently to Himself and asks me to simply trust. He is good. He is my Daddy. And He loves me more than I will ever know. He will take care of me. Be still, Amy. Be still and know.......
This has happened enough times in the course of our marriage, that it doesn't weird me out anymore, and Kev knows me well enough to be very gentle with me during this time, so it's good. I think it must be the fear of the unknown and what the future is going to bring. Maybe it's because I'm not in control and that's nerve-wracking. I'm always thinking and wondering about how this is going to the change the dynamic of my family and what it may look like for Kev's and my relationship. The funny thing is - and I should know this by now - is that things always turn out fine, and once the change actually takes place I adapt just fine, and I always grow to LOVE it. God has proven Himself enough times in my life to show me that He ALWAYS does above and beyond all that I could ever ask or imagine in my finite little mind. He ALWAYS takes care of me. He NEVER leaves me or forsakes me. I am NEVER left alone.
Yet, I still am fearful and I still worry.
I remember the first time I was a camp counselor......We would get a new crew of kids each Monday, and every Sunday night I would cry because I had just gotten used to the old crew of kids - we'd just worked out all of our kinks, and I had just gotten to know and love them - and now I had to start all over again. On our way to youth group for the very first time, I honestly thought I was going to hurl - I was so terrified of walking into the teen room with all of those kids that would be staring at me and sizing me up! When we bought our new house, I cried for the first week because it was out in the country and I felt so cut off from all of my friends! I remember the first time we held Bible study at our new place, everyone just kept commenting on how far out we lived, and I was sure that no one would ever come out to visit me! The entire nine months that I was pregnant with Kaden, I was very pensive - wondering if I was going to be a good mom and worrying that it would change Kev's and my relationship! And don't get me started on the grieving that took place when Kev announced his dreams to uproot and move us out to Philly! Whew! Weeping and gnashing of teeth! Well, not quite, but close! Weird, eh? Yet, once the newness of all of these things wore off - I loved the new chapter and I thrived on the new change that had just taken place in my life.
So, here we are yet again, on the cusp of another change for our little family. The pensive, thoughtful side of me is once again thinking of the potential negative things that could take place: how stressful the packing and move could be with two little ones, not knowing where we are going to live for the interim until we find another house, saying good-bye to our church out here and all of the friends we have made, going home to another church and not the one we've always known - what if I don't see my old friends as much? What if the church doesn't like us? What if my boys become hoodlums - and Kev is supposed to be the "Pastor of FAMILY Ministries?!!" And it's been three years since we've lived in Maine.....I've changed...everyone's changed. It will be different, you know? What if? What if? What if?
Yet, quietly and softly, the Lord continues to remind me of how He has always been so faithful to me in the past. He calms my worries and He stills my soul. He calls me gently to Himself and asks me to simply trust. He is good. He is my Daddy. And He loves me more than I will ever know. He will take care of me. Be still, Amy. Be still and know.......
Change is on the Horizon.....
A decision has been made.
A little less than two weeks ago, we went to Calvary Baptist Church in Brewer, Maine and Kev candidated for the positions of Pastor of Family Ministries and Worship Leader. The whole thing seems completely surreal looking back on it....
We had been back in PA for just a little over a month - having just checked out another job opportunity in Maine - and felt that we were probably going to make the decision to stay out here for one more year. I was accepted and registered to start grad school, and Kev planned to work at our church here leading worship and doing leadership development until I finished. This was the plan, yet both of us felt a bit uneasy with the decision that we had made. I felt restless and worried - wondering how adding a substantial class load to my plate would affect my family and especially my little boys, and Kev just didn't have any real peace either. Staying out here would mean the need for him to pick up another part-time job, as well, which would have just made life very busy and potentially quite stressful.
Anyway, a sweet girl (go, Anna!) facebooked us with a one-liner that simply said her church was looking for a Pastor of Family Ministries and we should check it out. Almost on a whim, Kev emailed his resume to the pastor thinking we would have nothing to lose. Our families had already reconciled themselves to the idea of us staying out here an extra year; if nothing came of this, no one would know the difference. Not five minutes went by before the pastor called Kev to talk about this opening. This led to a conference call with all of their deacons. And long story short, we found ourselves heading home again!
We had a week-end full of meetings with all of the various ministry teams that the church has, eating meals with the pastor and his wife and the deacons and their wives, spending a day at a camp on a lake with all of the teens and young families of the church, and then on Sunday, Kev spoke in the morning and led worship and a question and answer time in the evening. It was a FULL week-end, but it was good. We got a really good feel for the church and its people, and they had lots of chances to get to see us in all of our glory......including Kaden picking his nose the entire time our family was on stage getting introduced and Jesse biting Kaden while having lunch at the pastor's house. Fantastic. Yes - ALL our glory! We surely are human indeed. Oh, how embarassing for us all!.......:0)
Anyway - crazy crazy times. The pastor called back with news that the church wants us to come, and Kev called him today with a "yes." Oh my. Still processing. It's exciting and terrifying all at the same time! More to come a little later....this was just a "bare bones" post, but for me, nothing is ever bare bones!
A little less than two weeks ago, we went to Calvary Baptist Church in Brewer, Maine and Kev candidated for the positions of Pastor of Family Ministries and Worship Leader. The whole thing seems completely surreal looking back on it....
We had been back in PA for just a little over a month - having just checked out another job opportunity in Maine - and felt that we were probably going to make the decision to stay out here for one more year. I was accepted and registered to start grad school, and Kev planned to work at our church here leading worship and doing leadership development until I finished. This was the plan, yet both of us felt a bit uneasy with the decision that we had made. I felt restless and worried - wondering how adding a substantial class load to my plate would affect my family and especially my little boys, and Kev just didn't have any real peace either. Staying out here would mean the need for him to pick up another part-time job, as well, which would have just made life very busy and potentially quite stressful.
Anyway, a sweet girl (go, Anna!) facebooked us with a one-liner that simply said her church was looking for a Pastor of Family Ministries and we should check it out. Almost on a whim, Kev emailed his resume to the pastor thinking we would have nothing to lose. Our families had already reconciled themselves to the idea of us staying out here an extra year; if nothing came of this, no one would know the difference. Not five minutes went by before the pastor called Kev to talk about this opening. This led to a conference call with all of their deacons. And long story short, we found ourselves heading home again!
We had a week-end full of meetings with all of the various ministry teams that the church has, eating meals with the pastor and his wife and the deacons and their wives, spending a day at a camp on a lake with all of the teens and young families of the church, and then on Sunday, Kev spoke in the morning and led worship and a question and answer time in the evening. It was a FULL week-end, but it was good. We got a really good feel for the church and its people, and they had lots of chances to get to see us in all of our glory......including Kaden picking his nose the entire time our family was on stage getting introduced and Jesse biting Kaden while having lunch at the pastor's house. Fantastic. Yes - ALL our glory! We surely are human indeed. Oh, how embarassing for us all!.......:0)
Anyway - crazy crazy times. The pastor called back with news that the church wants us to come, and Kev called him today with a "yes." Oh my. Still processing. It's exciting and terrifying all at the same time! More to come a little later....this was just a "bare bones" post, but for me, nothing is ever bare bones!
12 Hours of Driving in a Car Together Later....
We are finally home. Yeesh.
This was THE longest ride home. Ever. Oh my living word. We hit significant traffic in three different places. We had a hold-up because of two accidents. When we sat down to eat at Cracker Barrel at our half-way point, the fire alarm went off so the entire restaurant had to evacuate. And the last half hour of the drive, Jesse screamed bloody murder and I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to lose it in our rental car! That was our day in a nutshell! Good times. Good times.
Anyhoo - we are home. Clothes are unpacked. Boys are bathed and abed. Clothes are ironed for church. And I am catching up at the computer for a few!
I will update tons later. As many of you know, we went home to candidate at a church this past week. It was a crazy busy trip, but a great one, as well. On the way up, we celebrated our 9 year anniversary by staying at a nice little hotel in Sturbridge, Mass. The boys were with us, but it was tons of fun. This place was in a great little town, and right on the property there was a lake to swim in with a little beach. This was HUGE for us as there are no lakes or rivers to swim in around here. How I love the feel of mud squishing between my toes and not being able to see what's on the bottom because the water is so cloudy! Love it!
Although most of the trip was for "business" purposes, we still managed to squeeze in some lovely four-wheeling, frogging, and bon-firing with my family, and a great family day to Campden with Kev's fam. We ate at our fave coffee shop and we walked the mile-long pier to the lighthouse in the rain; and the boys thought that was just the coolest!
In a couple of days, when the fog has lifted, I shall update more on the goings on in our lives. But for now, my bed - oh my glorious bed - beckons me loudly.....
This was THE longest ride home. Ever. Oh my living word. We hit significant traffic in three different places. We had a hold-up because of two accidents. When we sat down to eat at Cracker Barrel at our half-way point, the fire alarm went off so the entire restaurant had to evacuate. And the last half hour of the drive, Jesse screamed bloody murder and I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to lose it in our rental car! That was our day in a nutshell! Good times. Good times.
Anyhoo - we are home. Clothes are unpacked. Boys are bathed and abed. Clothes are ironed for church. And I am catching up at the computer for a few!
I will update tons later. As many of you know, we went home to candidate at a church this past week. It was a crazy busy trip, but a great one, as well. On the way up, we celebrated our 9 year anniversary by staying at a nice little hotel in Sturbridge, Mass. The boys were with us, but it was tons of fun. This place was in a great little town, and right on the property there was a lake to swim in with a little beach. This was HUGE for us as there are no lakes or rivers to swim in around here. How I love the feel of mud squishing between my toes and not being able to see what's on the bottom because the water is so cloudy! Love it!
Although most of the trip was for "business" purposes, we still managed to squeeze in some lovely four-wheeling, frogging, and bon-firing with my family, and a great family day to Campden with Kev's fam. We ate at our fave coffee shop and we walked the mile-long pier to the lighthouse in the rain; and the boys thought that was just the coolest!
In a couple of days, when the fog has lifted, I shall update more on the goings on in our lives. But for now, my bed - oh my glorious bed - beckons me loudly.....
Savorings
I got a reminder today (from a friend whose boys are now grown and out of the family nest) about just how quickly time does fly in these child-raising years. I've heard the quote often stated: "The days are long but the years are fleeting!" How true is that?! Some days I feel like bedtime just can't come quickly enough, but then I look at both of my boys and wonder how on earth did Kaden get to be so long that he almost hangs off the bed, and where in the world did my newborn go? I have a toddler who is RUNNING now! WHAT?
So, in honor of sweet Brenda who reminded me of the "fleeting-ness" of childhood, these are just a few snippets of things that I want to savor and drink in from my wee ones while they are still kind of wee.....
~ Nursing my baby
~ Smooching all of Jesse's neck rolls
~ Reading story after story after story to Kaden
~ Hearing Kaden beg me to scratch his back
~ Having Kaden come and get in bed with us in the morning
~ Jesse toddling up to me and draping his body around my legs
~ "Kisses and squeezes" and I love you signs from Kaden at every nap and bedtime
~ Family days where the boys still want to be with us
~ Being our boy's most favorite people on the planet......for now!
~ Hearing the boys play and giggle together in another room
~ Embracing the chaos of life in a bitty apartment with two rowdies
~ Going for long walks and talking about everthing and nothing
~ P.J. Days
~ Dive bomb hugs and lovies while I'm on my hands and knees cleaning
~ Hearing Kaden tell me OFTEN that we need another baby!
~ Jesse giving me his version of a kiss: A head butt to my face!
Things that make me go Aaaaaahhhhh!
So, in honor of sweet Brenda who reminded me of the "fleeting-ness" of childhood, these are just a few snippets of things that I want to savor and drink in from my wee ones while they are still kind of wee.....
~ Nursing my baby
~ Smooching all of Jesse's neck rolls
~ Reading story after story after story to Kaden
~ Hearing Kaden beg me to scratch his back
~ Having Kaden come and get in bed with us in the morning
~ Jesse toddling up to me and draping his body around my legs
~ "Kisses and squeezes" and I love you signs from Kaden at every nap and bedtime
~ Family days where the boys still want to be with us
~ Being our boy's most favorite people on the planet......for now!
~ Hearing the boys play and giggle together in another room
~ Embracing the chaos of life in a bitty apartment with two rowdies
~ Going for long walks and talking about everthing and nothing
~ P.J. Days
~ Dive bomb hugs and lovies while I'm on my hands and knees cleaning
~ Hearing Kaden tell me OFTEN that we need another baby!
~ Jesse giving me his version of a kiss: A head butt to my face!
Things that make me go Aaaaaahhhhh!
Smatterings
A verse and song lyrics that have blessed me tody:
Zephaniah 3:17 - "The LORD your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing!"
How amazing are the truths of that verse? He is WITH me, He DELIGHTS in me, and He REJOICES over me - ME! - with singing! Awesome. Awesome.
And the lyrics of a Sarah Groves song:
“Prayers for This Child”
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
as a mother I don’t want my baby denied
but in the waiting in the waiting
I learned
Every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
take the arrows of misery heartache and blame
but in the sorrow in the sorrow
I learned to hold on
I only have two eyes - be all seeing
I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - to be all knowing
I give this baby up into your care
I do not know how, how to pray for this child
I want to guard him from everything wicked and wild
but in the trial in the trial
I learned to hold on
And in the trial, in the trial
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
Hold your babies tightly this afternoon-
Zephaniah 3:17 - "The LORD your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing!"
How amazing are the truths of that verse? He is WITH me, He DELIGHTS in me, and He REJOICES over me - ME! - with singing! Awesome. Awesome.
And the lyrics of a Sarah Groves song:
“Prayers for This Child”
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
as a mother I don’t want my baby denied
but in the waiting in the waiting
I learned
Every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
take the arrows of misery heartache and blame
but in the sorrow in the sorrow
I learned to hold on
I only have two eyes - be all seeing
I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - to be all knowing
I give this baby up into your care
I do not know how, how to pray for this child
I want to guard him from everything wicked and wild
but in the trial in the trial
I learned to hold on
And in the trial, in the trial
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
Hold your babies tightly this afternoon-
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