Last Night.

Be prepared friends.
There are plans afoot.

For all who walk through our doors, consider yourselves duly warned.

Welp, today I do believe, thus far I have drank myself at least six cups of coffee, and it's only ten in the morning. And though, my eyeballs are floating, I still can't seem to keep them open.

We had the Christmas party for my workplace last night, and my Love and I did not get home to bed until well after one in the morning. My brain doesn't function on all cylinders on a good day, so today just might just very well be a hopeless cause. We are getting way too old for these shenanigans.

AND I waittress today. And - again, when my pee brain is functioning at its normal capacity (which isn't saying much, I am well aware), I still am far from being the world's best tray balancer - or even "Amy balancer" for that matter. "Grace" is most surely not my middle name. What I lack in poise and balance, I make up for in charisma, I tell you! At least that's what I tell myself...

A couple of nights ago, being a marvelous point in case of when I lost my grace, was when I unceremoniously spilled an entire bowl of coleslaw down a lady's back and promptly wished I could die right on the spot. It's true. It happened. My humiliation was second only to the time when I spilled an entire hot fudge sundae on a man's lap. Which was second only to the time I slipped on a freshly mopped floor, on my very first week of work there, I might add, and fell full tilt into the kitchen's ginormous trash can. No joke. All true stories. My lady was gracious, my manager was forgiving, and all turned out well. But, I can only imagine was joyous catastrophies await my waittressing shift this evening.

Could be dicey.

(That's me).

Speaking of dicey, at our Christmas party last night, we played our annual "Minute to Win It" game. There are three finalists from each of the three restaurants who go on to compete for the ultimate grand prizes of ginorous t.v.'s, Kinect games, and such. Last year I won the tissue game and moved on to round two. I made it through round two of picking up keys with a paperclip in my mouth, but I crashed and burned on the "getting the lampshade on my head blindfolded." I could not get that blasted thing to sit on my head to save my soul. I was flinging that dumb shade from here to Kingdom come. And I dreamed about that loss for weeks, being the psychotically competative person that I am.

This year, I vowed to redeem myself. I'm proud to admit, that the tissue queen reigns supreme, and she also once again made it through the next round of stacking nuts and bolts with a chopstick. But, once again I crashed and burned on the semi-finalist round of "stacking-the-plastic-red-solo-cups-on-top-of-3x5-index-cards-and-one-by-one-pulling-out-the-index-cards-so-that-the-cups-all-collapse-onto-themselves." (I'm quite sure that wasn't the name of the game. The real one is a bit more catchy, as I recall).

Third time's a charm, baby.
Next year, I'm out for blood.

However, I did walk away with a $100.00 gift card.
Not too shabby...and well worth losing a few hours of beauty sleep, methinks.
I'm happy. Hello gas and groceries.

And, hell-o there, cup #7. You wondrous creation of heavenly bliss.
How I love you.
Let me count the ways.....
1. You make me warm and cozy.
2. Your caffeine does....nothing...for...zzzzzzz

(Guess who still has no snow? And guess who still isn't sad about it?)

Happy Monday, folks!

2 comments:

Rachael said...

Bwahahaha!!! Great, great post! Still laughing about the coleslaw and hot fudge!!
Tell those boys of yours to bring some of those there snowflakes over to my house Thursday...I've been wanting to purchase me some good snowflakes! :o)

Anonymous said...

You are too funny. I especially love the whole coleslaw down the back thing. I am not sure how I would react if that happened to me! But seriously, I could never be a waitress. You rock!

Also that $100 gift card should be used for you and Kevy to do something fun, or buy something fun... not gas and groceries. Just my humble opinion : )