Lessons Learning.

Any time anyone finds out that I homeschool my boys, the very first question that pops out of each and every blessed person is.....yep, you guessed it:  "But, aren't you worried about their social interactions with others?"

And I don't mind the question. 
In fact, I totally get it.
And yes, I have experienced the typical, socially awkward homeschooled child amidst a very social setting, and it's painful to see.

But, Lord have mercy, that is one arena where I truly am not concerned.
Can my kids be socially awkward?  For sure.
AND weird, and inappropriate, and embarassing, and shocking, along with all other various sorts and sundry other adjectives, as well.  Oh yes, they surely can.

But, can't all kids be this at times?
Goodness - isn't that what much of childhood is all about?
I'm a proud and free public schooled veteran, and I can recall a kajillion times where I sure as shooting was socially-all-of-those-things above.

And more, probably. 
These lips, they had no filter. 
And this woman, as a girl, surely loved to get a reaction.

All I'm saying, is that this one factor isn't the stressor for me.
I think more about them actually not learning, and flunking, and never getting into college, and blaming me for the rest of their lives because I was their teacher.

You know, things a little bit bigger than that.

And besides, I see my kids in action whenever we are anywhere out and about.
Again - not saying that they can't be awkward and whatever else...
I just see that within seconds of us being anywhere - the beach, the playground, the park - whatever...
all it takes is for one of my boys to catch one creepy crawly, or one frog, or one salamander or snake, and suddenly there is a posse of kids - boys and girls alike running all around together...and that's the end of our time as a little family of five for the day.  My boys are leading the troops off to some unforseen adventure into the unknown.

And I'm totally cool with that.
I love that.

And if I'm not careful, every single day of the week could be filled up with little friends and playmates...to the point where when the week-end rolls around, I can't remember the last time that I had one on one time with any of my littles - just them and me. 

Sometimes, I feel like we have TOO much "social interaction with others."

All I'm really trying to say is....today I needed to cancel a playdate because I needed some time alone with just me and my boys.  I wanted them all to myself today.  I think we've gotten just a tad unbalanced as of late, and I'm feeling it.

Balance in everything, right?
And each to his own, yes?
And everyone does what is right for their own little families, no?
And it's good to be constantly assessing and reassessing...and what works for me may not for one minute work for another Mama...nor should I ever think that it should.

And that's what I'm learning with each season and child and year of being a mother to my boys.
I'm less and less concerned with how others parent and with the choices they make.
I'm learning not to feel threatened if they make decisions that are different than mine.
And I'm not using them as my standard of what a "good mama" is supposed to look like.

That gets oh so very dangerous, and nothing kills our joy quicker than a healthy dose of comparision.
I find that I have to take Facebook sabbaticals.
And blogs really only tell half the story.
We are all whatever we want to be on the face of a computer screen.

It's our littles who know who we really are.
There is really no fooling them. 
They see all of our sides - not just the side we choose to show the rest of the world.

And they don't care how much weight we've lost, or how often we've gone to the gym this week, or if we are packing for Bermuda, or if we have pinned thirty-five new things to Pinterest...or whatever status update I choose to write for the day...

They don't care.
And I'm learning to take my cues from them.


Psalm117ptg said...

Well said. Love it and you.

Angelica said...

oh..amen sista.....

freedom from comparison is one of the greatest freedoms i know.
and equally liberating is not taking such stock in what others may think about me..to be free from coveting the high esteem of others ~ there is much joy in letting go.

Kara P said...

I've been homeschooling for .5 seconds and I'm already getting some of that. Forget the fact that the older one went to public school for four years. And you know what? He's still been and done and said some of those things you mentioned! :) You're exactly right; kids are kids, and they all have moments like that. You should see the video of me as a kid being interviewed in a pageant. It's painfully awkward! (And yes, I went to public school all 13 years!) And your right, time alone with just our kids is fleeting and precious and I think any of us who have been freely invited into your home can appreciate that :) Enjoy your time with the "hoolies" and thank you for your openness, friend.

Rachael said...

So. Very. Good.
Enough said.
The end.
Love you.

Kristi said...

yup - i loved that, too. and it is soooo true, that our kids see the real true US. no foolin' them. (well, Levi doesn't care too much at this point, i have to be honest!) - but, i agree, the one on one time is just as or more important than the social busy-ness. i get those same questions and comments, too, because i stay home with my boys, and don't intend on sending them to pre-school. heaven forbid! to each his own....and yes - kids, all kids no matter how educated or prim and proper or what have you...i'm pretty sure they can all be awkward and embarassing. so can adults. who do we think we are, always judging others, or being judged? so annoying.

Sarah said...

Yup. Yup. and yup. I've been learning those lessons of not comparing and not judging slowly, slowly over three years...and praying to prepare my heart for more and more lessons all over again with a second that does not promise to be anything like the first.