I once read a quote: "Comparison destroys contentment," and with everything that is within me, I believe this is true.
Maybe this is just my own be-setting sin, but the more that I am vulnerable and honest with other women - the more I am affirmed in my assumption that this is true for most.
I think, across the board - generally - the "thing" that many a man struggles with, is lust in all of its various forms. I'm sure that it's not every man's battle, but according to many of "the experts," and in watching and reading about many of the spiritual giants of our day, I think it's pretty safe to say that a large portion of men struggle in this area.
Satan's target area of attack for them, perhaps. A way he can seek to destroy.
And in my humble opinion, I think, across the board - generally - the "thing" that many a woman struggles with is comparison in all of its forms; namely comparing ourselves against each other. I'm sure that it's not every woman's battle, but having lived and breathed for thirty-four years and having talked to many a woman, I think it's pretty safe to say that a large portion of women struggle in this area.
Satan's target area of attack for us, perhaps. A way he can seek to destroy.
I think it's also pretty safe to say that our struggle is more deceptive and more easy to hide than the battles of our opposite sex.
It's a brilliant strategy, really.
Divide and conquer.
Destroy each other without even really knowing what we're doing.
Or maybe we do know what we're doing, but we don't know how to fix it.
Either way, rather than have us all be amazing support systems to each other in this crazy, messy journey of life - how about instead we all live feeling insecure, unsafe, and vulnerable around each other? Unsafe and unsure - constantly measuring ourselves, our lives, our homes, our bodies, our marriages, and our successess...and let's not forget our kids and all that's rolled into that bundle - their attitudes, their grades, their potty successes, their speech, and their manners - against the standard of each other.
It's a neverending battle.
And sadly, it's a never-winning battle, as well.
If we look hard enough, and if we compare long enough we will always find someone who is doing the very thing that we feel best about - just a little bit better. And in the same vein - if we're looking to puff ourselves up in our pride the other way -if we keep looking, we can probably find someone who is doing it just a little bit worse than we are, as well.
And, really, what good does any of this do for anyone?
Either way, somebody loses.
We are ALL beautiful messes, and no-one has the corner on the market of anything.
Any success is only because of Christ, and every weakness is wired into the DNA of every single one of us. We all have the potential for any sin known to man. We all have the dysfunction. We're all messed up.
But sometimes it's hard to rejoice in other's joys when we so badly want their success to be our own. It does not come naturally to give blessing free and full when we are coming from a place of sadness, struggle, and discontent. It's much easier to build walls, tuck tail, and hide away to lick our wounds in private - behind the perfectly plastered smiles and shallow "I'm fine" cliches - than be real and vulnerable with each other.
And then Satan wins.
Every time he wins.
Comparison does indeed destroy everyone's contentment.
When we compare - even one thing against another person - all the little joys begin to dull in that comparison. It's one thing to push each other to be better. It's an entirely different matter to have
each other be "the standard."
Paul said that he "
learned to be content." It didn't just happen. And at least for me, it's a constant, never ending battle. But just as in a man's battle against lust - I need to battle intentionally this war against comparison.
A certain, godly man that I know has this verse as his mantra whenever he's watching t.v. - "I will set no unclean thing before my eyes."
He goes through the check-out lines in the store that have no tabloids.
He has no magazine subscriptions.
He has an accountability partner that he's honest with.
And he rarely watches any movies.
He is pro-active.
In my battle for contentment - for joy - I need to be pro-active, as well.
I count and I list those daily gifts.
I write down those things that God has freely, fully given me.
Little beauties amidst crazy messes.
And perspective changes everything.
When I am pro-active to track the joy - to actively seek it out - the craziest thing happens! Contentment is learned. Rejoicing takes place. Joy is once again restored. And I am intentional to encourage my sisters and, in turn, help them find their own joy.
And then... Satan loses.
Everytime.
And far better for him to lose than any one of us.
Rather than divide and conquer, we encourage and restore.
We live and we love and we walk this crazy road together.
And we remember that it's not about us, anyway.
It's all about Him. Always only about Him.
And we are free.
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"Jesus plus nothing equals everything.
Because Jesus was strong for you, you’re free to be weak;
Because Jesus won for you, you’re free to lose;
Because Jesus was Someone, you’re free to be no one;
Because Jesus was extraordinary, you’re free to be ordinary;
Because Jesus succeeded for you, you’re free to fail.
You’re free!" ~ Steve Brown
