I'm not the greatest at making - or keeping, for that matter - New Year's Resolutions.
365 days to keep my lofty goal?
I'm pretty sure that's never happened once for this girl. Ever.
I don't even make them anymore.
But, I'm learning to cut myself some slack and to give myself some grace.
My friend recently wrote a post about guilt that resonated with me.
Because, isn't that one of a woman's all time favorite words?
It is for me, anyway.
Right up there with "comparison."
Guilt and comparison.
Two of the greatest enemies for most women that I know.
But guilt tears up the insides, and comparison destroys contentment.
And the Enemy of our souls is never happier when he sees this happen.
We will always find someone who does something better than we do. And if we look hard enough, we can probably find someone who isn't doing something as good as we are, either...at least in our book, anyway. According to OUR standards of perfection.
Us, women? We are horrible standards to live our lives by, anyway.
And our measuring sticks of success are way too lofty and high.
We are the best at asking ourselves to carry unbearable burdens, when Jesus told us to come to Him because His was light and He would give us rest...
Someone will always be skinnier than me.
More athletic.
A more intentional Mama.
A better homemaker. More crafty.
Prettier. Nicer. More "spiritual."
They will run farther. Cook better. Have nicer homes. Better bodies.
They'll get more accomplished in the day. They will be funnier. Have more friends.
They will have better behaved children. Who watch way less t.v. And were potty trained earlier, slept through the night sooner, and never wet the bed.
Someone will always be a better decorator. Nicer dresser. Better coupon clipper. They'll save more money. Be more business savvy. Take better vacations. Do things better. And have a more ideal situation than me.
And on and on and on...
And those are just the things that I think about...
If we play this game, we will always lose.
Every time, we will set ourselves up for failure.
And then new favorite words will join the pack:
Words like: jealousy, envy, bitterness....words that rot the bones.
Just like New Year's Resolutions - at times - set us up for failure, so does comparison. It's good to have goals. Daily ones. Weekly ones. Even yearly ones. It's good to try and better ourselves. It's good to push ourselves to be better and to surround ourselves with people who challenge us and make us want to grow.
There is just that delicate dance of working hard toward our dreams and goals and resolutions, but then giving ourselves a big bath of grace when we maybe don't attain them in quite the way that we thought we would. Or in the way that those around us seem to have arrived...
Is it possible to come alongside and cheer other's on in the very successess that we wish we were living? To admire without the jealousy? To be content without comparing? To have grace without the guilt?
Oh man. That's where the rubber meets the road, right?
There are things in every one of my friend's lives - that with very little effort, I could find myself sorely lacking in if I compared myself beside them. It's a fact. It is what it is, so what good is there in comparing myself to them? Yet, I still will do it.
The better road - the higher road - the road that wins against our Enemy is to "take into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ," and to "be transformed by the renewing of our minds." Then, things that cause jealousy and discontentment tend to dissipate a little bit when we do the honor of giving a true compliment - one not encased in insult - and when we speak the words - out loud - that we might like to have spoken to or about us.
After all, who doesn't love a kind word spoken about them? They say it takes ten nice things said to cover up the pain of one hurtful word. I don't want to be that one painful word in someone else's life - knowingly or unknowingly. How much better to be one of the ten...or ten of the ten for that matter?
So, I will start here - verbal words of admiration and affirmation for people in my world. Words that prayerfully give life. Words that build up and don't tear down. This is a good resolution for me to shoot for.
Because forgiven people should be able to freely forgive.
And well-loved people should be able to love well.
And secure people - Christ confident people - can be happy at other's succeses...
And God's daughters can take joy in their sisters' successes.
Because isn't that what we are?
Forgiven, unconditionally loved, adopted, secure daughters of the Most High?
Those are much better words to live and love by...
Words of grace that give life.
Let's give the grace where we would most love and need the grace to be bestowed upon us.
