Today.

Right now it's naptime at my house. I love naptime.

The boys don't necessarily always sleep - in fact, Kaden rarely does anymore, but it's a two hour break in the middle of everyone's day, where we are all still and in our own little spaces. "Still" doesn't happen much around here.

There is usually a kitty on each bed, Kaden is wrapping up his schoolwork, and Jesse is looking at books - or finding something to cut, or rip, or tie, or destroy.

Lately I've been calling Jesse "the twins." It suits him.

This little rockstar of mine is in a class all his own. He lives life completely outside of the box. His approach to every single thing in life is absolutely full tilt, no holds barred, lemme at 'em, conquer the world with gusto - etc. etc. etc. Hence, his new nickname.

Here are a couple of examples.
Exhibit A: Which pumpkin do you think is his?

Exhbit B: Which snowman do you think is his? The normal looking one out front, or the one at the back that looks like a two humped camel with legs sticking out of his back?

A free spirit, that one...

In some ways, he is most like me, and I understand his little brain the best. In other ways, he honestly is like having twins - he is equal parts hilarious and exasperation, he makes my head spin, and he is why I shall enforce the nap law for life. Naps are good for sanity.

Moving onward...

So, today we have been making little cookies that we are going to go and "treat" or neighborhood with tonight. We only know a handful of the people on our road - we haven't even laid eyes on some of them - so we are going to go door to door and give them each a little baggie of goodies.

We have never trick or treated with our boys before this year. I did it all growing up, but there was no controversy with anyone up home. Back then, it was innocent fun for everyone - even all of the local pastors and their families went out and about. Everyone knew everyone, and it was just a fun night to dress up and be silly.

I guess this year just marks another part of our morphing and growing on our own journey with the Lord. I've said it many times before, but the older I get the less I see black and white, and the more I see gray on so many issues. I am becoming far less concerned about how others will view and judge me and far more concerned about being intentional and living out life in transparency and vulnerability before my kids. I know that this is a delicate topic - one in which I will always deeply respect and honor other's views and convictions.

Mine are just changing.

The boys and I have talked a lot about Halloween in recent days. They've listened to a great Adventures in Odyssey C.D. about this night that brought about a lot of good discussion. When I asked Kaden what he thought, he said: "Well, I think we can make anything bad or we can take some things and make them good if we do it for God." Kind of profound for a seven year old.

So, that's what we're doing tonight. We're taking something that some have intended for evil, and we're just going to use it as an opportunity to be missional. To be a presence to our neighbors, to make ourselves known, and to maybe initiate the start of a neighborly relationship. It's not going to be anything profound really; but on a night where many people are planning to be home and are willingly happy to open their door to strangers...maybe it will turn out to be something really amazing, after all.

At the very least, the boys will see tonight as an opportunity to "give" and not just to receive. They will see us open our door wide to strangers instead of shutting off the light and hiding away. And together, our little family will show love to strangers who just might someday become dear friends.

I think Kaden is right.

Sunday Love.

I cannot stand clutter. It really makes me crazy.
I am a minimalist, I hate stuff, and piles of anything make me nervous.

However.

I love me my books. I really really love me my books.

Whenever I go yard saling or thrifting, the book section is always the first thing that draws me in. And, although we have no need for any extras, and although we don't really have the extra space - like a moth to a flame, I am drawn.

And as a Mama who loves reading, I really want to instill that same love into my sons. It's one of the reasons why I love the homeschool curriculum that I am using. It is almost completely literature driven. Other than Math, Phonics, and Handwriting workbooks, just about everything else is us reading through beautiful, beautiful books together. I love that.
Another reason why I love books so much is that it is just about the only time of the day (other than naps and bedtime) where the hoolies actually sit still and are quiet. No joke. Even mealtimes are a bit of a jungle. But, there is just something magical about getting lost in a book together.

And mainly, I just feel like I'm a good mom when we're all snuggled up together on the couch. I'm not really a very good "play-er" with my children. I'm too much of a multi-tasking whirling dervish, and it's very hard for me to just sit and play legos or ninja or cars for any amount of time. My mind wanders, I start getting fidgety, and I'm just not good at it.

There's a lot of things that I'm not good at with this whole parenting gig. I'm impatient, I'm grumpy, I don't let them jump on the beds, I get irritated when they're loud, I too easily get caught up in the rush of the urgent and choose that far too often over slowing and just being; and sometimes I'm just plain no fun.

So reading feels redemptive for me.

I've slowed. I've stopped.
I'm seeing them. I'm touching them.
And I get lost with them for as long as they are able to sit still.
Maybe that's why I can't stop collecting!

This is one of our all time favorites around here. It was also my favorite as a child, so it brings back really cozy memories of my Mama snuggling up with me on the couch.

These stories have real photographs for pictures, and even Ransom is mesmerized for a pretty long period of time.

Other books that I am ALWAYS keeping my eye out for are:
~ Any National Geographic Book for kids. Again, real pics, and pretty educational.

~ The Little Blessings books which are precious and have the same illustrator as the Care Bears books.

~ Any Henry and Mudge books. They are sweet little stories about a boy and his dog.

~ Franklin by Brenda Clark. They also have some sweet Franklin movies, as well.

~ And Little Critter by Mercer Meyer. Silly and Fun, and again a childhood memory for me.

Other fun little series that we love are: The Magic School Bus, The Magic Tree House, The Boxcar Children, and all of the Little House on the Prairie Books.

So, tell me...
What books do you love?
What do you feel like you do well with your children?
What feels redemptive to you?

****************
2058. Losing all track of time.
2059. Touching, smelling, seeing - being ALL there.
2060. One love on my lap, and one on either side.
2061. Forgetting about the messes and focusing on the important.

You Know What Today Is, Don't You?

Yup. The first day of deer season.

And in honor of my brothers who love this song at this time of year, here is the slightly crass (please pardon the belching and seconds :40-1:10), and very redneck, hunter's dream song, "The Tirty Point Buck."


May my very sick, and I'm sure very freezing hunter husband get the big one today whilst I sit home by the fire, drinking coffee, and watching cartoons with my hoolies!

Good Food.

While Kev and I are on this journey to see if we actually will be able to stave off surgery by diet and exercise, this lady is on a quest to find food that meets a plethora of necessary criteria:

It must be:
~ As clean and "whole food-ish" as possible.
~ No white flours, whole grain, minimal sugar, etc. etc.
~ Minimally processed, low or no gluten, no nitrates, only "good" fats, etc. etc.
~ Relatively reasonably priced as five hoover vacuum cleaners live in this house.
~ Yummy AND filling - so that the littles will eat it AND stay filled (for at least an hour).

Back in the day - meaning, pre-children and pre-student loans - this was not an issue. We exercised faithfully, and our largest bill was our grocery bill. We basically shopped the outer aisles of the grocery store, we ate mostly organic, we drank our Barley Green, and we used our juicer three or four times a week.

And then, something happened in recent years.
Now what was that...

Oh, right. Real life. Kids, more tummies, less time, you know the drill.
But, now we have to play hardball, and I refuse to make two separate menus for every meal, so we're all going to play this game. And I'm glad - it will only do us good. And whether or not, Kev has to have his gallbladder removed down the road, the reset button has been pushed, and we are back on track as best as our wallet will allow.

So, we are back to juicing at least two or three times a week.

Kaden is the one who keeps us on track with this. He does the entire juicing process - except for the clean-up of the juicer, which is super messy and I hate - so if it weren't for his persistence, I probably would not be nearly so consistent.

~ This is Jesse and Ransom's portions. They're still not into this whole drinking carrots thing.

We have found a really yummy, high protein, keeps-their-tummies-filled-for-a-long-time pancake/waffle recipe that has become a staple. I shall share the recipe, because it is delish:

1 cup cottage cheese
4 eggs
1/2 cup spelt/oat/whole wheat flour (Kev uses a gluten free one)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup skim/almond/soy milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla.
Beat in blender, then cook in waffle maker or make into pancakes.

I also found a really, really yummy pumpkin soup recipe that is very healthy and very low fat. It's kind of a chuck whatever you want in and make it the way you like it, kind of a soup, but here are the ingredients:
2 pumpkins
1 buttercup squash
5 apples
2 onions
1 leek
4 garlic cloves
4 cups chicken or vegetable broth
2 tsp. curry powder
1/4 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
2 tsp. ginger (or less. This was a little spicy for the boys)
salt and pepper to taste
drizzle of real maple syrup, if you want a sweeter and less savory soup.

Cut the pumpkins and squash in half, scoop out the seeds, and roast in the oven at 350 degrees until soft. Scoop everything out and throw into a pan with all the rest of the ingredients. Cook all together for 30 minutes or so. Blend in small batches in your blender and return to pot.

I also carmelized some onions and garlic to serve on top. Optional, but yummy.

And this is my final recipe for today, but I tell you what - it's the bomb.
This girl is all for eating healthy, but I'm missing me my chocolate.
So, this recipe totally and completely does it for me. It's more like a mousse/cake/brownie of sorts. Super, super heavy. Super, super fudgey. Super delish. And some of the ingredients are super shocking. But, trust me. It's well worth at least a one time attempt to see for yourself.

It's called "The Long Run Cake" because it's very filling.
1 cup applesauce
1 15/5 oz. can black beans, drained (I know, right? Crazy!)
1 1/2 cups oat/spelt/whatever kind of flour you want to use
1 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 cup agave syrup
2 eggs
1/4 cup coffee
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix all dry ingredients together.
Blend the beans and applesauce together.
Use electric mixer and mix agave syrup and eggs until fluffy. Add in coffee.
Add the bean and applesauce to the rest of the wet and beat all together.
Add the dry, and beat until smooth.

Put in greased loaf pan (Actually, the recipe said to put into 12 mini loaf pans, but who has 12 mini loaf pans on hand???). Bake at 350 degrees until cake springs back when poked. I found it took mine the better part of a half hour.

Try it! I dare ya, and tell me what you think! I bet you'll like it.
And thus endeth my recipe sharing for the day...

What I Really Meant.

Today all three of my boys are just sick enough to not really be able to play outside, to not have anyone over for a playdate, and to not go to our friends' house for supper tonight. This is a recipe for a disasterous day. Bitter disappointment, cagey, irritable boys, and snot juices flowing to beat the band.

So, today this Mama decided to pull out all of the stops and try to make today be a really fun, cozy, stay inside, forget about your woes kind of a day.

Emphasis on TRY.

::I pulled out my old Easy Bake Oven along with a newer version that I picked up on clearance months ago. I have boys - but they're still all about the food, and they love making their own indiviual cakes and cookies, so I thought for sure this would be a special treat.

What really happened: The big oven handles became swords, the mini cakes were eaten in one bite with a somewhat disgusted look of "Was that ALL?", and when my back was turned, so much of the batter was eaten, that what was left to stick in those little dinky ovens wasn't worth the eight minutes it took that lightbulb to cook anything.



::No worries. On to plan B. There's a heavy frost warning for tonight, so I brought in a few of our pumpkins and figured we'd spend the rest of the morning carving our own, making some silly faces, and toasting the seeds for a snack.

(Check out that bit of rockin' bedhead!)

What really happened: The pumpkins were carved - amidst a running, delighted dialogue of how the guts of the pumpkin felt like snot and brains. The seeds were toasted, and all but Ransom were far less than impressed. But, they WERE gleefully eaten in front of the carvings with a few goulish - "Look guys! We're eating your brains!" AND, while I was completely oblivious to the goings on around me - grapes, extra seeds, and bubble wrap were stuffed inside the pumpkins and lit on fire "to watch them smoke."




::The festivities wound down, lunch was eaten, and Ransom was put down to nap. So, I sent the big boys into the living room to play quietly while I cleaned up our epic mess in the kitchen from this morning, and started with our supper prep. They were quiet, they played well, and I thought they were reading books in front of the fire.


What really happened: A pirate ship fort was built, every single animal was brought forth from their bedroom, and virtually every blanket and towel in the entire house was put to use.



::So, Epic mess from kitchen was cleaned and simply moved into the living room. The boys readied themselves for rest time, and the fort stayed in place for after nap festivites. This Mama shut the door behind her Lovlies and brewed herself a hot pot of tea - preparing for her two hours of quiet sanity, where directly following this time of gentle respite, chaos would again reign supreme until bedtime.

What I'm really thinking: Praise Jesus for naps.

What If?

Check out this article by David Mathis on viewing Halloween through a completely different lens.

Halloween is a delicate topic with deeply held views. I know this.
And this is just one angle of many - but I'm diggin' it.
It is totally and completely where my heart is, and it's exactly what we're going to try to do this coming week-end.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The entire article is much longer, but here are just a few brief excerpts:

"What if the Spirit stirred in us a new perspective on October 31? What if dads led their households in a fresh approach to Halloween as Christians on mission?

What if spreading a passion for God’s supremacy in all things included Halloween—that amalgamation of wickedness now the second-largest commercial holiday in the West?

Loving Others and Extending Grace
What if we didn’t think of ourselves as “in the world, but not of it,” but rather, as Jesus says in John 17, “not of the world, but sent into it”?

And what if that led us to move beyond our squabbles about whether or not we’re free to celebrate All Hallows’ Eve, and the main issue became whether our enjoyment of Jesus and his victory over Satan and the powers of darkness might incline us to think less about our private enjoyments and more about how we might love others? What if we took Halloween captive—along with “every thought” (2 Corinthians 10:5)—as an opportunity for gospel advance and bringing true joy to the unbelieving?

And what if those of us taking this fresh approach to Halloween recognized that Christians hold a variety of views about Halloween, and we gave grace to those who see the day differently than we do?

Without Naiveté or Retreat
What if we didn’t merely go with the societal flow and unwittingly float with the cultural tide into and out of yet another Halloween? What if we didn’t observe the day with the same naïveté as our unbelieving neighbors and coworkers?

And what if we didn’t overreact to such nonchalance by simply withdrawing? What if Halloween wasn’t a night when Christians retreated in disapproval, but an occasion for storming the gates of hell?

The Gospel Trick
What if we ran Halloween through the grid of the gospel and pondered whether there might be a third path beyond naïveté and retreat? What if we took the perspective that all of life, Halloween included, is an opportunity for gospel advance? What if we saw Halloween not as a retreat but as a kind of gospel trick—an occasion to extend Christ’s cause on precisely the night when Satan may feel his strongest?

What if we took to the offensive on Halloween? Isn’t this how our God loves to show himself mighty? Just like the cross. It’s a kind of divine “trick”: Precisely when the demonic community thinks for sure they have Jesus cornered, he delivers the deathblow. Wasn’t it a Halloween-like gathering of darkness and demonic festival at Golgotha, the place of the Skull, when the God-man “disarmed the powers and authorities [and] made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them” at the cross (Colossians 2:15)?

Orienting on Others
What if we saw October 31 not merely as an occasion for asking self-oriented questions about our participation (whether we should or shouldn’t dress the kids up or carve pumpkins), but for pursuing others-oriented acts of love? What if we capitalized on the opportunity to take a step forward in an ongoing process of witnessing to our neighbors, co-workers, and extended families about who Jesus is and what he accomplished at Calvary for the wicked like us?

What if we resolved not to join the darkness by keeping our porch lights off? What if we didn’t deadbolt our doors, but handed out the best treats in the neighborhood as a faint echo of the kind of grace our Father extends to us sinners?"

I Feel...

These days are filled with chaos -
My three small boys are wild!
It's times like these - I can't forsee
Another baby child.

The mess - I can't contain it!
The floors are never clean.
Those random socks - all missy-matched?
Their mate remains unseen.

These boys are always hungry.
The groceries always gone.
The looney bin - the funny farm?
I feel it won't be long!

This Mama - she is so dang tired!
I need a nap or three.
But, then I hear a sweet - "Mama?"
"Will you please come watch me?"

"Come watch me swing? Or read a book?
Will you come play with me?"
They see me - frail; I am a mess ---
Yet they love - full and free.

They're wild, messy, crazy loud -
My three small ones - ALL boy.
But I'm content - my heart is full.
I see the sacred joy.

The looney bin - the three day nap.
Some day - that will be great...
That time's not now - those naps...not yet.
For me, they'll have to wait.

Right now, it's chaos - filthy floors,
much mess, and TONS of food.
It's true - I might go batty soon....
But it's also very good!

Dedicated to my three small hoolies who just today ~
::Got stuck in a tree
::Got trapped under the porch
::Drank all of my coffee
::And tracked dirt all over my just swept floors.

And to my husband who has told me to take the rest of the day off....
Until tomorrow then!

Today.

It's still pitch dark outside, and my entire household sleeps.
This is exactly the way I like to start my days.

I am finding that as my children grow and as our days become busier (and louder), I am a much nicer and more patient Mommy if I can start the day at least an hour before the rest of them.

These few moments of silence center me and help me start the day out right.
The best days are when exercise, shower, and time with the Lord are all under my belt before the first hoolie lifts his head from the pillow.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is very weak, and many days this doesn't happen. But that's my goal anyway. It's always good to have goals, right?

Happy Monday.
It's a good day to slow and see the sacred.
Today is fresh, and the week is brand new.
And today is a good day for a post of simple randoms while I wait for my coffee to brew.

This here blog of mine is rather random in and of itself, now that I think about it. I don't really have a platform for anything, awareness I'm trying to create, or any audience in particular that I'm writing to...other than my three little boys, really. I know of maybe twelve people who may pop in and out of these posts here and there, but other than that, it's a pretty nebulous little spot over here where I'm writing down random tidbits to print off for my boys to have some day.

This is for them, really.

Their Mama's journey of life, love, and her pursuit of family, Jesus, and joy.
I want them to see that the random bit of nothings that I so often write about - are really what makes up all of our lives. It's all of the little things - the seemingly mundane and the ordinary - that makes up our own unique definition of family and how we lived out life over here in our little corner of the world.

I want them to see my heart, my struggles, and my love for them and for our story.
These pages are just a tiny, abbreviated nutshell of me, - they live with me, they know the whole - but they are still me nonetheless.

So, with that on my mind - these are the little things that I'm thinking about and loving on this day:

:: This cat. Oh my word. We are in love with him. He is curled up on my lap while I'm typing, and his little purr is one of my most favorite sounds in the entire world. Had he been a shelter kitten, I would have never even given him a second glance. He's long and scrawny and really not much to look at. But he is so perfect for our family. He's like a ragdoll little puppy. He lets all three of the boys lug him all over - even Ransom carries him under his arm like a football - and he's just happy to tag along and be a part of the family.

He also has this spaztic quality about him where out of the blue, he'll attack - but I find that kind of hilarious. He either spazzes or he sprawls. He's not normal, but neither are we. And thus, a perfect fit for our family.

:: Kev turned thirty-five last week, and to celebrate I surprised all of the boys with an overnight in the big city two hours away. It was SO much fun. We swam in the pool, the boys jumped on the beds, we watched tons of fun shows, and we just vegged as a family. The boys both made birthday banners for their daddy - each expressing their individual little personalities. One footloose and fancy free, and the other systematic and structured. Both were quite proud of their creations.

:: These boys. As of late I am finding them to be bottomless pits. I cannot keep them fed and full, and I'm finding this slightly overwhelming. I am also finding them to be exceptionally loud. And filthy. Sometimes, after they're in bed for the night, I find myself staring into space and wondering what that crazy noise is in my ears. And then I realize --- it's the silence. It's deafening!

They're messy, they're dirty, they're loud, and some days they make me crazy and I wonder if I'm going to lose my mind. But sometimes, I'm bossy, and I'm not patient, and I make them eat their squash, so I'm sure that I make them equally crazy, as well. We're stuck with each other - for better or for worse. And they know I love them with everything in me, and I know the same goes for them, as well. They are my life, and I embrace them - apple cores, filth, bedlam, over the top loudness, and all.

:: This man. We have a depth of friendship and love that I can't describe. He was scheduled for surgery this week, and at the very last minute, we bowed out and have decided to go an alternative route for healing with specific food and diet. We're not sure if this will even work, but we've decided to try all of our options before going under the knife. We're rebels like that. So, this will mean a pretty drastic life change for us. We would appreciate your prayers as we navigate this next chapter.

The night before he was scheduled to go into the hospital, we went on a hot date. Grampy and Grammy had the boys, so we decided to milk it for all that it was worth and have ourselves a night on the town since we were kidless. Being the rockin' date that I am, I decided to talk about what I would do should he not make it through the procedure. Have you ever had those conversations with your spouse? This was a basic surgery, but I wanted to know a few things, just in case...you know. I'm a good time like that. It was kind of a sobering conversation, which was interspersed with silliness and immaturity, but one that I won't forget, either.

If I ever did remarry, I pity the poor man already. Kev and I had a h-e-double-hockey-stick of a time during our dating years. They were rough, to put things delicately. We worked through some massive baggage from both of our pasts -- but we got through it. And by God's grace, I'm on this journey with my very best friend. I couldn't imagine walking it with anyone else, and the Lord knows I'd ruin the boys if they didn't have their father's presence in their lives. We have these conversations often - God and I.

Well, I guess on that happy note, I'm off to conquer the world. My middlest hoolie is awake and asking for a snack, and I hear my baby playing trucks in his crib. Time to crank out a new day.

"The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action." ~ Mother Teresa
May whatever we do today - be for Jesus. Wild and free.
******************
2021. Four boys sleeping - house quiet and still
2022. Smudge purring on my lap - keeping me company and making me warm.
2023. A new week - fresh start.
2024. coffee brewing.
2025. Blessed to be a blessing today.

Have the Funeral - Part II

"Unforgiveness is like drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die." - Dr. MacDonald.

Its literal term is "to cut."
And that's exactly what it does. It cuts our insides to shreds. It is its own whip.
It's like acid on our hearts.

Bitterness destroys everyone in its path, and it forever shatters relationships.
It is the decision to perpetually review the offense - over and over again.
Heavy, heavy stuff.

We are messy. We do stupid things. We hurt others, and we are deeply hurt.
But time heals nothing. The cancer remains, and the tumor grows if we do nothing.
If we wait for the offender to make the wrong right - we could be waiting forever.
And we never move on, until we choose to forgive.

Forgiveness is the process of releasing and beginning the healing.

It is NOT enabling - we don't have to help the offender do it again.
It does not require rescuing them from the consequences of their sin.
And it does not require risk or even trust again. We do not have to visit or hang out with the offender.

It is just this: they don't owe us, we don't try to get even, we're not focused on their failure. We're just trying to move past.

The crisis: Name the person. Name the pain.
I choose to forgive so and so for such and such.

And then the process:
Don't bring it up again. To the person. To your friends. Or to yourself.
This is the hard part - the taking into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ - and the retraining and renewal of the mind.

And when we mess up - which we will...we go back to the crisis.
"I choose to forgive so and so for such and such."

This is the Heavenly way.
The Biblical way.
The Kingdom way which makes no earthly sense.

But this is what sets us free.
Have the funeral.

Ephesians 4:31,32 - "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Have the Funeral - Part I.

Kev and I have been listening to an amazing teaching series by Dr. James MacDonald.
It's called "Have the Funeral - God's Plan for Your Past."

It's a two part series where he compares forgiveness to funerals.
The first part is entitled "The Wake - Viewing Unforgiveness the Way God Does;"
and Part Two is called "The Burial - Making Forgiveness Final."

At funerals, there are two important things that we do.
We grieve and we leave.
There is a crisis and there is a process of grieving that takes place.

When we are injured - when we get wounded, there's the crisis.
The hurt, the pain, the broken dream, the loss, the "what will never be" crisis happens. And just like at a funeral, we need to view it, and we need to grieve it. What should have, could have, and would have been has got to be let go of if we are to ever move forward.

If healing is to ever take place - we must begin the process of forgiving - We must do an inventory of the injury and the wounding...and then we need to make a conscious choice to gather all that hurt up and have the funeral.

Sounds easy. Sounds like a simple two step process. Sounds like a "that's easy for you to say, but you have no idea what's happened to me in my life" kind of a story.

It's not.
But Jesus had much to say about forgiveness and it would behoove me to listen - Matthew 18; Mark 11:25; Luke 6:37; the Lord's Prayer...

The harsh reality of it all is that many people will never be able to repair the damage that they have done to us. They are not going to be able to fix the hurt that they have done - and sadly, they may never even care or seek to try. Some may have no idea the amount of pain that they have ever even caused.

"Don't expect the people who need to be forgiven to properly calculate what they owe."

So, the pastor's challenge to us is not to hold our death grips on the only verse in scripture that qualifies "IF the person repents...THEN I will forgive," but to read all of the many other verses that call for immediate, unilateral forgiveness - regardless of how the offender acts. The debt has to be paid - there was injury that has taken place.

But forgiveness releases that person from their debt. We absorb it. We cover it. We decide to release the person from the obligation that resulted from the injury.

Time does not heal all wounds. Only forgiveness does.

And forgiving people are FORGIVEN people.
If we forgive, we will be forgiven.
The Lord's prayer is prayed - "Forgive us - like we forgive others."
Pretty heavy when you think about it...
I will be forgiven the way that I forgive.

John 13:17 - "If you know these things...happy are you if you DO them."
Much easier said than done, though.
Knowing the right thing to do is only half the battle.

The fact of the matter is that if we profess to know and love Christ, then we need to become "professional forgivers." By this ALL men will know you are My disciples if you have LOVE for one another. Forgiveness is the litmus test of the love that we pretend to profess. Others are watching to see how we live out in relationship to others what we profess.

It's all banking on - can we extend the forgiveness that we say we have received?
Are we really different?
If we only need Christ's forgiveness for ourselves but can't extend it to others - how real is this Christianity that we profess?

Hard, messy, painful, reality....
Harsh truth to digest.

Jesus forgive us for trashing your Name - for muddying the waters for others to see.
More to come.....