To My Loves...

So here I sit -- on the Eve of a New Year -- I look back at these past twelve months...
And I remember.

Sweet boys...thank you for the gift of letting me be your Mama.
Thank you for being such great protectors of your new baby.
Thanks for taking this crazy journey with your Daddy and I.
And thanks for being so flexible on this...the ride of our lives...

My girls.  Nestled all snug in their beds...

Hopefully when you look back over this past year, you will see all of the good.  So very much good...
Hopefully your happy moments far outweigh your sad ones...
And hopefully the knowledge of your Mama's crazy love for you far outweighs the truth of her flaws.

It's good to look back.
It's good to remember.
It's why I write this book for you...

Because, when the blur of each day's wildness so quickly meshes into a week... which crashes into a month...and ultimately turns into an entire year...well, sometimes it's barely possible to just hold on - let alone look back and fully grasp all that happened during these past many days.

This was the year of surprises...deliciously delightful ones.

So, I think, looking back helps us not to live in the past...but to remember how far we've come.
To see where God has brought us.
And to fully grasp the truth of how much He has carried us.

I've heard it said that the three biggest stresses in someone's life are:  a new job, a new baby, and a move to a new place.  Well, we did all three this year - just about all at the same time, as well - and I would indeed concur that there is much truth in the previously written statement.

I think your Daddy and I have both aged a bit these past twelve months...

This is this year we sold our Home.

This year will indeed go down in the books, for sure.
This was the year where your Daddy and I walked life together like we've never walked before.
It was the year of change...and a year of stepping way back.
It was a year for letting go of any pre-conceived concepts of control.
It was the year of refining...and of letting go...of allowing ourselves to be stripped to the core...

...and it was a year of then allowing Jesus to build us back up again.
...and of allowing Him to write our Story the way that He sees fit.

It's kind of a good place to be.

And the year we made ourselves a new HOME...and allowed friends to turn into Family.

And so...

Out of all of the fifteen years that your Daddy and I have walked together side by side, while year 2013 was by far our craziest...and in some ways...our heaviest...  while it was the one filled with the most changes -- and we know Change well...

It was also our strongest together.
We walked raw and real together, he and I...
It was a year of learning, and it was a year of growth.

And when we felt out of control...and when life got spinning.
When we hadn't fully lost our joy...but we had to search a little harder to get a glimpse.
When we had no answers...and when we didn't know the way..

We just hung on all the tighter.
To each other.  And to Jesus.
Always Jesus....

Because, He's the best Story Writer, anyway...
He knows all the exciting parts.
He's written the Ending.
And He's allowed us to be a part of it all.....

So, He can me write me in however He sees fit.

So....
As another year winds down...and as a brand new one is upon us...
As today winds down and turns into tonight...
And as I kiss that man -  your Daddy - goodnight....long before that big ball drops...

We'll snuggle in.
He'll hold me close.

And I'll tell him this:  "It was crazy.  But, the story is good.
And I will still follow you to the Ends of the Earth...and back again."

Christmas Crazy.

We're thinking of starting a reality show...
One entitled "Surviving Christmas."
I think it could be a blockbuster hit.

I jest.  Honestly...
But...wowzas...that's kind of how I feel about this year's Holiday.
My family got sick, man.  Like cough-til-you-hack-up-your-supper sick.
Every last one of them, but me.
It was like some sort of plague around this place.

So much so, that we debated just staying around here instead of heading up to my Marmie's house like we usually do.  But, tradition won out - because I do love me my tradition - and I also do love me my family and the chance for every last one of us to be together under one roof for at least a night or two.  So, after a phone call up north to tell them what they would all be getting themselves into and to see if they really wanted us to come or not, we headed Home.

Because they told us to come.
But I secretly wonder if some of them regretted their decision...

We were kind of a hot mess.

Kaden stayed crashed out on the couch just about the entire time we were up there.  All three Hoolies coughed so much that my one last nerve almost jangled right out of my skin.  And that wee little house was so jam packed full with all seventeen of us, that there was barely room for anyone to move around.

It was crazy.
I seriously think that if there were cameras set up in my parent's house on constant "record mode," we'd be millionaires.  We could make us some serious money with all the personalities going on inside that place.

This game is called who can stay on their sled the longest whilst being flung around in circles.
I laughed like a crazy lady the entire time.

But, that's what family is, right?

A whole lot of crazy mixed in with a whole lot of love.
Bound by blood, but friends by choice.
Messy and loud...and imperfect...and all up in each other's grille...

That's me.  Rockin' the Bomber outfit.  And getting flung out of my sled.

And playmates from the time we were younger than our own wee babies...

So, while there was coughing and sickness...and crazy cramped quarters...and a whole lot of LOUD...
There was family and fun...and a whole lot of food.

And there was Mexican Train, baby!
My new fave family game.
I SO love a game that our entire family's gamet of ages can understand and all play together.

Ransom doesn't quite get the idea, yet, but he can still match dominoes.
And it's simple enough for Kaden and Jesse to play on their own, as well.

And so another Quint Christmas has come and gone.
I'm pretty sure my poor mother is going to have to sleep the entire month of January in order to recover.
And I'm not sure how many more babies are going to be able to fit into that wee little house.

At least one more...I know this to be true.
Wee little London will be having herself a sweet little cousin to play with come next year.
Enjoy the spotlight, Little One.
You've got to share next year!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas...

It's freezing cold outside today, and all of my Loves have horrible colds inside today. There are fevers and headaches, coughing and runny noses afoot - so even if the weather were beautiful, today would have been an inside day for all of us, regardless.

Ooooooh Christmas Tree....  Please tell me this looks like a tree.  The boys all mocked me.

But, it's cozy...and it's quiet...despite all of the sickness afoot.
So, that's nice.

Psycho Rudolph.

The day before yesterday was our Family Christmas Hurrah...with Kaden already feeling on the edge of yucky. So, we kept our festivities pretty chill...and I told my boys the story of the year when I was sick one Christmas.  I can remember just staying sprawled on the couch all day, unwrapping my gifts in a horizontal position, and watching the festivities all around me.  Sick - but still happy and content to be right smack in the middle of all of the crazy that was my family.

Our Housemates downstairs.  They now know all of our secrets....

That was Kaden just a little bit yesterday.
And that is Kevin, Kaden, and Jesse fo' shizzle today...with London also starting in on a runny nose.
...And Shandy and Silas and Isaac downstairs a bit, as well.

This morning, she be quiet.
We're supposed to head up North to my Ma's and Pa's this morning...but I'm just not sure what to do.
Tis the season for sharing all the love...just not sure if this bug really wants to be shared with all the cousins.

Clues. From the attic to the basement...and back up again we sent them.

Friday night was Christmas Eve, for us.  It was also Charlie's 32nd birthday.  So, we figured we'd lump a whole lotta' festivities together and simply dub the evening "The Booker/Hodsdon Christmas Birthday Extravaganza!"

Shandy made Charlie his fave supper of Chicken Alfredo which all of us big people ate, and I made all five Hoolies reindeer pancakes.  This is always our Christmas breakfast tradition, so we figured we'd just mix things up a bit this year and include the Hodsdon's in some of our fun.  I always let the boys open one gift on Christmas Eve, as well, but they have to work for it.  I send them all over the house looking for clues.  And since this was a Booker/Hodsdon meshing of the families bash...we decided to send all five Hoolies all over the place looking for their gifts that we as the two families got for them.

Breakfast upstairs in the big boys' room for the next morning.
Simple things so we wouldn't have to go downstairs and wake up our friends.

Just silly little Dollar Store things at each station ending with a craft kit at the kitchen table.  Kaden looked like The Walking Dead all night during their adventure, and I tucked him into bed with a fever, but he told me:  "I really did have fun, Mama!  I was just really weak."  Poor Love...

And then they all went to bed with visions of sugar plums and tylenol dancing in their heads...

Everyone slept in until 7:00 - which shows that they were a bit under the weather, but it was still really fun and exciting for the boys to wake up knowing it was our family Christmas that next morning.

I had hot chocolate, marshmallows, banana bread, mini applesauces, little yogurts, fruit, individual oatmeals, poptarts, and juice boxes at each of their places at the table.  They could eat as much or as little as they wanted, and they snacked away while Kevy read the Christmas story.

It was cozy and silly, special and increasingly louder, as the boys started waking up more and more and as their little bellies were getting filled fuller and fuller....they started feeling better...and then the Crazies started setting in....which made me happy because usually my boys are not ever mellow...so when they are I know they don't feel good...but then when they get loud, I get crazy because I get all stressed about them waking up our housemates downstairs who are also starting to feel sick...but anyway...

All that to say, my boys were back in town after being awake for about an hour...

And then London woke up.

And this is what my sweet little baby girl gave me her Mama for a Christmas present.
And uber-dee-duberly wet wet diaper.  Like soaking wet.
Like she drank 10 gallons of milk wet.
Merry Christmas to me.

My Jesse's sweet little gift to me.
He has a passionate love for the glue gun.

And my Kaden's sweet little card - complete with a homemade bracelet.
I've always told my boys that I love homemade gifts far more than store bought.
They also bought me "our favorite candy" in my stocking.

London especially liked the wrapping paper.
I especially like to kiss her little spikey haired head.

Might I interrupt this Christmas re-cap to draw your attention to my most favorite in the world sweat pants and the larger than life bright pink splotches on each leg.  This resulted from my very first and very last attempt at painting my baby girls' toe nails.  Everyone else made it look so easy.  I spilled an entire bottle of polish on me.  They lied to me.....

It is NOT easy painting little baby girl's toenails...

And once again, Kevy printed me off my entire last year's worth of blogging into a hardcover blog book to give to my babies someday when their Mama is old and grey...

My dedication to them.

I plan to print each year off into a book, and this will serve as a year by year scrapbook of our Family's Life together.  Even more than that, though, it will serve as sort of a journal of my life as their Mama, and as their Daddy's wife...as a woman trying to walk life raw and real....and hopefully as a testament of my love and faith in Jesus.

And hopefully...just as I am sure my flaws will be forever engrained in their memories as larger than life...when they read my "journal," I hope they see my love for them just as large. 

No perfection. 
Many mistakes. 
On journey with Jesus. 
Honored at the privilege of being their Mama. 
And madly in love with their Daddy.
Hopefully, this is what they'll remember, as well.

Hopefully.
I seem to like this word today.

This year, I tried a different format than I did last year.  I chose to have my book printed exactly as it looks on my blog - as opposed to printing it off in the most space saving way possible, like I did last year.  I do like the layout better; however, I had to print my pictures small - as opposed to medium, like I normally do - or else my book would cost me eight million dollars.

Next year, I'm going back to the previous, space saving format, and I'll be having my pictures be the medium sized again.  Far easier on the eyes, and far less white space in the book.  Live and learn.

And for my trickiest trick of all...
I surprised Big Daddy Kev with this bad boy 3-d deer target.
It was hiding in the shower...and I made him play "hot and cold" like we were five again in order to find it.

I had some birthday money saved up, and for the last couple of weeks, I had been "skimming" off the tops of my tips to round out what I needed for this present.  Like I said in a previous blog post...our family rule about lying is that it's completely acceptable during the Holiday season.  So, for the past two weeks, I've told Kev that I was making about 10 or 15 bucks less than I really was, and he was none the wiser.  It was great fun!

And for the rest of the day, we just vegged out and played with each other...and I resisted the urge to run around like a crazy lady and put everything back in its place and get all neat and organized.  We stayed in our jammies all morning, we played with our treasures, and then we got ready for our traditional Christmas lunch that we always have....which is Chinese food...because nothing says Merry Christmas like your local Chinese buffet.  We rounded the day out with another tradition - watching a movie we've never seen before - which was "Frozen" which was really, really good....and then we came home and crashed for the rest of the day.

And everyone got sicker, and sicker, and sicker....
But it was Merry.
And it was Simple.
It was silly, and it was special.

And it was our very last "First Christmas" in this home to ever celebrate...ever again.
Waaaaaaah....

Making Merry.

Welp.

The Hoolies tromped out in the woods and chose and cut down their very own tree for the playroom.

I'm not sure if it's my age, or this fourth baby, or the move, or the schooling of two wee Hoolies at home for the first time...or the combination of all of the above..  But, whatever it is, my Christmas preparation is at an all-time simplistic low this year.

Not a whole lotta' Hooplah going on over here.
Last year, I was up to my eyeballs in hot glue, making little homemade 3-dimensional cork boards for practically everyone I knew.  I think I made about 50 of those things.

This year...not so much.

We are keeping it simple.
But, we are also keeping it sane.
And that's a win for everyone, I tell you.

But, we are also still making merry.
We're just doing it super slow and steady.
We're still doing some homemade lovelies....
And we're just doing a few (rather than whole-hog-full-tilt-crazy) of our favorite traditions.
'Cause I do love me some tradition.

So, here are a few of the things that we've been up to.
This year we are doing an uber simple Advent countdown.
Every year I try something elaborate, and every year I get to about day twelve and call it quits.

This year a little insert came in the Thriving Family magazine (which by the way is through Focus on the Family, and it's free.  It's an awesome magazine. Just call 1-800-A-FAMILY and you'll start getting them in the mail).

This says Day 1 with the first week's candle lit.  I promise we've made it further than that.  This year, anyway...

Anyway, this Advent is done through Adventures in Odyssey (another awesome resource), and it literally takes about five or ten minutes each day to do, it's very kid friendly for all ages, and for my three crazy boys that's just about the right amount of time.  I will be saving this and doing it again next year, most likely.  Just simple and sweet.

(Although, in the interest of keeping things super real - there are still days when my boys are hanging upside down and just not "into it."  But, for the most part, they are the ones initiating this start to our day, and so far this year, we've made it up to Day 19.  That's a record for us. They also like to play with fire.  That's a bonus).

We've been doing just a wee bit of cooking for friends and for family.  Really simple things that my boys can make right along with me.  One of our favorites is ye old stick a hershey's kiss or a rollo on a pretzel, bake at 350 for two or three minutes, and then smash a Christmas M&M down onto the kiss and a pretzel down onto the rollo.  Voila!  Super cute in a mason jar with burlap wrapped around it.  Joy to the world.

And since, my sisters in the law don't read my blog, I can show my little crafty crafts that I've been working on for them this year.  In the attempts to keep things simple between the siblings, we do homemade gifts for each other...which is always my favorite anyway.  Well, this year I stumbled upon an amazing discovery at our local Chez Marden's.  Or, to truly give credit where credit is due, my Daddy-O stumbled upon these treasures and knew that I would be stoked beyond all things imaginable when he told me the news.

Chez Mardens - way over in their Hardware section - was selling 150 pound empty coffee bean burlap sacks for $1.00 apiece.  One Stinkin' Dollar!!  Is that not one of the most amazing things you've ever heard?  Well, let me tell you - instantly I got my little self on over to Pinterest and found me the easiest (no sew) burlap pillow idea in the whole wide world, and I went to town.

I like mine with the original script on the bags showing.

Sha-zam!
$1.00 burlap sacks and a $10.00 box of filler from A.C. Moore (after using my 50% off coupon).
Heavenly day, if this sleep-deprived, half-brained girly can cut out a square, fill with filler, hot glue gun and stencil on a piece of burlap to make a pillow, ANYONE can!

For gifts, I stenciled people's last names or just the word "Joy." 

Super cute.
Super easy.
Super cheap.
Made with love.
My crowning glory....at least that's as crowning as I'm going to get this year...

And other than that, we've just been having a lot of fun counting down.
After all...much of the joy and excitement is found in the anticipation.
The boys cut down their own tree for the playroom.
They've been having tea parties and making cards for loved ones.
We've been secretly wrapping presents and hanging stockings.

Making epic messes cards.

And we've been telling lies.
Lots and lots of lies.
It's okay around this time of year...I'm pretty sure it says that somewhere in the Bible...
I jest.

However, there has been an itty bitty bit of lying going around to make sure things that need to stay secret are indeed kept secret.  Full confessions will be forthcoming.

I promise.

Happy Last Day of School for some!
Happy Christmas Eve for the Bookers!

It's Friday.
I'm in Love...

God of Heaven Come Down...

O come, oh come Emmanuel...
And ransom captive Israel...

Ransom us.
Deliver us.
Open our eyes.
Set us free....

Advent.  The waiting.
We wait for you, King Jesus...
We wait.

God of Heaven who came down...and who put on human skin.
King of Kings who bent low...and who quietly slipped in the backdoor of humanity.
A baby King born...a Heavenly Groom...to woo us back to Life.
And to draw our souls to Him.

He is coming.
In this pregnant pause of "before Christmas"...it is so much more than what we make of it.
It is not about the rushing and the striving...the checking off of the lists...the do-ing and the rushing.

This is not what we are to celebrate.
This is not what we are to be about.
This is not to be my focus.

Because if it is.....than I have missed it.
I have missed Him.

Cease striving and be.
Know that He is God.
Slow....see the sacred.

We ache for You.
We wait for You.

Glory to the newborn King...

These Days.

It's Zero Dark-Thirty - and she's wide awake.
With only One thing on her mind.
I groan at the clock - trip my way down the hall.
And leave my warm blankets behind.

I try to be stealthy - all quiet and fast ~
So Ransom, her roommate keeps sleeping.
But to my dismay - her cries wake him this day.
So, back to my bed we're ALL creeping.

We snuggle in close - try to eek out more time
Before starting life for the day.
It's not meant to be.  We've been spotted - we're done ~
We hear down the hall a "HOO-ray!!!"

"Kaden!  London's awake!"
"I'm holding her first!"
"No! YOU held her first yesterday!"

They all dive right in - to this bed that's a queen.
And Mama is squished - barely breathing.
It's all arms and legs - knobby elbows and knees ~
No room left for me; so, I'm leaving.

Down the stairs for some coffee - That Kev brewed real strong.
For this girl who's still half asleep.
But these days - they are fleeting ~ This I know full well.
So, these treasured moments I keep.

I know in my heart - that these mornings will change
Not too many years down the road.
And my bed will be empty - no crowding, no noise...
And I'll cry for those days long ago.

We will lay there - just us - in our bed that's too big.
And we'll wonder how time went so fast.
In my heart locked down safe - are these moments I'll keep
So my memories forever will last.