Splashes of Joy.

Man.  I feel like these past couple of weeks have been a little rough.
I can't remember a winter where our family has fought colds and sickness like we have this year.
It's been a little brutal.

My oldest girl.

 So, with coughing and snotting, and fevers and sore throats... playdates have had to be cancelled, co-op has had to be missed, tempers have been a little testy, naps have been a little sketchy, and with several days of rain in a row as of late, it's made for a few days of somewhat slipping into survival mode.

Coffee.  It always, always, always makes me happy.

Thankfully, I feel like we're moving upward.  Slowly but surely.
Why just today, I was able to taste my food!  That's a plus.
Although, my housemate downstairs just declared that he's starting to feel a little yuck this evening....

Sigh...

Playing with rocks.  Simple joys.

Ah well.
Spring is upon us - I can feel it in my bones.
And I continue to count my Joys....especially during these past few days of dreary.

Peas and beets and spinach will go into the ground this week...just as soon as I find my "get up and go.."
Getting my hands dirty is food for my soul.

Our baby chickies are growing.
Their nighttime peep-peeping across the hall makes me happy.

Our current critter count:  32 salamanders - which we released just the other day so that we could refill our tank with:  an eel, 3 newts, and 2 tadpoles.  This makes me happy, too.  I love when all of the creatures of the forest start to wake up and my boys live and breathe catching things, and making homes for them, and catching food for them....and then releasing them in exchange for another treasure found.

One of the 32.  Released to lay their eggs.

Sweet, simple, summer pleasures.
One of my favorite ways to play and bond with my boys.

Our freshwater eel.  Just a wee little baby.

And over the week-end, we had our first, family fishing trip.

One of MANY that we shall have this summer.  All three of the Hoolies have Fishing Fever - right along with their Big Daddy.  A friend told us about this sweet little stream, which we later learned that we didn't go down far enough, and so we got skunked for the day.  But, for our first expedition out, and for London's first fishing debut, the day was pretty successful.

Ransom has come along way from our first trip last year, where after not being able to get the casting thing down - in complete frustration he chucked his pole into the rushing river, in which the Mama - being very largely great with child dove in after it.

I was surely not impressed with my third child in that moment.
So, we've come a long way, Baby.

She had fun...and she only ate about 3 rocks and one small fistful of dirt.  Not too shabby.

More Happy's...

One of my dear friends painted me a masterpiece a few weeks ago.
This, I love.
I had purchased the blank canvas, and I told her that I would trade her bread and canned goods for one of her creations.  I think I got the better deal.  It's hanging proudly in Ransom and London's room.

Love.  Love LOVE love...

And the highlight of this weekend for me was sweet Shandy downstairs teaching all of the Hoolies how to crochet.  Her youngest Hoolie broke his collarbone this past week, so she was brainstorming ideas and activities to keep him still and calm for the next couple of weeks.  I'm quite certain her intention was for a quiet evening of crafting with her baby, when my two oldest came clamoring over, begging her to teach them, as well.

I love this.
I love our families meshing.
Amidst the crazy and the loud and the wading of the waters of brotherhood and friendships...
I love splashes of calm.
And I love when the other Mama and Daddy teach my kids something that I don't know how to do.
I love when my kids learn a new skill, and I love that Shandy took the time.

So, there we have it.
Many, many joys - so many reasons to give thanks - no matter what, and in spite of...

"Something always comes to fill the empty places.  And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me...  {I am} happy in all these little things God gives." ~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

I will not disdain the small.
Because the whole of my life is made up of the tiniest of moments...
And if I neglect the small...I will miss it all.

And so, I will forever count, so that I will always remember...

#5163-5169 ~ My Joy Journey

Celebrating.

Someday...

 Someday, my goal is to make Easter the biggest of all of the Holidays in our Home.  Bigger than Christmas - and even more celebrated.  Not in the commercialized sense, and not in the gifty gift sense - but in the "this is what the meaning is behind this Holiday - and It. Is. Huge." sense.

Because Christmas is big, for sure.  Jesus - taking on flesh and moving into our neighborhood.  It's huge.  He is the greatest gift ever given, and so we celebrate and we give gifts to each other in turn, and we remember.

But Easter...  Easter is Epic.

Easter is where He wins.
Easter is the proof that this - this here and now life - is not the end of the Story.
This is just the Waiting Room until a Forever of celebrations with Jesus...a Forever of celebrations that we get to have all because of what He did for us so many years ago.

And in the day and weeks before - while we watch and while we wait...  while we are aching and groaning for winter to be gone and past...and while all that we see outside is still dead or dying with no signs yet of life.... 

That's what our lives would be forever like if He had stayed in that grave.
If all He had done was come as a baby like He did on Christmas, and die on the cross like He did on Good Friday....if He had stayed in that tomb....if we just stopped there, and if we never ever celebrated Easter....

Well, all would be lost.
There would be no reason for living.
That's why we have the Hope.
And that's why we have the Joy.

It's all because of Easter.

And I suppose we'll never get it picture perfect and just the way I want it to be.  Life is crazy, and we're all messy.  But, we'll still keep celebrating.  And with each passing year that we are given, maybe we'll help our kids remember just a little bit more.  And maybe we'll keep helping them to see why Jesus is always the answer, and why He's the only way.  Maybe we'll all learn together just how Epic Easter really is...

And I will take the silly right along with all of the seriousness.

I will happily sweat ringlets of water down my face and all the way to my toes for two hours and be the Easter Bunny for a community of kids who may have never walked through the doors of a church...  And I will sit back with tears running down, as hand after hand after hand raises high on Sunday morning.

And we will bake our resurrection rolls and play with our resurrection eggs.  We'll still have hunts outside, and we'll make bunny bread.  We'll keep some silly traditions, and we'll create some new ones as they grow.  We'll walk together.  We'll learn together.  We will pray and we will grow.

The days won't go perfect, but neither are we.
But, we will limp along, and we will do our best.
We will celebrate loud, and we will instill the joy...

Because...
Well, because it's Epic.
Lessons Learning....

My chains are gone....I've been set free...

It's In Her Blood.

The Hoolies come home today.
So, in anticipation of this joyous event, London decided to get energized whilst on a hot date with her Daddy and me.

See...
I have always let my boys steal sips of my coffee from the time they were the tiniest of ages.  No judge-y. I've had a plan all along, and there has always been a method to my madness.  My end game is this:  get my boys to love coffee as much as I do, and then when they're grown and gone, they'll still pop over once in awhile to their old Ma's for a quick cup of coffee and a wee little visit.

That's what my brothers do.
And that's what my Daddy-O always did with his Mama right up until she passed away.
I intend to carry on the tradition.

And I think Daddy's and daughters are no different.
Although, I much prefer making and eating panfuls of fudge with my own Dad.
But, in a pinch, coffee always works fabulously, as well.

Why - just a couple of weeks ago, Dad showed up on our doorstep around 7:30 a.m. and we all had about 3 pots of coffee together with our breakfast.  Coffee makes the world go round.  And it makes my Father hyper, because he's not used to our super bold brews.  Makes for some fun conversations.

Anyway, Kevy has decided to start his own tradition of sorts with London, apparently.
Although why stop at mere high test coffee?  Why not start her right in on espresso?

He thought so...
Super SUPER High test.  No sugar.  A little froth.  Fresh ground nutmeg.

Wowzas!
That'll get you up in the morning!

An espresso-laden laugh....all over Daddy.  Classic.

Yup.
She's a Booker.
And she's raring to go!
Hoolie Boys....we're ready for ya!

This Week.

My Marmie has kidnapped the three largest Hoolies for the week, and I am absolutely, positively aimless.
London and I - we don't know what to do with ourselves.

Hair style courtesy of big brother, Jesse.

I had grand plans to conquer the world, but first I decided to get sicker than a dog for the entire day on Sunday.  And kudos to the single Mama's all the world around, because for six of those twelve hours that I was sick, Kevy was working, and I literally counted down the minutes until he came home.  I rolled myself up into a little nest on the floor and let London use me as her jungle gym in between my hurling bouts of awesomeness... and I thought to myself:  "My respect level for all the single Mamas who do this day in and day out - sick or healthy - all alone and without a teammate, has seriously risen about ten notches.  They need a medal.  And many, many uninterrupted naps.  And a vacation to Hawaii."  Because then Kevy came home and took care of me.  And I slept for hours and hours.  And my Besty downstairs made me soup.  And now I feel like I went through the most amazing detox of my life, and I am right as rain.

Except, I'm a wee bit aimless without all of my normal chaos swirling around me.

And also except for the fact that London is into taking little piddly naps as of late, so all of my expected "free time" has really been broken down into about an hour in the morning and another hour in the afternoon.  That gives me one uninterrupted shower and a wee bit of housekeeping - that she can undo in two seconds flat as soon as she wakes up.

But, we're rolling with it.
And we're having fun.
Because a change is as good as a rest, so they say.

My childhood dirt road.  SO many memories....

But, I do miss the Large Ones.
I kind of like them.  A lot.

And being a Mama surely is a crazy thing, isn't it?
When they are with me and hanging all over me - loud and crazy and whirling dervishes of madness - sometimes I crave myself a break of silence.  But, then when they leave for a few days...I'm just not sure what to do with all of the silence.  And all of the personal space.  And things that stay in order for more than five minutes.  It's weird.  I feel like three pieces of me are missing....

A childhood memory.  Drawing in the "shiny mud."

They're cute.
And stinky.  And loud.  And messy.  And crazy.
And they pretty much have my whole heart.

But, until Friday, it'll just be me and all my girls.  And the Largest Hoolie of them all...
And that's kind of nice, too.

More conversations are getting finished.
A date to be had here and there.
Assessing and re-assessing life.  And priorities.  Which is always good to do.
A little more silence and a little more time for reflecting.

And a whole lot of baby girl snuggling.

And then on Friday, the chaos will once again reign supreme.
And re-entry will be loud - and maybe even a little bit painful.
But, it will be happy.
And it will be full.

Indeed.

Tools for "The Talk." Part 2.

There are many many great parenting resources available -  for every season and "issue" of parenting imaginable.  And while I could make myself crazy reading everything and every viewpoint, wondering if I am doing everything or anything right, and feeling like I'm gasping wildly to barely stay ahead...  I love to know that we are not walking this parenting journey alone.  I love walking alongside with friends - some who are way out in front of me, some right alongside me, and some just a little far behind.  I love learning together, picking brains, gleaning wisdom, sharing vulnerabilities, and walking raw and real together.

Man - this journey is a crazy one, and I am fully aware that I am just barely through the gate.  That's why I am so thankful to have so many resources -- both written and verbal -- to help us navigate the way.

Kaden turns ten in a couple of months, and for his birthday he will be getting a real "man's gun" where he will be able to honestly and truly hunt things - other than the kajillions of red squirrels that he has been slaying in the meantime whilst he awaits this glorious age of "manhood."

And while, I firmly believe that 10 is a loooong way away from being a man -- getting a gun, and being able to provide food for the family, surely is a sign of at least taking one step closer to that realm.  There's many schools of thought and much talk about how many other cultures have ceremonies for boys becoming men, and how many, if not most cultures - other than our own - don't even have the word "adolescence" in their vocabulary.  Children are taught more responsibilities at younger ages, expectations of them are greater, and they are viewed as "men" at vastly younger ages than our "18" and "21" year labels.

I find this to be interesting, and regardless of when society declares Kaden to be a "man," I still think that ten years old is a pretty pivotal age to be at, and it surely feels a lot more different than all of the other birthdays that we've celebrated so far....especially with the newfound freedom of hunting that comes with this double-digit number.

So, in preparation for this grandiose event in the not too far away future, Kaden and Daddy have been reading through this devotional book together.  All three boys, in turn will read this with him, and when London is older, she will have her own version entitled "The Princess and the Kiss."  Essentially, these are devotionals on purity...and on guarding their hearts...and their eyes.  On waiting... and on being honest, having integrity, and on being the young men and women whom God wants to grow them into.  And honestly - any one on one time alone with just one of them and Daddy is special. 

We bought the "God's Design for Sex" books for the kids a long time ago in preparation for "The Talk."  We weren't sure when we were going to have it, and how exactly it would look, but this series of four books came highly recommended to me from several Mamas who are a few years further down the road in parenting than us.  This is a four book series, and each book is broken down into age appropriate categories.

The first one is for ages 3-5, the second is for ages 5-9 and so on.  Obviously, you would read them whenever you felt it to be appropriate, regardless of the age recommendation.  I have some friends who read through all four of them when their kids were way younger than ours.  They felt their kids were ready, and so they went for it.  I feel like we have been a little bit on the later end.  Questions haven't come up until recently, so we haven't broached the topic.  On the "innocent" and "naive" scale, I feel that my boys are still very much both of these adjectives, and I don't want to "educate" them any earlier than necessary.  However, I do want us to be the ones who do the educating - not their peers or the television.  So, as questions have come up, we have answered them.

My being pregnant with London this time around brought up quite a few questions, so we felt that it was time to read Book #1 - The Story of Me, for sure.  And while the age category on the books was 3-5 years, I didn't read them to my boys until they were 6 and 9.  And honestly, for the first book there was very little "new to them" information.  If you don't use the "technical" terms for body parts in your home, this book covers those terms with a practical understanding of how God uniquely made both boys and girls.  The books use candid, age-appropriate language all within the realm of God's love and goodness of all that He has made, the nurturing family as God's context for love, and the specialness of being made a boy or a girl.  Pretty simple.  Pretty straight forward.

And just this past week - spurred on because we have been covering body systems in Science, and Jesse's textbook touched on the reproductive system so questions occurred, we read through book #2 together as a family.  Number 2 in the series is entitled "Before I was Born," and the recommended age level is for ages 5-8.  Again, my two oldest boys are now almost 7 and almost 10, and no questions have really been asked up until this point.

Let's just say that there were a few new "concepts" learned from this book.  It was equal parts hilarious and really sweet and endearing, and I think that for right now Book #2 is where we will stop.  It covered a couple of the basic questions the boys were asking without going into any additional detail - and for them, right now, that was enough.  As more questions come, more answers will as well.  And as they continue to grow older, so will more of the details.

I love the idea of taking each kid away for a weekend before they hit their teen years.  There are some really great resources designed specifically for these ages.  "Passport to Purity" and "Preparing for Adolescence" are two that come highly recommended from several friends.  I like the idea of going through these different cd collections one on one with each kid, making it special, and making it memorable.  I remember reading through some books with Mom, going out to eat, and choosing a "purity ring" together that I wore until my wedding day.

I like the idea of helping my children see the weightiness of these decisions.  I want them to enter their teen years, with their eyes wide open and hopefully with their head and hearts on straight.  That visible ring on my hand was a daily reminder to me all through my teen years.  Sounds kind of cheesy, but it worked.  I like the idea of my kids making a list of what they want in their future spouses...and of holding their standards high.  I want them to think with their heads before they fall with their hearts.

So, anyway....
Just a few of the books that we are reading through right now...at this stage of game.
Tell me what you're reading.  Tell me how you are addressing "the talk."
School me.  Let's walk together....  

"The Talk". Part 1.

There have been "some questions" afloat in our household over the past couple of weeks.
Questions involving babies and body parts, and how do these things happen, and why...
Sweet, innocent questions that show us we are slowly entering into a new chapter of life.

Looking back, I'm not really sure how the topic of sex was covered with my brothers.  I don't know if Dad talked to them, or if Mom did - or both of them, for that matter.  We were raised to use the "technical terms" for body parts...but mind you, I lived in a house with all boys, so whilst they knew the proper terminology, those terms were never not always the ones being used....  However, my mother for certain, made sure that she was the one who did the educating in all realms of sex and and purity (for me, anyway) - not the public school system that I went to, and certainly not the movies or the internet.

I don't ever remember being embarrassed or mortified, I don't ever remember being shocked, and I don't ever remember learning any new concept for someone other than her.  I was well prepared for all stages of my growing years - both physically and emotionally.  It was healthy.  It was good.  And I really believe that it was done right.  I had many friends whose parents - for whatever reasons - never talked about any of these things that take place both in our bodies and in our minds during our growing up years...so they were left to their peers...or their boyfriends to fill in the gaps of what I feel should have been taught at home.

I was also taught - from a very young age - not just about sex, but about purity...and about saving sex for one man and for one lifetime of marriage.  Not quite so foreign a concept as it is now, for sure, but still not mainstream in the public school system even twenty years ago.  And regardless of if my children choose to go this route or not for their own lives - though I pray they will - we will raise them God's way, and by God's standards...even if the whole world looking on thinks we're crazy.

Our children will learn that sex is the greatest gift they can ever give to their husband or their wife, and we will do our best to help them save that gift for their wedding night.  God knows, there's enough baggage and crap that we bring into our marriages to cause enough issues -- they don't need to bring in the ghosts of sexual partners past, as well.  This entire concept is so ludicrous to so many people nowadays that I know it will be a miracle if they are indeed able to wait.  But, it can be done - their father and I are proof positive. And I have far higher standards for my children than society does.  Sex education in this home will be far more involved them teaching them how to use a condom and telling them to have "safe sex."

I want my kids to learn how to bend the knee.
I want my kids to learn to "save sex."
I want to save them scars.
I don't want them to have unnecessary baggage.
Life is hard enough already.

But God's a specialist in bringing beauty out of ashes, as well....so if one -or all - of them don't wait until they marry, I have no doubt that God can still bless and that He can still heal.  I've seen the proof time and time again.  He is awesome that way....

But, we will ingrain it into our boys' brains and hearts that young women are not objects.  They are somebody's future wife, just as their baby sister London is -- and unless that young woman whom they are spending time with is indeed their wife, then they have no right to any part of her.  There are enough men in the world tallying up the number of women whom they are sleeping with for locker room bragging rights - God knows there is no need for three more jerks in the mix.  This will be a battle.  This will be a war for their hearts and for their souls -- and it will never ever be won by their strength alone.

But that's why they need Jesus.

And in this me-first world of expected insta-happiness....I want to raise them to be patient.  And to not look for the most popular or the most pretty - but for the one with whom they want to spend of lifetime of forevers with.  The one whom they want to raise their babies.  One who will be their friend and partner amidst a lifetime of monotony, of in and out days of crazy chaos, and of potential gut-wrenching pain.... I want them to wait for the one who will be willing and happy to follow them to the Ends of the Earth should God ever call them there....

And there are young girls out there - and I will try my hardest for raise London to be one of them - who will be willing to wait.  Who will want to be treated with respect, and who will want a boy to look at her with eyes that do not wander.  There are girls out there who want to be loved for who they are - not for what they can physically give.  And I will raise London to treat her virginity as a treasure -- one that at any point, at any stage of the game, she can give away... but a gift that she will never ever be able to get back once it is gone that very first time.

What better gift to give your husband or your wife on your wedding night?
What better gift could there be to mutually unwrap together?

And again - I will scream it from the rooftops - that I believe to my deepest core that God is a God of redemption and of second chances.  It's His specialty.  Should one or all of my children choose to go their own way and walk their own path - we will love them no less.  I just want to save my kids some heartache.   And I believe with everything in me that next to them choosing to go God's way in life -- I think their decision on whom they marry will be their second greatest life changing decision that they will ever ever make.

And I just want them to know that it can be done - regardless of what their peers may be doing.
I want them to know that the long term benefits will forever outweigh any heat of the moment difficulties.
I want them to learn to do hard things.  I want them to be different.  I want them to be examples.
I want them to be gentlemen, and to always and forever treat any and every girl as they would want their London to be treated.

I want more for them than this world expects that can be done.
I want them to go against the grain of what society says is completely acceptable.
I want them to not care if they stand alone.
And I want them to guard themselves - heart, mind, and body jealously for "the one" whom God will give to them one day.

And I pray that there are other Mama's and Daddy's out there - ones who are raising three little ladies and one wee gentleman of their own - ones who believe these things as strongly as this Mama and Daddy do. Oh God, I pray for those four kids.  For the ones who will claim the hearts of my four Loves....

Grow in grace.
Stay strong.
Wait.
Fall in love with Jesus first.
Go against the flow.
Guard your hearts....
Save yourself.  Save everything.

For that one day when she wears white...
And for the day when those three boys - now men - stand tall and teary, waiting for "their one" to walk down that aisle....