A Resolution.

I love books.

I usually have several different options going at any given time ~ one up by my bed, one in the bathroom for when I'm getting ready in the morning, one on the treadmill, one down here by the computer in the kitchen, and one in the car. I usually have my Bible, some sort of parenting book, something inspirational or challenging, and some sort of "fluff" that I could rip through in an afternoon if I could just lock myself away in the bathroom and neglect all of my wifely & motherly duties for the rest of the day. It's an addiction.

Books inspire me, they challenge me, they grow me in my walk with the Lord, and they are a constant companion ~ always beside me whether or not they ever get opened during the day ~ or even during the week, for that matter. They are with me, regardless.

And as I get ready to say goodbye to this past year of my life, I find it only fitting that I'm closing the year off with MaryBeth Chapman's book "Choosing to See." Oh my goodness - what a beautifully raw and honest book of this lady's journey through a very public marriage, depression, and essentially a double tragedy as a result of one of her older sons accidentally killing their little girl one afternoon a couple of years ago.

Watching this Mama walk, and struggle to rise above these immense sorrows in her life has humbled me. The way that she is deliberable in intentionally choosing to find and see God - and essentially, hope - in everything is amazing.

Because, ultimately, we need to do the same.

We have no idea what next year holds for us. We don't yet see what challenge, or grief, or pain we may be entrusted to carry. Or maybe some of us do. Right now, I have so many loved ones in my life who have been asked to walk difficult roads of family deaths, deep depression, struggling families, and grief from infertility and miscarriage. They see. And they are daily struggling to rise above and see the hope.

In this New Year, may we all do the same. May we all choose to see the beauty amidst the ashes, the lovely in the middle of all of the ugly, and the sacred amidst all of the chaos. May we worry far less about what others think about us and far more about being authentic and real. May we be vulnerable with each other and raw in the presence of our Savior.

And to my sweet sisters who are daily already doing this... Chantelley, Shandy, Gretchen, Sarah, Rachael, Rachel, Jodi, Jessica, and Meghan....I see you. I admire you. And I love you for your authenticity. You are walking raw and real. You are enduring.

"Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory." ~ William Barclay.
You women - and so many others - are already daily doing this.

May I do the same.
In this New Year, my prayer is that I will walk well. That I will endure. That I will rise above and see - the hope, the beauty, the sacred. And that I will allow God to write the story of my life - both the happy chapters and the ones that might be filled with sorrow and struggle.

"Joy is in the acquiescing." ~ Ann Voskamp

So, on the Eve of this New Year, I humbly open my hand to release my will and receive His. Again. The fight for joy is hard - it's a battle. Some know this far better than others. But, just as I am watching loved ones accept and allow and believe and trust...I wish to do the same.

"Eucharisteo makes the knees the vantage point of a life and I bend and the body, it says it quiet: "Thy will be done." ~ Ann Voskamp.

In the New Year - this is my one resolution....
Thy will be done, Lord Jesus.
Your agenda. Not mine.
My hands are open. Please help me not to close them tight.

Christmas in the County.

Christmas in the County is HAPPINESS.

And Happiness is:

:: Brothers and sisters - and nephews and neices - home ALL together.
Beautiful chaos.
I often think that we could make big bucks having our own reality t.v. show. It's insanity.

:: "While You Were Sleeping." Every year. It's tradition.

:: Homemade and handmade gifts. This here? Honey. Liquid Gold, Baby.

:: Late night bowls of cereal with sweet sisters-in-law. Both of us bleary and knowing full well that morning with the hoolies comes way too soon. But a little extra time with her? It's well worth it...

:: Do It Yourself projects with Grampy downstairs in "his office." Often involving burnt, pinched, or pounded fingers.

:: Uncles who are just new Daddies themselves - practicing patience with three (THREE!) wee hooligans who clamor for his attention and time. That's a lot when you are used to only one.

:: Afternoon tea and cookies with "just us girls" while the littles nap and the big boys are busy being mighty white hunters.

:: Dragging little boys (AND this year big Mama's) behind the four-wheeler on little plastic sleds - slowly at first - and then building up to the big dumps and hilarious face washes!

:: The food. OH - the food. There here is a delish fruit salsa and cinnamon sugar tortilla chip dip - courtesy of my new friend, Pinterest. Cut up as much fresh fruit as you want - and a little frozen as well, if you wish. Add a few tablespoons of homemade jam to give it some sweetness. And then take tortilla wraps, spread with a thin layer of butter and cinnamon and sugar. Bake in a 300 degree oven until crisp. Party in your mouth.

:: Brand new bits of deliciousness added to our family. What a precious gift. This is my sweet, handsome new little nephew who looks SO much like my brother, that I feel just a wee bit weird kissing him all over his face and his neck...

:: Fun gifts from a brother who knows me well.
:: Teaching the entire family "Mafia" and seeing who is a good liar and who is..er..not.
:: Fifteen partridge. A feast for supper.
:: Sweet, fun, practical, intentional gifts.
:: Time together - crazy chaos, silly fun, yummy food, and FAMILY.

"It's the joy of the small that makes life large." ~ Ann Voskamp.
Yes, it is true. I can attest to that.
#2226-#2240 of my Joy Journey.

Christmas Magic.

Yesterday and today we partied. Christmas has happened in this household.

We did the big Christmas meal - actually on Christmas Eve for us (Christmas Eve-Eve for most), we invited some that we love in to share it with us, we had a stocking stuffer scavenger hunt, we had hot chocolate and special treats, we read our Christmas story, we had our special Christmas breakfast, we opened our gifts that we bought for each other, and we took cards and treats around the neighborhood.

We.did.it.all.

Then I crashed. Hardcore. Ransom napped, Daddy and Kaden went outside to check their traps, Jesse crafted at my feet...and I just woke up with it somehow being two hours later. Whew. I was out. And now, here I sit - completely bleary-eyed with drunken fingers, thinking through our past couple of days together as a family.

The build up is always so big for me - the planning, the preparing, the wrapping, the crafting, and the cooking. So, when it's all said and done - I'm just a wee big aimless and melancholy. The adrenaline that I ran on for so many days has faded and now I'm just pooped. :0)

But it was a good Christmas.
Sweet and messy and imperfect with some kerfuffles and mishaps here and there - but nothing much unlike every other day around here.

I always have visions of how I want things to go in my mind, and things always play out a little differently - not necessarily bad always...just different. Like, when we read a special Christmas story last night by candlelight, I envisioned us all around the table quiet, (wha???) and starry eyed - in awe of what happened so many years ago.

In all actuality, it went down a little bit like this: Ransom stood on the bench talking the entire time Daddy read the story, Kaden fiddled with his stocking stuffers, and Jesse was in perpetual motion loudly blowing bubbles into his drink. Again - not much unlike every other day around here....somehow, I just thought it would be different and more...er...magical? So, Mama became Mrs. Grumpy Pants which wasn't overly festive or magical, either.

And today, the boys' "big gift" - the only gift that we actually bought in a store completely brand new, Kaden broke literally within thirty seconds of playing with it. (We got both of them little remote control helicopters). He was sad, Jesse wouldn't share his, and I was frustrated. Plus, Ransom woke up at the crack 'o dawn so he was fussy, there were threats of punishment, and I was frustrated.

Well, there wasn't a whole lot of Christmas magic in that, either.

But then, Kaden took his disappointment with such maturity, and - of his own accord - Jesse offered his helicopter to Kaden for keeps, Ransom found his rhythm and was happy --- and I was proud. They were grateful for their gifts, they generously gave to each other - unprompted and not suggested by us - gifts of their own, and they were happy and content - genuinely thankful with what they were given. They shared, they showed love, and they get that Christmas is so much more than just "getting." There is magic in that, for sure.

When we gave gifts to our neighbors - most of whom we have never met, the kids were involved for some of it and got into the spirit of being missional. And for the other "some of it," they kept asking when we could go home! Not exactly how I envisioned it, but we're getting there...

This little imperfect family - we are messy, and we mess things up.
Sometimes we get grumpy, and we focus on "us."
Sometimes we get it, and sometimes we couldn't be any further off the mark!
Sometimes we forget about the magic and the real reason we celebrate.
Sometimes we don't have it all together and we disappoint.

And I'm not really even talking about my kids...

But, then - every now and then, there are the moments when we are spot on, too. The perspective is right, the focus is where it should be, the attitudes are in the right place, the thank-you's come spontaneously and unprompted, and just like those times when I am so proud of my children and their moments of grace and maturity -- I pray that my Father sees that in me, sometimes, as well.

This is why He came so many years ago, after all.
It surely wasn't for the magical moments.
It was for the mess ups and the sin - the times of lost perspective and the times when our focus is just a wee bit (or a big bit) off.

Because we so desperately need Him every day of our lives - not just on that one magical day of the year.

He came, because no matter what we do or how we celebrate -
Lavish presents, or no gifts at all -
"Santa" or "Satan" -
Soup kitchen service or decadent meals at home -

What we do on that one day doesn't really even matter in the long run.
He came to seek and to save those who are lost - every day of the year.
And I will be forever grateful that He found me...

So, our Christmas was much like any other day at home, really - moments of magic and moments of falling off the grace wagon. Moments of special and moments of immaturity. Missional attempts and family fails. Crazy love and cozy times. Simple joys and several "I'm sorry's." Lots of little specials mixed in with a whole lot of normals.

Messy. Imperfect. Flawed. Loved. Accepted. Forgiven. Magical. Missional. Real. That's us.

And now, to go out with a bang - we are finishing off the day with Chinese and a Christmas movie. Now, that's a pretty magical ending, in my book! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GREAT night!

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas...

(The view from my window this very early morning).
May your day be merry and bright....
And may your Christmas be white!

* * * *
2218. Snow in time for Christmas.
2219. Big, fluffy flakes - quiet and peaceful.
2220. Inside, the same.
2221. Alone with my coffee and my thoughts.
2222. Turkey and pie in the oven - comfort foods for those I love.
2223. Family and neighbors breaking bread together today.
2224. Cozy family, crazy love.
2225. Christ came down - Emmanuel.

Today.

It is officially Christmas Eve-Eve in our little family's establishment.

We have had a lovely, simple week of build up to our big celebration. Sweet visits with dear, wonderful friends and playmates. Popovers and tea, bread and coffee...simple foodies, simple, sweet conversation -- and I don't know, everything is just better in my book, when there is anticipation involved. So, what is a "norm" in our house of certain friends coming over each and every week -- becomes a super, special "Christmas visit" in my boy's book -- just because it's Christmas week.

And, it does in mine, as well.
I see all that I have a little more clearly.
And I see them for what they are - beautiful, God-given gifts.
Man...those are the best Christmas presents, ever.
Deep, true-blue, walk-through-life-together friendships.
How blessed we are...

* * * *
Today my boys and I - we shall do the galivanting for a change.
We are going to go and spend the day with dear friends and future wives for my boys.

This friend of mine - she has three girls who are lovely.
I have three boys who are hoolies.
These are matches made in Heaven, if I you ask me!
And I am a fan of arranged marriages. Just sayin'.
Plus - they all have their very own little dirt bikes that they ride. It doesn't get much better in my boy's books. Ha!

And I can't wait to go and see her and touch her little tummy that is just starting to swell with identical twin boys. Be.still.my.heart. I might need to drink a lot of her water, because I'm feeling me the need to have one more myself these days...

Kev says if that were to ever happen there would be no pretending that we were even remotely in control! Right now we live lives of "controlled chaos." If baby #4 were to ever happen, chaos would reign supreme, for sure.

So he says.
We shall see. I say, embrace the chaos, Baby!
Negotiations are still on the table concerning this entire matter....

* * * * *
Tomorrow will be our little Christmas Eve family celebration.

We are having my neighbor Lew over for a big turkey dinner and some silly Christmas games.
Lew likes the crazy.
He tells me so.

And then, we are going to go and deliver a bunch of Christmas goodies to our neighbors all around us. Some we still have yet to meet and some we are still just getting to know. We are trying. Trying to make ourselves known. Trying to be missional. Trying to "be Christ" to those around us.

Emmanuel.
God With Us.
Might all those with whom we come in contact see that God is indeed with us.

* * * * *
2206. The gift of deep, true-blue friends.
2207. How blessed to be safe and loved in being "me."
2208. Raising and loving our children together.
2209. Grace and love shared and freely displayed.
2210. Sweet Lew - may he feel loved by our family.
2211. Cozy food, tasty treats - tangible love.
2212. Simple celebrations.
2213. Silly crafts - flops and fails.
2214. Ice storms for skating.
2215. Trying...to teach, show, & live the blessing of giving.
2216. New life growing - living, breathing, kicking!
2217. Anticipation.


Kudos to Rachey for the pics...
Thanks for recording my life when you come over. It's lovely, really.

For the Littles in Our Lives.

If you want to be a hero in your kid's eyes - or maybe this only works with mine, because they're all such little piggies....

Homemade marshmallows is where it's at.

And these little babies being a two-step process, is also where it's at in this Mama's book. I like things that happen in stages. It lowers the chances of epic messes in my household.

So, here's what you need and what you need to do.
Amazingly easy and super cute kidlet gifts, to boot!
It's win-win for everyone, I tell you!

Okay, where was I....

All you do is this:

Take 4-.25 oz each pkg. unflavored gelatin and sprinkle these over 3/4 cup of water and 1 Tablespoon of pure vanilla extract in a bowl. Let sit and wait.

Boil 1 3/4 cups sugar, 1 cup light corn syrup, 1/2 cup water, and 1/4 tsp. kosher salt in a pot over medium-high heat. Once it comes to a boil, cover and boil for two minutes, and then uncover and keep boiling for about ten minutes. If you have a candy thermometer, let it cook until it reaches 250 degrees. I just do ten-ish minutes.

Remove pot from heat and slowly drizzle over your now very gelatenous mixture that you have waiting for you on the cupboard. Here's the only work involved: You need to mix this mixture (blend this batter? beat this baby?) until the mixture is thick and the bowl is pretty cool to the touch. About 15 minutes.

If you have a Kitchen Aid mixer, you're in luck. If you are me and you only have a plain old beater....you're not in luck, and you must use those arm muscles that the good Lord gave you. The recipe also says to put a towel over the bowl. I find this to be a bit cumbersome, but it does help keep the splatters at bay.

When you're pooped, divide the marshmallow batter between two lightly greased 8x8 pans - or if you are me, one 8x8 pan and one 9x9 pan. Spread the mixture to the corners of the pan and let sit for at least 4 hours to "cure" - or overnight.

I always choose the overnight option, because I'm lazy.

Next day - or four hours later, if you like to be a show-off - turn marshmallows onto a cutting board that is lightly coated with cooking spray. Cut them into 1 inch cubes - or whatever size brings you happiness - and toss in a bowl of 3/4 cup powdered sugar, 1/3 cup cornstarch, and a few hefty shakes of cinnamon if you feel like walking on the wild side. I recommend the walking. Be crazy.... Shake off the excess, and store in airtight container for up to a week.

After a week, they still will taste okay, but they will lose their white-ish color.

Share, share, share!
Give, give, give!
Eat, eat, eat!
And save some for your Christmas morning hot cocoa.

Here's to spreading the Christmas love, Baby....

Crafting. Ish.

You know those sweet little snow globes that you see everywhere?

They are super expensive in stores, and I've seen a variety of tutorials here, there, and everywhere - so I figured me and the boyzies could make our own the other day.

But, don't be looking here for a tutorial...

Ours came out more or less "ish."
But, in a world of boys - a craft of "ish-ness" works for us.

We collected various jam and canning jars, and then I searched to high heavens for "Christmasy" critters and what-nots to put inside our globes.

Being a household of boys, they could've cared less if they used a Christmasy theme or not, so we have ourselves some dinosaurs in the forest, an army man alongside a bear, and all sorts of various and sundry...er...festiveness.

I didn't have fake snow, so we used glitter.

And I didn't really have a sweet clue what I was doing, so the next morning, a few of our winter scenes were floating upside down, so you know -- it was a bit of a flop.

But, this scene sits proudly as our table's centerpiece screaming "Merry Christmas to all!"

What? You can't tell what these things are?
Me neither.

This And That.

I am feeding my boys grape nuts for breakfast - hot with a touch of brown sugar, the way I grew up eating them. They are all less than impressed with this new taste treat, and they have kindly told me that they would be happy to never eat them again. The negotiations have begun for an alternative breakfast. I have told them that some kids eat mud for breakfast, so "bottoms up," boys.

My mercy gift is strong today.

Well, here we are at Day #2 after our late night of partying, and I am still bleary eyed. One of the boys was crying in the middle of the night last night, and as I "flew from my bed to see what was the matter" I promptly ran right smack into one of our bedroom walls.

It was awesome.
So today, I not only have the typical fuzz head of sleep deprivation, but I also have a raging headache to boot. I'm going to be on top of my game today. I can just feel it in my bones.

(This little boy has a fat lip right now from taking a digger on a train table; and I find his new look equally adorable and hilarious).
* * * * *
Last week, in a moment of weakness, I taught the boys an old Christmas tune that one of my brothers taught me years ago. It goes along to the tune of Jingle Bells, but the lyrics are geared more toward...er..."boy humor."

Allow me to share the song that I am now hearing at least a kajillion times a day:
"Jingle Bells, Santa smells -
Fifty miles away.
Blows his nose in his Cheerios -
And he eats them every day! HEY!"

Other variations have included thus far:
"Wipes his nose with his stinky toes..." and
"Picks his nose with his smelly toes..."

The creativity in this house is astounding.
And I am really starting to regret that moment of weakness...
I knew I would, but I just couldn't help myself the other day.
I am a weak woman.
* * * * *
We cooked and crafted yesterday. If you can call it that. I don't really remember yesterday, actually, but I have the pictures to prove that we did indeed do something.

These are the little yummies that we are gifting out to our neighbors.
Homemade peppermint patties.
Easy sneezy, very few ingredients, and taste just like the peppermint patties you'd buy in the store. Or better.

Here's what you do:
Take 1 8oz. package of softened cream cheese, and in a large bowl beat this with 2 teaspoons of PURE peppermint extract until fluffy. Slowly add 9 (NINE!!!) cups of confectioner's sugar and beat until fully combined. Mix thoroughly with hands.

Shape into 1 inch balls. Place on waxed paper-lined baking sheets. Flatten into patties. Cover and refrigerate for one hour or until chilled.

In a microwave melt 1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips, 1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, and 3-5 Tablespoons shortening. (I know. This is the only recipe in my house that we use shortening for. I justify it by saying that the entire recipe has not a single ounce of health in it, so go big or go home, baby).

Cool slightly. Dip patties in melted chocolate, and place on waxed paper until firm. Store in the fridge. Yeilds about 4 dozen.

There you have it. Joy to the world.

Happy "Six Days Before Christmas!"