Settling In...

After a week on the road for our missions' staff retreat in beautiful Pennsylvania, we are HOME and settling back into our pace of life as we know it here. Two times a year the East coast staff with U.S. Center for World Mission gets together to reconnect, encourage, cast vision, and just be together for a few days. It's a really nice time of refreshment, mutual encouragement, and a really fabulous balance of both work and play! We were the only family there with young children, so we would go to some of the meetings - fully decked out with school, books, legos, trucks, and crayons; and then, when the natives got a little restless, the littles and I went back to our room and played, or just explored the retreat center until everyone broke for lunch or supper. It was a pretty sweet deal.
There are SO many things that we love about Pennsylvania. This was our home away from home for three years, after all; and Jesse is our little PA souvinir that we brought back home with us! We were able to see a couple of friends from Philadelphia Biblical University, we explored some of our old haunts, and we spent the week-end with our church family where Kev led worship for three years. I tell you what - that just put the wind back into our sails and totally encouraged us in SO many ways. That chapter of our lives has God's grace written all over it. Not that every chapter doesn't have His grace woven in and throughout...but that three year season in Philly - (after my initial grieving of the total uproot and major move away from home, family, friends and life as I knew it, along with being a brand new Mama was dealt with) - just totally and completely turned out to be an awesome chapter of rest and growth. And it was a time for me where God truly proved Himself faithful on so many levels.
We were brand new parents, and we had just moved away from both sets of family, from awesome friends, from a totally supportive and loving home church, from my very first HoMe, and from the country --- to the city where I knew no-one, to a brand new church that was a totally different culture for me, and to a University where we were the only ones pushing a stroller during Freshman orientation. I was a fish out of water, and the entire packing time up to the move, I was stressed, sad, and worried. My parents built their first home, had all their babies there, and fully intend to grow old and die in that home...and I guess I had always assumed that I would do the same. In my book, we had the perfect life. Sweet little house in the country, sweet little baby, we were close to both sets of parents, and we had sweet jobs - Kev as Youth pastor and me as a part-time teacher at a local Christian school. As far as I was concerned, my future was mapped out.
So this move - this true leaving and cleaving and following my husband and the Lord was a total and complete testing of my faith, and really - for the first time in my life it was a time when I saw the Lord provide for me and prove Himself faithful exceedingly and abundantly above and beyond all I could have ever asked for or imagined. Some dear friends made a weekend roadtrip with us before the actual move for a complete apartment overhaul. We ripped up old carpets, sanded and urethaned wooden floors, painted every wall, and totally set everything up, so that we when walked through the doors the first night of our move, I was honestly happy and it already felt like home because of the work that had already been done previous. Our first year there, several young couples moved into the complex and for our entire time as students we lived glorified dorm life - married style - where we all had babies together, grilled in our backyard, and went on week-end adventures all over the place together. Our new church welcomed us with open arms and showed us unconditional love and support. They threw me a ginormous baby shower for Jesse, and they surrounded us with love and support when he burnt his hands and had to have skin graft surgery. And we made some of the best friends of our lives -many with whom we still stay in contact.
Over and over, time and again - God filled in the gaps for me. He proved Himself faithful, and those three years have changed me. I love my home and my life here. I am perfectly content with my little world, my job, my neighbors, my friends, my ministry, my chickens, and my garden. But I have the heart of a nomad now. If God asked me to, I could give this up - because friends and family are forever, anyway - and everything else is just details. So because of these lessons learned in my life, and because of that season of grace and growth, Pennsylvania will be forever dear to my heart, and it will always be a home away from home for our little family.

Little Loves...

Happy Saturday!

It's been awhile since I've listed my week's top faves, and this week's been a good one. Just a lot of little loves - sweet little gifts and blessings, nothing big in and of themselves on the one hand....but on the other, all of life is a gift, right?

And as that oldy but goody song goes: "Count your blessings, name them one by one," so I shall. Besides, "happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling," right? Or so said Miss Margaret Lee Rubeck once upon a time. And I think she's a pretty smart lady...

So, without further adoOOo....

:: Long catch up conversations with friends where we go deep, share our hearts and our hurts, and we trust each other enough to put our true selves out on the line for each other. I love that.

:: Playdates. It's been awhile, and my boys are finally over the walking crud, so this week, Mamas were able to visit and drink coffee and tea, and little boys were able to play and work and share together.

:: My girls. I love them. And I am getting more soon. The goat prospect is not looking too hopeful, but we are at least adding a few more layer hens and a handful of meat birds to the flock soon. Super excited for little baby fluff to arrive.

:: First BBQ of the season with family, neighbors, and new friends. We are trying to really get to know our neighbors and be intentional in our relationships with those in our community. We had beautiful weather, a really good group of people, and just a lot of fun with new friends and some old, as well.

:: One mama and I were commenting on how we could really take a good lesson from our children in how to make friends. Little kids are amazing at this. There is no sizing up, no competition, and no awkwardness. We simply make introductions, and then they are off - running, playing, and exploring without a single care in the world.

It would behoove us to imitate that model.

:: This boy and his cat. Our sweet little Smudge is just like a puppy. Wherever the kids are - that is where he wants to be. If they are climbing a tree, so is he. If they are digging for worms in the garden, he is sprawled in the dirt. If they are watching t.v., he wants to be in one of their laps. And since his little surgery, the "marking" of his territory has stopped, and so he shall stay. It was touch and go for a few weeks, but I think we are in the clear. And that makes me happy.

:: Joe. He and I are having a few clandestine meetings throughout the day, these days - and not just solely in the morning. I just love him too much. And since Kevy's tummy is starting to level out, he and I have actually had a couple of cups of Joe together this week.

All is now right in the world.

:: New life. It's springing up everywhere, and I think it's now safe to finally say that winter is over. The boots and ski pants have officially made their final debut and they are packed away FOR GOOD until next season. Good riddance to winter.

:: I hid a kajillion jelly beans all throughout the house on Easter, and we are still finding them. Very reminicent of my childhood and the fun it was to find jelly beans weeks later. Good times. Like I said, it's the little things, right?

:: And these four boys of mine. How I love them. They are all so sweet and dear in their individual ways. I love their personalities, their quirks, their tenderness, and their humor. And they love me - imperfect and messy though I am - which makes me love them even more.


So there you have it.
Little loves from this past week.

* * * *
2741.-2750. My joy journey - loves of this week.
2751. First fish of the season.
2752. Spring - finally and fully here.
2753. The peepers at night - perfect lullabys for falling asleep.
2754. Mom and Dad here just for the night.
2755. Sleepy games of Cribbage first thing in the morning with Dad.
2756. Dear friends to walk life with.
2757. Warm evening for the season's first bbq.
2758. Deep, heartfelt conversations.
2759. Brave new friends who jump right into our lives!
2760. Simple pleasures, little loves, sweet blessings.

"It's the joy of the small that makes life large." ~ Ann Voskamp

Kids at Play.

There's a book that's been out for quite awhile now that I'm really interested in getting my hands on. It's called "The Last Child in the Woods" written by Richard Louv.

His entire premise is this: "Children are spending more time indoors, and when they do go outside, they're most likely to be on their way to soccer practice or some other structured activity. The result, is that kids are out of touch with fields, streams and woods."

Louv calls this condition "Nature Deficit Disorder."

He goes on to say: "Our kids are actually doing what we told them to do when they sit in front of that TV all day or in front of that computer game all day. The society is telling kids unconsciously that nature's in the past. It really doesn't count anymore, that the future is in electronics, and besides, the bogeyman is in the woods."

Interesting. Maybe he's onto something?

I wonder if more and more, we are going to see kids exchanging their bicycles for the wii and kinect, if we'll watch empires get built online instead of castles and forts being built in our backyards, and if bb guns and slingshots will stay on store shelves in favor of video and hunting games online. Don't get me wrong - Kaden just earned himself a DS, and "Big Buck Hunter" is one of our all time favorite presents from Christmas. I'm not opposed to any of those things - and we do them all, just about daily, in fact.

I just think balance is important.

Already, my boys have a different childhood than I had. My boundaries were non-existent, just so long as we could hear the dinner bell being rung for supper. There were minimal structured activities that I was involved in as a young kid. And I didn't even have a t.v. for most of my growing up years.

My parents practically raised us kids outside, and they didn't feel the need to perpetually entertain us. We were taught that it was good to experience a little bit of boredom, because that made us actually have to use our imaginations a bit. And we knew that if we honestly could not find something to do, there was a ginormous garden that was always in need of a good weeding.

We learned very early on to never say that we were bored.

My best friend and I spent hours in our chicken coop playhouse, our bikes were our horses, we had pretend houses in the woods, we played for hours in the stream, we caught frogs and tadpoles, we visited our grandparents, we went sliding down "Killer Hill" and our imaginations ran wild and free.

And those are my absolute best childhood memories.
Cheap, free entertainment. Two kids and their imaginations.

I think that's why the phrase, "Mama, I'm bored," is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Oh man. It grinds me something awful.

But on the flip side, there is nothing I love more than to see my kids living outside. In fact, I value it so highly that if they are building forts or looking for frogs, or if they are planting seeds or catching butterflies -- I am totally cool with that being "school." Because, I'm crunchy like that and because I fully believe that school is all of life - it's not just the book work and the assignments.

And I love to see my kids be "kids" - and doing little kid things that little kids should be doing. Things like P-L-A-Y-I-N-G.

It's one of the reasons why we've chosen to wait until the boys are six before we do any form of "formal" education - homeschool, Christian school, public school, or whatever. But, that's just us. And it's also one of the reasons why I'm not (too, overly) stressed about Jesse not knowing all of his letters yet.

That will come.

And "stuctured life" will, as well - and once it arrives, it will stay.
There will be no going back.

This season of childhood is so fleeting.

These few years of playing and of getting to really and truly be a kid are so super short.

And maybe I am the only one who struggles with this, but I am constantly battling (and somewhat stressing) about how many (if any) structured activities I should be involving my children in. I want them to be as well-rounded as the next kid, and I want them to be successful, and I want to give them ample opportunity to really flourish and thrive. But I also don't want to be living in our vehicle, or be running around like chickens with our heads cut off, or never have any family suppers together because of all of our activities and involvements.

Balance again, I guess, right?

And every family will look different, and comparison destroys contentment.
So, we have to do right by our own little family's personality and needs.

And I guess for me - at least at this stage of the game - "less is more" for me.
I think that's kind of where I've landed. For now, anyway.
And they are still learning. Every day they're learning. So many things.

How to make bread, how to ride a bike, how to care for our animals, how to plant a garden, the life cycle of frogs and butterflies, fishing and hunting, building and exploring.

All of life is learning.

School is home, and school is work, and school is the classroom, and school is play.
We learn by living, and the whole world is our classroom.

So what about you?
Has anyone else read this book? Do you agree with the author?
Does anyone else struggle with wondering what they should involve their children in?
What are your thoughts on all of this stuff?

Chicken Run.

My chickens escaped today while I was mucking out their coop, and I just didn't have the heart to chase them back inside. They were so happy to be free, and the boys were so happy to have them be free, and I was so happy watching them be free, that I just decided to let the chips fall where they may for the day.

Smudge was very unsure of what to think of this entire procedure.
He even attempted a pounce or two at them.

They were completely unfazed and even rose to the challenge a bit.
And after that, for the rest of the morning, they all just sort of hung out together.
It was very sweet and funny.

Anyway....

It's the simple things around here, I guess.
The very...very...simple things.

Muffin Monday.

Okay. I am NOT one of those homeschooling Mama's who does super craftily (a word?) awesome things with her kids each day of the school week. I never do muffin Monday or taco Tuesday, or count 100 kajillion different things on day 100 of school. I don't take advantage of President's Day to teach my kids fun facts about our past presidents, nor do I make super fun snacks and crafts on the first day of spring or have little goodie bags on their first day of school. I don't take advantage of St. Patrick's day to teach them about good old St. Patrick - instead, one year I made green eggs and ham and it was a total bomb so I've never done THAT again....

Anyway, you get the picture.

I barely know what day of the week it is, the holidays always seem to creep up on me, and day 100 of school kind of blew past a few months ago. I have great intentions, lofty ones, even - and I pin a million ideas onto Pinterest, I just seem to have a severe lack of follow thru.

Or maybe it's sheer lazyness.
Or simple survival.
Not sure yet. Still looking into it.

Anyhoo, lest anyone think that I'm cool like that, I'm not. I wish I was. I want to be. But I'm not, and it is what it is. That's my new motto in life. I have several homeschooling Mama friends who you could go and read about if you're wanting some amazing inspiration or some good "how to" advice or amazingly creative fodder for any number of ideas. Come over to my house if you want to feel good about yourself, though. Just sayin'.

So, today when I made us some muffins for our mid-morning snack, I was feeling all amazing about myself when I said we were having "Muffin Monday." That is, until Kaden said: "Oh! Can we do this every Monday?" And I knew better than to make any such promises, so I just said the old Mommy stand-by, "We'll see, Honey. Okay?"

But, I digress....

The whole point of this post was to share a muffin recipe that we make weekly around here. It's a kind of "everything but the kitchen sink" kind of a recipe where it's super healthy, you can feel no guilt about letting your kids eat as many as they want, and as long as you have a few staples, you can pretty much throw whatever you have in your cupboards into them.

Everytime I make them, my dry ingredients stay pretty much the same, but I mix and match my wet stuff. They are a pretty "bland" muffin - I would prefer to have a ton of chocolate chips in them, myself. However, two of my boys are not fans of anything overly sweet. And I guess, that would defeat the health purposes, anyway.

So, here goes:

Mix all the dry in one bowl:
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup spelt flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup dry old fashioned oats
3 teaspoons cinnamon - or more.
shake or so of nutmeg
1 or 2 shredded wheat cereal squares - optional. I had some today, so I threw them in.

Mix all wet in a different bowl:
2 eggs
1 1/3 cups milk - regular, buttermilk, soy, or almond.
1/4 cup olive oil
1/3 cup applesauce
1 cup cooked oatmeal - I always make these when we have leftover hot cereal.
1 cup any fruit - blueberries or whatever
1/4 cup pure maple syrup or honey
1 Tablespoon pure vanilla

and today I also threw in:
2 mashed bananas
2 apples chunked
about 1/3 cup canned pumpkin
our leftover oatbran from breakfast - instead of the usual oatmeal
and a little fistful of ground flax seed.

Truly, whatever you want to put in, just chuck it in!
Mix all ingredients together, and voila!
Preheat oven to 375, grease your pans, and bake until toothpick tests clean.

For my fellow chocoholic Jesse and I, I put three chocolate chips on the tops of each of our muffins, and I do declare that just about made them!

Bake them on a Monday where you talk about the letter "M" all day and do various and sundry "m" crafts to be a truly rockin' Mama, or just be like me and bake them whenever your little heart desires....and have your four year old tell you that a "J" is an "I for Orange."

Resurrection Sunday.

Amazing Love!
How can it be - that you, my King, would die for ME?

Fishing Fever.

Fishing season has begun.
It's ALL they want to do for fun!

We are up at crack 'o dawn.
Time to put our wellies on.

Wormies at the breakfast table?
Wretched manners!! I'm not able --

To control these hoolie guys.
"Fishing Fever's" in their eyes.

Jesse's in the car by 8:00.
"Hurry Mama! - I can't wait!"

Kevy says: "Let's go! Let's go!"
Mama's moving kind of slow.

Beds are unmade, hair's not brushed.
Eyes are bleary, feeling rushed.

(Here she is....Mrs. Alaska).

This is now my lot in life.
Fishing Mama. Fishing wife.

We are such a motley crew!
"Stylish" is NOT what we do...

Dirt and mud up to my thighs.
Now I look like all the guys.

Freezing fingers, chilly nose.
Tripped and fell -- now soaking toes!

Casting lines and skipping rocks.
Chillin' out, not watching clocks.



Finding pinecones, seeing nests.
Outdoor fun they love the best.

Finding frog's eggs - it's begun!
That's the sign that Spring HAS sprung!

Jesse kissed those froggies - EW!
Then he dared his Mama to.

I obliged, and Kev said: "SICK!"
"Now you're going to catch some ick!"

"Not to worry, Love." I smiled.
"He's for sure, his Mama's child."

Filthy, wild, and messy crew.
Crazy love is what we do.

* * * *
"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling." ~ Margaret Lee Runbeck.

2726. Family days.
2727. Kevy who thinks up crazy adventures.
2728. New places to explore.
2729. Four mile hikes.
2730. Creation - wild and beautiful.
2739. Nests, squirrels, frogs eggs, and worms.
2740. Little boys who love to be outside.

Easter Prep...{or lack thereof....}

I was on the phone with a friend yesterday - me always moving, never stopping - sweeping, folding, washing - always fighting to push back on the chaos of our life, always racing the clock to get one more task accomplished, when I am stopped dead in my tracks...

She is talking - catching me up on her life, sharing with the heart of a fellow Mama when she says..."...because I've always said that I want Easter to be just as big as Christmas in our family. I want it to be just as awesome. After all, you can't have one without the other."

And I am slain.

Because it's true.
And Easter is Sunday, and I have hardly given it a thought.

And this year, above all others previous, I have done the absolute worst job in preparing my childrens' hearts - let alone my own, for this day. Nine times out of ten I have completely neglected their jelly bean jars. We have not read one single Easter story. I haven't even brought out the Resurrection Eggs for the kids to look at and touch. And even the Easter set that my mom bought for the boys as a visual reminder of what this season is all about has been tucked away because the angel {read: hooligans} has broken his wings.

But I have made sure that schooling has gotten accomplished for the week. And an entire book got read. And I have stayed on top of Facebook and have even had time to write a couple of blogposts. It's all in what we choose to make time for, right? What we value as important? Those are the things that I always seem to be able to rearrange my schedule for.

And I am reminded again of what increasingly seems to have become my life verse: "We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing." ~ Psalm 39:6

Nothing.
Because hurry makes us hurt, and it almost always empties the soul.
And how can we ever really and fully enter into the present of "now" when we are always rushing to accomplish whatever is next on the list?

Elizabeth Elliot once said: "Wherever you are, be all there."

And "here" is where HE is.
And here is the only place where I can love Him - right now.
And here is where things are done that will mean something in Eternity.
And what have I done today, with all of this gift of time, that will be valued in the Hereafter?

Surely not the sweeping and the folding and the washing.
This I know to be true.

So today, I fought my natural impulses to do, and conquer, and accomplish.
And today we redeemed time.
We entered fully, and we fully slowed.
Life is not an emergency - it is something sacred. A gift to fully BE.

And my boys are not tasks, and this home is just dust.
And these days they are fleeting, and I need eyes to see.
Heaven's eyes.
Jesus eyes.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." ~ J.R.R. Tolkien.

* * * * *
2711. Gentle reminders.
2712. Unknowing rebukes.
2713. Three pairs of eyes watching. Learning. Modeling.
2714. A break from the normal.
2715. Easter stories and movies.
2716. Sweet conversation.
2717. Understanding hearts.
2718. Resurrection roll misshaps.
2719. Jesse's: "Yes! Thanks for staying, Jesus!"
2720. Tea on fine china.
2721. Eternal perspective.
2722. Letting go a bit more.
2723. Lessons learning. And learning. And re-learning.
2724. Patient sons.
2725. Patient Father.