Phone Dump.

One of my New Year's goals was to write and record in this little space of mine a whole lot more than I did last year.  

Mornings with Jesus.  And silence.  And coffee.  My Sanity.....

 Once a week, was my goal - but, since goals were meant to be broken - we'll just go with once a month, maybe.  Not so lofty.

And since my phone is sorely lacking in storage and it perpetually reminds me to make room for more by removing something, I figure if I do a monthly photo dump, that could maybe kill two birds with one stone.  I'll throw whatever new photos that are on that baby over here - and kind of have a little montage of pictures that was our life - AND, I'll clear some space in the process.  Win win.  And since it's the little tiny moments that make up our days in the first place....methinks it will be a pretty accurate little highlights reel.

Emphasis on "highlights" because that's the whole idea in the first place....
Record the Joys...
Forget the other junk.

Booker Chick Kicks.

 My life in pixels, right here...

 Creations 

and Messes...

CREATING.

Every single day of my life.

 School Days of quiet and cozy.

And school days of .......not...that.

And spill after spill after spill.....

Games and balls and beanbags and dartguns.

....And pretty much anything that can be thrown.

And bread.

SO much bread.

Throw these ingredients into your bread machine:

2 cups unbleached bread flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

2 Tablespoons molasses

2 Tablespoons olive oil

1 1/2 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoon yeast

2 Tablespoons wheat gluten (or 2 Tablespoons chia seeds soaked in water)

1/4 cup milk

Meanwhile, soak:  1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/8 cup flaxseed, fist full of grapenuts into a bowl 

Mix with 1 1/4 cup boiling water.  Let sit for 15 minutes.

Add to rest of ingredients.

Set bread machine on "dough."  When the time is up, throw it in a greased loaf pan for its last rise.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

Easy Peasy. 

 My girls.

With hopefully the addition of more in the Spring.

And ducklings, too.

And maybe a puppy.

(With all remaining semblances of sanity completely thrown to the wind).

The yearly torching of the Christmas tree.

It's tradition.

Complete with camp coffee and hotdogs post bonfire.

 Camp Coffee.

and Ice Fishing.

Freezing toes and buns thrown in for free.....

 (The Hoolie boys provided for the family, so I told them they can stick around for a little bit longer.

So long as they earn their keep.....)

 Homemade creations by my Jesse...

And afternoon hot chocolate and story reading.

My favorite part of our day...

(Minus the above photo of spilled hot chocolate all over said favorite part of the day....)

 The boy....and His love for all things hunting and fishing and target practicing.

My most quiet and most gentle of them all.

My biggest Lover of Nature....

 This.

My most favorite photo dumped picture of them all....

This girl and her love for her boys.....and their love for her.

It's a precious, precious thing...

Watching her boys out the window....traipse across the field on a wild and brave adventure.

Without her.

And the broken heart that ensued....

 Late night music practices....when little girls should have long past been in bed.

And sweet sweet friends who entertain and color with her while we sing.....

Staff meetings.

And friends who do a really great job at building up one's ego.

....Because I wrote in her date book when she wasn't looking....and added a "to do" to her list...

"Tell Amy she's awesome."

Check.

 Last minute blitzy road trips with an old friend and your girl to surprise your Mama....

Because sometimes you just need your Mama....

And your Country.

And the wide open spaces.

One of my deepest joys....

And there we have it.

January's Highlight Reel.

"Find Joy in the Ordinary."

Embrace the Chaos.

Find the Holy.

See the Sacred.

Live the Thanks.

Say, "I'm Sorry."

Hug them Hard.

Love them Deeply.

For the Love of It...

My Family, for certain, was planted in the correct and proper State.
Maine caters - in every way - to the deep love for the outdoors that lives within each one of them.
Kev said to me just this morning:  "I was made to be outside."
He lives and breathes it.  It brings him joy.  It clears his mind. And it gives him peace.
Every single outdoor sport he loves, and he is quickly instilling that love into each of our children.

I count myself as one of those Lovers of the outdoors, as well.... whenever my fingers and toes aren't freezing.  When they are, I'd like to move to Florida and kiss the cold good-bye.  I'm a hypocritical Mainer.  I mostly love it.  And then there are a few weeks when I mostly don't.  But, my family is cute and I love them, so I'm usually up for one of their crazy adventure ideas no matter the weather outside...and no matter their crazy scheme...

Ironically, whatever minnows don't die by the fishing....the remainder become "pets."

We have had "Happy Hurricane" Birthday parties when the birthday was planned in advance with every single activity to take place outside. When morning dawned, we were literally in the midst of a torrential rainstorm....yet we plowed ahead with the plans anyway.  We played Minute to Win It games in our crazy old redneck garage.  Dad made camp fudge on a burner stove in the doorway, so we wouldn't choke on the fumes.  The guys rigged up a tarp so we could still have our hot dog roast...with a little smudge fire literally burning in the midst of a ginormous puddle.  Insanity.  And London was one month old at the time!  And the funniest part of it all, was that I was trying to relieve myself from a little bit of crazy, because we usually go camping on the boys' birthdays, and I wasn't feeling up for it with a newborn.  But, like I said - my family's cute - so we moved forward with little boy dreams of adventure.

Other times, we've hiked up Mount Battie in the middle of winter, pitched a a little tent and tucked inside out of the wind to drink hot chocolate and have snacks, and then loaded ourselves onto a couple of sleds for the downhill ride of our lives back to the car.

Camp Coffee.  On ice.  

One summer, a friend told us about this awesome fishing spot with a barely noticeable trail...that if we could find, we would follow to the top where we'd discover a lake with the most beautiful of views and some awesome spots to explore.  We only had two boys at the time of this adventure, so I backpacked a two year old Jesse; and Kev loaded his back with fishing poles, food, water, bug spray, and whatever else we thought we'd need....and we adventured and explored...with the thrill (and bit of fear) that we had zero clue as to where we were going, and the possibility that we might just not make it home.

Jig fishing.  

Every year for the big boys' birthdays, we go camping with the grandparents - no matter the weather...and we've started branching out from the more "gourmet" forms of camping that have actual bathrooms and showers....to the wilderness-y campgrounds deep in the wild with rushing rivers for our showers, and miles of forest as our playgrounds...

This is my children's childhood.
This was MY childhood.

I grew up flying down rivers in homemade canoes with trashbags for raincoats, and five gallon pickle buckets as my chair.  We tented in gravel pits, and overnighted in camps built by my Grampy with holes in the floor where one night a skunk roamed around while we laid in our beds in silence hoping it wouldn't spray.  In the wintertime, my dad and his brothers went on snowmobile adventures for miles while the cousins hung on for dear lives to handmade dogsleds that were pulled behind.  We explored for days the wilds of the Allagash and were caught in a thunder and lightning storm while in the middle of a lake.  We paddled hard to shore, broke into a camp(!), and stayed inside til it passed.  Then we left a note with our address, apologizing for the break-in, (We actually found the key while squashed together in the outhouse, which was the first place we ran).  Weeks after we got home, we received a letter back telling us how happy they were that their placed saved us, and if ever we were back in the area to stop by for a visit!

Notice London's very own pink ice fishing trap.  Thank you, Heritage Tackle.

My childhood memories.
My heritage.
Crazy, blissy memories stored forever in my heart.

And I am CERTAIN,  my own sweet Mama would maybe have preferred a beach house vacation, or a hotel once in awhile where she didn't have to freezer pack meals for days on end in the Wild.  But she did it. She happily went along for the ride...packing extra clothes for cold nights, and fun food for the tales around the fire.  Our Family Vacation Adventures always came with the best snacks. She told the best campfire stories, and she joined in with the crazy.  Dad and his brothers - with mom joining in - would take us on "spook walks" through the woods at night. They would build bonfires higher than the camp itself.  They'd take us for swims in the river, and warm up the truck for us in the middle of the night when we woke up floating in our tents during rainstorms.

"I want to hold it.  I want to touch it."
(Then I want to stick my fish hands deep into the communal chip bag.....)

And so that's what I'm trying to re-create.
And Kev has that same built in DNA of adventure.
He is the planner of the Crazy...and whenever I'm tempted to simply stay home, because it honestly would be so much easier...especially with babies and toddlers....I remember my Mama.

And so I pack the fun snacks.
I hold on for the ride.
And if my kids can say they had half the childhood that I experienced...then we will have succeeded.

Joy Journey.

My Pastor's Wife threw out a question on Facebook the other day.
She asked:  "What's your word for this new year?"

What word do I want to "claim" - for lack of a better word - that I want be a reflection of me for these next 365 days?
Kind of a heavy question...But a good one to ponder.

Indeed we do....

I do know this:
I want to be a more intentional Mama.
I want to be a more deeply invested wife.
I want to be healthy - spiritually, physically, emotionally.
I want to be more of a prayer warrior, and I want to go deeper in my walk with the Lord.
I want to take seriously - and enjoy this journey of Homeschooling my four kids
I want to be wholly here - so that I can be witness to the Holy Here that is always all around me.
I want to be the best version of me wherever I am - at work, at home, at church - wherever.
I want to live the best life that God has written for me.

Three Hoolie Loves.

Mostly, - through it all - wherever I am, I want to "be all there." ~ Elisabeth Elliott
And I want to do it all with JOY.

Thomas Acquinas once said:  "No man can live without Joy," and this is one of my most favorite quotes in the world.  It's a good one to remember in the throes of Motherhood.  It's good to remember when the future looks a little scary....or when the "right now" feels unsure.

So, that's my main word for this year, I think...
I'm claiming Joy.

Her stash.

And I think, too,...... it's good to have goals; and it's fun to have bucket lists.
Even if this is a season of very little "me" time - which just so happens to be the one I'm livin' in.

Right now, my "me time" consists of any time before 7:00 in the morning, and that's pretty much it.
My evenings are full, so my very early mornings are my own.
Time in the Word.  Time to pray.  Time to write.  Time to read.  Time to exercise.  Time to be still.
These are the things that fill me.
These are the things I do during solitude.
These are the simple Joys that bring me life.

Preach.

And the rest of the day - for this short little season - is filled with being a Mama and a wife in these four walls and a waitress and Director of Hospitality outside of them.  And I want Joy in all of this, as well. Maybe someday I'll go back to school to be a midwife.  Maybe someday I'll have my own little creative business or outlet of my own where I can be my own boss and make my own hours.  But, this is not that season.  This is the season where most of my hours are not my own - they are full and they are rich - but they are not the life of the footloose and fancy free.  Four sweet babies, homeschooling, housekeeping, laundry, meals, church, life, being a wife - wash, rinse, and repeat....daily bringing order out of chaos, breaking up sibling tiffs, wiping bums, stepping on legos, potty training, learning letters, grocery shopping, training up little souls, teaching boys to be men and little girls to be ladies, making space in this tiny house....and making space to connect with my man who lives this crazy life right along beside me.

The life of the not so glamorous.

Repeating....LOUDLY...every word he says.  "Reading" for herself.

But the life of the Holy ordinary.
A good season where the days are long, but the years are fleeting.
And I don't want to miss out because I'm too busy focusing on something else.

And so we dance that delicate spin of balance.
Filling up so that I can pour myself out day after day after day.
Throwing myself into the Life that is mine in the here and the now...and yet not losing the "me" that that still exists outside this world of motherhood.

My mantra.

So, I like fresh starts and new beginnings.
I like sitting down and writing out my goals...assessing how I spend my days.
I like hashing out dreams and plans with Kev and seeing what needs to come off of our plates and what can also be added.

I like being focused.
I like asking the questions.
And I like making the lists.

Wherever "her boys" are...there is this girl...with her bedhead.

I've got some goals.
And my ever present bucket list.

Included on this year's:  Run another half marathon.  Or maybe a full.  Save enough money to rip up our carpets.  Pay off our debt.  Potty train London without destroying said carpets.  Teach the boys to do their own laundry.  Focus on their character over curriculum.  Get up before the sun each morning. Give the Lord the firstfruits of my day.  Eat a little more clean.  Get back into the rhythm of consistent exercise and soul care...

Legos.  My life is Legos.  Everywhere.

Judge less.
Love deep.
Quit comparing.
Stoop lower.
Listen more.
Truly see.
Swallow pride.
Savor the Simple....

I want to read more.  I want to write more.  And I want to shoot a deer.
Simple joys.

But I want to do it all being fully present.  And aware.
Counting the joys.  Naming the gifts.  Recording the answered prayers.

School this year.  Countries and cultures.  And Geography.  I'm horrid with Geography.

And so we begin again on this silly, simple little joy journey that we started years ago...
...just picking up right where we left off...

Because, "counting the ways that He loves - this is what multiplies the Joy." ~ Ann Voskamp
And "the life that counts blessings discovers it's yielding more than it seems." ~ Ann Voskamp

Maybe it helps us to see a little better this Holy Ordinary...
New Year.  New Days.  Because His mercies are new every morning.
Oh - how He loves us!

#5836 ~ Waking early - up before the sun...and my Loves.
5837 ~ Wishing I'd gotten up earlier - soul care, soul food, Jesus and coffee.
5838 ~ Thirsting for More...Claiming the Joy.
5839 ~  Perspective that shifts after time in the Word.
5840 ~ Freedom to read, to pray, to openly confess my love for You.
5841 ~ Kevin Scott...and growing deeper.
5842 ~ Four sweet souls - breathing deep in sleep.
5843 ~ This home.  This life.  These days.
5844 ~ A Monday to be nowhere...but Here.
5845 ~ Reminders to be fully present - to be wholly Here.
5846 ~ Nights before the diet...

New Beginnings.

Sweet Loves ~

Well, another year is down with a new one upon us.  The older I get, the more I feel like the weeks and the months just blur together faster and faster...with barely room to breathe...or to see the days for what they really are.

Sacred.  Holy.  Filled with so much Life and love.  (And chaos).
Three Hoolie boys and one Wild Child of a toddler girl.  A husband who loves me through it all.
It's a rich life.

This Christmas.  Three gifts each.  But such fun, unexpected gifts...

And it's been a good year.
A year filled with so much change....and so much Goodness.

Days written with God's grace splashed all over them.

That's the whole point of writing this blog, in the first place.  To capture in time what we will all so quickly forget otherwise.  To record our memories and our moments for all of us to remember when we look back over these silly books years down the road from now.  When you boys are men and when London is maybe a Mama with her own sweet passel of babies.  I want you to see how we lived our days - our simple ordinary.  I want you to see how your Daddy and I loved each other...and how we were far from perfect, but how we did our best to walk things out in front of you.

I want you to see how we journeyed with Jesus...

The oldest and the youngest on Daddy's side.

These are the records of our life in pixels.
Our days with a Mama's stream of consciousness scrawled out on paper.
Simple things that I want you kids to remember.
Little memories that I want revived from the back recesses of your minds when you read these words again.

Putting makeup on Aunty Julie.

I get frustrated with myself when I let days and weeks go by without recording the story of our little lives here.  I'm sad when weeks go by without me capturing the little things, the simple days, the everyday ordinary.  The sacred holy of the beauty that's in the mundane of just living life day in and day out together. Nothing special, really....but ...seeing as "how we spend our days is, in fact, how we spend our lives"...well, then maybe everything really is a little bit more rich, if this is truly the case.

New beginnings.  Fresh starts.  God's grace.  Deep love.

It's good to remember.
It's good to look back.

Because when the blur of each day's wildness so quickly meshes into a week....which crashes into a month...and ultimately turns into an entire year...well, sometimes it's barely possible to hold on - let alone look back and fully grasp all that's happened during these past many days.  I think looking back helps us not to live in the past...but to remember how far we have come.  To see where God has brought us.  And to fully grasp the truth of how much He's carried us.

This was a year of change.  Good changes.
This was a year of refining and of letting go.  Always letting go.
And a year of letting God write our Story the way that He sees fit.

These kids. 

This was the year of moving into our very own Home again - tiny though it may be - and of calling it our own.  It was the year of babies becoming toddlers and of little boys inching ever closer to their teenage years.  It was a year of stepping back deep into the life of church ministry and of trusting Jesus to carry us -- all the while remembering how we said we'd never do this ever again, but trusting in His guidance...of walking in obedience...and of finding Joy again in the Journey.  It's been a year of seeing God's sense of humor afresh and anew...and of trying to once again, remember to never say never...

My sisters.  My friends.  My co-horts in crime.

It's kind of a good place to be.

And who knows, really, what this year holds for us.
But, we will continue walking faithful...

Trusting maybe when we can't see the future for what it holds...
Walking in obedience when we might some days feel like running the other way.
Always learning and stumbling and getting back up again in this journey of Parenthood.
Assessing and reassessing when changes need to be made and when Life needs to slow down.
Making mistakes and apologizing again.
Dating your Daddy and growing ever closer...
Learning you kids...and doing our best to show you our love....and our undying acceptance of who God has made you to be.

Hilarious.  And SO super gross....

Always in awe of the fact that He is writing our Story...and of the fact that He is letting us play a part in His-story... Of leaning in, and of being willing participants in trusting the Author of it all.

And so....
With another year behind us, and with a brand new one upon us...
I will kiss that man - your Daddy - into a new year of this crazy ride together.  We'll hold each other tight, and I'll whisper to him soft:  "It's been crazy.  But the story is good.  And I'll still follow you to the Ends of the Earth.  And back again."

This Man.

In the midst of the messy and the madness
I am safe, I am loved, and I am free.
With my Jesus and my loved ones all around me
Step by step, day by day, it's all I need....

My heart.

And to the Author of it all ~
I thank you for this life.
It is deep, it is rich, and it is full....