Time Moves On.

This time of year always makes me just a wee bit melancholy.
The lazy days of summer are drawing to a close.
Fall is creeping into our evenings and mornings.
And a new chapter of life is upon us.
Mama guilt is a constant companion for many of us, I suppose. 

But, for some reason, this time of year she always seems to stay a little closer to my side.  I see my boys' crazy growth spurts that have taken place over the summer, we have just had two of the three birthdays with another rolling right around the corner - and I can't help but just stop and shake my head at the new ages they proudly wear when asked how old they are. 

And I wonder afresh...
Have I savored them enough? 
Have I treasured these days as I should have? 
And when the time comes for them to really fly, will I have lived these fleeting years well so that I'll have no regrets?
The answer that I am coming to is..... No.

I'm pretty sure I'll always have regrets.  I'll always wish I had done something better...savored longer...spent more time at play than at work.

But, I am also learning afresh and anew this whole concept of grace. 
And the fact that His mercies are new every morning.

We do the absolute best that we possibly can, we love the absolute hardest that we know how to love, we make the best decisions that we know how to make and that seem the best for our little family...

And Jesus covers it, and redeems it all. 

He brings beauty out of the messes that we make, and He restores and revives and fills in the gaps of all of our failings.  Our babies and our homes and our lives and our days are all His in the first place anyway, right?  All that we have is His - and He is far more invested in these little lives than we could ever think of being.

Because the truth of the matter is that at the beginning of every school year, I will always second guess whatever schooling decision I have made for that year.  And as my boys grow older and continue to gradually pull farther away from their Mama and ever closer to their Daddy - which is right and good and just the way things should be - and when next year rolls around - making Kaden nine years old - and marking the exact halfway point of when he will (most likely) move out of our little home and into the world and out on his own...

I will forever be slayed by these growing up milestones of life.

My babies are babies no more.
They are little boys growing up and moving right along with time.
They are mine for only a little bit longer.

And then I am reminded....that they are all His in the first place.
And the world rights itself just a little bit again....


Sarah said...

<3 thank you Jesus for Amy's life <3

Anonymous said...

I'm learning right along with you. Always love your perspective. It always helps!
Sarah Y

The Agnews said...

Hi Amy! I came across your blog recently via a mutual friend on Facebook. We were at Bible school together many year ago, not sure if you remember. :) I also have three boys and I was blessed by this post. So thankful that the grace of Jesus redeems and covers all of our parenting successes and failures. Even when we are weak, He is ALWAYS enough. Thank you for that reminder and for sharing your heart. Blessings, Jenn Agnew (MacRaild) :0)