On Parenting - "The Ultimate Adventure".....

Leslie Fields, mother of six and author of Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt (WaterBrook, 2008) has written a deeply thoughtful, provocative theology of parenting....

See what ya'll think of this. The quotes I posted yesterday are from this same book.


“Even in my weakness, I am living out before my children the most essential truth of our lives: all of us are in severe need of this glorious and merciful Savior.”

How does a weary parent, trying hard and failing often, clearly and practically manifest that truth – that we all desperately need a Savior -- to her children?

I think we can stop pretending that we’re perfect, or even that we’re trying to be perfect in front of our children. That leaves so little room for God.

What I want most for my children is that they would be dependent upon God. I can’t make them God-dependent, but I can live out my own dependence on God. I can do this by letting my kids see my fatigue at times, my mistakes, my limitations, even my tears---and my fears! Let them see some of that, as is age appropriate.

I remember one time when my husband had been gone for 2 weeks. I was exhausted. My five sons were fighting and tearing the house apart. They wouldn’t listen to me, and I just lost it. I just broke down and cried in front of them. They stopped, stunned. Suddenly they had a very visual display of the impact of their behavior! They quit. They apologized and things settled down.

Now, I didn’t plan that. In fact, I plan for the opposite—that I’ll always be in control, I’ll always have the right answer and response . . . but if you’re superwoman all the time, they’ll not see your need of God. Don’t be afraid to just be human! Let them see you pray when you’re afraid, when you fail. Let them see your sadness at your own sin. Let them hear of your own struggles to live righteously.

We can’t bring our children to faith ourselves---this is God’s work. But we can show them what it looks like to live as a servant of God.

The truths of God’s word have brought so much freedom to my parenting life! I’m freed from the tyranny of unrealistic expectations of parenting----that we’re going to have happy happy homes, happy happy children, we’re going to be happy and fulfilled all the time! God never promised any of that.

Now, I know that our children come to us not to make us happy, but for the much greater purpose of serving God. No matter who they end up being, no matter their choices, they are here for God’s great purposes. I’m freed as well from thinking that my children will become who I make them. That’s not only an impossible burden to carry, but it’s simply unbiblical.

My whole view of parenting has shifted, from how I feel about parenting, to what is real and true about parenting. Knowing these fuller truths doesn’t magically erase all the guilt and worry, but much of it has faded. I’ve learned to lean far more on God than myself.

It’s time to get honest about parenting. Its amazing work, and it’s very hard. But I think we’re making harder than it needs to be. We’re carrying around a lot of myths that are making this role nearly impossible. You CAN be the parent you want to be. Not by DOING more---our parenting to-do lists are long enough. Not even by BEING more---but by believing more!!

Believing that your children are gifts and blessings. That they were given to you to teach you how to love, to enlarge your heart. They’re NOT given to make us happy and fulfilled all the time. And they were NOT given to make you always feel guilty.

Ultimately, our children are for much more than us. They’re here for greater purposes than fulfilling our dreams and our needs. They’re here for God’s purposes. Every one of our children is on her own spiritual journey with God. And, amazingly, we get to be a part of it! The weight of guilt and failure is gone-----the adventure returns!


IT's good. Goooooood.