Who Cares? Honestly.

Well, we are officially about halfway through our school year, and I still stand shocked and amazed that I enjoy it as much as I do. Although, in the spirit of keeping it real, I almost went postal on Jesse the other day. He's only four, so we're just going loosey goosey with school this year - mostly just doing it because he wants to do whatever Kaden does. My only goal for him this year is for him to know his ABC's by summer. Kaden knew all of his letters before he turned three, but "comparison destroys contentment," right? And so we plod along.

However.

By the 8 Kajillionth time we reviewed the letter "A" and he could not tell me what that blasted thing was, I just about lost my marbles. His answers ranged anywhere from: "AB?" "No wait. CD?" "Uh. 5?" to - and here's my favorite-: "Are girls more than blue?"

WHAAAAA??!! I admit it. I went postal, and then I had to go to my happy place for a few minutes while Kevin intervened. Once my eyes turned from green back to blue, we resumed our regularly scheduled programming and proceeded on with our day. But, Holy Hannah. Wow. Okay. Different kids. Different teaching methods needed. Got it. Working on it. Shoot me now.

Allll righty, then...
Now, where in the world was I going with this whole post? OH, right. It was about me being shocked at how much I really do enjoy it. Right. Forgive that bunny trail we all just went down.

Anyway. Granted, I'm only two years into this whole schooling stage of life, but I am increasingly convinced that "schooling" just like "parenting" is a deeply personal decision that families have to make between themselves and the Lord alone - and it's really nobody else's business....although we all like to make everybody else's business our own...

I have been thinking about this topic for awhile because so many of my friends are now entering this stage of life - or have been in it for awhile, for that matter. But, the options that we are all choosing - right along with our reasons for our options - are so vastly different! And I kind of love that. It keeps perspectives fresh, and I think it also protects us from being deluded into thinking that our way is the ONLY way that works. I have friends whose options range from public school, to Christian school, to homeschool, to "unschooling," to mixing it up within their families, and to mixing it up halfway through their kids' schooling careers. I have friends putting their kids in preschool at age three, and I have friends waiting to do anything at all until their kids are seven.

And do you know what? It's ALL good. Because no matter what we choose to do - there will always be naysayers. People will always and forever - until the day we die - critique our convictions, have opinions on our choices, and be pretty sure that they could do a better job at parenting our children than we can do.

So, when you get right down to it, it doesn't matter what decision you choose for your babies. You are always going to have critics. So....who cares? Honestly.

Whatever decicion we make will come with its already pre-packaged and pre-conceived notions of what "that" child will turn out to be in "that" kind of schooling system that you have chosen. There is no fail safe choice to make when it comes to the eyes of the rest of the world.

If my friend's little girl comes home from school and drops the f-bomb in the kitchen - it will automatically be assumed that "that's what she gets for sending her child to Satan's playground and now just look at how polluted her young mind is." Never mind the fact that she originally learned the word during Sunday School from a girl whose father is (gasp) a deacon in the church. No-one will ever be convinced of this. And it won't ever even cross anyone's mind that these parents are trying to be intentional at being "salt and light" in their community and if everyone were to take every last bit of salt and light from our school systems, that would leave our world in a pretty dark place, now wouldn't it? And nevermind the fact that maybe, just maybe, this is how the Lord has asked this family to live out this chapter of their lives.

No-one's going to ever see these things.
They're just going to focus on the f-bomb.
So, who cares? Honestly.

And when the homeschooling Mama takes her little boy to the grocery store, and he doesn't make eye contact with the cashier and just mumbles an answer back while looking at his feet - it will automatically be assumed that "that's what she gets for not properly socializing her child, and it is so obvious that he is completely socially awkward, and it's all her fault." Never mind the fact this kid is just naturally, painfully shy, anyway; and he would be that kid sitting in the back of the class who perpetually looks at his feet all day, regardless. And nevermind the fact that this little boys' Daddy travels a lot, so when he gets home from his business trips, his little boy is actually home and can see him during the day. And nevermind the fact that this family just wanted to try this whole thing anyway - just to see if it would be a good fit for them, and maybe just maybe it's something that the Lord has asked them to do.

No-one is ever going to see these things.
They're just going to focus on the social awkwardness.
So, who cares? Honestly.

And when the Christian school girl gets voted "Most Likely to Succeed" and has every chapter of the book of James memorized for her Senior class project, and takes missions trips every summer to far away lands - it will automatically be assumed that this girl has it all together, and she will be put on such a high pedestal that it will be virtually impossible for her to ever fall or fail, because that could never once be admitted in Christian social circles, now could it? Nevermind the fact that this was her parents' decision in the first place, and she's not even sure where she stands with God, and the reason that she even goes on these missions trips every summer is to assuage some of the guilt that she feels for sleeping with her boyfriend behind her parent's back. Whew. Now that's a heavy one to wade through, isn't it?

But, no-one will rarely see these things, either.
They'll probably only see the upstanding Christian citizen that her whole family models to the outside world. Nevermind the fact that every kid has to make their faith their own - no matter what type of education they take part in.

So, my conclusion?
Who cares? Honestly.

Do what you and your man think is best for your family. Do what you feel is the best fit for your kids. Listen to what the Lord might be asking you to do. And if you try it, and it doesn't work out...go back to the drawing board. You're not a failure. No one ever said and nowhere has it ever been written that whatever decision you make for this year must be your decision for the remaining twelve of your child's life.

And no matter how great of a job we'll do at parenting - our kids will probably fail somewhere, somehow. And no matter how awesome our children are - we will probably fail them somewhere, somehow.

Our kids are probably going to learn naughty words, regardless. They'll probably have moments of social awkwardness, regardless. And they might even get themselves into some pretty deep stuff someday, regardless.

And....people will talk about us, regardless.

No decision is better than another. No decision makes us a better parent according to society's standards. No decision makes me better than you or you better than me. So, let's stop with the judging and the comparing. We beat our own selves up enough as it is. Let's not beat others up, as well.

It's all about the grace. With ourselves and with each other.
And the growing. And the listening. And the learning.

We are to be forever students. With Christ our Master Teacher.
And everything else?
Who cares. Honestly!