The Joy of the Small.

A couple of days ago, I wrote a guest post on simplicity and decluttering for my friend Esther over at her WellnessMom blog. If getting rid of crapolla makes your heart sing as it does mine, you can head over there and give it a read.

Beware. The gift of brevity, I do not possess. But, I did post lots of pics....
Sorry for the book, Esther. You know me. I'm sure it was no shocker...

So, while we were visiting with a group of friends last night, the question was posed: "What dreams do you still have that you haven't yet accomplished?"

And that got me to thinking. I do have a half-serious, half-not "bucket list" of sorts, where I keep a running list of things that I would like to (maybe) accomplish someday.

A dream list of sorts.

It's more of a running list of "Oh, that would be cool to accomplish" sort of thing, but fun, nonetheless.

So, let's all play, shall we?
What are some items that you have on your bucket list?
I'll go first....

Okay. In no particular order ~

:: Run a marathon....or a half....or at the very least a 10K.
:: See a baby - other than my own - be born.
:: Get a tattoo....or three.
:: Live and work in an orphanage with my family for an entire year.
:: Sky dive.
:: Bungee jump.
:: Shoot a deer - (although, admittedly this is very low on my priority list, as I hate being cold. Kevy is less than impressed).
:: Have a small hobby farm where we are completely self-sufficient.
:: Weigh 130 pounds. Or less. Large joke.
:: Have a home birth. (That would take large amounts of convincing on Kevy's part for a number of reasons. One being the fact that I would have to be with child, first).
:: Go back to school to become a crunchy midwife.

Kind of fun, eh?

But, then I got to thinking some more....

While it would be really great to do some of those things, and while I think that it's important to have goals to shoot for - serious or simple - the fact is, I don't really need to do (or have) any of those things. (Although, I honestly think living and working in an orphanage for year would completely rock our world and change our lives forever. I'm still pushing for that one....)

Really, though, I don't really have any huge, lofty dreams.

I've got all that I could ever want or need right here, and I'm not just saying that.
I have a best friend for a husband who is the most stellar father I have ever seen in my life, I have three sweet little boys, we have our health, a home, an abundance of food, toys, clothing, friends, ministry, my 2,000+ daily gifts that I continue to list --- you name it.

We lack for nothing.
We do not know need.

And while I am not so naive as to think that this life will always be sunshine and roses, and that we might have to "do hard" someday....like really hard....and while I am not turning a blind eye to all of the horrible, terrible atrocities that take place every day in every part of our world, or a deaf ear to so many of my loved ones - right here - who are suffering deep pain on so many levels....

I guess, knowing these things, and seeing all the pain that surrounds us - everywhere - .....that just makes me all the more thankful for the little things.

All the more aware.
I see my life so clearly for what it is.
It's a gift. Every bit of it.

And while I do not have any safe, pat answers for all the suffering and devastation, for the cancers, the deaths, the miscarriages, the rapes, the divorces, the carnage, and the agony...

I do know that God is good.

And just as there are no safe, pat answers for so much of life; I don't think that He is a safe, pat God either. But He is good. Always good.

I know that I have written this quote so many times over here, but I love it so much, and with everything that is within me, I believe it.

"It's the joy of the small that makes life large." ~ Ann Voskamp.
And Thomas Quinas wrote: "No man can live without joy."
I believe that, too.

And in the midst of all of the crap that life tends to love to throw at us, there are some days when we have to look really, really hard for the joy and the good and whatever tiny scrap of redemption that can be scraped off the floor from the day.

And God holds us in those moments, too.

"God fills the common moments...Theories [of joy] stillbirth unless they can take on some skin, breathe in the polluted air of this world, and make it happen. God holds us in the untamed moments, too. Lament is a cry of belief in a good God, a God who has His ear to our hearts, a God who transfigures the ugly into beauty. Complaint is the bitter howl of unbelief in any benevolent God in this moment, a distrust in the love-beat of the Father's heart. True lament is the bold faith that trusts Perfect Love enough to feel and cry authentic. While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving." ~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

This is why the fight for joy...and peace...is so hard.
But, we can "take joy." ~ Habakkuk 3:18

I know this because I see friends and loved ones who are doing it right now in the midst of shattered dreams and unanswered prayers of their own. They lament with that bold faith that is trusting in the Perfect Love.

And those of us looking on...we see the beauty rising from the ashes.
God calls us to do thanks. To wash the feet of the world with His grace.

So, while I think bucket lists are fun, and even important to have...
And while I think goals are good, and dreams are necessary...
For me, anyway, my "list of gifts" is so much more important.

We have the gift of today. The gift of now. These good gifts.
There are no guarantees for tomorrow.

* * * * *
2420. Dinner and cribbage with Lew.
2421. Nights of crazy tips.
2422. Pets to love and cherish.
2423. Daddies who dig graves in frozen ground.
2424. Sharing bunks.
2425. Hot chocolate after playing outside.
2426. Playing playdoh with Jesse.
2427. Sweet Rivers, a little bit of pink in our home.
2428. Pet funerals, tender words.
2429. Sweet little hearts, brother love.
2430. Farm fresh eggs.
2431. Grammy's who send pet sympathy cards.
2432. Cheerioes, legos, and laundry.
2433. Cousins who give me new blog headers.
2434. Playing barn with Ransom.
2435. Cribbage and Racko with Kaden.
2436. A night to be home. Just us.
2437. Kaden earning money. Learning responsibility.
2438. Smudge's soothing presence for sad little boys.
2439. Loud and rowdy days.
2440. Naptimes of silence....

4 comments:

Rachel K. said...

I enjoyed both the simplicity blog and this one about the bucket list. A few items on mine:

work in a bakery and make extraordinary cakes
fix up an old farm house
be self sufficient as much as we can
stay fit well into my aging years

Anonymous said...

As I read this two things came to mind. First we have very similiar lists which I thought was funny and two, on a day that has been totally crazy with dreams lost, tears shed, I have found comfort in your words:) Thank you my dear friend.

Angelica said...

oh sweet Ames....
your words always, always touch the heart and stir this old soul....

thank you for your transparency, honesty, vision, heart...

If i were to have a fourth bambino, a home water birth would be my vote...

Funny that you mentioned midwifery....its been a dream of mine since the birth of my last puppy..( umm..daughter)
I so strongly believe in empowering women to birth without fear...
Last year I looked into our local University's Midwifery program and was discourage to see how many years of study it would require..
And so, for now, on the bucket list it goes..maybe one day it will get scratched off..in the meantime, i'll just keep dreaming..
As for the rest of my dreams,, there are more about being than doing...im too much of a chicken to jump , dive, fly or hunt....but i do dream about being the kind of wife and momma that leaves a legacy worth emulating...(don't we all)

love you girl~

...oh...and..
I'd be super psyched if i could pull off a 5k..~but first i need to peel myself off this couch~

Kate said...

Oooh. I'll go get a tat with you. When you're ready. And I've saved some money for that. ;)

Lovely writing. Thanks so much for sharing with all of us.

xoxoxoxoxox