Today.

It's still pitch dark outside, and my entire household sleeps.
This is exactly the way I like to start my days.

I am finding that as my children grow and as our days become busier (and louder), I am a much nicer and more patient Mommy if I can start the day at least an hour before the rest of them.

These few moments of silence center me and help me start the day out right.
The best days are when exercise, shower, and time with the Lord are all under my belt before the first hoolie lifts his head from the pillow.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is very weak, and many days this doesn't happen. But that's my goal anyway. It's always good to have goals, right?

Happy Monday.
It's a good day to slow and see the sacred.
Today is fresh, and the week is brand new.
And today is a good day for a post of simple randoms while I wait for my coffee to brew.

This here blog of mine is rather random in and of itself, now that I think about it. I don't really have a platform for anything, awareness I'm trying to create, or any audience in particular that I'm writing to...other than my three little boys, really. I know of maybe twelve people who may pop in and out of these posts here and there, but other than that, it's a pretty nebulous little spot over here where I'm writing down random tidbits to print off for my boys to have some day.

This is for them, really.

Their Mama's journey of life, love, and her pursuit of family, Jesus, and joy.
I want them to see that the random bit of nothings that I so often write about - are really what makes up all of our lives. It's all of the little things - the seemingly mundane and the ordinary - that makes up our own unique definition of family and how we lived out life over here in our little corner of the world.

I want them to see my heart, my struggles, and my love for them and for our story.
These pages are just a tiny, abbreviated nutshell of me, - they live with me, they know the whole - but they are still me nonetheless.

So, with that on my mind - these are the little things that I'm thinking about and loving on this day:

:: This cat. Oh my word. We are in love with him. He is curled up on my lap while I'm typing, and his little purr is one of my most favorite sounds in the entire world. Had he been a shelter kitten, I would have never even given him a second glance. He's long and scrawny and really not much to look at. But he is so perfect for our family. He's like a ragdoll little puppy. He lets all three of the boys lug him all over - even Ransom carries him under his arm like a football - and he's just happy to tag along and be a part of the family.

He also has this spaztic quality about him where out of the blue, he'll attack - but I find that kind of hilarious. He either spazzes or he sprawls. He's not normal, but neither are we. And thus, a perfect fit for our family.

:: Kev turned thirty-five last week, and to celebrate I surprised all of the boys with an overnight in the big city two hours away. It was SO much fun. We swam in the pool, the boys jumped on the beds, we watched tons of fun shows, and we just vegged as a family. The boys both made birthday banners for their daddy - each expressing their individual little personalities. One footloose and fancy free, and the other systematic and structured. Both were quite proud of their creations.

:: These boys. As of late I am finding them to be bottomless pits. I cannot keep them fed and full, and I'm finding this slightly overwhelming. I am also finding them to be exceptionally loud. And filthy. Sometimes, after they're in bed for the night, I find myself staring into space and wondering what that crazy noise is in my ears. And then I realize --- it's the silence. It's deafening!

They're messy, they're dirty, they're loud, and some days they make me crazy and I wonder if I'm going to lose my mind. But sometimes, I'm bossy, and I'm not patient, and I make them eat their squash, so I'm sure that I make them equally crazy, as well. We're stuck with each other - for better or for worse. And they know I love them with everything in me, and I know the same goes for them, as well. They are my life, and I embrace them - apple cores, filth, bedlam, over the top loudness, and all.

:: This man. We have a depth of friendship and love that I can't describe. He was scheduled for surgery this week, and at the very last minute, we bowed out and have decided to go an alternative route for healing with specific food and diet. We're not sure if this will even work, but we've decided to try all of our options before going under the knife. We're rebels like that. So, this will mean a pretty drastic life change for us. We would appreciate your prayers as we navigate this next chapter.

The night before he was scheduled to go into the hospital, we went on a hot date. Grampy and Grammy had the boys, so we decided to milk it for all that it was worth and have ourselves a night on the town since we were kidless. Being the rockin' date that I am, I decided to talk about what I would do should he not make it through the procedure. Have you ever had those conversations with your spouse? This was a basic surgery, but I wanted to know a few things, just in case...you know. I'm a good time like that. It was kind of a sobering conversation, which was interspersed with silliness and immaturity, but one that I won't forget, either.

If I ever did remarry, I pity the poor man already. Kev and I had a h-e-double-hockey-stick of a time during our dating years. They were rough, to put things delicately. We worked through some massive baggage from both of our pasts -- but we got through it. And by God's grace, I'm on this journey with my very best friend. I couldn't imagine walking it with anyone else, and the Lord knows I'd ruin the boys if they didn't have their father's presence in their lives. We have these conversations often - God and I.

Well, I guess on that happy note, I'm off to conquer the world. My middlest hoolie is awake and asking for a snack, and I hear my baby playing trucks in his crib. Time to crank out a new day.

"The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action." ~ Mother Teresa
May whatever we do today - be for Jesus. Wild and free.
******************
2021. Four boys sleeping - house quiet and still
2022. Smudge purring on my lap - keeping me company and making me warm.
2023. A new week - fresh start.
2024. coffee brewing.
2025. Blessed to be a blessing today.