"Unforgiveness is like drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die." - Dr. MacDonald.
Its literal term is "to cut."
And that's exactly what it does. It cuts our insides to shreds. It is its own whip.
It's like acid on our hearts.
Bitterness destroys everyone in its path, and it forever shatters relationships.
It is the decision to perpetually review the offense - over and over again.
Heavy, heavy stuff.
We are messy. We do stupid things. We hurt others, and we are deeply hurt.
But time heals nothing. The cancer remains, and the tumor grows if we do nothing.
If we wait for the offender to make the wrong right - we could be waiting forever.
And we never move on, until we choose to forgive.
Forgiveness is the process of releasing and beginning the healing.
It is NOT enabling - we don't have to help the offender do it again.
It does not require rescuing them from the consequences of their sin.
And it does not require risk or even trust again. We do not have to visit or hang out with the offender.
It is just this: they don't owe us, we don't try to get even, we're not focused on their failure. We're just trying to move past.
The crisis: Name the person. Name the pain.
I choose to forgive so and so for such and such.
And then the process:
Don't bring it up again. To the person. To your friends. Or to yourself.
This is the hard part - the taking into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ - and the retraining and renewal of the mind.
And when we mess up - which we will...we go back to the crisis.
"I choose to forgive so and so for such and such."
This is the Heavenly way.
The Biblical way.
The Kingdom way which makes no earthly sense.
But this is what sets us free.
Have the funeral.
Ephesians 4:31,32 - "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
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