Zucchini Relish

There are two reasons why I grow mass quantities of zucchini. The first is for my Mama's chocolate chip zucchini cake - my all time fave cake in the whole entire world. And the second is for my Mama's zucchini relish.

This is another "side of your plate" kind of a relish. It's more of a garnish, really - a little goes a long way. And it's kind of a treat, in a way; there is an insane amount of sugar in this recipe. If I were to make it again, I would do a little research on some sort of substitution. But, we do so love it just the way it is. And just a spoonful on the side of your plate isn't too much of a horror show.

So, here's how it's done:
You will need about 10-12 ginormous zucchini's. I let these babies grow just as big as they can. Cut them in half, scoop out the seeds, and grate them with a hand grater - or if you're a professional, you could use a grinder.

You need to end up with 24 heaping cups of grated zucchini.
This is an amazing arm workout, so really you'll burn all of the calories ahead of time. It's all good.

Add to this:
2 red sweet peppers, chopped fine.
8 cups green pepper, chopped fine.
8 cups coarsely ground onions.

Might I insert here...
this recipe is just as easy as any other, but it IS a labor of love. This is a bit time consuming, and I would certainly invest in a little $10.00 chopper from Wal-Mart. This is also a two step process, which I always find handy.

Once you get all of your veggies grated and chopped, mix them all together, put 10 Tablespoons of pickling salt over them, and put cold water over everything. They don't need to be totally covered - there's no need to drown them. Then, let them sit overnight.

I usually put that whole mix of stuff in a cooler.

If you're anything like me, you'll be thankful for the two step process, because your kitchen will look like this, and the snot and tears will be flowing so bad from all of the onions you just chopped, that you won't be able to see straight.

It's a beautiful sight.

In the morning, drain off the water.
Rinse under cold water, and drain again.

In a large kettle - before the hoolies awaken and all you-know-what breaks loose, and after brewing a nice pot of coffee - add:
2 tsp. nutmeg
2 tsp. dried mustard
2 tsp. turmeric
2 TBlsp. celery seed
2 TBlsp. cornstarch
5 cups cider vinegar (or white)
10 cups (gasp. I told you it was sinful) white sugar

Bring this to a boil, stirring constantly.
Then add the veggies.
Turn down to a simmer for approximately 15 minutes, stirring all the while.

Pull out hot, sterilized jars.
Add 1/4 alum to each pint or 1/2 tsp. to each quart - (this adds to the crispness)
Put relish into jars, leaving 1/4" to 1/2" space at top.
Use spatula along the sides to get out the bubbles.
Seal with lids and covers.

Voila!

This yeilds about 16 pints. If you want less, you can half the entire recipe. But if you're going to go through all the work, go all the way, baby. Enjoy immediately or hide away for winter.