Learning to Slow Down

Again....

A lesson that I will always need to relearn I am sure. Jesse has hit another stage of life that is making me slow my days down a little bit more, and for this I am thankful. It's the simplest thing really - eating food in addition to nursing, but three times a day I now have to sit down with him and spoon feed each and every bite of food into his mouth. So, for about three twenty minute segments of each day - I sit. And it's nice. Sure, there are times when I feed him while washing dishes or while trying to accomplish something else. I'll wash a dish, insert a bite, wash another dish, insert another bite, - you get the picture. But, I'm really trying to have that be the exception rather than the norm. I can live my days at such breakneck speed, that I forget to savor, you know? And by savor, I mean to REALLY enjoy whatever I'm doing.

I am absolutely shocked that Jesse is almost one! Yes, he has another four and a half months to go, but where in the world did those last seven and a half months just go? Seriously! I need to live for the moment because time is flying at a pace well out of my control - and savoring each and every moment as much as I can is the ONLY thing that will slow the hands of the clock! I need to enjoy the here and now and not wish for that "next stage." I feel like I do a fairly good job at that, but whenever I have "one of those days" it's so easy to lose focus and wish away time by launching into countdowns. "When I get time to myself again," Or "When I get a full night's sleep again." Or how about, "When I can finally get rid of these flipping huge exersaucers, swings, and bouncy seats that come with babies and take up so much room!"

Well, you know what? I'll get these things before I know it and there will come a day when I will LONG for my boys to wake me up and crawl into bed with me in the morning or to have them interrupt my "super important" thing that I'm doing to show me their latest lego creation. I need to live for THIS moment, because when it's gone, it's gone. There's no turning back the clock.

A scattered post, I know. My whole point is this: Jesse is helping me to savor these moments. I'm glad he can't feed himself yet and that he needs me to spoon feed him! I sit and really look at him. And try to make him laugh. And I don't get crabby when he spits his carrots all over me because he's belly laughing at Kaden's antics. And I don't mind that I am continuously grinding cheerios into my kitchen floor. And I tell Kaden to go get a book that we can all read together during these twenty minutes. I'm trying not to think about how I could multi-task every moment, and instead I'm trying to live for THIS moment and to savor it deeply.