"School" Yesterday.

On this fine rainy day, at The Booker Academy of Brainy Brilliance, we focused on five major subjects.  And they were as follows:

Epic Mess of Mass Porportions 101
Epic Mess of Mass Porportions 102
Epic Mess of Mass Porportions 103
Epic Mess of..... you get the drift.

Buuut...it shall merely go down in the books as "Home Economics" for Kaden.
And....er..."Art???" for Jesse.
And..."Barely Controlled Chaos" for the Mama.

I give you our kitchen in all of its various stages of awesomeness this morning.

Epic Mess #1 involved cooking down and putting into jars my Mom's cucumber relish.  Throw in a delightful little morning visit with a Mama and her wee babe... a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee....some gleeful playing of water in the sink, 15 interrupted conversations, and there you have 101.

Notice the leaky shorts on child to the right....
Poor kid.  Where's his Mama?

Epic Mess #2 involved my sweet little artsy fartsy Jesse who just loves to "create" for lack of a better word.  Kaden was up to his elbows in cucumbers with me, and Ransom likes to be wherever Kaden is - so I gave Jesse free reign of the kitchen table, a little water, some flour, and anything he wanted in the craft closet.  And there you have EPIC mess #2 - which really rivaled all of the other messes put together for its "epic-ness."  Wowza.



Jesse in ALL of his glory.
Seriously, he is never happier than when he is "creating."

Give me grace.  Holy Hannah.

Epic Mess #3 involved all of my tomatoes that seem to have ripened overnight which are sitting here, there, and everywhere - in my kitchen, on my window sills, and ALL over my basement floor in various levels of ripeness.  Upon seeing them in all of their glory, I promptly declared that I needed to make my most favorite tomato carrot soup for supper and thus began blanching and peeling them - really with nary a thought as to all of the other happenings that were also going on all around.

And though I love my soup, in the effort of keeping it real, Jesse despises it.
Last night, he said it tasted like he was "trying locusts."  Awesome.

Epic Mess #4 started when I noticed all of my reeeally green tomatoes that were sitting there admist all of my ripe tomatoes, and I decided then and there that I also needed to make a second batch of green tomato pickles.  Right now.  Why wait?  My basement has become overridden with these little fruities and I'm starting to feel like I might go postal.  So, after having "gifted" my friend with two grocery bags of tomatoes, after making soup, and after making batch #2 of green tomato lovliness, I now only have 1/4 of my basement covered in maters.  We are getting there...  And my kitchen, I apologize, dear friend.



Seriously.  I am overrun.
Anyone want any?  Anyone?  Hello?



A most delish recipe if anyone needs a way to get rid of their green maters.

And Epic Mess #5 involved Kaden - from start to finish - making his Daddy his very own batch of cucumber relish with ingredients that will be gentle for his tummy.  Now that's a Home Ec. class if I ever did see one.  And I thought - Hey, we're already knee deep in chaos.  Why don't we just embrace it all the way?  Seriously, I can't hurt this place much more.



Our fish looks traumatized.  He should.



And whilst my kitchen is still in a bit of a state of shock from all of our cooking and cleaning and "crafting?" - it has been a productive day, to say the least.

Yes, there is a kitten on the dishwasher.
The dishes are still dirty.  Just sayin'.

Yes.  Home Economics.  Whew.  Enough said.
Goin' crazy.
Want to come?
Oh ---  And here's my living room:

Ahhh yess.

Keeping it Real.

You know that country song that goes:
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy?
Well, even though I myself do not imbibe...I kind of love those lyrics.

In the weirdest and most simplistic of ways - that song sums up life pretty good for me.

God is great.
Pick your poison.  Mine is coffee.  So....coffee is good.  OH so good.
And...yeah, I think we're all a little crazy.  Beautiful messes that God uses for His glory.
That's a good life summary.

All together now...
God is great!  Coffee's good!  And people are trainwrecks!

Somehow the previous song lyrics just ring a sweeter bell for me...
But, that's the Amy version, anyway.

*    *    *     *     *

Yesterday's blog post contained the content of this month's prayer letter that we send out to all of our supporters.  I don't often write about our "ministry" over here in this part of my world - mostly because I really believe that all of our lives are ministry, and also because this little blog book that I daily write in is more of my own personal life story and my journey of motherhood that I want to print off for my boys one day.

But, once in awhile I feel the need to write about the "vocational" part of our journey, as well.  And yesterday's blog post was something that's been on both my husband's and my hearts and minds a lot lately -- and it's an area in which the Lord's really been convicting and growing us.

To be honest, I think that over these past thirteen years, we have been on both sides of the ministry coin that I was writing about, so to speak.  There have been times where we have been pea-knuckled, down on the ground, begging for mercy, and almost taken out by ministry.

There have been times where no matter what decision we made - it would have been a wrong one in somebody's eyes - so we had to do our best on our own journeys with Jesus, to walk in love and listen to His leading...the best way that we knew how to do.

And there have been times when we have felt vulnerable, naked, and exposed - and the idea of ripping up roots, tucking tail, and running far far away felt like a perfect solution and the only lifeline available.

*     *     *     *     *

But sadly, I also know, that if I were to be equally honest, I can say that I'm sure we have been on the wounding side of this coin of ministry, as well.  I can say before the Lord that we have never set out to intentionally hurt anyone - ever.  However, we know that it has happened.

Back in the day when we were youth leaders - and just babies ourselves, really - we used to (naively) think that everyone loved us!  Now we're a little more "seasoned" and we know way better than that.  And while, on some levels this is somewhat discouraging and disheartening, and while we look on in awe - and wonder just how some pastors and missionaries have made it as long as they have in doing what they do week in and week out for so many years on end without getting completely burnt out - or checked themself in to the funny farm, for that matter....I'm encouraged by the fact that God is a whole heck of a lot bigger than any one of us and the happenings in all our lives.

And I'm also humbled and encouraged when I remember the motley crew of mismatched trainwrecks that Jesus chose for His original twelve followers to do life and ministry in His name.  I think we would have fit in nicely with the lot of them.  Man, those people were crazy...

I guess, where all of this boils down for me, is that no matter what "assignment" God gives us for the rest of our days - be it continuing with U.S. Center for World Mission or a Starbucks barista...or waittressing or whatever.... our children are watching, all of this life is their schoolroom, and we their parents are their most formative teachers.

And this is what I want them to see and learn from me and their daddy.

I want them to see that we loved people well.
And that when tough stuff came up - we handled it in a way that was healthy and honorable.
I want them to see that when we made mistakes, we owned them and made things right.
And I want them to see that we were all about relationships.

I want them to see that, yes life does bring with it a hefty amount of pain sometimes....but Jesus never promised us sunshine and roses.  He promised that people would know that we were HIS if we had love for one another.  He promised that if we forgave, He would hear our prayers.  He promised that when we can't go on another day -- we were never intended to do it in our own strength anyway.  And He will carry our burdens for us.

I never want my boys to see perfection in their parents.  (All hope is lost there, anyway).  But, I do want them to see what really is..... two people madly in love with each other and with Jesus, who are doing the very best that they know how to listen to Jesus' heart, to move when He says to move, to speak when He wants us to speak, to let go when we need to let go, to own our mistakes, to say we are sorry when we need to, to reach out, to forgive, and to ask for forgiveness.....and to walk this brutal and beautiful journey with Jesus with vulnerability, and in a way that honors Him.

I want them to see us take the crazy with the awesome.
The beauty with the ugly.
And the life-sustaining with the heart and gut-wrenching.

Because this is the road that they are each going to have to walk, as well.
They will mess up.  They will have successes.  They will be hurt.  And they will most likely wound.
That's kind of the reality of being human.

And when these things happen - which they will - I want them to walk life raw and real with Jesus.
And the truth is...I think that's what most people are trying their very hardest to do.

Maybe sometimes, we can get a little too zealous for a cause.

Maybe our hearts are so deeply invested in something that we forget that someone else might not feel quite as strongly about it as we do...and that's okay.

Maybe we see the black and white so very clearly that we forget to show a little mercy to those who see a bit more grey.

But, God's grace covers us.
And love covers a multitude of sins.
And bottom line - we all need Jesus.  Desperately.  Every day.
We are, each one of us, the walking wounded in some way or another.
And we have, each one of us, the power to bind up and heal someone else's wounds.

Because that's what life is about.
Following in the footsteps of Jesus and being reflections of Him.
That's the point of everything. 
Always, only Him.

All for One.

Our political views are vastly different.
And she thinks marriage is archaic.

I tease her about her "potty mouth."
She, in turn, mocks my "Jesus aura."

I'm pretty conservative in my views on a lot of things.
She's.....well.....not.

But, she's a young Mama who loves her babies like I love mine.  And here we are, unlikely friends.

Thanks to many of us - with good intentions, I am sure - her view of Jesus equals judgment, and her view of Christian equals jerk.

Has there been any washing of her feet?
Has there been any journeying side by side?
Has there been any empathy - any grace -  or only stones thrown?

And yet, she loves freely.
She treats everyone fairly.
Her playdates are all-inclusive invites.
At work, she takes each person at face value; and she understands the concept of "team."

As I watch her, I am increasingly convicted by this "unsaved" friend of mine; and I wonder if I have ever contributed to her jaded view of Jesus.  Have my actions or words with fellow "brothers and sisters" ever caused confusion for this friend who is looking on?  So, I find myself being forced to look inward and ask myself some pretty difficult questions...

I wonder what would happen if we "Christians" played this game of life as well as she does?

How much healing could happen if we forgave each other just as easily as we take offense?

What potential for greatness could there be if we viewed each other and our ministries as a team sport as opposed to a competition?

What good could Christ do through us if we focused as much on bridge building as we do on pointing out each other's flaws?

How healthy could we become if we spent as much energy on edifying and encouraging our pastors as we do on week after successive week kicking them while they are already down?

Might there be far less "walking wounded" Christians limping through life (with battle scars inflicted by their very own brothers and sisters, no less)?

Could there potentially be far more "seekers" looking on and finally actually being able to understand what true Christianity is supposed to look like?

Is it not true that so often in life we are tired and defeated with no energy to go on another day - not only because of the battle that is raging with all of the world around us -  but so much more so because of the kicking and the biting and the crushing wounds that we are continuously inflicting upon each other?

In these recent months, we have been humbled and healed by little country churches who have welcomed us with open arms and courageously supported our more "edgy" church ideas. We have been honored and embraced by pastors who have invited us into their sanctuaries to share how we do mission. We have sat down for coffee with pastors who exemplify "team" to the fullest by advertising other churches on their own home page knowing that their fellowship may not be the perfect fit for everyone.

We have been watching and experiencing the bridge building extended to us from our brothers and sisters time and time again, these past few months.  And we have seen and felt firsthand, the healing, the encouragement, the empowering, the validation, and the hope that comes from such loving acts.....

And this is exactly what we want to be about.

So, in the course of these past few years, if we have ever posted the "does not play well with others" sign above our door - we apologize - and we are taking it down.  If we have ever in-validated a ministry that might be going about mission a little differently than we go about ours - we are sorry.  This is not how we want to play this game of life.

Kingdom Mission is a team sport, and thankfully God takes great pleasure in using "the weak and based things of this world" to carry out His Story (I Cor. 1).  Since we are all beautiful messes in the first place - how much more do we truly need each other?  And how much more does the world looking on need to see unified love and forgiveness fully and freely given and received amongst ourselves? 

It's all about Him, in the first place - is it not?  Only always about Him.
So, if we are able to boast about anything at all - it can only be "In Him" alone - I Cor.1:31.
If anything good comes from anything that we are doing - it's only because of Him.
The ministries that He's entrusted into our care - they are His.  They're not ours.
And they are most effective when they are lived out in the concept of "team."

So, we thank you friends.
Thank you for your love and your support of us.  Thank you for humbling and growing us.  And thank you for journeying with us on this team sport of Kingdom Mission.  If there is any way that we can support and encourage you in your ministries, please let us know.

Because of Jesus...always, only because of Him...
All for One.

Little Loves...

 
 Daily reminders of God's grace and goodness:

~ My most favorite coffee shop...and it's coffee.
~ ...And it'sThai Chicken lunch of deliciousness...

 ~ Family days and all that comes with them ~ reconnecting and just "being."
~ My whites getting sunbleached for days on end...reminders of my lazyness.

~ Our first week of school...and the routine it brings back to our lives.

 ~ Daily reminders.
~ My corn waving tall and proud.  It makes me happy.
~ Little boy haircuts that instantly make them look years older.
~ Our new swing made by Daddy.

 ~ Christmas gifts in the making.
~ Late night work conversations.
~ Fresh perspective.
~ Being humbled...watching God move in spite of me.

 ~ Honest conversations with old friends.
~ Kittens napping in my towel basket.
~ Whiskers in the sunlight.
~ Little boys eating garden cucumbers.
~ Pumpkins growing ... waiting for the orange.

 ~ Mid-morning bike rides with the hoolies.
~ Adventures at the bog.
~ Oh so sloooowly beginning the potty training of boy #3.
~ Lessons learning with Kev...and tracking together.

 ~ Birthday gifts from friends...and tomatoes ripening on my windowsill.
~ Early morning runs - soul soothing.
~ Intentional time at the kitchen table...my favorite spot in the house.
~ Garden meals.

 ~ Beating the coons at their own game...and picking my corn before they do.
~ Dad's very last piece of fudge.
~ Cribbage and coffee with Kev each morning.
~ Bread rising on the counter.

 ~ Kaden's catch...and bringing it into work - still alive - to show me.
~ My co-workers giving much appreciated admiration.

 ~ Crayons, crafting, drawing, writing - always projects in the making.
~ Fall-like mornings turning into summer-like days and back to Fall-like evenings.

 ~ Pickles and relishes...
~ Shelves filling back up once again.
~ Gifts for sharing...food for eating.
~ Humble hearts, healing words, and honest conversations.

My three crazy Boy Joys...

And thus, my Joy Journey continues...
(#4096-#4135)

"To receive God's gifts, to live exalted and joy filled, isn't a function of straining higher, harder, doing more, carrying long the burden of the super-Pharisees or ultra-saints.  Receiving God's gifts is a gentle, simple movement of stooper lower." ~ Ann Voskamp

"The feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving......."

All About Tomatoes...Part One.

I'm not sure why I said my garden was winding down, yesterday...

My tomatoes are going gangbusters...and they may be starting with signs of blight, (blite?), so I am pick, pick, picking them before this happens.  My Aunty, who's an old timer gardener, says that when the first signs of sickness happen, pick them immediately and let them ripen and redden inside on newspapers - not touching each other.

Sooo, that's what we're doing.
We shall see.

In the meantime, I'm overtaken with this goodness.

So, here is my first tomato recipe of the season.
World's Best (for you) Carrot-Tomato Soup...

I got this recipe off of Soule Mama's blog years ago, so the creation is not my own - although I do add a large sweet potato to the pot for some extra sweetness, and I do not take the peelings off of my tomatoes.  I'm way too lazy for that, and you would never know they are there once the soup is pureed....

Okay. Here goes:

Take a jillion tomatoes - I believe the original, single batch recipe calls for 4 pounds of them.  (I always double my batches so that I have leftovers.  This soup also freezes really well).  Slice them in half and place them on a baking sheet.  Cover with a scant half cup of extra virgin olive oil, a few sprigs of fresh oregano and resemary, and 3/4 tsp. of sea salt.

Place in a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes to roast.
(Prepare for your house to start smelling like Heaven).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, melt 2 Tblsp. butter and a couple of Tblsp. olive oil in a heavy-bottomed pot over medium-low heat.  Add 1 diced onion, 2 stalks diced celery, 5 diced carrots, 3 cloves minced garlic, 1 large sweet potato diced - and cook until the veggies begin to get soft (15 minutes or so).  When the tomatoes are done, add those to the pot (removing the sprigs of herbs), along with 2 cups of chicken or vegetable stock.  Simmer on low until the vegetables are all tender (another 15 minutes ro so).

**These veggy quantities are for a single batch recipe.

Puree the soup.
I don't have an immersion blender, so I just use my regular blender, which works perfectly fine.

Stop here if you want to freeze some soup for later.  My goal is to always freeze at least a one quart mason jar full of the goodness...

Return the soup to the pot and onto the stove.
Heat slowly.

Add 1/3 cup fresh chopped basil leaves and 3/4 cup heavy cream, half and half, or whole milk - depending on how healthy you feel like being...I've done it with skim milk before, and it honestly tastes fine - and eat it up!

We love it with a sprinkling of crunchy kosher salt on top, and sharp cheese and crusty bread on the side.  A super cozy falltime supper...

I will say this:

This soup is a labor of lavor to make, so if you or your family members are not soup lovers - let alone tomato soup lovers - don't bother making it.  Four out of the five of us love this, so it is worth the effort for me to put into making it...

...and endure the "it looks like puke" comments from the other...
Just sayin'.

The Last Few Days...

The facebook status updates remind me...and the buses driving by show proof.

These long lazy days that we've enjoyed these past few months are quickly drawing to a close, and with the flip of the calendar in just a few days, Fall will be upon us.

And just like that, another summer draws to a close.

Some Mamas are rejoicing.  Some are weepy. 
And some have yet to experience this "school stage" of life for their wee ones.

I'm not sure where I am, just yet.

 ("The pier" in Rockland.  One of my most favorite places to poke around with the boys).

I'm kind of happy that my garden is winding down.
I'm kind of loving the crisp, cool mornings and evenings.
I'm kind of ready for more structure and organized rhythm to our days.

But, I really kind of hate change...

And this year marks a new chapter for many of my friends, so that means life will look differently than it does right now.
But different isn't bad.  It's just...different.

So, we shall milk these last few days of "vacay" to the very best that we know how.
We'll live outside on the sunny days.
We'll make milkshakes and smoothies for our lunches.
We'll have a final few playdates.
And we'll drink blueberry soda...because that's what we do in the summer.
We'll swing and we'll read outside...and we'll go to camp for "one last time."

Because "happiness isn't a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
(~Margaret Lee Runbeck~)

And since I can't do a thing about stopping time or pausing life or putting my kids' ages on hold for just a little bit longer...I might as well enjoy the journey, see the beauty, and find the joy.

After all, it is "the joy of the small that makes life large." ~ Ann Voskamp

May you find joy this weekend, friends!
May we all slow and see the sacred in the chaos.
And may we all find joy in the journey...

Time Moves On.

This time of year always makes me just a wee bit melancholy.
The lazy days of summer are drawing to a close.
Fall is creeping into our evenings and mornings.
And a new chapter of life is upon us.

Mama guilt is a constant companion for many of us, I suppose. 

But, for some reason, this time of year she always seems to stay a little closer to my side.  I see my boys' crazy growth spurts that have taken place over the summer, we have just had two of the three birthdays with another rolling right around the corner - and I can't help but just stop and shake my head at the new ages they proudly wear when asked how old they are. 

And I wonder afresh...
Have I savored them enough? 
Have I treasured these days as I should have? 
And when the time comes for them to really fly, will I have lived these fleeting years well so that I'll have no regrets?

The answer that I am coming to is..... No.

I'm pretty sure I'll always have regrets.  I'll always wish I had done something better...savored longer...spent more time at play than at work.

But, I am also learning afresh and anew this whole concept of grace. 
And the fact that His mercies are new every morning.

We do the absolute best that we possibly can, we love the absolute hardest that we know how to love, we make the best decisions that we know how to make and that seem the best for our little family...

And Jesus covers it, and redeems it all. 

He brings beauty out of the messes that we make, and He restores and revives and fills in the gaps of all of our failings.  Our babies and our homes and our lives and our days are all His in the first place anyway, right?  All that we have is His - and He is far more invested in these little lives than we could ever think of being.

Because the truth of the matter is that at the beginning of every school year, I will always second guess whatever schooling decision I have made for that year.  And as my boys grow older and continue to gradually pull farther away from their Mama and ever closer to their Daddy - which is right and good and just the way things should be - and when next year rolls around - making Kaden nine years old - and marking the exact halfway point of when he will (most likely) move out of our little home and into the world and out on his own...

I will forever be slayed by these growing up milestones of life.

My babies are babies no more.
They are little boys growing up and moving right along with time.
They are mine for only a little bit longer.

And then I am reminded....that they are all His in the first place.
And the world rights itself just a little bit again....

When Grampy & Grammy Came to Stay.

When Grampy and Grammy came, the days were long and lazy, and little boys and Mamas alike had their love tanks filled to the brim...

 Grammy made homemade coffee icecream - Heaven in a bowl, as far as I'm concerned - and the Littles got to lick off the paddle...

Grampy went along with my new creative whim, and set up "Shop Class" right in our driveway so we all could have our turn with the jigsaw.

Mom and I worked in the garden and made a batch of her famous green tomato pickles.

Conversations were had.
Wisdom was sought.
Life was lived.
Games were played.
And bellies were filled.

 Happy bread and garden cukes.  Simple, easy suppers for the easiest guests on the planet.

It was a good couple of days... Thanks for everything, Marmie and Daddy-O....
You guys are the bestie best.