To Instill Wonder...

I was skimming another Mama's blog post today and one little phrase that she wrote jumped off the screen at me.

She said that her job as a Mama is "to teach and to instill wonder" into her children.  And I thought: "Oh my goodness!  Yes!"  Granted, this isn't the be all and end all job of Motherhood, but it surely is a huge piece of the job description - whether we send our kids off to school in the morning or teach them ourselves around our kitchen tables every day.
She has a bit of a boot addiction.  It begins.
All of life is learning.
And so much of that living and learning, they are soaking in like sponges just from watching us.
And I wonder sometimes just what they are witnessing.

Maybe this is hitting me so new and so fresh because I have a little toddler who literally follows my every move - every single waking minute of her day.  No matter what I am doing - she is committed. She's right there in the thick of it with me.  Laundry?  Clothes are flying everywhere, and she is in her glory.  Dishes?  She steps right up onto the dishwasher and starts handing me clean plates and glasses -- and goodness knows, I'd better be ready for the hand off, because she means business. Cooking?  She wants to stir, she wants to taste test, and she'd like it best if she could be sitting right up on top of the countertop all the while.  In the bathroom getting ready for the day?  She brushes her teeth when I brush mine.  She wants powder put on her nose when she sees it go on mine.  School with the Hoolies? - she is either on one of us or squished right smack dab in the middle of it all...adding her own little recipe of whirling dervish to the already Crazy that is my day.

Little red newts...the wonder of the woods.
This is my Life.
And most days, this is my Joy...
Those other days... I feel like I might lose my marbles.

Those are the days when I wound and I bleed raw my four tender hearts because I have an agenda and there's always more to do.  I have to race and I have to spin if everything is going to go just as it should, and there's never enough time, and I'm always behind.  There's only one of me, and at times I'm barely treading water.  Those are the days when I forget to Slow and See.  I forget to hunt for the Sacred that is married to the Chaos...
Drawing pictures on mossy rocks with sticks as pens.
But, my Grammy used to say that "Haste makes waste," and man, she had it right. Haste makes waste to our very souls.  Haste wounds.  And haste means missing out on a lot of "wonder instilling."  I have found in this past year, though, that in order to do this well, the Mama has to be healthy and the Mama has to be whole.

As whole as any broken woman in need of Jesus can be.  I guess that's the beauty of it all in the first place, anyway.  So, for this season of life, sleep is sacrificed in exchange for an hour and a half of solitude - Jesus, coffee, and exercise.  First thing every morning.  Fuel for my heart and fuel for my soul.  I am better because of this.  I am filled so that I can pour out.

And after that - I have eyes that more clearly see.
My perspective shifts, and I am better at stooping low.
When I am not married to my agenda, and when I'm not a slave to my schedule - that's when the wonder enters in.

And not just for them.
That's when I can see it, too.
The boys have moved out...
~ Kaden and I might play a game of Cribbage, even though the clock says it's time for school.

~ The boys may sleep out in their tent for days on end - even though the practical part of me says they'll be way more rested if they were in their own beds.  I now think of their adventure, and of their brotherhood bonding.  I think of the childhood memories they'll be able to recall when they're older.

~ They may go night crawling at 9:00 at night - because isn't that the beauty of Homeschooling in the first place?  They can sleep in a bit the next day.  We can start when we're ready.  And if all the guys want to go fishing until dark on a crazy trout excursion - is it really a big deal if the showers and baths have to wait for one more day?  These are Epic adventures!
This.  I Love.
~ If Jesse's love is creating, I can help with that wonder and that creativity.  I can teach him recipes...and I can give him freedom to get lost in his own creations.  I can give him free reign of my kitchen...and I can teach him to clean up when he's done.  I watch his joy, and I can delight with him in his creating.

~ If Kaden loves to hunt, he can get up early and go to bed late - being outside, in creation, with his Daddy.  Becoming a man, providing for his family, getting better and better with each season of the hunt.  I can encourage that.  I can cheer him on, and I can enter into his quiet joy and accomplishments.
Gifts from Ransom
~ If Ransom loves his own little world of cars and bikes, of swinging and of playing outside - I can join him in his world.  The dishes can wait, I can enter into his boyhood wonder as we swing higher and higher -- talking about everything and about nothing at all.

~ If London's love is to be with her Mama, I can slow things down, and I can let her help.  I can teach her, and I can enter into her Joy of whatever moment we are in - brushing teeth, flinging laundry, or burrowing under the blankets of the beds that we just made.
Suppers of Freshness...  Zucchini noodles.  My new Love.
I can slow, and I can see.
I can enter into the wonder.
But, I have to get out of the way of myself, first...

And maybe it's not me instilling that wonder into them, anyway.
Maybe it never was.
Maybe it was these guys who were the teachers all along...helping their Mama to see.

More of You
Less of Me
Clear my Eyes
And help me See...

Little Lives
Give me Grace
to see their Hearts
and see YOUR Face.

Give me Joy
A Heart for You
Fill me up
To start Anew.

Guard my Heart
Keep my Soul
A Brand new day
To Start out Whole....

My Kitchen Reminder...
"Faithful is He who calls me, who also will do it....."

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