To My Loves...

So here I sit -- on the Eve of a New Year -- I look back at these past twelve months...
And I remember.

Sweet boys...thank you for the gift of letting me be your Mama.
Thank you for being such great protectors of your new baby.
Thanks for taking this crazy journey with your Daddy and I.
And thanks for being so flexible on this...the ride of our lives...
My girls.  Nestled all snug in their beds...
Hopefully when you look back over this past year, you will see all of the good.  So very much good...
Hopefully your happy moments far outweigh your sad ones...
And hopefully the knowledge of your Mama's crazy love for you far outweighs the truth of her flaws.

It's good to look back.
It's good to remember.
It's why I write this book for you...

Because, when the blur of each day's wildness so quickly meshes into a week... which crashes into a month...and ultimately turns into an entire year...well, sometimes it's barely possible to just hold on - let alone look back and fully grasp all that happened during these past many days.
This was the year of surprises...deliciously delightful ones.
So, I think, looking back helps us not to live in the past...but to remember how far we've come.
To see where God has brought us.
And to fully grasp the truth of how much He has carried us.

I've heard it said that the three biggest stresses in someone's life are:  a new job, a new baby, and a move to a new place.  Well, we did all three this year - just about all at the same time, as well - and I would indeed concur that there is much truth in the previously written statement.

I think your Daddy and I have both aged a bit these past twelve months...

This is this year we sold our Home.
This year will indeed go down in the books, for sure.
This was the year where your Daddy and I walked life together like we've never walked before.
It was the year of change...and a year of stepping way back.
It was a year for letting go of any pre-conceived concepts of control.
It was the year of refining...and of letting go...of allowing ourselves to be stripped to the core...

...and it was a year of then allowing Jesus to build us back up again.
...and of allowing Him to write our Story the way that He sees fit.

It's kind of a good place to be.

And the year we made ourselves a new HOME...and allowed friends to turn into Family.
And so...

Out of all of the fifteen years that your Daddy and I have walked together side by side, while year 2013 was by far our craziest...and in some ways...our heaviest...  while it was the one filled with the most changes -- and we know Change well...

It was also our strongest together.
We walked raw and real together, he and I...
It was a year of learning, and it was a year of growth.

And when we felt out of control...and when life got spinning.
When we hadn't fully lost our joy...but we had to search a little harder to get a glimpse.
When we had no answers...and when we didn't know the way..

We just hung on all the tighter.
To each other.  And to Jesus.
Always Jesus....

Because, He's the best Story Writer, anyway...
He knows all the exciting parts.
He's written the Ending.
And He's allowed us to be a part of it all.....

So, He can me write me in however He sees fit.
So....
As another year winds down...and as a brand new one is upon us...
As today winds down and turns into tonight...
And as I kiss that man -  your Daddy - goodnight....long before that big ball drops...

We'll snuggle in.
He'll hold me close.

And I'll tell him this:  "It was crazy.  But, the story is good.
And I will still follow you to the Ends of the Earth...and back again."


No comments: