So, I had an epiphany of sorts the other day.
I'm not sure the exact minute it happened, or the exact how or why precisely -- all I know is that, this weekend, somewhere between a heavy conversation with someone about "Does God even exist?" and then another conversation with someone whom I hadn't seen for ten plus years where I was literally listening to myself talk about something and knowing full well that I was not explaining myself nearly as intelligibly as I was thinking it in my brain -- I had this previously above mentioned epiphany.
I am really not very good with hard questions.
I do not have the gift of discernment.
Sometimes I don't have much of a filter.
And I do not have the gift of counseling.
I'm just not good at it.
My brain gets all funky, and the answers get all blurry, and I release this verbal spewage that makes no sense at all. And sometimes, I try so hard to be encouraging and understanding, that it gets misconstrued for full and free support of what is taking place, when in my heart I don't agree with it at all, but I am trying to be supportive of the friend - NOT the activity.
You tracking with me?
I often say really dumb things and give really bad advice.
I often see a situation completely for what it isn't.
I sometimes step on toes unintentionally, and other times I completely avoid stepping on toes when maybe they should be tromped on just a little bit.
But, that's okay.
I'm still learning me.
I am good at listening.
I am good at tangibly showing I care and am concerned.
The counseling stuff, I am learning to defer to Kevy.
And the things that might need filtering, I am learning to shut my trap.
I'm becoming very comfortable with saying "I don't know;" daily I eat humble pie, and that's okay; and I'm learning to defer to others who might be more qualified to handle things or even speak, for that matter, better than I.
That's what makes "the body" - the BODY, right?
I'm the "eye," someone else is the "arm," and others are the "feet" and the "hands."
It's good. It's all good.
Lessons learning.
4 comments:
So, so true Amy...I feel the pain of your inabilities!!! Man, I know myself that humble pie is downright hard! I've never seen you struggle with having discernment....but I will tell you this: the MAIN reason I was first drawn to you as a friend is because you have an incredible gift in listening and sympathizing. You are all heart, and God knew I needed that at the time in my life that He brought you along! Don't get too discouraged by what you CAN'T do well, but celebrate the abilities He's given you that you ARE ABLE TO do well! I love your wording about that's why there's a body of Christ and not just one individual doing it all. So true. Such a good post, my friend....I heart you. Lots.
Ditto to everything rach said. I will say also, that I too, am not good at the counselling part. I have learned a few thiings from watching hubby, and he listens alot (usually alot more than I would), and he asks alot of questions..that way, the person is faced with having to probe themselves and see where they are at/will land. Sometimes, I default to giving advice or my opinion, when what they need is to figure it out themselves, not be spoon fed the answer. So much humble pie being eaten here too. Love your heart.
amen. :)
I agree with Rachael - but, I disagree with you and Ang...sorry, girls - but, I think you are both good at listening AND advising...you're both amazing examples of so many good things in my life...i love you.
why on earth haven't we spoken in a zillion years, Ame? this week, okay? its TIME, girly.
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