True Confessions of a Wannabe Super Mom

NOTE: THIS POST HAS SINCE BEEN EDITED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT......I would never want to hurt anyone by what I write here; AND I'm sure that hearts were in the right place when conversations were had.....


I've had a couple of interesting conversations with some women in my stage of life this past week. They are more acquaintances, really. I don't know them well, by any means; but being a fellow mom with any young woman gives you an instant sense of comraderie whether you've known them for a day or ten years.

After one of these conversations, I left feeling very drained and like I had just been in the presence of a "super mom" who I would NEVER be able to live up to. And after the OTHER conversation, I left feeling energized and refreshed, KNOWING that I had just encouraged another fellow journey-er in this current crazy, insane stage of life.

Upon processing these two VERY different conversations, I have determined that I am SO done with the "Super Mom" persona. I'm SO over it - .......

Yet, in my heart of hearts.....I know I'm not.

Who doesn't want to come across to their friends and peers that they look like they have it all together? Who doesn't want to look like - at least on the outside - that they always have all of their ducks in a row, no hair ever out of place, and that they just love every single thing that life throws at them? I know that's what I want people to think of me! I know that I want others to think of ME as a "super mom." But, really ---- what does that do for everyone else?

My second conversation with a very new mom went a lot like this: Throughout the course of the evening she asked me with tears in her eyes: "Why is it that we moms can't just encourage each other? Why do we always have to act like everything is always perfect even when we know it's not? Why do we have to brag up ourselves and our children just to make ourselves feel better? Why can't we just be real with each other when we're struggling? When we're lonely? When we feel like we don't know what we're doing? When we maybe aren't even really enjoying this stage of life like we thought we would?"

So what does the "Super Mom" persona do for a young mom like this? Anything? I don't think so. And I know I'm guilty at times. I know I do it. I KNOW I do.

I am well aware that I have to limit MY interactions with super moms. Otherwise, I would find myself always comparing and coming up short, constantly discouraged, and feeling like a perpetual failure! Comparison DESTROYS contentment. But, that's what we girls are SO very good at. So, upon processing both of these conversations, I have been asking myself if there are women in my life who feel that they have to limit their time with ME? Do I make some of my friends feels this way?

Because if I do...it's a nasty thing...and I want to be done with it. It does no one any good. We need to be about coming ALONGSIDE each other - not ONE UPPING each other. Yucky stuff. It's no good.

More to come.......

6 comments:

Shay said...

Amy, anytime I spent time with you, I came away feeling better about myself. You were always loving & encouraging, and never once made me feel like there were any comparisons going on. Why do you think I was so sad when you moved away?! ;)

Rachael said...

Well said. And sooo true!

ange said...

aw hun...i feel your heart beat!!..

heres what i think about these so called super moms... They might be investing all this time on looking fab on the outside for all the world to see...but at what cost?? perhaps at the expense of their insides, where God sees?.. once upon a time i was a desperate supermom/pastor's wife wannabe..and i was terribly quick to pass judgemnt on those who were anything less.. { im forever ashamed about this , btw..)

Here's the hard lesson ive learned over the years.
( ugh especially in ministry, speaking of comparisons..).. the only supermom i care to be is the super mom my kids see in me and the super mom that God wants me to be. Other than that,,i dont give a rats behind what anybody else thinks...

it feels really good to shout it from the mountain top that i certainly do not have it all together ,,nor do i care to!!!.. try it,,its liberating~~{ though i havent really shouted it from a mountain}

Its been a couple of years since i ditched that whole 'look at me , i'm awesome ' personna.. and i tell ya,, ive actually never felt more..'super'..!!
blessings darlin and thank you for your beautiful honesty!

Anonymous said...

I love You! Rachel

Chantelle said...

A M E N.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you girl. I just posted some similar thoughts on my blog...