Questions involving babies and body parts, and how do these things happen, and why...
Sweet, innocent questions that show us we are slowly entering into a new chapter of life.
Looking back, I'm not really sure how the topic of sex was covered with my brothers. I don't know if Dad talked to them, or if Mom did - or both of them, for that matter. We were raised to use the "technical terms" for body parts...but mind you, I lived in a house with all boys, so whilst they knew the proper terminology, those terms were
I don't ever remember being embarrassed or mortified, I don't ever remember being shocked, and I don't ever remember learning any new concept for someone other than her. I was well prepared for all stages of my growing years - both physically and emotionally. It was healthy. It was good. And I really believe that it was done right. I had many friends whose parents - for whatever reasons - never talked about any of these things that take place both in our bodies and in our minds during our growing up years...so they were left to their peers...or their boyfriends to fill in the gaps of what I feel should have been taught at home.
I was also taught - from a very young age - not just about sex, but about purity...and about saving sex for one man and for one lifetime of marriage. Not quite so foreign a concept as it is now, for sure, but still not mainstream in the public school system even twenty years ago. And regardless of if my children choose to go this route or not for their own lives - though I pray they will - we will raise them God's way, and by God's standards...even if the whole world looking on thinks we're crazy.
Our children will learn that sex is the greatest gift they can ever give to their husband or their wife, and we will do our best to help them save that gift for their wedding night. God knows, there's enough baggage and crap that we bring into our marriages to cause enough issues -- they don't need to bring in the ghosts of sexual partners past, as well. This entire concept is so ludicrous to so many people nowadays that I know it will be a miracle if they are indeed able to wait. But, it can be done - their father and I are proof positive. And I have far higher standards for my children than society does. Sex education in this home will be far more involved them teaching them how to use a condom and telling them to have "safe sex."
I want my kids to learn how to bend the knee.
I want my kids to learn to "save sex."
I want to save them scars.
I don't want them to have unnecessary baggage.
Life is hard enough already.
But God's a specialist in bringing beauty out of ashes, as well....so if one -or all - of them don't wait until they marry, I have no doubt that God can still bless and that He can still heal. I've seen the proof time and time again. He is awesome that way....
But, we will ingrain it into our boys' brains and hearts that young women are not objects. They are somebody's future wife, just as their baby sister London is -- and unless that young woman whom they are spending time with is indeed their wife, then they have no right to any part of her. There are enough men in the world tallying up the number of women whom they are sleeping with for locker room bragging rights - God knows there is no need for three more jerks in the mix. This will be a battle. This will be a war for their hearts and for their souls -- and it will never ever be won by their strength alone.
But that's why they need Jesus.
And in this me-first world of expected insta-happiness....I want to raise them to be patient. And to not look for the most popular or the most pretty - but for the one with whom they want to spend of lifetime of forevers with. The one whom they want to raise their babies. One who will be their friend and partner amidst a lifetime of monotony, of in and out days of crazy chaos, and of potential gut-wrenching pain.... I want them to wait for the one who will be willing and happy to follow them to the Ends of the Earth should God ever call them there....
And there are young girls out there - and I will try my hardest for raise London to be one of them - who will be willing to wait. Who will want to be treated with respect, and who will want a boy to look at her with eyes that do not wander. There are girls out there who want to be loved for who they are - not for what they can physically give. And I will raise London to treat her virginity as a treasure -- one that at any point, at any stage of the game, she can give away... but a gift that she will never ever be able to get back once it is gone that very first time.
What better gift to give your husband or your wife on your wedding night?
What better gift could there be to mutually unwrap together?
And again - I will scream it from the rooftops - that I believe to my deepest core that God is a God of redemption and of second chances. It's His specialty. Should one or all of my children choose to go their own way and walk their own path - we will love them no less. I just want to save my kids some heartache. And I believe with everything in me that next to them choosing to go God's way in life -- I think their decision on whom they marry will be their second greatest life changing decision that they will ever ever make.
And I just want them to know that it can be done - regardless of what their peers may be doing.
I want them to know that the long term benefits will forever outweigh any heat of the moment difficulties.
I want them to learn to do hard things. I want them to be different. I want them to be examples.
I want them to be gentlemen, and to always and forever treat any and every girl as they would want their London to be treated.
I want more for them than this world expects that can be done.
I want them to go against the grain of what society says is completely acceptable.
I want them to not care if they stand alone.
And I want them to guard themselves - heart, mind, and body jealously for "the one" whom God will give to them one day.
And I pray that there are other Mama's and Daddy's out there - ones who are raising three little ladies and one wee gentleman of their own - ones who believe these things as strongly as this Mama and Daddy do. Oh God, I pray for those four kids. For the ones who will claim the hearts of my four Loves....
Grow in grace.
Stay strong.
Wait.
Fall in love with Jesus first.
Go against the flow.
Guard your hearts....
Save yourself. Save everything.
For that one day when she wears white...
And for the day when those three boys - now men - stand tall and teary, waiting for "their one" to walk down that aisle....
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