I'm sitting here this morning feeling equal parts refreshed/reconnected and on-edge/chomping at the bit.

London is sleeping still -- so I should be flying around like a crazy lady, Ransom is chitty chatting beside me and sharing my coffee, and the two biggest Hoolies are sprawled on the couch watching a movie.  Yes a movie.  At 8:00 a.m.  No judgey.

Kev and I have been passing like ships in the night these past several days - literally tagging in and tagging out as he comes home from work and I head out for an evening shift of last night he put his foot down and said enough was enough.

I believe his exact words were:  "I refuse to be a slave to the tyranny of the urgent."

My evening plans had involved going over to our new place to paint until Midnight or so, because a friend had out of the blue offered to watch my kids for it was just so very obvious to me that we would take her up on the offer and go and kill things over there.  Hello.  No brainer.

He texted me from work and said:  "Don't you think it would be a good idea to just be together as a family this evening?"
I texted him back and said:  "Well, stuff is not going to get done by itself, and we only have 10 days to ransack the place."
He said:  "I think we all need to reconnect."
I said:  "Ten days."
He said:  "It'll get done."
I said:  "Ten...Days."
He said:  "What's your name again?  I forgot...because I haven't seen you since July."

Just kidding.
He didn't say that...but he was right.
My canned goods and my basement are now in our new abode.
The rest of my house is a different story.
And so...
We had a cozy supper together as a family -- with real veggies and something that looked a whole lot different than toast or cereal -- and then we packed up the Hoolies and took them out for icecream.  It was good.  It was needed.  And he was right.

I think that in most marriages, the wife has the finger on the pulse of the family.  It doesn't really work that way with ours.  I could be a workaholic, easily.  I can justify that a whole stretch of "crazy" is just for a "season"....and before I know it, one season flows into another...and eventually we would be sitting across from each other having serious marriage problems.
London & Ransom's room.  Although I don't want a "girly girl"...this is a little much for  me.
It's no secret that someday I would love to go back to school to be a midwife.  I cannot tell you how many people have suggested that I just "pick away" at my classes during these years of child rearing, so that when they head off to school, I'll have my degree and I can head out into the real world and see my dream become a reality.  Maybe some women can do this, and even do it really well - with honest to goodness boundaries and everything.  But, I know me.  And I know that I am an all or nothing kind of a girl, and I am also a self-proclaimed that whatever test or paper that would be due - it would always be in the back of my mind, I would never be able to slow and just "be," and I would be very tempted for the next four years of their childhoods to just say: "Oh, it's only a season...just until this next test is done with...and then I'll check back into motherhood."
And so it shall come off the walls.
We'd all fall apart.  I know this for sure.
It's a growth point, a character flaw...what have you.
But I know me, and I know my tendencies.  It's a major weakness of mine, and so I'm not even going to open that Pandora's box until this "season" of motherhood looks like a way different "season" than it does right now.  Good Heavens, I'm completely twitchy over a room that still needs to be painted at our new place.

So, there you have it.
I'm growing and I'm learning.
But, it's Kev who keeps us all in check.
Stripping wallpaper is of the devil.  Of this I am certain.
And so today, I shall pack a box here and there...amidst four wee ones whirling and swirling around.  We'll stop for snacks and for baby feedings.  They'll probably watch more t.v. than I would care to admit.  We'll probably have toast again tonight.  And I know this place will get packed up.  I also know our new place will get painted.  It will all get always does.  And we'll all look back and wonder how it happened.

And, by God's'll get done with no collateral damage.
The kids will feel loved, and they'll feel safe and secure with this huge change.
Kev and I will maintain our sense of humor and we'll stay re-connected.
I won't get my pants in a wad, and my words will be kind.
It's also really good to have friends invite you to step away from the tyranny of the urgent, as well....
"How we spend our days is in we live our lives." ~ Author Unknown.


Shannie Cook said...

You sound like Tim Hawkins: "don't you judge me!!" :)

Kelsey said...

I so wish that you could become a midwife before I have babies... but it's okay that you probably can't. maybe you'll get a few of 'em, though. you've got a little time. ;)