When today rolled around - day 8 of not having left this house save for 2 shifts of waitressing which do not count as "getting out" to me - with a weekend that blurred seamlessly right back into a Monday because those two days off looked just like all the others this past week with sweatpants, sickness, and snot....
When today rolled around with a rousing hacking-up-a-lung cough by a Hoolie in the basement, and a call to the doctor because we just can't get ourselves better...I done gone went and told Monday right where she could stick it. The same place where I told this up and coming blizzard where she could go as well.
I'm a crabby pants today.
And I have a permanent growth attached to my hip named London.
I haven't seen another living soul for days, and these four small walls are slowly making me crazy.
I'm a pretty good nurse until about day 4, and then my mental faculties start to unravel.
And today is looking like a tangled mess of crazy.
Kaden is dead, London is clingy, and the two middle boys are as sick of each other's company as I am of my own.
A classic Monday. Throw in yet another blizzard, and we're golden.
And just when I am about to throw in the towel and listen to the sneering hiss of the Enemy telling me that today is a fail before it's barely even begun...that I might as well call it quits on this whole day anyway, because it's surely only going to end in tears....
I bend low and I read: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children...." And "...In as much as you have done it unto the least of these...you have done it unto ME."
And those words on those pages, they slay me...
Whoever takes the lowliest position of these whirling little children...these are the greatest in God's Kingdom. And this work that's being done -- this cooking and cleaning, and wiping noses, and warming up hot water bottles, and wearing her snot, and hugging her close, and entertaining the ones who feel well while soothing the ones who do not -- this right here in the mucky moments of life that is Motherhood...this is Holy work...with the messy hair, and the unbrushed teeth, and the 3 day old sweatpants right along with it.
It's the vantage point.
It's always the perspective.
|My boys. Reading their blog book. THIS makes me happy...|
"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it!" ~ G.K. Chesterton
It's true that "all wonder and worship can only come out of smallness." ~ Ann Voskamp
My kids...they already know.
They've been trapped inside with me for days.
They know the smallness that is their Mama.....
And so tonight - when I get the call from work that tells me to stay home because the roads are too bad....well, that feels kind of like a "do over," to me...
And all of a sudden...these four small walls that I was craving freedom from...no longer feel so confining. And those tiny little arms that are perpetually wrapped around my neck with that feverish little forehead plastered fast against my own....I see for what it really is. I see Him in her... And the ones who are crazy will help me with supper...while the ones who are sick will be snuggled.
This is the Holy Here...
These are the gifts of Today.
And this is the Beauty of Now.
I lean in...baptized by You....and Remember.....
Ugly days can be beautiful, too.