New Beginnings.

Once I win the battle over my bed, I love early mornings when I'm the only one awake.
I love new beginnings.
And I love fresh starts.

I love what a brand new year looks like - stretching ahead with all those many months.
And I wonder what's in store for us.

I wonder what part God will have us play in HIStory for this coming year.
I wonder what surprises there will be, and I'm curious about the new chapters that are about to be written.

Typically, I print my blog books from January 1 thru December 31, because that's the way a calendar year works.  I find that life, however, doesn't begin and wrap up all neat and concise like the months on my wall do.  Seasons tend to flow a bit more freely, and chapters don't shut just because one month turns into another.
 (Ransom's birthday this year, in which I failed to write a blog post about it.  This was the month of the move, and Mama dropped the ball in writing you a letter, Hun.  I'm sorry.  I didn't write one for Daddy, either.  You requested pancakes, bacon, and eggs for supper and a "green cake with lots of candy."  We got you your first pellet gun, and you had two parties - one with our Housemates and one up north with Grampy and Grammy Quint.  How I love you, sweet boy.  My car loving, puppy toting, baby sister kissing, your very-own-name-writing, five year old big brother).

So, while my book should technically have ended on my last post which was December 30, I feel as though that would be a bit of a bummer way to end this past year's chapter of life.  It was indeed an honest post about a Mama's honest struggles, but that surely wasn't the "be all and end all" conclusion of a Mama's entire past year.

It was a year that was deep, and full, and good.  It was a year of truest friendships and of a marriage that was refined.  It was a year where we settled into having this crazy bit of pink in our lives and of watching three brother boys become putty in all things where she is concerned.  It was a year of deep growth for me - whereas in previous years there was a "coasting" in my walk with Jesus.  And it was a year in living truth that all "my adequacy" is found in Him alone. (II Corinthians 3:5)

Those are great things for which I am deeply thankful.
Those are the markings of a year that was rich.

And so, my sweet boys and my London ~
My biggest reason for writing these pages is for you to look back on your years at HOME and be able to remember...  To remember our memories and our traditions, to see yourselves grow through these pages of time....and to see your Mama's heart on this whole crazy journey of Family and of Motherhood.  This is my Story, and this is your Story.  And it's flawed and it's messy, but so are all of us.  And it's great and full of unconditional love that's Always and Forever, no matter what.  It's full of chaos and of crazy, of mishaps and adventure...and it's written by the greatest Story Teller of all time.

Your Mama's struggles are no secret to you all, anyway.  And your Mama's flaws are most apparent within these four small walls of Home.  But, I hope you see my growth, as well.  I hope you see my Journey with Jesus.  I hope you know that you all are my Life - my four greatest gifts.  You have grown me.  You have made me better.  You have brought me deep Joy and I am so deeply grateful for this whole Ride of Life that we get to ride altogether.  How blessed I am because of you......
For Chantelle...who says I never post messy pictures.
With a new year upon us, I am happy to look back.
I think it's healthy to remember, and it's good to look ahead.
And so, in a nutshell for me....

Lessons learning these past twelve months:

~ I am at peace with imperfection.  Let come what may, it is mine, and I accept it.  The good, the bad, and all things ugly to boot.  I love this life that is mine.

~ I accept the challenge to wake each day and find the joy, and peace, and beauty that comes with all that is the fullest Life that God wants for me.  And I accept the truth that I shall remain tired for many more years to come.  In the meantime, I offer the sacrifice of one less hour of sleep each day to obtain revival in my soul...and hope in my heart....and a renewal of strength and of grace for each new day.
Uncle Shawn...generous to a fault...who gave us a huge t.v. for Christmas because he says our other one was the size of a computer screen.  The boys now feel like they're at the movies when they watch PBS!
~ I have zero problem with sharing my struggles and my aches, because I am positive that someone, somewhere has struggled with those exact same issues. Four children later...there is no possible hope or chance for me to try and prove to others that I have it all together.....whatever "it" is, in the first place....and there is a vast amount of freedom in letting that facade of perfection fly fast and far out the proverbial window.  It's refreshing, in fact.

~ I am striving to be more intentional in my relationship with each one of my children.  I am striving to learn them individually - what makes them tick, what brings them joy, what God-given gifts they are expressing, and what areas God is wanting to grow them.  My prayers are becoming more specific - both for my children and for my husband, and He is impressing on my heart to cover them more intentionally - both in my consistency and in my requests.

~ And I am leaning in - a willing participant for whatever part of History God has for me to play. He's the best Story writer anyway, so He can write me in however He sees fit.  He knows all the exciting parts.  He's already written the ending.  And it's pretty cool that I just get to be a part of it all...

So, here's to a new year of learning, and of loving.
Of truly seeing, and of honest and true Living.

And so....
With another year behind us, and with a brand new one upon us...
I will kiss that man - your Daddy - into a new year of this crazy ride together...we'll hold each other tight... and I'll whisper to him soft: "It was crazy, but the story is good.  And I'll still follow you to the Ends of the Earth.  And back again...."

In the midst of the messy and the madness
I am safe, I am loved, and I am free.
With my Jesus and my loved ones all around me
Step by step, day by day, it's all I need.....
 Kaden and Jesse both were also both baptized this fall by their Daddy.
This also occurred during the month of the move, so a post did not get made into this book, however the entire baptism was caught on video and recorded.  
It was SO special.
Kev talked about the things he loved about each boy and how much he loves being their Daddy.
I pretty much cried throughout the entire thing.
And to the Author of it all ~
I thank you for this life.
It is deep, it is rich, and it is full...

No comments: