Life.

Life is crazy.
Life is spinning.
Life is whirling...

Life is painful.
Life is messy.
Life is hard.

But...
Life is beauty.
Life is learning.
Life is.....fleeting.

Life is family.
Life is knowing.
And being..... known.

Life is tired.
Life is giving.
Life is growing...

Life is LOVE...
And where that is...
That's where is HOME...

"Love is life.

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.  Everything is, everything exists...only because I love..."

~ Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace.

Nine.

Kaden Quint.  My Firstborn.  My "Gentle One."
My boy who wears the meaning of his name so very well...
Happy Birthday, my Love.

Nine years ago today, you birthed me into motherhood; and you rocked my world in such a way that I have been forever changed -- and have never been the same since.  This is your last year of being in the single digits, Buddy...and that kind of makes my heart hurt just a little bit...

You are growing up, my Son.
And while I absolutely love watching all of your milestones tick off one after the other after the other....this whole growing bigger gig, really kind of slays me.  Methinks I'd best be getting used to it...

I love your love for the great outdoors!  I love how much you love to hunt and fish, to trap and explore.  I love your patience and your grace with your two younger brothers - and I especially love your tender care for London.  Most days around here, you are the one that helps to bring order out of chaos, you are the one who calms a potential argument between your siblings, and you are the one who shows kindness and gentleness - instantly diffusing a heated development that's about to take place.  I love that so much about you.  I see your mercy and your grace lived out daily...and I am so grateful to you for these things.

Your world is expanding, Kaden; and you are no longer a little boy.  You are growing, you are seeing things for yourself, and you are making many new friends.  I love watching this happen, and I love seeing the "big" boy that you are turning into.

And there are a few things that your Mama wants to tell you about all of this...

You are tender.  You are sensitive.  You are kind.  And you look out for the underdog.  Never lose those qualities, my Love.  They will serve you well for all of your days.  Never let anyone tell you that a man should only be "tough."  You watch your Daddy -- and learn that a real man is equal parts tough and tender.

Never be afraid to say you are sorry and to admit when you've been wrong.  It is always the right thing to tell the truth.  Just because everyone else is "doing" something - that doesn't make it right, and it doesn't mean that you have to follow the pack.  You do what you know - in your heart - is the right thing to do...even if that means doing it all by yourself.  Be bold, and take a stand.

But if you don't do this...and if you fail and if you fall...which you probably will sometime or another... never be afraid to come and talk to your Daddy and me about it.  We have fallen and failed too many times to count.  That's part of growing up, as well.  None of us ever stop growing in this arena.

And another thing:  even though it's fun right now to shoot your friends - who are girls - with nerf guns....and even though - right now - they may find it fun and funny, as well.... Mama wants you to treat your friends who are girls like ladies.  I want you to always be a gentleman, and I want you to treat every girl the way you would want some big boy treating your baby sister someday.  You won't always want to shoot them, just so you know...

You are my joy, Kaden, and I love you more than I ever knew was possible.  Thank you for your grace and your patience with me.  You - so much like your Daddy - detailed and precise.  And me - not nearly so exact or structured.  You roll with things so well.  You are so un-demanding and so very sweet when things don't go according to the "plan."  Thank you for your grace.  You teach me well.

 And so, on this your 9th birthday, there are so many things that I could say.  But mostly, I just want to thank you for being you.  And I want you to know how very much I love you.  I love your heart, I love your laugh, and I love your silly sense of humor.  I love your honesty, and I love your sweet, sensitive conscience.  I love your love for your friends and for your family.  And I love the great big boy that you are becoming.

And just like the verse that you quoted so loud and brave at the awana closing program, my prayer for you is the same:  "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul, and with all of your might."  Live those words, sweet boy...

Because He loves you.  Deeply and wildly...
And just like us..... He sees you, and He smiles.....

~ My firstborn.  Our Joy.
~ Sweet, gentle spirit.
~ Tender sibling love.
~ Quiet & thoughtful - Funny & silly.
~ Lover of Creation.
~ Tender with God's creatures.
~ Patient & Gracious.
~ Honest & Real.
~ Watching you grow - and the gift of being your Mama.
~ Hearing your heart.
~ Seeing you become more and more - so much like your Daddy.
~ Loving you - just the way you are - and feeling so very thankful and honored.
~ Remembering the baby who grew this girl into a woman.
~ Knowing the boy who squeezes my heart taut with love.
~ And praying for the man I see you becoming....

#5086-5100 ~ My Joy Journey

On Our Own.

London will be three weeks old on Thursday...and yet today was the very first day of my being home alone as a Mama of four.  And I am fully aware of how spoiled I was this time around.  Mom and Dad took the three larger Hoolies up home for an entire week when she was first born, so that I could have that time to get to know her, to rest up, and to savor her...which I totally did.  And then, when Mom brought them back to me, she stayed another week with us and was just an awesome presence in both "mothering" me and "grandmothering" all of my babies.  She cooked, she cleaned, she loved on babies, and she was also able to be a part of the kids' AWANA Grand Prix car races, their AWANA closing program, AND their epic birthday bash of redneck gloriousness.

And so today, with London already being at the ripe old age of 13 days, we began the journey of our "new normal."  And it wasn't half bad - despite the fact that from 1:00 a.m. on last night, she decided to wake up every hour and a half right up until 7:00 a.m.  It was awesome.  And I could hardly peel my eyes open when Kev left for work this morning.  He leaned over and kissed me good-bye and asked in a worried voice:  "Are you overwhelmed?"  I believe it would have taken far too much brain power to be overwhelmed....so I went with:  "No...just...tired."

Like semi-truck-just-ran-over-me - tired.
However, one very bold cup of coffee later (thank you, dear cousin Jodi, for the Balzaks), and some glorious sunshine outside to boot -- and the day went pretty swimmingly, if I do say so myself.

Although, she did holler bloody murder while I was trying to get my bread out of the oven first thing this morning.  To which Jesse said in an anguished voice:  "Mama - please go and get her.  My heart is just breaking!"  To which I replied:  "Mama has only two hands...that's all God gave me...and both are being used right now.  She will not die, I assure you.  And you'll probably be hearing a whole lot more of where that came from in days to come."  However....once the bread was out, the baby was brought down, she was amply loved upon, and all was once again right in the world - as far as babies and blonde big brothers were concerned...

More pets.
Joy unspeakable and full of glory...

And for our big doings on this our first day home alone all together, we had her have her first debut in the Snugli for our 2 mile walk that we take most days - down a sweet little development that dead end's at a fun little bog.  It's a little boy's paradise.  And whilst her brothers biked and ran, and caught tadpoles and frogs, ate snacks and ran wild - she snoozed on.

All the way down and all the way back.
It was a good day.

We shall see what fun doings tonight has in store for us....

Happy Hurricane...er..."Birthday Party."

 Welp.

Without fail, every single birthday of my big boys' life - save maybe one or two - we have had not just rain, but torrential rain for their celebration.  And every year, we have just decided to roll with it, adopting our family motto of:  "It is what it is."

There's something about Memorial Day Weekend that brings the water.
I guess it's better than bringing the blackflies....
Now, there's the optimism we're looking for!

However.

This year, with a two week old baby, I just didn't have it in me to do the whole travel to a State Park and tent in the rain for three days.  So, instead, we brought the party to our backyard for the day...

Above:  A visual of what it did all day...
Below:  With gale force winds added in for extra funsies...

Thar she blows!!!

And so, we started the celebrating with all of the boys tenting out in the backyard overnight - amidst the rain and the tarp flap flapping against the sides of their tent because of the crazy winds.  Apparently, the Littles woke up around 4:00a.m., went out and set their squirrel traps at 5:30, and bombed inside by 6:00.

Mom, London, and I "camped" inside for the night...and were ready with a big breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs for when the Hoolies bombed in first thing the next morning.

Mmmm.  Dee-lish.

A meal that takes 2.5 seconds to inhale by the men in my house...
We were going to eat breakfast outside, as well -- but I decided that for at least one meal, I wanted to be dry.  And warm.  And cozy.  And dry...

And so - breakfast was inhaled.  Inside.
And then, gifts from us and the grandparents were opened.  Inside.

And then...
The tarp setting up party of glorious fun and amazing awesomeness began in earnest.  Outside.
For like hours.
On end.

Because things kept blowing away......
And landing way up in the trees...

I must say - everyone had pretty good spirits about the whole thing.
Especially me.  Because I was still inside.  And dry.  And cozy. And dry.
So, I found things to be hilarious.

And this picture?  I love.

This image - minus the drill and poncho - is the image that I grew up seeing in my kitchen back home just about every day of life.  And this image is the one that I want my four Littles to grow up seeing and saying:  "Grooooossss!" to but with the biggest smiles ever and twinkles in their eyes....because you know they secretly love seeing it, and you know it makes them feel safe and secure knowing that you two love each other so much.....and you know this because you did the same exact thing when you saw your parents kissing -- but you secretly loved it, too.

Anyway....back to the birthday of Redneck Gloriousness...

And so --
After hours of tarp setting up...what we ended up with was a tarp over the porch, so that I could at least lay out all of the foodies, and a tarp to the left of the garage with a wee little fire pit made so that the kids could at least roast their hotdogs...amidst the growing pond of water that also kept accumulating over there...

And then, we spent the rest of our day in the garage.
That's right.
Because who doesn't want to celebrate their birthdays in the abyss of a trashed garage?
That's what I thought.
Man - those kids were lucky, weren't they?

And we spent our time eating...visiting...and playing crazy Minute to Win It games.
Girls against boys, of course.
And the boys kind of took it away....

Behold, I give you the "Tissue Pull."
The girls took this one.

We played until London woke up and needed to be fed, and then when I went inside Kev and Dad took over the festivities.  Kev set off a whack of fire crackers, the boys went and trashed the already soaking wet tent, and the girls helped Dad make some campfire fudge.

Ooooooh, Heaven in a pan, Baby.
This is the only thing in the world that I am addicted to.
I do believe I partook of about 10 pieces yesterday.
And I wonder why the scales haven't moved one ounce since my Mama has been here...

And so, we rounded off the day with cupcakes and ice cream cake....with cowboy coffee and fudge...with candy and junk galore.  The kids went home soggy and wet - but they were troopers and fantastic sports about the whole "adventure."  And my boys crashed for the night around 6:00 p.m.  They were gone...

And London?
Well, her day pretty much consisted of this.
She had it rough.

And I went to sleep with visions of little girl tea parties swirling in my head for when London is old enough for birthday parties of her own.  Inside birthday parties.  That are dry.  And cozy.  And warm.

And dry.

Birthday Party Prep.

A Story:

Once upon a time...

Well, actually, every year around Memorial Day time - to celebrate the birthdays of our two oldest Hoolies - our family's tradition has always been to go tenting for the long week-end.  We started this celebration when Jesse was two and when Kaden was five...and have been doing it every year since.

And just about every. single. year. we have experienced heavy, torrential rain for just about their entire tenting birthday weekend.  And it has been awesome.

New rainjackets.  Also a birthday gift tradition.  Per pure necessity.

In all honesty - everyone, including both sets of grandparents who come along and celebrate with us, have been incredible troopers about the whole thing...and really, all in all - we've made some pretty fun (and hilarious) memories over the years.

I can remember our very first year of this "tradition."  The forecast had predicted "heavy rain" starting around noontime.  So.... we loaded up our gear, and our goal was to get to the campsite and be completely set up before the rain ever hit us.  And we made it just in the nick of time.  So, while the Littles were resting in the tent waiting for Grampy and Grammy to arrive, Kev and I were hundled under our canopy, sipping camp coffee, with a little smudge of a fire under the tarp -- in our winter jackets, no less -- and Kev said:  "We will have as much fun as we want to have this weekend.  If the boys see that we're having fun, then they will have fun.  If they see us miserable - they're going to be miserable."

And it was true.
And so we made the best of it.

I had about ten changes of clothing per day for my two year old, because he chose to stomp in every single puddle that was accessible -- and he chose to stand directly under the run-off from all of the tarps -- just as soon as he was dry.... but we honestly, did make the best of it.

And our motto for the weekend became (about every single thing):  "It's no big deal."
You're soaking wet and freezing?  It's no big deal!
You just fell face first into a puddle?  It's no big deal!
You just made off with my entire cup of camp coffee and drained the entire thing?  It's. no. big. deal....

And so, here we are again, year five of this rainy weekend birthday party tradition extravaganza....aaaaaand sure as shootin' the weather is predicting a 70% chance of rain for all day tomorrow.

Joy unspeakable and full of glory.

 The boys begged and begged to go camping again this spring....but this Mama does have her limits.  London just turned two weeks old yesterday, and while I do believe the younger they are the easier it is to cart them anywhere -- the idea of three days and nights of being perpetually damp and soggy just did not appeal to me this year.

I must be getting old.

And so, we have compromised.

We be having a backyard camping weekend this year.  But Mama be having a "sleep in her own bed with London in the Moses basket beside her kind of nights."  We will still play outside all the live long day tomorrow.  Dad and Kev will be rigging up tarps all over the yard.  We'll be having cowboy coffee, campfire fudge, pudgy pies, bacon over the open fire, cowboy bread pizza, smores, and hotdogs.  We'll play some crazy Minute to Win It games, and the kids will run wild - and wet - and free...

But the Mama....

She'll be staying warm and dry.  

For the nighttimes anyway.

The BOYS Are Back in Town...

Friday night brought Grampy and Grammy back to the ranch with the van loaded to the hilt with our BOYS.
Super excited to see their sister again, Boys.
Over the top happy to be HOME again, Boys.

And while we have entered an entirely new level of CRAZY in this house....OH. My. Word.....the love that these three boys have for their baby sister is really just the most adorable thing ever.  And while, at times, it's actually a little bit over the top...it really is just precious.

Kaden keeps saying:  "She is just SO precious.  Even when she cries, she's cute, isn't she?"
And Jesse says:  "I am WILD to hold her!"  (Meaning, he can hardly wait his turn).
Right now, Ransom is content to kiss her on top of the head whenever he walks by, and calls it good.
And sometimes, he even likes to give her "five kithes."

Mama likes to "fo-hawk" her hair.
The boys like to keep it flat.

"Here's five kithes for my baby London Faith...."
And off he goes to play his trains....

This is them the very first night they got home.
Taking turns holding her...oohing and aaahing.
Commenting on how "tiny she is!"
Saying "Pink is a really good color for her....because she's a girl, and all...."

 And this is pretty much what little London's day looks like.....

 It is very, very hard to be a baby.....

In this picture....both she and Jesse are sleeping.  Most precious thing ever.
Grammy was beside herself worrying that London would slide right out of his sleeping arms...

And so now we have established some ground rules:

~ When her eyes are closed - they are closed for a reason.  They are NOT to be pried open.
~ When she is sleeping in her Moses basket upstairs, she does NOT need to be checked on.
~ When she is melting down in the evenings...she doesn't really want to be "loved on" right then.
~ Anytime after 7:00 a.m. the Hoolies may come upstairs for London snuggles.  Before then, she is sleeping.
~ Only Kaden may carry her down the stairs....and this is only when Daddy and Grammy aren't looking. :0)

And when she is alert and happy...snuggle away...for as long as she can take it.

This girl - oh goodness - she will be well loved.

She is already...

A big huge brother with his baby sister...oh goodness.

Melt my heart to pieces.

And so here we are, a family of six.

Crazy.