Today you are three.
And my heart feels just a little bit broken over just how quickly these three years have flown.
It's like I blinked, and now you're a real little girl.
It's crazy how life happens...
I can remember clear as can be, the day we found you that you were going to be a GIRL. I remember all five of us crammed into that little ultrasound room. I remember telling the doctor that I didn't want to know the gender unless she could stake her life on not being mistaken. You were the very first baby where Daddy said he kind of hoped that it would be a little girl, so when she told us for 100% certain that this was indeed what you were going to be, I remember this sweet, gentle smile that crept over his face at the news. I remember Kaden exclaiming: "Hey! You changed your recipe!" And Jesse's confused: "Well, what are we going to do with a GIRL?!?"
And I remember crying.
I remember the fear and the uncertainty of this new adventure I was about to take; and I remember being certain that God knew what He was doing in always only giving me all boys. I was raised with boys. I always played with boys. I understand boys. And I am surely not a girly girl. I knew for certain that God wouldn't give me any girls, because I was afraid of them and knew that I would ruin their delicate emotions. I was not made for anything fragile.
But, then He gave me You, and thus began my Journey of trust.
And of wonder.
And of this deep, new Joy in learning the world of wee baby girls.
From the get-go, you were wild.
You were my ONLY baby that gave me a false alarm pre-run visit to the hospital.
You literally made me queasy with your somersaults inside of me.
And you have always been my earliest riser of them all.
You live life loud and wild, and you are as crazy as all three of "your boys" combined. True story.
And it kind of delights me.
You love nothing more than to be in a dress... outside....hair flying wild in the breeze...filthy face...skinned up knees...with a chicken or a duck under your arm. You want to do whatever your boys are doing, and you are fearless. I love that about you. I love your crazy, and I love your sweet. You are strong-willed, sweet girl. Probably, my strongest of them all. And I pray that you will stay strong. I pray that you will stay fearless. I pray that you will stay loud and wild about all of the things that you should. I pray that you will grow to love Jesus with ALL of your heart. I pray that you will watch your Daddy and your boys, and that you will let them protect you and treat you like a lady. Even now, I pray for your future husband...that you will wait for each other...and that God will continue to prepare you for each other.
Sound crazy with you only being three?
Well, I blinked and lost three years already...I'll blink again one day, and you'll be gone.
And so today, I slow down and I savor the gift that is You.
Sweet London Faith - namesake of our Mamas - you have broken and re-made me.
You have been my undoing, my remaking, and my gift.
You have been the Joy of our Home, and you have expanded our hearts and our lives.
You have made me slow and see...and you have caused me to cautiously love the color Pink.
I love your sense of humor and your love for your boys.
I love how you have accepted as your birthright, the lavish love of four smitten Hoolie men.
I love watching you with your Daddy - His gentle love for you, and his delight in a daughter.
I love your kisses and your hugs...and how some days I think you'd crawl back inside me if you could. You are bonded to me, and we KNOW each other.
I love how you have made me grow, and how you have completed our family.
You are well loved, little girl.
This you know full well.
And I love you more than words can say. I'm so thankful that God knows better than me.
We will learn together, you and I.
We will write this story of womanhood together.
It will be good, and it will begin again and again each morning when I walk into your room to the yells of: "Maaaaamaaaa!! Where ARE you?!"
Each day, when you open your arms wide to me and to your Daddy, to your boys, and to your duckies...we will begin afresh and anew. Because His mercies are new every morning, and because God is faithful. I am imperfect, sweet Love...and I will make a whole lot of mistakes. I'm still learning this Ministry of Motherhood. I'm still walking uncertain and unsure. But, my love for you is wild and true.
I love the adventure of us.
I love the challenge of learning a little girl.
I love that you have four big protectors, and I already feel badly for the boy who catches your eye one day. I lived that, too, with only brothers and a big Daddy. It was kind of fun. And frustrating, too. But mostly fun.... Dad showed an unused bullet to one of my suitors and said he surely hoped he'd never have to use it. It mortified me. And it made me feel safe. That's what you've been born into, sweet Love. You'd best embrace it and just go along for the ride.
Happy 3rd Birthday, London!
How we love you!