One of THOSE Days...

Today I had a new favorite verse:

"Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. Behold, I would wander far away. I would lodge in the wilderness. I would hasten to my place of refuge." ~ Psalm 55:6,7

Oh yes. That sounds just lovely.
I shall take two of those please, with some extra sleep, and a heaping side of sanity. Hold the chaos...

* * * * *

Today was hairy. With a capital H.

The combination of too many late nights, too many naps that were talked through instead of slept through, and way too many crack 'o dawn mornings, culminated into a bit of a weepy, whiney, listless day for all three of my boys.

And here I sit with my hair still up in clips from my waittressing shift from last night and the essence of seafood still whafting from my pores. Today, the house was a mess, I had no plan for supper, and I think I could plant a garden, right now from the dirt collecting on my floors.

A ravishing picture, to be sure.
These days are not my favorite.

Days of frazzled Mama's and fragile little boys.
Days where words were more clipped and far more harsh than what was necessary.
Days where the countdown to naptime was more precious than the hours leading up to it.
Days where grace was more of an idea than a true actuality.
And days where hearts got hurt, because Mama didn't take the time to see more deeply.

And now I remember what I said I wouldn't forget:
"We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing." ~ Psalm 39:6

* * * * *

Today was a day of spiritual Alzheimer's.
Always forgetting. Always rushing. Always frustrated.
Joy stealers, those three things.
Seeing only glimpses of grace; and focusing on the chaos rather than the sacred.

Today I was tired, and proud, and weary... and small.

But isn't it true that "all wonder and worship can only grow out of smallness?" ~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

We have to get out of the way of ourselves first, right - before anything great can happen?
And we have to decrease, so that He can increase...

Well, I'm already feeling small, so that's at least a start...

"To receive God's gifts, to live exalted and joy filled, isn't a function of straining high, harder, doing more, carrying long the burdens of the super-Pharisees or ultra-saints. Receiving God's gifts is a gentle, simple movement of stooping lower." ~ One Thousand Gifts.

Yes, today was a bit of a bomb in Mother-land.
But, the day is not over, and His mercies are always new.

There is still time.
After all ---

"God created the world out of nothing, and as long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us." ~ Martin Luther.

That sounds good to me.
There is joy in the acquiescing.
Yes, Lord. I need you.
Your strength is perfect in my weakness. I know this.
Help me to remember.

"Blessed be the Lord who daily bears our burden." ~ Psalm 68:19
* * * * *

2256. Friends who walk through "those days" alongside me.
2257. Long, needed naps.
2258. Decreasing, so that He can increase.
2259. Stormy weather to make us slow.
2260. A few quiet days ahead.
2261. Lessons learning. And relearning.
2262. Grace given and received - me for them, and them for me.
2263. Exercise to clear the brain.
2264. Showers to wipe off work.
2265. Cozy fires.
2266. Soft p.j.'s holding squirmy bodies.
2267. Smiles after naptime; rest in their eyes.
2268. Five of us - crazy; but happy at dinner, all together.
2269. Take out pizza. My rescue.
2270. Rachael's pictures - chronicalling my life.
2271. Letting go.
2272. Tomorrow's promise - fresh and new.
2273. A clean slate. Again.
2274. A gentle Daddy, perceptive husband, exhausted himself.
2275. A peaceful, sleeping house right now.