Moving Forward.

A new calendar is up on my wall - fresh and blank - with its days ready to be filled in once again, as we take another new spin around the Sun.  For me at least, fresh starts and new beginnings always tend to bring about reflection and deeper thought.  I have flipped pages twelve times already...and now it's time to do it again.  Hard to believe, really.

I find that facebook status updates from friends have more depth these first few days of the new year, as well.  We all become more reflective - more thoughtful - as we try to encapsulate 365 days into one or two concise sentences that give a nice, round review of what last year was like for us.  2012 for some, held deep pain and heavy loss.  For others, it brought new life and fresh changes.  And for many - if not most - it brought a little bit of both, perhaps.  I think that no matter how the year panned out...twelve months of living life with all of its joys and heartaches - with chapters of both happy and crappy, and with seasons of living and others of maybe just barely surviving...life - for all of us - can't ever be summed up in just a matter of sentences.

It's too complex.

I think that's why I hate summary posts and why I shy away from sweeping statements that are intended to cover the whole of a life.

This past year I had some shining moments as a mother...and others where I was a mess.
There were months when life was full and fulfilling...and there were seasons of significant pain.
There were times when I had the patience of Job...and others where it resembled something more along the lines of a rabid dog.
Times when I was happy, secure, and content....and times when comparison took it all away.
Times when I didn't have a care in the world as to what people thought of us and of the decisions we were making...and times when people's words and actions kind of sidelined us for a bit.
Times where I have filled little love tanks...and times, like today, where I have crushed spirits with my careless words and thoughtless actions....

Times of good and times of really bad.
Time of joy and times of pain.
Time of grace and times of rashness.
New chapters and fresh beginnings...right along with a whole lot of the same old, same old.

That's life.
And I wonder just how powerful "perspective" is in all of it...

I came across a verse today that just might be my theme for this new year.
It's actually kind of a creepy "stand alone" verse.
II Peter 2:19 ~ "By what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved."
Kind of morbid, really...

But when I backtrack up to the chapter previous... I see the promise that Christ's "divine power has granted to us everything {we could possibly need} pertaining to life and godliness...and if we apply diligence in our faith, moral excellence, knowledge and self-control, perseverance and godliness, brotherly kindness and love.....as long as we practice these things, we will never stumble."

And God is gracious.
He asks us to "practice" them...not necessarily "perfect" them.
He knows we are dust.

And I wonder...if these "practices" could become the theme of my life...might I become "enslaved" to these very qualities in which I am often so sorely lacking?  Could I become so "over"-come by these qualities that I could maybe trade out....

comparison for contentment?
joy for jealousy?
grace for legalism?
an on-fire faith and godliness for lazy apathy?
self-control for anything but that?
kindness and love in exchange for biting words and harshness that causes little hearts to bleed raw?

I wonder...

In the midst and the mess of the mundane and the chaos that will surely have their moments of reigning supreme in this next year....amidst the dishes and the laundry....and the perpetual ordering and re-ordering of our lives...in the midst of these days of raising crazy, messy boys.... in the thick of plugged potties and kitchen spills...of faltering attempts at homeschooling...of working to slow and to see and to find each day's sacred joys smack in the middle of the mess and the busted up attempts of a woman walking raw...

...and in the re-learning of life and routine that will come with a new baby and a brand new job for Kev...
I whisper with the blind beggar, "Lord, I want to see." (Luke 18:41)
Might I be "overcome" with the things of You...."enslaved" by Your Grace, alone...

#4221.  A year of grace - a year of gifts.
4222.  A year of growing, of learning, and of letting go.
4223.  A season of soul surgery.
4224.  Leaps of faith - and taking risks....and yet, with Jesus nothing is ever a risk...
4225.  New beginnings - baby and job...and a brand new year with a fresh, clean slate.
4226.  Forgetting those things which are behind...
4227.  Family - mothers, fathers, brothers, cousins - and no-matter-what-unconditional-love
4228.  A home messy and imperfect - and one that hears "I am sorry," often.
4229.  Three boys - living and learning life together.
4230.  Jesus - tugging, ever faithful, drawing me always to Himself.

~ My Joy Journey ~