As kids - and with our youth group, back in the day - we used to play that game for hours. And the crazier the scenarios that we could make up - the better the game was played.
Would you rather have three nostrils or a two foot long tongue?
Would you rather have perpetual gas or the world's worst breath?
Would you rather have a persistant booger always showing or uncontrollable body odor?
You get the idea.
And then we'd get a little more serious.
Would you rather lose your eyesight or your hearing?
Would you rather be wheel-chair ridden or not have any arms?
Would you rather die by drowning or by fire?
Concepts maybe a little less pleasant to think about.
For the past week or so - as we have been ticking down the days to London's ultrasound - that game has been playing round and round in my head....many a night I would go to sleep with scenarios spinning and wake up with the same game on repeat.
Would you rather have a "normal," "healthy" baby like your others or one with an extra chromsome?
Easy answer. No brainer.
But, in the light of so many of our friends who are living such pain as of late - I couldn't help but play the game from their point of view.
Would I rather have a baby born with Down Syndrome or one that is daily fighting leukemia?
Would I rather have a baby born with that one extra chromosome or one whom I will bury in a grave?
Would I rather have a baby that's just a wee bit different in society's eyes or never be able to carry one at all?
These are the lives our loved ones are daily living - right now.
These are the hands that have been dealt to each one of them.
And these are the scenarios that were on replay in my mind these many days and weeks.
Perspective is a powerful thing.
If the outcome hadn't been the good news that we were hoping for...in the grand scheme of things...it still wouldn't have been horrible. There still could have been many things far worse. Would I have been able to see that? Would I have been brave enought to realize? I hope I would have...
And I was reminded of the quote: "One act of thanksgiving when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations." ~ Saint John of Avila
Yesterday was an easy thanks.
Yesterday it was easy to say that "God is good."
Yesterday it was easy to sing "Blessed be Your name..."
But, I see friends daily living the hard thanks...daily choosing to set aside the bitterness..the gnawing anger...and the forever questions of "why"....boldly choosing to daily see through the heart-aching mess of the place that they are in to bravely say that God is indeed good, that He can be trusted, and that His intention has never been to set out to orchestrate our ruin.
I don't know why our outcome was happy and why others has been so painful.
I don't know why God "allowed" this verdict to be positive while He has "allowed" others to be so awful.
I also don't know when the day will come when He may ask us to bear our own difficult crosses.
And maybe the secret is in the accepting that there are things that we will never ever understand.
But He does.
And He is indeed still on the throne.
And one day, He will wipe every tear from our eyes.
He will make all things new.
And when I watch my friends live their daring and vulnerably raw and real lives in front of the rest of us - for all to see and witness- I am humbled. And my prayer is that throughout this fleeting blink of a life - this vapor of a time spent on this side of Eternity - I might do the same with my own story.
That I might live the secret:
"The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live...He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: giving thanks for everything." ~ Albert Schweitzer
Jesus knew the secret...
"Who...for the joy that was set before Him...endured the cross......"
Might I learn it as well.
Thank you dear friends, for teaching me...
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
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