Something from Nothing.

Up until naptime yesterday, we had ourselves the makings for a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" recipe in the works around here. Nothing overly epic or awful - just a whole lot of little things that were "off" and were quickly compiling together like a ticking time bomb - just waiting for an explosion...most likely from the Mama. For whatever reason, Ransom had a rough night the night before, and then he was up for the day at crack of dark-thirty, so both of us were bleary-eyed and whiney all day. The two big boys still aren't rested and completely back on par from being away for a week, and we have had a few really late nights in a row around here. All of those things just sort of culminated together yesterday, and by 10:30 in the morning, I just cut my losses, willingly admitted defeat, and threw all of my day's strategy and agenda to the wind. The two oldest ran wild and free outside, I drank an entire pot of coffee, Ransom and I read some stories, we had toast for lunch, and all were down for naps by noon.

We survived...just barely by the hairs of our chinny chin chins. And today we shall start afresh and anew...equally bleary-eyed, but maybe just a little bit less whiney. That's my goal, anyway.

I asked Kev this morning at breakfast if he ever has days where he just feels aimless. It's not that I don't have anything that needs to be done around here - it's just that I don't feel like doing any of them. You know, things like feeding my children, doing that mountain of laundry, taking a shower, whipping out the math books, or planting my garden. I'd rather just sit right here on my rump, have another cup of joe, and read about all of the exciting things that the rest of the world is doing - thus sinking myself even further into the state of apathy and slothfulness that I am already feeling... And then I remember that He must increase, and I must decrease. He wants my knees bent far more than He wants my lists completed. He fills the common days just as full as the newsy dramatic. And joy is found in the acquiesing - in the emptying of my will to His own.

I once read a quote that said: "True greatness is found in helping others who can do nothing for you in return." Hmn. That sounds an awful lot like motherhood, doesn't it? The feeding, the bathing, the cleaning, the laundering, - the perpetual bringing order from chaos. This "ministry of the mundane" is the ministry of motherhood. And we are not the first to have emptied ourselves. We have the footsteps of the Ultimate Parent to follow. And today I am thankful for this truth: "God created the world out of nothing, and as long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us." ~ Martin Luther.

You go, Martin. Rock on, brother.