Did you know that a nurse's health study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women have, the less likely they are to develop physical impairments as they age, and the more likely they are to be leading joyful lives?
The results were so significant that the researchers concluded that not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight. (Boy-sterous Living, by Jean Blackmer)
Crazy, right?
In my humble, not-nearly-so-scientific opinion, I would also add (or argue) that it might not be merely the quantity of friends a woman has so much as the quality and depth of those relationships in her life.
And I wonder how often we fail to go deep and we fail to touch the heart of matters and choose instead to focus on the trivial and the petty - and the insignificant as opposed to the deeper, weighty heart issues of life?
How often do we feel threatened, so instead of being vulnerable we put up a shield?
How often do we get competative, so instead of rejoicing in others' successes, we would rather search for other flaws?
How often do we worry about what others think so much that we fake perfection instead of sharing struggles and insecurities?
How often do we compare instead of just loving and accepting the differences for what they are - just that. Only differences.
And how often do we only hang out with those of completely like-mindedness, because - Heaven forbid we might find out that our way is not the only way to do something...
Or is it just me who plays that game?
I think that it's good - healthy even - to surround myself with other women who might not think just like I do --- godly women who might have differing ideas and opinions on child-rearing, church, schooling, and politics! Because, if I intentionally only choose to be around people who think exactly like I do, well then I just might stay forever happy in my own little delusions of how I think life ought to operate itself. And even more important than that maybe, is the fact that I never ever want to alienate a friend for thinking a little differently about something than I do. I never want to be threatened by a simple difference of opinion on a matter where there is such a wealth of depth and intimacy that could be had otherwise.
Because the truth is - most issues of life and love and family and whathaveyou ARE deeply personal issues that husbands and wives and families discuss and determine amongst themselves. But if we are going to go anywhere or have any sort of depth whatsoever with a kindred spirit outside of our own four walls, well that's going to involve a little bit of vulnerability. And unconditional love. And acceptance. No matter what. I will never see completely eye to eye with any one of my friends. Heck - I don't see eye to eye with my own husband on some matters. But, I love him unconditionally and I accept every bit of him.
And that's the kind of friend that I want to be to the women that God has placed in my life. And goodness knows, I want to be loved and accepted for the woman that I am and for the opinions that I have. It's the least that I can do to extend that same courtesy.
* * * * *
2636. Iron sharpening iron in my own life.
2637. Friends from all walks of life.
2638. Taking risks - being vulnerable.
2639. Walking life together - sharing the journey.
2640. Celebrating differences.
here here! :)
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