In the Dark.

The house is still, and the sky's still dark.

I hear their songs softly playing behind their closed doors, but aside from those muffled sounds, everything around me is completely quiet.

Save the whirlwind of my thoughts.

Right now, the house is mine.
I have maybe sixty minutes, and I'd better use them wisely.

My tea sits beside me - piping hot the way I like it.
And my Bible sits unopened - waiting for my eyes and heart to turn downward to read the life words, instead of staying inward at my thoughts.

My mind is scattered today, to say it best.
Self-absorbed...to say it honestly.

I sit here thinking of the laundry that needs folding, the dishes that need to be unloaded from the dishwasher, the exercise that needs to take place, the schooling that needs to happen, and the day that's about to awaken. I wonder what's happening on facebook, should I check my email - just a peek?, and what in the world will I feed these boys for breakfast? We're out of milk, and Ransom ate the last peice of bread yesterday.

The minutes are ticking by.

I think of this month's prayer letter that I just wrote to our supporters on living "sent lives" while still in the comforts of home, and think I much prefer my sweet, self-absorbed life that I can completely control -- my life of entitled stagnance, living bubbled days of peaceful mediocrity.

Comfort will always be my default of choice.

I think how easy it is to be indifferent to all the world around me.
How often I choose to turn a blind eye to needs around me...
And how it's especially easy to do this while still sitting in the dark.

But, indifference leads to laziness.
And lazy gets real comfy.
And comfort makes us stagnant.
And things of stagnance have a stench.

I should know.
I go there far too often.

And I think how hard it is to hear His still, small voice above the chaos of this life.
This world of jaded brokenness, of pain, and messy lives.

Am I using my time wisely, here?
Am I living as if today could be my last?
Or do I stay up here on my self-imposed throne of "me" because it's comfortable and safe, and because I like to be the author of my own agenda, and I don't really care to be called a "sojourner" or an "alien" in this world, in the first place.

I want to be comfortable.
I want the easy road.

I like it when it's quiet. When the world is all still dark.
But, this isn't the life that God has called any of us to.

Just as "The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood..." (John 1:14, The Message), He wants us to step down into the dirt and the mess, and to just get involved.

He wants me to play a role in His Story.
To consciously decide to offer to God my agenda in exchange for His plans.
To leave my self-absorbed world of "me" so that He can send me to extend His Kingdom.

You can see a lot better in the sunlight...or rather, in the "SON-light" once my Bible is finally opened...

"The Lord has called me to preach the good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners...to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve. To bestow on them beauty for ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead a spirt of righteousness." ~ Isaiah 61:1-4

All He wants is for us to be His tangible hands and feet for the world around us.
To live the good news.
Well, that's going to look a little differently than stinky mediocrity.
And it's surely not going to happen while still sitting in the dark.

But, anyone can do this...just so long as we are willing to get out of the way of ourselves. You don't need a college degree or a six figure income to love each other deeply.

That's the biggest challenge, right? Getting out of the way?
The Sun...it starts to rise.