Ebb and Flow.

Balance. I love that word.
And I think all of life just works better with a little bit of balance in it.

For the most part, I really love my job.
I love being a mother.
I love the activity, the busyness, and the almost incessant loudness and action that comes with the rhythm of our home.

But I also - and maybe even equally - love the times during my day when my house is quiet and there is silence while we are all in our separate quarters.

There are three times a day - with little exception - where there is quiet in my home. I get up in the morning while the entire house still sleeps and have about an hour to do whatever I need to do, depending on my level of coherance. (And if the hoolies happen to wake up early, I give them a snack and a stack of books to take back to bed with them until I am ready to begin our day). We have a 1 1/2 hour (minimum) quiet time in the afternoon every day, and then they are all in bed for the night by 7:00 or 7:30 each evening.

This is the rhythm of our life with very, very little exception.

Morning, noon, and night - three pockets of time - there is quiet and rest in my home where everyone has a break from each other, and where everyone recharges and refuels to be back together again on the flipside.

We don't waver much from this routine, either, because I often find that as soon as the system goes to pot -- so does the Mama. And that's no good for anyone.

I am fully convinced that the reason why I love being a mother so much, and why I like my kids as much as I do --- is because I have breaks in my day to recharge and refuel. I am certain that I enjoy my "job" as much as I do because I also know that every single day - for approximately two hours every afternoon, I am going to have a break from it! I can savor the time with my boys - I can pour out myself more easily, because I'm going to be poured into, in the afternoon.

There is balance.

I wonder if maybe sometimes we as mothers feel such things like: I need a break from my kids, or I can't see the light at the end of this tunnel, or I'm feeling hopeless, or I wake up every day angry at my kids, or I live for when they are asleep -- because we don't have those times of balance, that ebb and flow of giving and serving, and then recharging and refueling.

Does that sound bad? Selfish even?
Maybe. But, I honestly don't think so. Not for me, anyway.
This is just me keeping it real and knowing the triggers for what make me start to fall apart.
But, even Jesus took time away. Even Jesus needed to rest and refuel.

Silence and chaos.
Give and take.
Rowdy and rest.
Busy and slow.
Pour out, and be poured into.
Ebb and flow.

And I think the real ticket is in knowing ourselves and in knowing what we need as individual Mamas. While some thrive on - and even need - their babies to be with them at all times, and to even sleep with them at night --- I do not. In fact, I would probably have a full-blown freak fest if this were expected of me. So, the real key here - is in knowing what works for me, right? And in what works for you. And then, the even bigger ticket - is in not comparing, in not judging, and in doing what you need to do in order to be a good Mama. A healthy Mama. And a Mama who enjoys her babies.

I know that I need silence for when I start my day. And so I force myself to get up before they do. I know that I need a window of rest every afternoon. And so from the time they were babies - and for as long as I will homeschool - there will always be a pocket of rest time every afternoon. And the boys don't mind it. They have books, LeapPads, snacks, and stories on C.D. They enjoy this time, and it's good for them to have a break from each other for awhile, too. Plus, I am fully convinced that it's good for kids to learn to use their own imaginations and be able to play on their own for a period of time each day, as well. I think it's good for them. But that's just what works for me.

I think that motherhood is hard.
And I think that we make it even harder by pretending that it's so easy all of the time. Or that we have it all together, when we really don't.

We all need balance. We all need times of ebb and flow.
Some of us may need it more than others.
Some of us may have longer time frames before our nerves start to fray.
Some of us may need to have our babies with us more than others.
Some of us may need longer breaks away than others.
Some of us may have "easier" more "textbook" children.
And some of us may have downright hooligans.

But, we all have needs. And it's good to voice them. It's good to work through them. And it's always good to assess and reassess where we are at and what is out of balance. It's good to know ourselves.

And different stages of life - different chapters, will bring different needs and different plans, depending on the ages of our children. Right now, I am in the stage of my boys being up early and hitting the floor running...and not stopping until I stop them and declare a time-out....for all of us! So, this is the plan that works for us - for the here and now...at this stage of life.

I am a bear first thing in the morning, so the discipline of being up an hour before them makes me kinder. The required two hour rest in the afternoon makes me enjoy the time leading up to it and be totally okay with the chaos and pandemonium in the in between. And the early bedtime helps me to savor our suppertime and evenings together.

Required breaks make me better.
This is what works for me. This is the balance of my home.
Tell me....what works for you?