Spaghetti Sauce.

A step by step tutorial.

Step #1. Start with a large cooler full of ripe, red tomatoes. If you have none, call me, and I shall give you my leftovers. I am done. Kaput. That's all she wrote. Get thee behind me, tomatoes. They are yours for the taking...

Step #2. Use an apple peeler to core the tomatoes, and cut them into large-ish chunks, with the help of some pajama-clad deliciousness.

Step #3. Load up your stockpot, five or six tomatoes at a time - keeping it at a nice, steady boil the entire time.

Step #4. Boil your maters until they are all nice and soft - just a bunch of tomato goosh.

Step #5. Working in small batches, take your tomato puree and run it through a foley mill, or an applesauce mill if you have one. This will remove all of the skins and seeds - just leaving the juice and pulp. You don't really want the seeds in your sauce, as the longer your sauce sits, the more bitter it can become - because of the seeds. (So, the experts say. Is it the truth? I know not).

Step #6. Set your puree aside to cool a bit. Meanwhile, take some fresh herbs and spices - oregano, basil, and parsley for starters - and chop up as much as you'd like for your big vat of yum.

Step #7. Chop up whatever meat and/or veggies you'd like to go into your sauce, and sautee in some olive oil until nice and soft. I did mushrooms, onions, garlic, green peppers, summer squash, carrots, and zucchini.

Step #8. Throw everything back into your pot, along with some tomato paste, tons of cheese, some sea salt, and a bit of sugar if you so desire, and let it cook down, and down, and down for the rest of the afternoon.

Step #9. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, begin to clean up the atrocious mess that you may or may not have just made in your kitchen.

Step #10. Remind yourself that "haste makes waste" and work a little more slowly so as to avoid adding insult to injury.

Step #11. Think pleasant thoughts, and consider ordering take out for supper.

Step #12. When your sauce has boiled down at least a couple of inches, begin the taste test process and gather all the little hoolies to add their input of what might be needed to make said sauce just a wee bit more delish.

Step #13. Load up your pressure canner and process away for as long as your recipe dictates.

Step #14. Gather previously above mentioned hoolies to come and "ooh" and "aah" at all of your hard work and to extol the virtues of your awesomeness.

Step #15. Change your mind about take out, and instead boil up some noodles and have yourself some delicousness for supper.

Step #16. Remind yourself that you are done with your tomatoes...

Step #17. And then step away from the tomatoes.

Step #18. Or...ponder making homemade ketchup.....