Well, the forecast was right, my friends! Three out of the four days of our camping excursion, we had ourselves some RAIN! But, we planned accordingly, and overall, I think our little birthday adventure was a blazing success!
On our final shopping trip before we left, also known as the "junk food grocery trip" in Kaden's eyes, we walked through the aisles with the eyes of a family going off to battle. We splurged and bought ourselves a nice dining canopy that would cover our picnic table and all of our food and not fly away with the slightest of breezes. Whereas we normally pack all of our food etc. in cardboard boxes, I bought plastic tubs to store all of our dried goods in so that they could withstand torrential downpours. And the best purchases of all were two, matching, hooded rain slickers for the boys that went down to their knees!
I also packed three changes of clothes for them for each day knowing full well that Jesse would be wet and filthy the moment he stepped foot out of our tent.....and he was! I did complete changes of clothing first thing in the morning, before nap, and again before bedtime. In between those times, he was FILTHY and DRENCHED.....and happy as a lark! Sometimes, he would plop himself right down in a puddle on purpose, or stand himself directly under a waterfall coming off of one of our tarps!
We saw that the rain was predicted to come in around noon on Wednesday, so our goal was to get at our site around 10:30 and have an hour and a half to completely set up camp, eat lunch, and get the boys settled in for their naps. The Lord was gracious to us, and that is exactly what we managed to pull off before the rain came down in torrents!!!
While the boys slept, Kev and I sat under our canopy snuggled under a sleeping bag, with all of our warm clothes on, sipping camp coffee, and looked at each other - wondering why we were the ONLY ones at the ENTIRE Peaks Kenney campground! No joke!! We had the run of the place the entire week-end.
I'm not really sure why! Camp coffee is the BEST! :0)
In all honesty, it was in that moment that we both looked at each other and said: "This is fun, right? It is, isn't it?!!" And we decided then and there that if we were having fun, then they would have fun. So, I gave up praying for a heat wave and just went with the flow for the rest of the time!
That first night we gave them one of their gifts early - some new books - and we all went to bed at the same time and read by flashlight while listening to the rain - "God's lullaby" - drumming on our tent roof. Seriously. Does that not sound fun to you? It was a little chilly that night - we all slept with winter hats on - and eventually pulled Jesse into bed with us because he was cold in his pack and play. The other nights, though, were very mild and quite cozy.
Our parents came in on Thursday, and for a good part of that day we had some decent weather. They were all able to set up their sites, we even had some friends who lived in the area over for lunch, and Kaden was able to educate their three girls in the areas of all things slugs, worms, and salamanders. He was in his element!
And then, for the rest of the week-end, except for the day that we packed up to come home (of course!) we had torrents of rain! It did not phase my three boys in the least. We celebrated their birthday all week-end giving them little gifts here and there, and we just had a blast watching them run free and filthy!
We had a bug theme - of course! So, these were the little cupcakes in honor of Kaden...
We also had some wormy cakes - in honor of Jesse.....
I had little plastic bugs and salamanders and worms everywhere for the kids to play with.
I forgot to rotate this picture when I downloaded it, but to show you what a good sport my Mother is....We gave both boys some silly string for one of their gifts. Ahem.
And finally......
I give you "slug hands." The main theme of the week-end. Delish.
We had a nice, looooong, swim in the tub when we got home......
Drum Roll Please.........
Well, people!
The verdict is in!!! We had our almost two hour anatomy ultrasound today, and I had three techs and one M.D. stake their lives on what they were saying the sex of the baby is.
I said that I had no preference - I would be thrilled with either gender - but what I was concerned most about was them being WRONG. And let me assure you, it was abundantly clear!!! There are NO questions as to the gender of this wee one! I even asked for a 3D picture of his "tether region" just to be sure.
See for yourself. Ahem.
The picture is a little fuzzy, because it's a picture of a picture, so if you can't really tell what you're looking at - it's a bent leg with the arrow pointing at the evidence down by the foot - and if you still can't make it out, just let me assure you, our baby Def-in-itely-doo-dah does have himself some boy parts! The doctor kept commenting on how he was "showing off" and "you can take this one to the bank" and "there is NO chance that's a finger!"
Oh my!
Three boys. Wowsers. We are thrilled and so very thankful.
......and slightly overwhelmed!!!! Ha!
P.S. Kaden's boy name of choice: "Wilbur." Classic.
SO NOT happening, my Love.
The verdict is in!!! We had our almost two hour anatomy ultrasound today, and I had three techs and one M.D. stake their lives on what they were saying the sex of the baby is.
I said that I had no preference - I would be thrilled with either gender - but what I was concerned most about was them being WRONG. And let me assure you, it was abundantly clear!!! There are NO questions as to the gender of this wee one! I even asked for a 3D picture of his "tether region" just to be sure.
See for yourself. Ahem.
The picture is a little fuzzy, because it's a picture of a picture, so if you can't really tell what you're looking at - it's a bent leg with the arrow pointing at the evidence down by the foot - and if you still can't make it out, just let me assure you, our baby Def-in-itely-doo-dah does have himself some boy parts! The doctor kept commenting on how he was "showing off" and "you can take this one to the bank" and "there is NO chance that's a finger!"
Oh my!
Three boys. Wowsers. We are thrilled and so very thankful.
......and slightly overwhelmed!!!! Ha!
P.S. Kaden's boy name of choice: "Wilbur." Classic.
SO NOT happening, my Love.
Just In Case We Thought We'd Luck Out.....
In our most recent forecast check for our camping excursion this week-end, these are the three recurring statements that we keep reading:
"A series of storms will be moving through."
And -
"Very cool temps."
And my most favorite -
"Possible continuous rain."
Fantastic. Blessings upon us all. I'll see you all on Sunday....if I make it.
"A series of storms will be moving through."
And -
"Very cool temps."
And my most favorite -
"Possible continuous rain."
Fantastic. Blessings upon us all. I'll see you all on Sunday....if I make it.
Making Memories
My parents never had a lot of money growing up. We always lived paycheck to paycheck, but the bills always got paid and we always had yummy food on the table. Dad was - and still is - a school teacher and bus driver, and during the summers he did all sorts of odd carpentry jobs so that Mom could stay home with the three of us kids.
Anyway, because we never had a lot of money, our vacations always looked a little - shall we say - different than the rest of my friends. While many of my playmates went to Disney World during their long Memorial Day Week-ends and summer vacations....I tell you what - WE were making the rockin'est memories off all time and were establishing traditions that to this day, the three of us kids talk about.
And I would have it NO other way. I have NEVER wished for Disney. I will always want to relive the memories that my family made.
We didn't spend money on hotels - in fact, I can only remember staying in a hotel once when I was a kid. Instead, we went on adventures. One family tradition involved canoeing down the East Branch river every year - rain or shine - and hanging on for dear life while we flew down the rapids. For lunch, we'd stop along the riverbank and cook up a hotdog - sometimes we'd take a little dip - and then we'd continue on our merry way.
Dad gave each of us kids a 5-gallon dill pickle bucket that we could fill with whatever we needed for those few days, and these also doubled as our canoe seats. The kicker was that whatever clothes we put in said buckets would reek to high Heavens of dill pickles, so we all had a certain odor about us for that whole trip.
And if it rained - the trip was never cancelled. Dad would just give us each a "Hefty" trash bag - with holes cut out for our heads and arms, and we were good to go. He wasn't much for fussiness.
We would pitch our tents at days' end in some gravel pit, dig a hole whenever we needed to use the bathroom, and the river was our shower. I can remember one weekend while sleeping in a little pup tent with my cousin, being awakened in the middle of the night with a certain "floating sensation." There was a good foot of water in our tent, and we were completely drenched. Mom had mercy on us and stripped us down, bundled us in our winter jackets, and let us sleep the rest of the night in our car with the heater on.
Anyway, as we plan a tenting excursion for our boys this weekend to celebrate their birthdays, I am reminded of these memories that will be forever embeded in my brain. It's not really the super sunny, non-eventful trips that I remember. It's the ones that always carried a little dramatic flair to them. Those are the ones worth reminiscing about.
And that is my hope for my boys as we embark on a four day, three night camping adventure in which it predicts rain for every, single, blasted day that we will be gone. May my boys cherish these memories as I have done....at least they won't smell like dill pickles all week.
Anyway, because we never had a lot of money, our vacations always looked a little - shall we say - different than the rest of my friends. While many of my playmates went to Disney World during their long Memorial Day Week-ends and summer vacations....I tell you what - WE were making the rockin'est memories off all time and were establishing traditions that to this day, the three of us kids talk about.
And I would have it NO other way. I have NEVER wished for Disney. I will always want to relive the memories that my family made.
We didn't spend money on hotels - in fact, I can only remember staying in a hotel once when I was a kid. Instead, we went on adventures. One family tradition involved canoeing down the East Branch river every year - rain or shine - and hanging on for dear life while we flew down the rapids. For lunch, we'd stop along the riverbank and cook up a hotdog - sometimes we'd take a little dip - and then we'd continue on our merry way.
Dad gave each of us kids a 5-gallon dill pickle bucket that we could fill with whatever we needed for those few days, and these also doubled as our canoe seats. The kicker was that whatever clothes we put in said buckets would reek to high Heavens of dill pickles, so we all had a certain odor about us for that whole trip.
And if it rained - the trip was never cancelled. Dad would just give us each a "Hefty" trash bag - with holes cut out for our heads and arms, and we were good to go. He wasn't much for fussiness.
We would pitch our tents at days' end in some gravel pit, dig a hole whenever we needed to use the bathroom, and the river was our shower. I can remember one weekend while sleeping in a little pup tent with my cousin, being awakened in the middle of the night with a certain "floating sensation." There was a good foot of water in our tent, and we were completely drenched. Mom had mercy on us and stripped us down, bundled us in our winter jackets, and let us sleep the rest of the night in our car with the heater on.
Anyway, as we plan a tenting excursion for our boys this weekend to celebrate their birthdays, I am reminded of these memories that will be forever embeded in my brain. It's not really the super sunny, non-eventful trips that I remember. It's the ones that always carried a little dramatic flair to them. Those are the ones worth reminiscing about.
And that is my hope for my boys as we embark on a four day, three night camping adventure in which it predicts rain for every, single, blasted day that we will be gone. May my boys cherish these memories as I have done....at least they won't smell like dill pickles all week.
Halfway to Insanity
Well, we're at 20 weeks in this numero three pregnancy. Halfway. Hence the title. That's what Kev is starting to call it! Ha! He's probably right.....
I'm feeling good, though. Still very healthy. Bigger this pregnancy than the other two, but feeling strong. I love my midwives. I love the hospital that I'm going to deliver in. And I LOVE that we're going to find out what we're having on TUESDAY!!! Well, attempt to find out anyway.....if said baby cooperates. This will be the first pregnancy that we've ever decided to find out the sex of one of our babies. I'll let you know which way I enjoy more.
I have my names pretty solidified in my mind. Now, I must convince the hubby. That's the challenge. He's not overly set on either. But, I shall remind him after I do all of the laboring and delivering that I let him have "Jesse" last time, AND it is I that will be doing all of the laboring and delivering, after all! Just kidding. Seriously, I am. We've always said that we both will love the names that we choose......
but I really did give him Jesse....
In the past few days, we have entered a new era - one in which we lie awake in bed and formulate our game plan on how we are going to gain back control! The past couple of mornings, right out of the blue, who should stroll into our room with a "Hi, Dada! Hi, Mama!" but wee little Jesse Micah who has learned how to crawl out of his crib. Yesterday he walked in at 5:55. Fabulous.
And yesterday morning, we walked into the kitchen and discovered that he had dragged a chair over to our kitchen rack, climbed onto the top of that, and was standing on his tippy toes to reach the bananas that are about as high as the refrigerator. As he saw us enter the room, he nonchalontly held one out to us and innocently offered: "Nana?" Oh my.
So. Plans are in motion to conquer these new habits. I'll let you know how they go!
Today was glorious. We found a fun little beach about forty minutes away - right near Fort Knox - and we spent the day there playing in the water, exploring, having a picnic lunch, and getting sunburned. We topped the day off with an ice cream on the way home, hence some wound boys, therefore a no nap day, which leads to much necessary wild running outside which is okay because we're cleaning out our vehicles, which will lead to a super early bedtime, which will be glorious for Mommy and Daddy.
Aaaaaah, Summer.
I'm feeling good, though. Still very healthy. Bigger this pregnancy than the other two, but feeling strong. I love my midwives. I love the hospital that I'm going to deliver in. And I LOVE that we're going to find out what we're having on TUESDAY!!! Well, attempt to find out anyway.....if said baby cooperates. This will be the first pregnancy that we've ever decided to find out the sex of one of our babies. I'll let you know which way I enjoy more.
I have my names pretty solidified in my mind. Now, I must convince the hubby. That's the challenge. He's not overly set on either. But, I shall remind him after I do all of the laboring and delivering that I let him have "Jesse" last time, AND it is I that will be doing all of the laboring and delivering, after all! Just kidding. Seriously, I am. We've always said that we both will love the names that we choose......
but I really did give him Jesse....
In the past few days, we have entered a new era - one in which we lie awake in bed and formulate our game plan on how we are going to gain back control! The past couple of mornings, right out of the blue, who should stroll into our room with a "Hi, Dada! Hi, Mama!" but wee little Jesse Micah who has learned how to crawl out of his crib. Yesterday he walked in at 5:55. Fabulous.
And yesterday morning, we walked into the kitchen and discovered that he had dragged a chair over to our kitchen rack, climbed onto the top of that, and was standing on his tippy toes to reach the bananas that are about as high as the refrigerator. As he saw us enter the room, he nonchalontly held one out to us and innocently offered: "Nana?" Oh my.
So. Plans are in motion to conquer these new habits. I'll let you know how they go!
Today was glorious. We found a fun little beach about forty minutes away - right near Fort Knox - and we spent the day there playing in the water, exploring, having a picnic lunch, and getting sunburned. We topped the day off with an ice cream on the way home, hence some wound boys, therefore a no nap day, which leads to much necessary wild running outside which is okay because we're cleaning out our vehicles, which will lead to a super early bedtime, which will be glorious for Mommy and Daddy.
Aaaaaah, Summer.
Little Boys' Paradise
Today was.
Well - except for the ATROCIOUS black flies that almost ate us alive.
We decided to go on another crazy family adventure and check out some place that Kev's friend told him about where there is potentially great fishing to be had and a super fun place to take our family. I have not a clue where we ended up, but it truly was an adventure!
We loaded the car with all the necessities: bug dope, camel back for our water, wellies, fishing poles, spare clothes for kidlets, fire wood, hotdogs, and buckets and nets for potential treasures.
And then we drove. And then we got lost. And then we ended up on some dirt road in the middle of nowhere for a few miles. Then we parked and hiked about a half mile UP a trail through the woods - backpacking Jesse and our stuff - trying to avoid patch upon patch of poison ivy...all the while getting somewhat eaten alive, but not too bad.
And THEN - out of nowhere - we ended up at this gorgeous pond with firepit already built and a little peice of Heaven on Earth where we kicked it for the day! The boys got thoroughly drenched while exploring and playing in the water. We fed them a horrific lunch of hotdogs, chips, and M&M's. And we found a treasure trove of little boy wonders!!!
* Tons of minnows - almost all of which Jesse killed by continuing to hold them.
* Several frogs.
* Two leeches - which Jesse tried to kiss - which I quickly put the kibosh to.
* TONS of minnow eggs - Oh! This was so exciting for me!!!
* And the kicker - a snake that was eating a frog when I picked it up! How COOL is that?!!!! He dropped the frog as soon as I grabbed him, and Kaden was a little distressed that the frog might be dead but equally excited at the possibility of a new snakey pet. I assured him that the snake was perfectly happy living in the pond. There was momentary sadness but no convincing the Mama, so we quickly moved on.
Aaaaaand no fishies for the Daddy. Aaaahhh - fishing's just not quite what it used to be pre-kidlets.......but waaaay more eventful!
A truly, glorious day indeed!
Well - except for the ATROCIOUS black flies that almost ate us alive.
We decided to go on another crazy family adventure and check out some place that Kev's friend told him about where there is potentially great fishing to be had and a super fun place to take our family. I have not a clue where we ended up, but it truly was an adventure!
We loaded the car with all the necessities: bug dope, camel back for our water, wellies, fishing poles, spare clothes for kidlets, fire wood, hotdogs, and buckets and nets for potential treasures.
And then we drove. And then we got lost. And then we ended up on some dirt road in the middle of nowhere for a few miles. Then we parked and hiked about a half mile UP a trail through the woods - backpacking Jesse and our stuff - trying to avoid patch upon patch of poison ivy...all the while getting somewhat eaten alive, but not too bad.
And THEN - out of nowhere - we ended up at this gorgeous pond with firepit already built and a little peice of Heaven on Earth where we kicked it for the day! The boys got thoroughly drenched while exploring and playing in the water. We fed them a horrific lunch of hotdogs, chips, and M&M's. And we found a treasure trove of little boy wonders!!!
* Tons of minnows - almost all of which Jesse killed by continuing to hold them.
* Several frogs.
* Two leeches - which Jesse tried to kiss - which I quickly put the kibosh to.
* TONS of minnow eggs - Oh! This was so exciting for me!!!
* And the kicker - a snake that was eating a frog when I picked it up! How COOL is that?!!!! He dropped the frog as soon as I grabbed him, and Kaden was a little distressed that the frog might be dead but equally excited at the possibility of a new snakey pet. I assured him that the snake was perfectly happy living in the pond. There was momentary sadness but no convincing the Mama, so we quickly moved on.
Aaaaaand no fishies for the Daddy. Aaaahhh - fishing's just not quite what it used to be pre-kidlets.......but waaaay more eventful!
A truly, glorious day indeed!
These Past Few Days......
It's been a wonderful week-end and great start to a new week. Finally, the sun is starting to peek through the clouds, and that always makes all of us happy!
On Saturday, we had a nice lazy family day where we all piled into the car and headed south. Somewhat of an agenda, but no real hurry. We stopped and explored an old, dirt road. We watched four turtles sunning themselves on a log in someone's pond. We stopped at a flea market and I refrained from buying a wooden box even though Kev said that I could - and I loved it. Willpower baby. We had a yummy lunch, and we stopped at the ocean and looked for starfish. After we came home - tired and happy - a family nap was in order. And then in the evening I was lavished with sweet cards, snuggles and kisses, and Mama's favorite candy. One couldn't have asked for nicer gifts.
We've been dreaming about land and a place of our own. God is reminding us to be content and to be still. Our boys are content if they see contentment in us. Outside play takes more effort and more imagination - often a drive - but it's not impossible.
We interviewed with U.S. Center for World Missions this afternoon, and Kev travels to Pasedena, California in June for further training. God continues to affirm what we are doing and continues to challenge us to trust Him with our all. He is good.
I saw my girls this morning. The kids got outside play and much worm digging took place. A chicken is cooking, the boys are napping, the house is as clean as I care for it to be. Daddy doesn't need to make phone calls tonight. A walk is in order. Salamanders to be found. Boys to be snuggled. Beds to be tucked into. Snuggles with my man. And sleep, blessed sleep, for this chubby Mama.
A good day.
On Saturday, we had a nice lazy family day where we all piled into the car and headed south. Somewhat of an agenda, but no real hurry. We stopped and explored an old, dirt road. We watched four turtles sunning themselves on a log in someone's pond. We stopped at a flea market and I refrained from buying a wooden box even though Kev said that I could - and I loved it. Willpower baby. We had a yummy lunch, and we stopped at the ocean and looked for starfish. After we came home - tired and happy - a family nap was in order. And then in the evening I was lavished with sweet cards, snuggles and kisses, and Mama's favorite candy. One couldn't have asked for nicer gifts.
We've been dreaming about land and a place of our own. God is reminding us to be content and to be still. Our boys are content if they see contentment in us. Outside play takes more effort and more imagination - often a drive - but it's not impossible.
We interviewed with U.S. Center for World Missions this afternoon, and Kev travels to Pasedena, California in June for further training. God continues to affirm what we are doing and continues to challenge us to trust Him with our all. He is good.
I saw my girls this morning. The kids got outside play and much worm digging took place. A chicken is cooking, the boys are napping, the house is as clean as I care for it to be. Daddy doesn't need to make phone calls tonight. A walk is in order. Salamanders to be found. Boys to be snuggled. Beds to be tucked into. Snuggles with my man. And sleep, blessed sleep, for this chubby Mama.
A good day.
Crossing Over
Well.....
This weekend we did the unthinkable. The thing that I said (actually, we both said) that we would never do. We crossed over into the realm of what I always said was totally uncool, and because I planned to be cool forever - this would just never do!
Well, you know - things happen.
You grow a child. Then another comes along. Then, well Heaven's to Betsy, another's on the way. And before you know it........
Not sure why the picture copied so small, but you get the picture. Yep. We crossed over into the realm of "minivan-dum." We're growing, the price was right, and man alive, we are the biggest pack-rat-inest family that I know. We practically live in our vehicle, so this was the next logical step.
Anyone want a supercool Saturn Vue? It just doesn't suit us anymore!
.......But we're still cool.
This weekend we did the unthinkable. The thing that I said (actually, we both said) that we would never do. We crossed over into the realm of what I always said was totally uncool, and because I planned to be cool forever - this would just never do!
Well, you know - things happen.
You grow a child. Then another comes along. Then, well Heaven's to Betsy, another's on the way. And before you know it........
Not sure why the picture copied so small, but you get the picture. Yep. We crossed over into the realm of "minivan-dum." We're growing, the price was right, and man alive, we are the biggest pack-rat-inest family that I know. We practically live in our vehicle, so this was the next logical step.
Anyone want a supercool Saturn Vue? It just doesn't suit us anymore!
.......But we're still cool.
On Parenting - "The Ultimate Adventure".....
Leslie Fields, mother of six and author of Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt (WaterBrook, 2008) has written a deeply thoughtful, provocative theology of parenting....
See what ya'll think of this. The quotes I posted yesterday are from this same book.
“Even in my weakness, I am living out before my children the most essential truth of our lives: all of us are in severe need of this glorious and merciful Savior.”
How does a weary parent, trying hard and failing often, clearly and practically manifest that truth – that we all desperately need a Savior -- to her children?
I think we can stop pretending that we’re perfect, or even that we’re trying to be perfect in front of our children. That leaves so little room for God.
What I want most for my children is that they would be dependent upon God. I can’t make them God-dependent, but I can live out my own dependence on God. I can do this by letting my kids see my fatigue at times, my mistakes, my limitations, even my tears---and my fears! Let them see some of that, as is age appropriate.
I remember one time when my husband had been gone for 2 weeks. I was exhausted. My five sons were fighting and tearing the house apart. They wouldn’t listen to me, and I just lost it. I just broke down and cried in front of them. They stopped, stunned. Suddenly they had a very visual display of the impact of their behavior! They quit. They apologized and things settled down.
Now, I didn’t plan that. In fact, I plan for the opposite—that I’ll always be in control, I’ll always have the right answer and response . . . but if you’re superwoman all the time, they’ll not see your need of God. Don’t be afraid to just be human! Let them see you pray when you’re afraid, when you fail. Let them see your sadness at your own sin. Let them hear of your own struggles to live righteously.
We can’t bring our children to faith ourselves---this is God’s work. But we can show them what it looks like to live as a servant of God.
The truths of God’s word have brought so much freedom to my parenting life! I’m freed from the tyranny of unrealistic expectations of parenting----that we’re going to have happy happy homes, happy happy children, we’re going to be happy and fulfilled all the time! God never promised any of that.
Now, I know that our children come to us not to make us happy, but for the much greater purpose of serving God. No matter who they end up being, no matter their choices, they are here for God’s great purposes. I’m freed as well from thinking that my children will become who I make them. That’s not only an impossible burden to carry, but it’s simply unbiblical.
My whole view of parenting has shifted, from how I feel about parenting, to what is real and true about parenting. Knowing these fuller truths doesn’t magically erase all the guilt and worry, but much of it has faded. I’ve learned to lean far more on God than myself.
It’s time to get honest about parenting. Its amazing work, and it’s very hard. But I think we’re making harder than it needs to be. We’re carrying around a lot of myths that are making this role nearly impossible. You CAN be the parent you want to be. Not by DOING more---our parenting to-do lists are long enough. Not even by BEING more---but by believing more!!
Believing that your children are gifts and blessings. That they were given to you to teach you how to love, to enlarge your heart. They’re NOT given to make us happy and fulfilled all the time. And they were NOT given to make you always feel guilty.
Ultimately, our children are for much more than us. They’re here for greater purposes than fulfilling our dreams and our needs. They’re here for God’s purposes. Every one of our children is on her own spiritual journey with God. And, amazingly, we get to be a part of it! The weight of guilt and failure is gone-----the adventure returns!
IT's good. Goooooood.
See what ya'll think of this. The quotes I posted yesterday are from this same book.
“Even in my weakness, I am living out before my children the most essential truth of our lives: all of us are in severe need of this glorious and merciful Savior.”
How does a weary parent, trying hard and failing often, clearly and practically manifest that truth – that we all desperately need a Savior -- to her children?
I think we can stop pretending that we’re perfect, or even that we’re trying to be perfect in front of our children. That leaves so little room for God.
What I want most for my children is that they would be dependent upon God. I can’t make them God-dependent, but I can live out my own dependence on God. I can do this by letting my kids see my fatigue at times, my mistakes, my limitations, even my tears---and my fears! Let them see some of that, as is age appropriate.
I remember one time when my husband had been gone for 2 weeks. I was exhausted. My five sons were fighting and tearing the house apart. They wouldn’t listen to me, and I just lost it. I just broke down and cried in front of them. They stopped, stunned. Suddenly they had a very visual display of the impact of their behavior! They quit. They apologized and things settled down.
Now, I didn’t plan that. In fact, I plan for the opposite—that I’ll always be in control, I’ll always have the right answer and response . . . but if you’re superwoman all the time, they’ll not see your need of God. Don’t be afraid to just be human! Let them see you pray when you’re afraid, when you fail. Let them see your sadness at your own sin. Let them hear of your own struggles to live righteously.
We can’t bring our children to faith ourselves---this is God’s work. But we can show them what it looks like to live as a servant of God.
The truths of God’s word have brought so much freedom to my parenting life! I’m freed from the tyranny of unrealistic expectations of parenting----that we’re going to have happy happy homes, happy happy children, we’re going to be happy and fulfilled all the time! God never promised any of that.
Now, I know that our children come to us not to make us happy, but for the much greater purpose of serving God. No matter who they end up being, no matter their choices, they are here for God’s great purposes. I’m freed as well from thinking that my children will become who I make them. That’s not only an impossible burden to carry, but it’s simply unbiblical.
My whole view of parenting has shifted, from how I feel about parenting, to what is real and true about parenting. Knowing these fuller truths doesn’t magically erase all the guilt and worry, but much of it has faded. I’ve learned to lean far more on God than myself.
It’s time to get honest about parenting. Its amazing work, and it’s very hard. But I think we’re making harder than it needs to be. We’re carrying around a lot of myths that are making this role nearly impossible. You CAN be the parent you want to be. Not by DOING more---our parenting to-do lists are long enough. Not even by BEING more---but by believing more!!
Believing that your children are gifts and blessings. That they were given to you to teach you how to love, to enlarge your heart. They’re NOT given to make us happy and fulfilled all the time. And they were NOT given to make you always feel guilty.
Ultimately, our children are for much more than us. They’re here for greater purposes than fulfilling our dreams and our needs. They’re here for God’s purposes. Every one of our children is on her own spiritual journey with God. And, amazingly, we get to be a part of it! The weight of guilt and failure is gone-----the adventure returns!
IT's good. Goooooood.
Life
I had my second appointment with my new midwife yesterday. It was long, and the whole little family came. The boys were busy but good for us. It took most of the morning with going over old records, getting blood work done, checking the stats of me and the babe. She says we've got a live one in there - she could barely follow him/her in order to check their heartbeat. Kev and I looked at each other - oh no - another one! :0) It's all good! Hard to believe I'm in my fifth month - almost halfway there now. It still doesn't seem completely real to me, and there are days when I think that I've already reached my maximum capacity, so what in the world am I thinking in bringing another little life into this world?
But I am quieted and I am stilled. It's not about me - and it's not about my capacity and capabilities. It's all about Christ and His sole sufficiency!
While the boys were playing quietly this morning I read in the Psalms about acquiring wisdom and with wisdom seeking to acquire understanding as well. I'm to take hold of it and guard it - "for it is my LIFE!" Wisdom and understanding need to be at the heart of all that I do; and when I prize these two things the results will be "grace" and "beauty." (Psalm 4) Who doesn't want a Mommy who is gracious with her speech and life and who is full of beauty on the inside? This is my prayer.
This blessed me today:
"We have to accept the reality that there is much uncertainty in parenting. Parenting is very much a walk by faith rather than by sight. God has planned it this way. Rather than relying on ourselves and our capabilities, we are constantly thrown upon the throne of God, feeling helpless and overwhelmed.
That is right where God wants us---at his feet. So the source of so much pain in parenting, sends us to source of the greatest solace---God himself.
Loving God with all our heart and soul and mind is our highest calling.
“If I pursue God first as my highest call and am satisfied in His love, then I am freed not to love my children less but to love them rightly.”
When I focus on loving God first, then it seems to set everything in a clearer perspective.
I can resist the constant temptation to see my children as extensions of myself, which gets me into a lot of trouble!
I can resist the temptation to find my identity, significance and purpose through my children instead of through Christ."
When I get this order right—loving God first—an amazing thing happens. I have so much more love—the right kind of love!-- to offer my children. I have less pride, more understanding and patience to offer".
Good, eh? I didn't write it, but Jesse's awake, and I'm too tired to link to this lady. More to come on her at another time......She's over on my right sidebar under "Good Stuff" - "A Holy Experience."
But I am quieted and I am stilled. It's not about me - and it's not about my capacity and capabilities. It's all about Christ and His sole sufficiency!
While the boys were playing quietly this morning I read in the Psalms about acquiring wisdom and with wisdom seeking to acquire understanding as well. I'm to take hold of it and guard it - "for it is my LIFE!" Wisdom and understanding need to be at the heart of all that I do; and when I prize these two things the results will be "grace" and "beauty." (Psalm 4) Who doesn't want a Mommy who is gracious with her speech and life and who is full of beauty on the inside? This is my prayer.
This blessed me today:
"We have to accept the reality that there is much uncertainty in parenting. Parenting is very much a walk by faith rather than by sight. God has planned it this way. Rather than relying on ourselves and our capabilities, we are constantly thrown upon the throne of God, feeling helpless and overwhelmed.
That is right where God wants us---at his feet. So the source of so much pain in parenting, sends us to source of the greatest solace---God himself.
Loving God with all our heart and soul and mind is our highest calling.
“If I pursue God first as my highest call and am satisfied in His love, then I am freed not to love my children less but to love them rightly.”
When I focus on loving God first, then it seems to set everything in a clearer perspective.
I can resist the constant temptation to see my children as extensions of myself, which gets me into a lot of trouble!
I can resist the temptation to find my identity, significance and purpose through my children instead of through Christ."
When I get this order right—loving God first—an amazing thing happens. I have so much more love—the right kind of love!-- to offer my children. I have less pride, more understanding and patience to offer".
Good, eh? I didn't write it, but Jesse's awake, and I'm too tired to link to this lady. More to come on her at another time......She's over on my right sidebar under "Good Stuff" - "A Holy Experience."
Feeling Naggy
I feel like I've been a drill-sargeant naggy mommy lately, and I hate it. Not even sure why; I've just been a crab. Came across this post during naps today and was encouraged. Lord, give me healing words of love and encouragement. Help me to seek out and remark on the good things and overlook the little irritants.
Mother Love is Hard to Explain
By Daring Young Mom on Wednesday, April 22,
Last night I found myself trying to explain to a 15-year-old girl, who has “issues” with her own mother and doesn’t plan on ever having kids of her own, how I feel about my own kids. I’m not sure how the conversation got to this place. I’m sure she didn’t ask me, “Hey Kathryn, please pour out your heart’s deepest feelings to me about motherhood.” I just wanted to tell her. I started talking and it all came spilling out.
When I’m blogging or even talking about my kids, I often share their funny quirks or the difficulties and challenges that make motherhood a struggle. It’s fun to whine about the hardships and to share never-a-dull-moment anecdotes.
The real sweetness of being a mom sort of gets stuck in my guts sometimes. It comes out at night when I’m watching them sleep or in those moments when I stare at them in wonder and think, “How was I so blessed to have a hand in creating you, in growing you cell by cell and now experience by experience?”
I told my teen friend that the love I have for them is strange and hard to explain in words. For a while they were literally a part of my body like baby “Kip” is right now, inside me, tearing things up and sharing my blood, food and the air I breathe. Then suddenly these people came spilling out and *snip* their body was their own. They still need me in many ways but every minute they get a little more independent, a little more sure that there is a world beyond my reach, a world they will discover and I will never truly understand.
I love watching them grow but there’s a part of me that sneaks into their rooms each night and just wants to smoosh them and cuddle them so tightly that they somehow meld back into me and never go off to school or karate lessons again. And they have no idea how I feel. They won’t until they have kids of their own.
They have a blend of Dan’s face and mine. Because we made them. When they say or do something that one of us would say or do, it just furthers my sense of claim on them. They are mine. Isn’t it obvious? There’s something so primal and possessive about my motherly feelings. They stem from the deepest places and they show themselves in the quiet times, the times I have a chance to breathe and stop doing motherhood and just enjoy feeling and being it.
It’s the day-to-day fights over whether pants and shoes need to be worn in public places, whether we should wipe stray paint on our new school clothes or if throwing rocks at the walls in the living room is a good game that these feelings get buried and my inner nanny/drill sergeant takes over. Those are the fun stories to tell my friends, who sympathize with me and share war stories of their own.
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve talked with my mom friends about the other feelings that are brewing, the love feelings that don’t really have a name. Maybe they’re too close, too personal to share casually over a hotdog at the mall. Maybe we don’t know how to talk about them. Maybe we can sense the same feelings in each other and we don’t need to put them into words. It’s enough to know they’re there.....
But my kids need to see this too! They need to see these feelings and this love for them lived out in front of them way more than they need to hear the nagging. Show me Father. Give me Your grace - Your love....
Mother Love is Hard to Explain
By Daring Young Mom on Wednesday, April 22,
Last night I found myself trying to explain to a 15-year-old girl, who has “issues” with her own mother and doesn’t plan on ever having kids of her own, how I feel about my own kids. I’m not sure how the conversation got to this place. I’m sure she didn’t ask me, “Hey Kathryn, please pour out your heart’s deepest feelings to me about motherhood.” I just wanted to tell her. I started talking and it all came spilling out.
When I’m blogging or even talking about my kids, I often share their funny quirks or the difficulties and challenges that make motherhood a struggle. It’s fun to whine about the hardships and to share never-a-dull-moment anecdotes.
The real sweetness of being a mom sort of gets stuck in my guts sometimes. It comes out at night when I’m watching them sleep or in those moments when I stare at them in wonder and think, “How was I so blessed to have a hand in creating you, in growing you cell by cell and now experience by experience?”
I told my teen friend that the love I have for them is strange and hard to explain in words. For a while they were literally a part of my body like baby “Kip” is right now, inside me, tearing things up and sharing my blood, food and the air I breathe. Then suddenly these people came spilling out and *snip* their body was their own. They still need me in many ways but every minute they get a little more independent, a little more sure that there is a world beyond my reach, a world they will discover and I will never truly understand.
I love watching them grow but there’s a part of me that sneaks into their rooms each night and just wants to smoosh them and cuddle them so tightly that they somehow meld back into me and never go off to school or karate lessons again. And they have no idea how I feel. They won’t until they have kids of their own.
They have a blend of Dan’s face and mine. Because we made them. When they say or do something that one of us would say or do, it just furthers my sense of claim on them. They are mine. Isn’t it obvious? There’s something so primal and possessive about my motherly feelings. They stem from the deepest places and they show themselves in the quiet times, the times I have a chance to breathe and stop doing motherhood and just enjoy feeling and being it.
It’s the day-to-day fights over whether pants and shoes need to be worn in public places, whether we should wipe stray paint on our new school clothes or if throwing rocks at the walls in the living room is a good game that these feelings get buried and my inner nanny/drill sergeant takes over. Those are the fun stories to tell my friends, who sympathize with me and share war stories of their own.
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve talked with my mom friends about the other feelings that are brewing, the love feelings that don’t really have a name. Maybe they’re too close, too personal to share casually over a hotdog at the mall. Maybe we don’t know how to talk about them. Maybe we can sense the same feelings in each other and we don’t need to put them into words. It’s enough to know they’re there.....
But my kids need to see this too! They need to see these feelings and this love for them lived out in front of them way more than they need to hear the nagging. Show me Father. Give me Your grace - Your love....